A/N: Yay, more reviews! Thank you for letting me know what you feel about the story; it's nice to know that someone gets to end of a chapter :P Thanks to Lady-Mearle particularly - I'm glad you're enjoying it. Just a heads up that this chapter is a little shorter than usual, because it reached the right stopping point. Chapter VII is hopefully on the way soon; enjoy! xx

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Chapter VI – Into the Dark

She was dreaming. She knew she was. It was too weird not to be a dream. But that didn't stop her, perhaps a little guiltily, from craving that it wasn't.

Rose had fallen. She had fallen faster and harder than she had ever thought was possible in her life. It had come as a shock. The sheer force of the feelings and emotions that had swept her up were astounding; but so, of course, was the darkness.

After a brief but very definite fall, she had suddenly landed in the middle of a park. Well, 'landed' was a little forceful. Arrived would be more accurate, as the next thing she knew, she was lying on her back, staring up at a summer-blue sky with candyfloss clouds floating to and fro. In her hands she was twiddling a daisy, and she was totally relaxed. Every muscle in her body thought this was the happiest place on earth. And it was.

She was lying in the local park in London, about a ten minutes' walk from her home. The air was soft and warm; it was summer. All around her she could hear the happy cries of children running and screaming, enjoying the day. Parents were dotted around, in couples or alone, and somewhere in the distance she could hear the sounds of cars on the road. But none of it could touch Rose. It wasn't a part of her any more. She was the outside, the one trapped behind the glass, and she would never be let back in. Not that she minded. This was nice.

She sat up. Something was buzzing in her ear. She thought it was a bee at first, and this made her muscles clench; she didn't like bees. But then Rose realised that the buzzing seemed to be coming from within her, and no matter how much she shook herself, she could not get the feeling to disappear.

But with her desire to remove the buzzing came a new feeling – a feeling of sudden insufficiency. The longing to want to make that last stretch, to help herself more than anyone else could help her. Before she knew it, she was standing up.

And then, her surroundings began to change. At first they just span and blurred together, the colours merging to form new, exciting shades. But then they began to fade and grow deeper and darker until she was lost in an abyss of blackness again. Only this time, she wasn't falling. This time, rather than falling through the blackness into nothing, she was supported by it. She stood, as if on a stage. There was nothing around her, no sound, no light. She wouldn't have seen a hand pass in front of her face. She could hear her own breathing, rising and falling with fear, but that was as far as it went. Rose's voice was caught in her throat; she couldn't have spoken. Her throat felt parched, as if it had been starved of water for years and years and years. She knew that nobody understood.

And then, suddenly, out of the darkness and the unfamiliarity there came something else. A voice. She could have recognised that voice absolutely anywhere, in any form, shape or place. It was the Doctor. But not just any Doctor. Her Doctor.

"Rose Tyler," it chuckled with wonder, its Northern edge smiling at her name. She looked, turned and turned, kept turning, looking for somewhere for the voice to be coming from. But there was nothing.

"You won't find me by looking there," said his voice again wisely. She looked up, down, everywhere. Still nothing. The Doctor chuckled. "Or there."

"Where...?" Rose began, but found that she could not get the rest of the words out.

"It's a dream, Rose. Your body's telling you that but your mind still doesn't want to believe it. If you want to see me... release your mind."

Confused, but trusting, she closed her eyes (for all the good it did) and relaxed. When she opened them again, there he was, standing with her in the darkness. Leather jacket, dark brown cotton shirt, jeans. And that smile. Always that infectious, ridiculous smile, that spread right across his face almost touching the tip of his dessert-spoon ears.

"Hello," he said softly, smiling. "Thought I'd find you here."

"Where are we?"

Her voice was back.

"To put it simply, your head," he replied, shoving his hands in to his pocket. There was no reason for it. She had just always remembered him doing so. "I'm your subconscious. The one that controls your dreams. It's strange that I'd be here talking to you."

"Why are you the Doctor?"

"Questions, questions, Rose," he laughed, throwing his head up. "You always were inquisitive. Asked the right questions, demanded the right answers. That's what I loved about you."

"You always had the answers though, Doctor," she smiled. "What are we doing here?"

"I dunno," he said. Then he grinned. "Was that one of those 'answers' you were talking about?"

She reached out and punched him playfully on the arm. Nothing and no one surrounded them, and yet they were still always how they used to be. Fascinating.

"I guess you have some 'unresolved issue'. That's what usually happens when the subconscious talks to the brain directly." He looked at her with his crystal blue eyes, and they shined at her with such a wonder that her heart skipped a beat. "Is there something you've been neglecting to tell yourself, Rose? Or me, for that matter."

"Not that I can think of."

"Oh, come on," he grinned. "You can't lie to your own subconscious. There's gotta be a law against it, or something."

"Always so full of yourself, Doctor," she laughed. They caught each other's eye. "What you doing here, anyway?" He opened his mouth, but she cut across him – "Besides from being my 'subconscious', or whatever."

"Oh. Well, then, I guess this is how you wanted your subliminal mind to look in your brain." He looked down at himself, observing the clothes and his own body. Then he looked back up and looked at her, her soft brown eyes, her blonde hair, her ridiculous Union Jack t-shirt. God, how he hated that shirt.

"I'm flattered," he beamed. "That you chose me, I mean. It means I get to talk to you. It's a little one sided, though, cos mostly this is all your mind working me up into some sort of picture that you want me to be."

"I don't think I had much choice," Rose replied, a little confused. "I'm still not sure what's going on Out There."

She had meant out in the real world, where emotions hurt and she had no control over anything. The world that was exciting and fresh and tasted rusty in her mouth.

"Nah," shrugged the Doctor. Then he offered his arm. "Walk?"

"To where?" she asked, laughing. "It's not as if this place is full of paths and walkways."

He shook his head. "You just aren't opening your eyes wide enough," he said, a glint appearing in his eye. "There's a path all around you. Everywhere. You just need to take it."

"Er... What?" Rose asked, looking around again. "I don't see anything, and I'm not exactly standing here with my eyes closed."

He laughed again, and it filled the entire room – at least, Rose guessed it was a room. It could hardly go on forever.

"It doesn't matter," he said softly. His eyes began to shine. "I'm only here to warn you."

"About what?"

"The End is coming, Rose," the Doctor replied severely. "I'm not talking world-ending, here. I mean the problem you have with the results of the Time Vortex."

It seemed that this Doctor was surprisingly blunt.

"What d'you mean, Doctor?"

God she asked that question a lot in his presence.

He sighed. "I mean that when the time comes, you're going to have make a choice. The choice. The one that'll change the future – past – present. Oh, I never could get these tenses right. What I mean to say is, it's down to you."

"What is?"

"About who stays and who goes. I can't explain how or why because that's not allowed."

"I thought this was a dream."

"It is. But it's a warning too. I came here to ask you something."

He reached out and took her hand in his. She felt the warmth of his fingers enclose around hers, and she was comforted. As he squeezed gently, she felt the warmth spread, up her arm, in to her chest and through her heart. From there, it hit her entire body. It was magic.

She looked up to him, her face still and her mouth smiling. Her eyes were pure pools of adoration.

"What do you want to ask, Doctor?" she asked ever so softly. Her voice sent a shiver through him, but he ignored it. Instead, he pulled her close, so that their bodies were inches apart, and looked down in to her eyes. He could have put his arm around her, right there and then, and kissed her with all the passion and love in the world that one kiss would allow. But this wasn't himself, he told himself. This was Rose's manifestation of him. What a sweet girl. So innocent, so moral – she could never understand.

"You can't pick me," he said softly. He watched as a frown crinkled her brow, and continued before she could ask. "When the time comes to choose who goes and who stays... you have to leave me behind. You have to let go, Rose. My being in your world isn't right and it will destroy you, sooner or later, to carry on trying to live something that isn't real. Dreams are good for us, Rose, they keep us reaching towards the stars. But you can't live in them, and you can't hold on to them. Dreams are for dreaming, not living. It's dangerous to try and live the unliveable. You'll end up killing yourself, slowly, from the inside out. And... I can't watch that happen to you. I can't sit back and watch you break your own heart. Not like that."

Rose was speechless. If she had thought he was blunt before, this was like a slap in the face.

"What are you talking about?" she marvelled.

"Do I need to spell it out for you?" he asked, the tips of his mouth turned up in to a smile that reached his eyes.

"I think you might have to, Doctor," she said innocently. He sighed. Oh yes, she had no idea.

"From the Time Vortex. My regeneration. He's the one you should be seeing right now, the one you should be thinking about. I'm just a memory. Or I should have been."

"So this is…?"

"I'm you, Rose."

She let her hand drop, and stepped away slightly. She just needed the space between, so she could look at him. She didn't want to leave him, to feel the warmth of his body slip further away; but she didn't have a choice.

"What do you mean you're me?" she asked, her eyes questioning and her face in a frown. "You can't be me."

"Subconscious, Rose," he said, tapping his head with his index finger. "It's all up here."

"But… I'm talking to you."

"Your version of me, yeah. But I'm not 'the Doctor'. I'm you. Well, a part of you and a part of me. As is the one in the real world."

At this, she stopped. This was just too much. Her instincts told her to run, run in to the darkness and be lost by it. But then, she'd never see him again. This was her one chance to put it right; something told her so.

"I'm not real," he continued simply. "I told you this was a dream. I'm part of you, in here. But I'm part of you Out There, too. A consequence from the time vortex. You made me."

"Are you saying that…" Rose caught is eye, "… That there's two of you because… I did it?"

"Yup," he replied, his voice rolling over the letters. He took a step towards her. "When you absorbed the vortex, you absorbed the Heart of the TARDIS. That's my Heart, Rose, or as good as. You absorbed me. And then it rubbed off on you and spilled out into physical manifestation for all eyes to see."

She looked at him with large eyes and a frown across her face. She suddenly felt very alone. "So. Does that mean there aren't two Doctors?"

"Got it in one," he replied simply, shrugging.

"But, I see you. You're… there."

"You created me," the Doctor answered softly, looking at her with shining eyes. "It's your mind that made me, as well as the essence of who I used to be. Combined with the vortex… well, let's not get in to the explanation. Didn't you wonder why I always seemed to rush to your side whenever you were hurt?"

"You did that anyway," Rose pointed out.

"Yeah, but more so now. I'm here to protect you and keep you safe. That's the only reason you kept me alive."

"I…" Rose stumbled. She could feel a burning sensation rise up out of her stomach, like the lava from a volcano. It brought tears to her tired eyes. "I don't understand."

"No, I thought you were taking this in a little too easily," he laughed. Then he took a step towards her and ruffled her hair affectionately. "My own little human ape. Cleverer than the lot of them, you are."

She blushed.

"Not really," Rose mumbled. "I just wanted to see the stars."

"And I could show 'em to you," smiled the Doctor. "I know. It was all new and exciting. You didn't care about the danger, you just wanted to help."

"I guess," Rose shrugged. But then she looked at him pointedly. "But what about you, Doctor? Don't you just wanna help?"

He laughed. "You know me. I always want to help!"

They stood in a comfortable silence, the thoughts and memories of what they had been through suddenly filling their minds. But suddenly, the Doctor turned away, and when he spoke, his voice was full of such gravity that Rose had no choice but to listen.

"It's all just a memory, Rose. All this. You need to let it go. Let me go."

She walked over to him and tentatively put a hand on his shoulder. He didn't turn.

"I don't think I can."

He kept his head ahead and didn't turn to look at her, despite the temptation to turn and see her soul though those wonderful eyes.

"I'm gone," he said quietly. "I'm not dead – I've just changed. And you have to deal with it. It's sort of ironic, but you can't live in the past."

The hand on his shoulder tightened.

"I don't want to lose you, Doctor. I can't. You were so…"

She trailed off, without being able to find a word that described him. Funny. Intelligent. Quick, clever, amazing. Fantastic. Everything she had been looking for for the past nineteen years of her life. He couldn't be gone. It just wasn't fair.

Finally, he gave in to temptation and turned around. His eyes were large and his mouth was straight. He looked as though he were about to cry. But he sucked in a breath, closed his eyes for comfort, and opened them again to speak to her.

"I know," he said softly, looking at her intently. "I know, cos so were you. But it's the past. And you're the only one who can fix it."

Rose closed her eyes and sniffed back the stubborn tears that had forced their way to her eyes. The next thing she felt was the Doctor's hand cupping her face, his warm glow resonating through her like a waterfall. She opened her eyes. He was so close; now would be the time to tell him how she had felt. How every day she had fought by his side, winning, losing and always enjoying it. They'd saved the world, over and over again. His endless knowledge, wit and charm had captivated her and every morning when she had woken up, she had prayed that she wasn't dreaming. And it always came true – she always found herself greeted with a warm smile, an affectionate sarcastic remark at her sleeping habits. All because he was fond of her. He had always been able to tell her exactly what she'd needed to hear, and just being near him was enough to make her ecstatically happy.

But it wasn't to last. Now he was gone, and he was asking her to do the one thing that she could never ever do. Kill him.

"I – " she began. She wanted to tell him. She had to.

He slid the thumb of his hand around her face over her lips, stopping her from talking. His blue eyes bore in to hers until she felt like he was stuck in a trance.

"I know," he repeated, his voice barely audible. "I know exactly. I felt it too."

Her mouth was dry and Rose wanted to lick her lips – but the Doctor's thumb was still there, and she didn't want to do anything that would scare this safe feeling away. She wanted to be like this always. Even as she stood, she began to taste a familiar yet strange taste in her mouth. She recognised it at once as the taste of the Doctor's kiss, the one she had tasted when he'd saved her from the vortex. It passed within a second; but she remembered and craved it more now than ever. Damn those electric blue eyes of his.

He was searching her eyes with his, perhaps for an answer; an answer that she didn't have.

"This is the last time you'll see me," he said at last, sighing. He moved his hand slowly away from her skin until it was back at his side. She could still feel the ghost of his palm on her cheek. "You know, now, so you won't get too attached. But there's one last thing I have to tell you."

"You're not going," Rose pleaded, and was annoyed to find that she sounded so upset. Her voice was choked as if she were already drowning in tears.

"I have to. But you'll always be able to remember me." He put an index finger to above her heart. "In here."

"I can't do it alone," she murmured, the tears finally winning. They spilled out over her cheeks, and the Doctor flinched inwardly to see that he had caused the pain that was reflected in them. "You can't leave me."

"You're not alone. You still have me. The New me. He'll be okay." A pause. Then, "It'll all be okay. I promise. That's my last promise, from me to you, all right?"

He took her hand in both of his and held it, his eyes never leaving her for a second. She nodded. The Doctor took one of his hands from hers and reached it up to pull absently at stray strands of her hair. He looked at it with wonder.

"You know, I always loved this hair," he commented. She laughed, perhaps a little hollowly, and shook her head. He always said the right thing at the wrong time. But then his eyes wandered back to hers again, and they were locked. "But don't think that you're killing me," he said seriously, and there was commanding in his voice. "I've promised you it'll be alright, but you have to promise me you won't blame yourself. It isn't your fault and you're not killing me. Promise me that."

She sniffed in response, words lost in the abyss around her. There was nothing he could say.

The Doctor smiled, and rested his forehead against hers. He could feel her breath on his face, panting and torn. He closed his eyes to speak – it would be easier that way.

"You could never kill me, Rose Tyler. You gave me life. Taught me how to live when everyone else had abandoned me to my fate. You taught me not to be afraid – "

Another choked cry. He kept his eyes shut firmly.

" – And you taught me how to love. With my heart, my head, my arms, legs… all of it, Rose." His eyes flashed open, and he looked down in to hers. "I loved you. Every strand of hair on your head, ever dash of colour in your eye and every daft thought that whizzed through that head of yours. I loved it all."

"Way to keep a girl from crying, Doctor," Rose laughed as another salty tear trickled down her nose. He blinked his eyes calmly, shook his head with amusement then retracted his body from hers.

"I couldn't have told you," the Doctor reasoned, with a small shrug. "I didn't really want to admit it. I kept lying to myself, pretending that it was all just a warped little idealism of my own little mind."

"I know what you mean," Rose sighed. She looked at him and wished she could reach out and touch him again. But she wasn't sure she was able to. "At first I thought I was imagining it."

"Exactly." There was a pause as the Doctor considered admitting something. Rose was watching him with intent, so he took a breath and plunged. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you. If I had… maybe things would be different."

"It's not your fault," Rose replied, shaking her head. "You couldn't have done anything else. You sent me back to London to protect me. You didn't know I would find a way back to you."

"No," the Doctor laughed honestly. "Surprised me with that one. You found the one and only way back, that even I didn't know about."

"You can't say you weren't pleased to see me," Rose smiled.

"I was extremely pleased to see you," he countered. "It meant I didn't have to destroy the Earth; either by letting the Daleks take over or by pushing that damned leaver."

"Yeah," Rose mumbled, frowning a little. "What actually happened with that? My memory's a little fuzzy."

"You should ask the Doctor when you see him," he replied wisely. "Now isn't the time."

Oh. Back to that.

But before Rose had the time to complain, she felt a sudden pain rip through her. It started at her chest but rose and throbbed until every single cell in her body seemed to be screaming at her. Her eyes widened, and she stumbled, falling to the floor. The Doctor crouched hurriedly next to her and put a hand on her arm. The pain receded slightly.

"We're running out of time," he said urgently. "I've told you everything you needed to hear, and now you need to save everyone. Be the hero, Rose," he smiled. "My hero."

As she looked at him, she knew the tears in her eyes were not only from the pain.

"What about you?" she managed.

"I'll always be here, a part of you. You'll hear my voice in your head when you need it."

"But I still don't know – "

"You have to end it," the Doctor said. His voice was growing a little impatient. "I'm mortal. Death will come for me, and when it does, you have to let me go. Because it isn't really me. It's just a dream. A memory."

"I can't…" Rose began to sob, the pain building again. She thought she might pass out.

The Doctor grabbed her forearms sternly with his hands and shook her. She looked at him. "You can," he assured, looking at her deeply. "I know you can. I found the will to keep going in you. It kept me alive. Now you have to save yourself. Oh, and one last thing."

The Doctor pulled her to her feet and pulled her in to his arms. He didn't care that he took in the scent of her hair as if it were air – it was what he wanted. Then he let her go.

"I wrote that letter for you. The letter you found in my jacket. I'm glad you found it."

"Doctor," she cried, wanting to hit him and kiss him all at the same time. "Why didn't you tell me?"

He hesitated before answering, his mind a racing debris. But he ploughed on, however stupidly. "I was scared, Rose. Scared that I was being foolish, scared that it would mean the end and that I would lose you. I was scared that… you wouldn't love me back."

She gaped at him, the pain writhing and throbbing like the Loch Ness Monster. She wanted to quell it, but it kept rising with every breath, growing and mutating. She felt as if she were being pulled apart in to every corner of the darkness.

"I do!" Rose said hotly, her vision beginning to blur. "I always did. I love you, Doctor."

She had to close her eyes to try and block the pain. She was surrounded in darkness and it terrified her. But she felt his hand close around hers, his fingers entwining with her own.

"I have always loved you, Rose Tyler. Remember me, remember what I I've told you. But now it's time to go."

"No!" she cried, with her eyes shut. She could feel his hand slipping away from hers. "Doctor!" she shouted. But there was no reply. "Doctor! Doctor!"

Rose shouted his name over and over again until her throat felt like she was screaming against a serrated blade. Soon she lost the grip on his hand completely; but still she shouted for him. She shouted and yelled for her Doctor by her side. But she couldn't feel him. She opened her eyes and saw the darkness around her, her Doctor gone. Again she screamed his name, over and over, never stopping.

She sat up, still screaming. Rose had been lying on a cold, metal bed and now, she knew she was awake. But everything was still dark. The back of her neck was drenched with sweat and her forehead glistened. She shivered. He had gone. Her throat was raw and her eyes stung with tears. She wasn't sure how much of her screaming had been in the dream or how much had been real. Tears forced their way painfully out of her eyes, and though she shut them to keep them back, they stung at her until she had no resistance left to fight.

With the sadness of a thousand broken hearts, she wept for the help of the one man who was never coming back.