Slayer3: Alright! I'll talk I'll talk! Just read the following Chapter and back away with the Lionel Richie tapes! Put them down slowly! That's right very slowly! Good Slayer! Good Girl!

Ty-Kwan-Do: Dude! We feel really bad for your friend! We'll be praying for her, if you would like we could write a little cameo in for her! Anything to be helpful1 Orders of the great Tolkien himself! All we need is what she looks like and her name in a general way and she will appear as one of Rohan's women. Don't worry we'll make her kick some real orc …er….

Winkle: "Say "bottom!"

Snodgrass: "Bottom!" Simply send us a private e-mail and we'll keep it under wraps! We don't want any psycho killers reading it and going after her."

Winkle: "But Snodgrass, if they read the next chapter they'll know anyway! And besides the psycho killers may give really long reviews!

Snodgrass: : "Winkle! You are very callus! I must admit that I am surprised at you! Anyway we'll change enough that no one will know who she is, I promise!

Annamariah: "Goin' to the chapel and I'm goin get marrrrrrrrrrried! Can I come too? Oh yes, you were talking about Emily, darn it! Keep reading!

Crazyroninchic: "Yes, she meant the violins! And yes, she meant the Rohan theme! And Yes, she meant that she absolutely loves that too! You know what they say, great minds think alike. So……are you a great mind?

Mary: Mary-Sue, a definition:

Example A: The ash-blond, blue-violet eyed beauty with a dark past. She manages to hide this past quite well by telling someone all about it in the third chapter. Usually this person is Legolas, because you see, Mary Sues are so lovely and adorable that or Mirkwood Prince can't help but be attracted by someone with so many of his own personal traits.

Example B: The red-haired, green-eyed Sue is probably the most common variety, and for some reason, these particular Sues seem most attracted to Haldir. I'm not sure why, they just are. And don't be fooled if they call their hair "auburn" it's just another term for red.

Example C. The raven haired beauty with eyes that vary quite alarmingly. Black, brown, golden, purple, green-flecks, blue-flecks, silver rainbows, and golden flecks. Unless these Sues have "fallen" into M.E. ( which they do with such great frequency that all residents have taken to carrying umbrellas at all times) they are usually the younger, unnamed sister of Arwen. They are more often known as " Elrond's long lost daughter" because it sounds better.

Sigh. I love ranting about these disgusting creatures, and feel that I have done my good deed for the day by warning you. Cheers, and keep reviewing!

Siriusly Sirius Lily Black"I was just kidding! I really like your name although I have no idea what it means. I think I may shorten it to Siriusly Sirius Black because it's almost like Seriously Silly Black. But that sounds insulting! I am glad that the story is helping you look at Middle Earth and it's history differently, it should, because you see Emily and Barbie have exactly been there!

AraelMoonchildI hope this answers all your desires for Emily and Boromir. And sorry, but Barbie doesn't do dirty thoughts at all!

Valiant Warrioress : "Socrates is an ugly horse to Emily who is a horrible judge of horse flesh, but to Barbie's trained eye (When did it become trained?) Socrates is a beautiful animal. And no, Socrates has always had the same name in every chapter he has appeared in. And yes we noticed that whole Edoras and Rohan mix-up.

Lily Took: "Lily, dearest, tell me just how are you related to dear Pippin? And yes, Barbie is a real spit fire isn't she! And I personally loved the whole Emily insulting Wormtongue thing as well. Keep reading!

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Chapter 16

Yes! Yes! Yes!

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Boromir's POV.

Her face shows, all kinds of emotions and I see shock and fear and joy? Lighting her eyes.

Will she answer? What will she answer if she does?

I never a woman's face could be so white! Shock registered on her face at my question and I am afraid she will refuse.

Oh gods! What if she refuses?

I look down at her face and think about when I first saw her, lying in a heap in the odd house they lived in. And when I tried to help, she hit me! I have never had a woman hit me before, I had also never heard such an out spoken and tactless female in my life!

And yet she had risked her life for her sister, and the Fellowship like any noble woman would. And….and she had such gentle hands.

She fascinated me. Would she…..?

"Yes! Oh yes! Yes! Yes! With all my heart!"

Now I hold her to me without reserve and kiss her hair, and face, and hands. I want to laugh and shout it out to the world.

She will be my wife!

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Barbie's POV

"Bealocwealm hafað fréone frecan forth onsended
giedd sculon singan gléomenn sorgiende
on Meduselde þæt he ma no wære
his dryhtne dyrest and mæga deorost.
Bealo…"

Eowyn's words had ended abruptly as Theodred's grave had been shut, as if they had been choked off by the same stone that shut away the sunlight from his pale, lifeless face. We had been woken early in the morning by Eowyn, who looked like she had been crying…poor girl.

I was straightening myself out, trying to make myself presentable for the funeral. We were all going to carry our weapons, in honor of the fallen warrior. Emily even had one, a long, very beautiful sword that had no edge, but she said it had something to do with the peaceful duties of an ambassadress. Personally I think it's because the elves didn't rust her with Sharp Pointy Objects, but that's beside the point. ( Pun definitely intended)

We all assembled in the hall…thing, where Theodred's body was on a stretcher type thing, laid "in state" as I suppose you would put it. A prayer was said, and then the pallbearers began to bear his body outside to the grave, slowly, very slowly. And all the people…literally hundreds of them, men, women and children, all in black, lining the path to the grave.

Many of the women were crying, as were all of the children, though I don't think all of them comprehended what was going on. Even some of the men were crying, bowing their heads as the body was carried past, covering their faces with their hands. Hey, I was crying and I hadn't even known him. I'm not sure why, my heart seemed to ache along with the people, though I sure wasn't from Rohan.

And…King Theoden just looked blank, as if this were some sort of nightmare from which he hoped to wake. The sharp, stinging wind whipped his blondish white hair away from his face, and sent a collective shiver through the gathering as it whistled over the plains.

Rohan was an austere country, and it seemed to be reflected in his strongly carved features, lined forehead and icy blue eyes. When at last we reached the grave, and Eowyn began to sing, an odd light dawned in those eyes, as if he had finally understood…this was no nightmare.

Soon after her song ended, the people gradually began to disperse, and we made our slooow (Why is everything slow here?) way back to Meduselde. Eowyn was crying really hard, and Aragorn was gently supporting her back.

"He doesn't know what kind of ditch he's digging for himself." I remarked to no one in particular. I got a few odd looks, but no one said anything. Gimli and Legolas arguing…again.

"Now, if this had been a Dwarvish funeral." Gimli said " There would have been a proper beat of drums and some real singing." He began to hum some odd sort of chant.

"If they died I'd assume it was only to escape your voice." Legolas muttered " And who has drums at a funeral? It's most inappropriate"

"Inappropriate? It's an ancient Dwarvish tradition. It's a great sign of respect, the longer they play, the more important the dead person was."

"Five minutes should suffice at your funeral." At this remark, Gimli looked ready to whip out his famous axe, and Legolas was poised to grab one of his knives. I walked right up to them.

"This is not the time for fighting you fools!" I said, and whacked them with my bow, getting Legolas around the knees and Gimli around…his waist? Then I heard them laughing. I turned around.

"What's so funny?" I asked, annoyed.

"You looked exactly like Gandalf when he was reproving Merry or Pippin!" Legolas said.

"Instead of a staff it was a bow this time, but the expression was the same!" Gimli said. I couldn't believe they were laughing.

"This is a funeral for Valar's sake!" I sputtered, looking around at all the people. Legolas looked flummoxed for a moment, was he to stop laughing, or was he to stop pretending to be sad at the death of someone he knew nothing about? I think the "for Valar's sake" brought about the desired effect, and he stopped. Gimli did also, very gradually, and he kept sending amused glances my way.

I can't believe I just hit Legolas." I thought, "That's odd, I feel no sorrow at hitting Gimli. I suppose that's because he has all that ridiculous armor on. Ha ha. That expression on their faces was great though. Go the Istari look."

"Hey Barb, what are you thinking about?" Emily's voice abruptly cut into my thoughts, she had been walking right beside by me and I hadn't noticed. "You're not feeling bad about Theodred's death are you? I mean, if you are you can tell me."

To my credit, I did not laugh, but merely walked rapidly away, leaving a once again chuckling Gimli to explain.

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Emily's POV

I walked around in a daze for the rest of the night, I could not think clearly to save my life. During the funeral all I could think of was the fact that I was engaged to Boromir of Gondor. ( I can't believe that I just wrote that!)

Now the ring that he gave me had a totally different meaning to me, he had slipped it off and back on after I had said yes. He had slowly replaced it with a kiss that sent thrills running up and down my back. And no, I am not going to recount every single detail to you so you can go "Oh that's so hot!" I am not that kind of girl, and besides it's personal.

I hadn't told Barbie yet, we had to go to the burial first, and this hardly seems like the best moment. I can still hardly believe it! He wants to marry me! He loves me! I cannot get over the wonderful awesome perfectly marvelous fact that he loves me!

And I am going to marry him!

This prefect man, so noble and brave in so many ways that I cannot even count them and I will be his wife! Even as I think of this I look across the room and watch him in conversation with Theoden. Boromir and Theodred had been friends over the years and Boromir was doing his best to bring comfort to the stricken King.

A cold northern wind is whipping over the plains and chills everyone to the very bone. I hate Rohan for this alone, it is freezing cold! The barren landscape and dead grass combined with the icy wind made me long for the warm humid atmosphere of Lothlorien. Well, if a certain Gondorian man was there as well.

That night as the men were having a council of war in the main room and we girls were curling up in our room. I felt horrible for Eowyn though because she had just buried her cousin and had to share a room with us besides. Poor thing!

I scooched over to where Barbie lay in a heap of furs. "Barb! Barb? Are you asleep?"

"Not now you idiot!" she hissed sleepily.

"I need to talk to you."

"Now? What time is it? Like 10:00! It's hideously late!"

And it was for Middle Earth standards, I guess that's why Eowyn had finally fallen asleep.

"Look Barbie, I really, really need to talk to you. It's very important!"

She gave a long drawn out sigh and said "If this about a broken finger nail I will absolutely kill you!" She rolled over and peered out at me from under a thick fur from a…a I don't know what kind of animal it had been, but not one we're familiar with.

"What would you say if I told you that I was going to erm…..ere…you now."

"If you were to what?" she asked her eyes falling shut again.

I shook the lump that made up her body and said "If I were to marry Boromir?"

"If you woke me up for a prank I shall probably kill you tomorrow morning as soon as I am possessed of enough energy to rouse myself." She disappeared under the fur and I had to drag the whole thing off her to wake her up.

"Hey! Give that back it's cold!" she hissed trying not to waken Eowyn.

I held it away, just out of her reach and she was too sleepy or lazy to get up and get herself. "Barb, you not listening to what I am saying! What if I was to marry Boromir of Gondor?"

"I would say, Goody for you, dearest. Now give me back my blanket before I strangle you!" she reached out and stopped halfway, "What did you just say?"

I rolled my eyes and repeated "I am going to marry Boromir!"

"Okay, your going to marry Boromir, can I have some concrete proof? Most decent people are asleep at this hour and my brain is …" she waved her hand ineffectually.

"I don't have any proof beyond the fact that I am now wearing his ring on my left ring finger instead of the right." I said waving my hand under her nose. Her eyes got big and her mouth moved for a while before she finally managed to squeeze out some actual words.

"This…is…not…happening." she said.

But it was!

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Emily's Later that Night POV

"So you won't go back?"

"No, I have to stay, the Lady instructed me to remain with you." he said stubbornly.

I sighed and sat down on the cold stone steps, Haldir was not going back to Lothlorien on the reasons I set forth. He refused to go just because I said so and I don't blame him. Who was I after all compared to him? He was immortal, and I was a human; he had thousands of years of experience and I had twenty five.

I knew we would live out the ordeal of Helm's Deep, but I wasn't so sure about him, I mean hey, if he died in the movies maybe he would die in the real life thing. I knew that I had to get him out of there whatever the cost.

"Marchwarden, I am not as wise as the Lady of course we both know that, but I do know something she does not. Lothlorien and Caras Galadhon will be attacked in a few days time. There will be just enough time for you, and your guard to return and defend it, if you leave tomorrow at first light."

"How do you know this?" he asked, he was pacing, and I hoped that I had gotten the desired effect out of him.

"Because in my world you and all of this.." I waved my hand around to include the surrounding country side. "...is a story and I know a great deal about what will happen. In fact I shouldn't have told you this but you wouldn't listen to me any other way."

He considered me for a moment ads if trying to decided whether or not to believe me. Then he spoke slowly and with finality, "If you know what will happen then why are you so desperate to hurry me away from here?"

He stared at me in that weird I-am-reading-your-thoughts-way. Then he sighed in frustration.

"You are getting better at hiding your thoughts, and I cannot read your fears, anymore." (Go me! does happy dance)

"Look, in our world you die at the battle of Helm's Deep and cause grief to many and I can't in good conscience allow you to risk your life needlessly. Especially when the elves will need you in Lothlorien." I said, I watched his face closely as I told him this, because it isn't everyday that an immortal being is warned he's going to die.

So many expressions flitted across his handsome face and a flash of pain showed in his eyes as I said the would die. I had however struck the right cord when I had spoken of the elves who would need his leadership in his beloved home land.

"What happens in Lothlorien?" he asks suddenly. "Does it fall?"

"No, it survives, but you may not if you remain here. If Galadriel is mad about your return then you can blame me. I doubt she'll be mad though because she needs your support and I don't think that she's anxious to have you dead." I laughed at little and laid a hand on his shoulder and said "Besides I am sure she is very fond of you, her favorite Marchwarden."

"I am her only Marchwarden." he said dryly.

"Same difference, now I have to go and tomorrow I expect you to let Aragorn know you are leaving for Caras Galadhon." I walked back up the stairs and just as I was about go in when he called to me and said "May I wish you every happiness Lady Emily in your coming marriage."

I whirled and put my hands on my hips, he smiled back one of his brief and brilliant smiles. "Your mental guards aren't always perfect you know."

"Goodnight ya big jerk!" I said and as the door swung shut behind me I heard him laugh.

The Next Morning

I am afraid that I slept through the whole argument between Theoden and Aragorn . After breakfast I wandered outside looking for Boromir and Barbie when I heard Háma make his big announcement.

"By order of the King, the city must empty. We make for the refuge of Helm's Deep. Do not burden yourself with treasures. Take only what provisions you need."

Barbie, (Who had come up by this time.) leaned over and whisperingly added "Yes and that does included clean underwear."

I couldn't help myself, I laughed, which was rather tactless considering what was going on with all the people running around in panic. Gandalf, and Aragorn where over near the stables and I heard Gandalf complaining to the future King.

"Helm's Deep! They flee to the mountains when they should stand and fight. Who will defend them if not their King?"

I hurried after them because this was one of my favorite parts.

"He is only doing what he thinks is best for his people. Helm's Deep has saved them in the past." said Aragorn as he ran alongside the newly white wizard. For a tall man he had to move pretty quickly to keep up with the irate Mithrandir ( Oh yeah! I spelled that right the first time!)

"There is no way out of that ravine. Théoden is walking into a trap. He thinks he's leading them into safety. What they'll get is a massacre. Théoden has a strong will, but I fear for him. I fear for the survival of Rohan." Gandalf paused and looked deep into Aragorn's eyes. "He will need you before the end, Aragorn. The people of Rohan will need you. Their defenses have to hold."

And I saw Aragorn stand a little straighter and lift his shaggy head higher and he said "They will hold."

Gandalf patted the side of Shadowfax's head and said "The gray pilgrim, that's what they used to call me. Three hundred lives of men I have walked this earth and now I have no time. With luck my search will not be in vain. Look to my coming at first light on the fifth day. At dawn, look to the east."

"Go!" Aragorn said, and Gandalf burst out of the stables and far out across the plain in search of Eomer.

Priceless!

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Barbie's POV

Welcome to the life of a wandering warrior. Or…warrioress, however they spell that. I spend a few days recuperating after being dragged around by orcs, then scared out of my wits by a stampede of horses andnow we were going to Helms Deep. People were scurrying around like ants over an ant mound that had just been kicked, getting provisions, grabbing weapons.

My packing was relatively easy, since my backpack had been disappeared around the time I was captured by the orcs, so while I had to borrow Emily's hairbrush and stuff, I didn't have to carry anything. Well, almost. We all had to carry something, so I randomly grabbed one of the packs that were lying around.

"Em," I said, as she gathered her things together " You know what this means, right?"

"You mean we're basically walking into a deathtrap hoping that Eomer shows up in time?" she answered, slinging her backpack over her shoulder.

"Uh-huh." I said cheerfully. Around half an hour later, the hall was beginning to empty, and I was looking around for Boromir, since we rode together. ( I mean, Emily could have rode with him, but she had Pigeon. And I still could not get over the fact that she was engaged to this dude. I mean, she had bloodied his nose the first time they met, he had then accidentally smacked her on the back when she was injured…how exactly did this endear them to one another?)

I heard him before I saw him, since everyone around here was taller then I was. He was speaking with Aragorn.

"I cannot believe this is truly the decision of King Théoden. Long have I known him, and to run in the face of danger was never his way. You, as well as I, saw what Gandalf did for him. But I cannot help but believe that some of Sauraman's poison lingers behind. Why else would he make such a foolhardy choice?"

I couldn't hear Aragorn's reply, but I sure saw what happened next! Eowyn came out of nowhere, glaring up at Boromir like just like a queen, her eyes glittering with anger.

"How dare you question the decision of the King!" she said " He is a courageous man, but he is not willing to let all of his people die in a fruitless attempt to stave back Saruman's army. Helms Deep has, and will protect us now, as it has many times."

"I agree, Helms Deep is a fortress hard-won, but Saruman is no fool." Boromir shot back, apparently having no compunction about arguing with her. "He will not waste his thousands in hurling them against your walls. He knows that such attempts have failed in the past. No, he will not do that but rather, he will begin to pick the men off, one by one, burning gates and using ladders to reach the main force, and then what? His forces will swarm in, thousands of them. It will be a slaughter, and all the valiance of your men will mean nothing!"

"We are no fools to know nothing of his strategy." Eowyn returned, her voice growing harsh "Our people have had to endure his ravages many a time, and did Gondor ever think of us? No! They were content to allow us to be the wall that Saruman hurled his orcs and Easterlings upon, devastating our people, ravaging the countryside. Helms Deep will stand, with or without the help of the Steward's son!"

At this last reference to his father, and Gondor, Boromir's face grew dangerously calm, but his eyes were now burning just as brightly as the furious girl who faced him now.

"You may be grateful that the Steward's son stands with you, in the knowledge that there is at least one man who does not hide when danger shows, and who knows at least when to stand and fight rather then flee behind walls!"

Eowyn's face grew even whiter than before, and they looked as if they would happily begin to try and kill each other, but Aragorn stepped between them, his own voice stern and commanding.

"This is no time for fighting amongst ourselves, the King has ordered us to Helms Deep, and we have no time to delay." he said, looking from one to the other "This is just what Saruman would wish, and you are both merely doing exactly what he could hope for. Boromir, we are going to be moving out in very soon, so I suggest you ready yourself, rather than arguing."

Wow! Talk about a show of Kingly authority Aragorn! Wouldn't Elrond be proud? Boromir still looked angry, and he and Eowyn exchanged a look that definitely meant "We will finish this later" but he left. Aragorn also left, leaving me and Eowyn alone.

"He is quite a man isn't he?" I said, shaking my head in amazement. Oops! Wrong-wrong-wrong thing to say around her! Bad Barbie, bad, bad Barbie.

"I've never seen anyone quite like him." Eowyn said, following his figure through the crowd of scurrying people. Now who's a cute little lovesick Rohanian? You are! Then another, more terrifying thought struck me.

If she married Faramir eventually…then she and Boromir… brother and sister-in-law?

"Eru protect us!" I ejaculated, and I wasn't talking about Helms Deep.

O Lord! Helms Deep!

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Super Special Announcement!

Snodgrass here! Now everyone in the next chapter we will be requiring a lot of OC's for the women and men of Rohan and maybe even a few elven warriorssessssssss. The first person to review will be the one to win the really , really special prize, it is and here I quote "The first person to review will be written in the story as Haldir's shweet-heart!"

Everyone will have an OC so no fighting, we promise to make it really good for all of you. Let us know if you wish to die a heroic death or not, however if we have too many heroic deaths we reserve the right to cut a few, sorry we have to be fair. Also, let us know if you wish to be a man or a woman, we will pick out your names and let you know who you are in the reviewer replies at the head of the next chapter.

Let the reviews begin!

Love,

Snodgrass and Winkle