"HORSEY! I get the horsey!" Courtney ran to the brightly coloured horse on the carousel. With a helpful hoist from Mom, she sat proud on the horse, saying "Princess!"
She put her son on the white horse next to his sister. As the carousel went round, she thought back to the first time she met him. It was on a carousel like this. They had both wanted the same horse, but he let her ride it and he rode next to her. They talked. They laughed. They fell in love.
But that was a long time ago. Before he entered West Point. Before he became a Captain. Before the Army became his long time love that refused to let go. She looked at her daughter and thought back to the day that she told him they were having a child.
He was just about ready to be discharged from the Army after his four years. He didn't feel the Army life was well suited for children and college certainly wasn't, so they waited. Waited until he was out of the Army before starting a family, and yet, when she told him, he stood up and sighed. He'd stay in. The benefits, he now felt, were too great to let go and join the civilian world.
He never regretted his decision. He loved his family and the Army kept them fed and clothed and housed. He knew that maybe civilian life would be easier. After all, he wouldn't get deployed. He may make more money, but he wanted a secure life for his wife and kids. The civilian world couldn't offer him that. He told her he'd take less pay as an Officer in the Army if it could provide them stability.
She never said no.
She was, despite days where she missed him terribly, supportive of his decision and knew he was right. They couldn't be given a better life in the civilian world.
But now, as she and the kids enjoyed their day at the park, she missed him. She wanted him to be there; to experience the carousel and the sunshine with her and the kids. She wanted him to see how much Joey looked like him.
She held her sleeping son and thought about the day he was born. He couldn't be there. He was training for his upcoming deployment. Silently, she cursed the Army. He had missed both of his children's births because the Army, his mistress, had him somewhere else. He'd never seen Joey except for pictures. He never held his son or kissed his cheek. How much he's missing. She thought as she listened to her daughter laugh on the swing. He's got too much to catch up on and not time to ever catch completely up.