A Rocker's Tale
Jude
How can this be happening? He leans in… and there it was… the kiss. How? I've already broken up with Speed. Tommy is gone… Darius is considering firing me because I was drunk on camera… Jamie is dating my Sister… why am I doing this… I needed to do something or I'd die. But not this. Why the heck did I kiss Speed again? I see him back away. "What's wrong?" He asks. "Dunno." I reply. "Probably just have a lot on my mind." I lean in again but he backs up like he's concerned. "Like what?" he says and cocks his head like he's confused. I shrugged "Tommy, my sister, the whole "Mom left us for her boyfriend thing." "Harsh…" He says with a little sympathy. He leans in again. So do I. I lean back out. "I'm sorry," I say quietly. "For what?" He asks. I lean back in for a second and reply. "Just for letting us break up in the first place." "I doesn't matter anymore. That was us making that decision. I'm to blame to." I sit back a little less tensely. " I had a lot on my mind and felt a little nervous about something bad happening with us too." I sit back up. "But that was stupid of me, I should of know we are meant to be a we." "Well I have to admit I wasn't the most romantic guy in the world and I could of led you on to think that." Now he sits up to. I laugh. "Well I did sort of miss you so called romantic dates at tag football practice then go to McDonalds for dinner." He laughed to. "I promise not to screw up this time." I lean back in "Okay."
Its been almost two days since the kiss and Speed is really trying harder on his romance skills. He hasn't took me to McDonalds once and sticks to strictly make out sessions not a body slam or high five. Now I'm waiting for him in our tour bus. He decorated it with candles and Black roses. In the background my second album played. Then the door opened. It was Speed as I suspected. "Sorry I'm late." He said in his soft and scratchy voice. "It's okay." I said leaning forward a inching closer to his lips again. "It's totally okay." Then the door opened to see Jamie walk in. "Jude, I was wondering if- um- hi, Speed." He started backing up. "Jamie," Speed said trying to stop him. I was sort of relived by this because I wasn't sure how he'd react. "It's alright just, um, what were you going to ask?" Jamie breathed in. "I was wondering if you knew where Speed was but- uh- now I know so-" "Jamie," I said stopping him this time. "Why'd you need him?" "I was wondering if he had his guitar with him. I have a G-major demo today and I broke my string." "Here." Speed picked up the guitar and handed it to Jamie. "No guitar smashing again okay?" "Sure-um, I better go." He dashed out the door. "Thanks." We laughed and continued to make out again. "Come on," I said softly. I grabbed his hand and brought him to my the bedroom. I dug under my bed and found our last tours band photo album. "Your not going to torture me with a review of the chili eating contest are you?" He joked. ""It crossed my mind but sadly no." I replied. " Next time try to use the spoon instead of you face." "Well how was I supposed to know the chili was just made." He laughed. Becoming back on focus I flipped to the picture of our second night on tour. We were playing "Truth or dare" and the guys dare us to kiss. That was the picture. As a joke, the guys used lipstick to draw a heart over it. "Now its for real." He said after a long pause. "Ya. It is."
At about five we decided to sit on the couch and just talk. He told me how much he missed me when I left. I told him about my nervous breakdown and how I had to leave. Before I knew it I was lying on his lap and crying about what happened. Everything. All my secrets reveled. The weird thing is, I felt so calm telling him. I knew I could trust him. For once I saw the soft side of Speed. He listened and stroked my hair and I blurted out everything I've bottled inside. He let me lay there and cry. He let me lay there sobbing into his jeans. I finally sat up and looked at the navy wet spot on the denim. "Sorry." I sniffled. "It's alright. Everything will be alright." He right into my eyes as he said it as if it was a promise. I sat up and leaned in. He followed. This happened for nearly 20 minutes straight occasionally one of us leaned out to take a breath. Then before I knew it, I was on the bed waiting, in nothing but a bra. Not once did I think What am I doing? Or Is this the right thing to do? But instead I knew it was right. I just knew it. The sad part was never had I done it with Speed. Never.
For the next hour or two the sex went on. Not once did a thought of badness cross my mind. Occasionally I'd let out a moan of pleasure. Not guilty pleasure, pleasure, no resentment whatsoever. This was pleasure. Finally I put on one of his T-shirts and got up. He put on his boxers and we both stepped out of the room. That's when they came. All of the guys were there stepping in through the door. They and we both stood there in shock. Finally one of the guys broke the silence. "Uh-hi." He started. "Um the people who'll be loading up our stuff will be here in an hour." I can't believe that it's already 7:00. I forgot we were leaving today. "You should go change, I'll deal with the guys." Speed told me. I agreed and walked in to the bedroom to find some pajama's or something. I heard Speed explaining what happened to the guys. I was glad he left out the whole breakdown thing.
When I got out Speed whispered in my ear how they took it well and actually laughed about it and called us "The perfect couple" I felt sort of bad I wasn't there to help explain it. They didn't even know we were together yet.