AnnamariahWe have to forgo the cookies. We simply have no info during that scene, beside (Snodgrass leans forward and whispers in Annamariah's ear) It's over done! Keep reading!

Chicky PooBarbara comes back into her own in this chapter so don't feel too badly. I think everyone has a moment when they break down. Poor darling. Keep Reading!

Nolitari (Not signed in) : We frankly love the e-mail alerts they are so wonderful! And we're glad to see you love them as well. Congratulations on graduating, it has a liberating feeling doesn't it? Keep reading.

Princess SiaraOkay, I fall to the bait, what kind of character? If you say elven warrior I will kill you! Not really but I will feel like it!

Ty-Kwan-Do We love it when the readers love the story so much that they jump around and their siblings think their crazy, it gives us a warm fuzzy feeling inside. As for Hadrien, keep reading!

Primevera TookI trust that we will deserve Rosie's cakes and we have been busy writing, writing, writing! Keep reading, and reviewing of course. I am so thrilled you like each chapter enough to continue the supply of food.

Fk306 animelover : Gum in your hair? ( Snodgrass hides his wavy blond hair under a grey cap.) You poor dear, I seriously hope that doesn't happen to you again. If it does we always have my family's bodyguards around to beat them up for you! Keep reading.

PlainAndSimpleYes, bad Barbara, not finishing the Return of the King, how could anyone do that? Donuts and milk are always a very good bribe I think (munches happily)

Eruanna92 : Why thank you girl of few words! Keep reading!

AthrunZallaLover Yes the chapter is longer then the others. And the confusion is to show the confusion that results from a battle. I am glad, in a sense, that you felt that way! I am sorry to say that neither of your names ring a bell. Maybe I just forgot? And who was it that you were going to blow up? I feel confused.

Erasuithiel : Yes if the chapter was too poetic for you. I love reading your reviews for the eloquence that they (pale fingers of morning) so funny and (blond beautiful maiden) I have to stop the eloquence monster is attacking me! (Snodgrass waves a fly swatter threateningly and the monster disappears into corner) Keep reading!

Siriusly Sirius Lily BlackEveryone seems so against us killing you that I am afraid you must live….for now. (Smiles evilly at his own reflection) It goes to show you how much you are loved. I sorry that this chapter made you see all those horrible things but that is war. I have a frined in Iraq now and I am always afraid we'll find out he was killed. War is horrible, but Emily and Barbara always bounce back, don't worry.

chelseypudgeOh yeah, we got it! We got it! I knew it! I knew it! Keep reading!

Pancake : After a while they do have a ….sameness about them. Some of them I find very dark, but some are great. I always wanted to know what Strawberry fizz tasted like. Hum! We've read the C.S Lewis books or at least I have, and we just read "A wrinkle in Time " out loud to the family. We loved it! I've heard good things about the Zahn books too. We love long reviews so don't feel bad, and we're thrilled you love Hadrien so much!

Princess Siara (Again) : Winkle says that he would rather have one of those bright green desk lamps with those glass shades. E always fall for bribes.

AraelMoonchildWrong with Emily? Whatever do you mean? More donuts! Yippee! Keep reading!

Nolitari (Again) : This is the first time we have had more then one review from the same person! I mean, in this chapter we've had three reviews from one person, but I mean, you're the other one to do the same thing! No, we didn't write the quote, Tolkien did, but it is beautiful and soul stirring. (Snodgrass puts a shoes sole in a bowl and stirs it around) We want plushies! We want Haldir and Legolas!

Princess Siara ( Again, Again) : You have the tenacity of a lobster don't you? We don't often leave people hanging like this so here is you chapter, now be a good girl!

Elvin BlueEyes About the calling Legolas thing, pretty much. When we got your review it was just in time for us to post so your lucky to make it girl! Review sooner dear or we may miss you next time.

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Chapter 29

A Piece of the Action

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Barb's POV.

This was "The Big Battle"

This was Pelennor fields.

I was there.

And so far, I had not killed a single thing.

I know that sounds a macabre thing to say, but after awhile, you recall battles by how many orcs you had dispatched, or Easterlings you disposed of.

I can still remember, at Moria I had gotten eight, and one that was iffy. When the Uruk Hai showed up at the river, I got five. When the Riders of Rohan showed up, none, because an orc had swiped my bow. At Helms Deep, I got nineteen and a goblin. It doesn't sound like much when you write it down, but actually those are pretty good figures, if I do say so myself.

And I do.

But here I was, wandering towards Minas Tirith through carcass covering battlegrounds, wondering what to do. My arm was tired after carrying "my" sword for so long, and I sheathed it. The Dead had literally swept through the ranks of orcs, Oliphaunts, etc, leaving me nothing to do.

"If only I had my bow." I said with frustration. In all honesty, I hadn't used a sword since Moria, and it was pure luck I survived there. So I was more used to long range combat than knife to knife, shoulder to shoulder, breathing down your neck fighting. But now, I didn't even have the chance to try it out!

Not looking where I was going, I tripped over a spear haft that was stuck in the ground. I wondered what hapless solider had done that ( yeah, kill the ground, keep stabbing there Smith) and then I mentally kicked the solider as I landed on a huge, bloody corpse of an orc. It looked like someone had taken a cleaver and played connect-the-dots up and down his chest.

"Ugh." I muttered, but I seemed to be growing used to this sort of thing lately.

As I was hurriedly extricating myself, and brushing at my armor, I noticed something strange. I bent down to look closer at the orc. He was your standard, run-of-the-mill orc…except for his eyes. Wide and unseeing, they were a clear, sky blue. Not the ugly rheumy yellow or dull black of most, but actually beautiful.

"What the-" I thought.

And as I investigated the grimy battlefield, I found the same thing everywhere. This orc had blue eyes too, this one had those cat-green shade, the other a delicate grey. In every other way they were the disgusting, repulsive creatures that killed and hurt everything I loved most.

But it was as if, after death, something changed. I knew where orcs had come from, and most of these were descendants of what used to be elves. And that now, a chain had been snapped, showing what these might have been, but for evil. And showing that in the end…evil did not always win.

I felt like I should say something poetic and moving at that time, but the only poem that came to mind wasn't very appropriate. It ran something like, and I recited it aloud.

I love little pussy

Her coat is so warm,

And if I don't tease her

She'll do me no harm

So I'll stroke her and pat her

And feed her with food

And pussy will love me

Because I am good.

"Amen." a voice proclaimed reverently.

I jumped about a mile, and looked around like a frightened seagull.

"Who's that?" I said.

"Behind you." the disembodied voice said politely.

I turned around, and saw what has to be the tallest person I had ever seen in my entire life. This man wasn't Shaq-size, Shaq would have looked small next to him. He wore beautiful silver armor, and if you don't think armor can be beautiful, think again. He didn't wear a helmet, and his hair was pulled away from his face in a neat braid. His eyes were a bright grey, and he had a strong, patrician nose that made him look like a kindly hawk. And oddly, his ears had the precise upsweep of an elves, and they came to a delicate, elven point.

"Oh. Hi." I said, more in surprise than anything, and held out my hand. The hand that shook mine was long, and deceivingly thin looking. My hand barely escaped alive from his agonizing handshake. I don't think he meant to though, because he smiled; a thoughtful, pleased smile as if to say "Why, isn't this a nice place to meet such charming, gore-splattered, sword-wielding maiden."

"Hello." he said "I hope I didn't interrupt you earlier."

"No, no you didn't." I said, and felt a little silly "My…eulogy was quite over thank you. It was, to, uh, honor the fallen dead. All of them I mean. I'm Barbara Paul, and I've been basically wandering around here, I've never been to Minas Tirith."

I desperately wanted to know who this man was, but I didn't ask his name, purely out of stubbornness. Looking back on that now, I could kill myself for not realizing sooner, but hey, I was only sixteen.

"Paul.

"What?"

"Paul. It seems to be an odd second name for a girl." He looked serious, as if considering this quite an important matter. I seized my opportunity.

"Well, what's your name? I bet it's a lot weirder than mine." He drew himself up- as if he could go up any further- and said gravely

"I am Prince Imrahil of Dol Amroth, and I dare you to say that Imrahil is an unsuitable name."

"Ah-haaaaaa." I managed "Ahhh-ahha. That was- a mistake. A very leetle mhistake." (Note; that was not a typo. That is me and my German accent.)

"Ah." Prince Imrahil looked vaguely confused at this sudden accent switch, but he covered it by looking intensely somber.

I was bamboozled. I had not finished ROTK, but Emily had told me all about this elf/man guy, and I had skipped to all the parts involving him. I thought he rocked, and hated the fact that he had no screen time. This guy was the leader of the Swan Knights, the super cool Swan Knights with a super cool banner, who lived in a super cool seaside resort.

"Did you say a seaside resort?" Imrahil said, and looked at me quizzically. Mentally I cursed every single mind reading elf, or even men with elven blood who did this? Mentally? Mistake! Mistake! Oo naughty girl, oo bad mistake!

"Are you reading my mind?" I asked bluntly. I resolved to kick him on the shins if he said yes. Imrahil stepped back.

"Yes, I'm afraid it's sort of a habit." he said apologetically, and then incredibly, added "Do you need a lift?"

"What?" I said incredulously. Imrahil laughed lightly, as if at me, but he did it with such good humor it was hard to stay angry with him.

"I'm sorry, I simply find your vocabulary…very singular."

"Singular? You're the one that's singular.' I said indignantly "You have ears like an elf, but you're a man. You and your knights have come to help capital of Men-dom, yet you can read minds like an elf."

Imrahil shrugged off what I thought was quite a compelling argument. "Perhaps, but I think we should probably be heading back to Minas Tirith. We can continue this debate later. Coming?"

He held out his hand, and reluctantly I took it. I didn't want my hand to be completely smashed by the time we reached the city. Thankfully, this time he did not crush it.

"Are you reading my mind?" I asked nervously as we began the long trek towards the city.

"No." he said.

"Yes, you are, I can tell."

"I am not."

"Promise you aren't?"

"I already told you I'm not."

"Pinky-promise?"

"Absolutely not."

"Why not?"

"I don't have to answer that question.

"That's a dodge."

"No, it isn't."

"Yes, it is."

Silence. Then, pleadingly

"You really aren't?"

Pause.

"Ohhh…maybe."

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Emily's POV

"Get out of my way! Come on move it people!" I fought and clawed my way around the barricade of bodies that choked the street. The people were rushing by me in terrified brunches away from something…bet I know what it is!

Just as I came to the marketplace an unnatural wind literally gushed into the streets with a piercing whistle and mass cry rang as the Dead Army swirled around the city in a pitiless slaughter of Gondor's enemies.

I was knocked flat by them as they surged passed in search of more prey. I was seized around the waist and looked up into the face of (wait just a second did he even have a face?) a Dead solider. He stood me on my feet and said, "Beg your pardon my Lady."

"Hey, don't mention it." I answered, he smiled (ghastly) and with that he was gone.

I still can't get over it, I was knocked down and helped up by a member of the Dead Army! This was freaking not supposed to happen!

Omigosh, I just used the word "freaking" that's not like me at all!

Argh! and I used the expression "Oh my gosh" without spelling it out properly! And did you know that if you write "oh my gosh" in the abbreviated form then the spell check will try and fix it with the word amigos.

Sorry, I have to get back to the story in hand. Once the Dead Army went through then it was pretty much over. As I raced to the wall I saw the last oliphunt being taken down by a misty green shadow, awesome!

The harbor was filled with the black sailed corsair ships and I knew that if everything had gone as the books and movie said then Aragorn, Boromir, Barbara and Legolas and Gimli would be aboard. I also knew that if everything went according to book that they wouldn't get to the city for several long hours yet.

As I turned away I was crushed in a frantic hug from a screaming and crying Melba and Felicity.

"We won! We won! We're saved!" they screamed and for once I threw normality to the wind.

"Yeah we won! We're alive! Take that Sauron evil dark lord scum! We won!" I yelled. We danced around for a few minutes as the cheers spread throughout the ruined and crumbling city. You have no idea what it felt like to be alive!

But our victory dance was short lived because we came down to earth with the realization that we had a lot of soldiers that needed help and fast.

"We have to get back to Ioreth, there's going to be a lot of causalities." I said and dragged the other to girls with me.

"I have to go to the kitchen to prepare food." said Felicity and with a squeeze around our shoulders she nonchalantly skipped off jumping over orc corpses and other nastys. Melba was a little more timid about moving over bodies and so it took us more time to get to the Healing Houses.

The scene there was nothing short of horrific, if you want to know why think about the weapons that the orcs and trolls were using and use your imagination. I'd never seen a disemboweled man before. I had never held the hand of a man as his other arm was amputated to save his life. I had never held a man as he died.

But I did that day.

As evening drew on rumor spread that Lord Boromir had returned and I was surprised to see the effect this had on the people. They brightened up immediately and soldiers cheered on their dying mates to "Wait, the Captain's back!" And the soldiers all braced themselves as if energized. More then anything I wanted to see him alive and well, I knew that shock was setting in and I needed someone to lean on.

Even as we worked there was a hugely happy underlying feeling through us all. We had won, against odds way bigger then Helm's Deep had been, we had won!

A gentle touch on my arm and a quiet voice saying, "Ma'am we have one here who knows you."

I turned to find Ioreth, covered in blood, at my elbow. "Who is it?" I asked afraid to know. I mean it was my worst nightmare for someone I really know well to die.

"He's not dying Ma'am but he won't let us tend him. Could you come and speak to him?" She jerked her gray head in the general direction. I saw a badly beaten young man in Rohirric livery and pushing away the gentle hands of a tearful Kessla.

The poor girl was in near tears as the young man carefully and firmly told her that he wanted her to scram.

I went up behind him and said, "Why Hadrien! How kind of you to willingly allow that sweet and emotional girl to treat your grievous wounds! I stressed every important word while looked into his exhausted eyes.

"My Lady! I glad to see you alive and well, but I must go to the aid of my men." he said, his words slurring slightly.

"Hadrien, I know that your are Rohirric by birth but your mother was Gondorian and by that authority I order you to sit yourself down and let us take care of you. The other men will be treated by the other healers and doctors, having you collapse from exhaustion will do no one any good. NOW SIT! I yelled.

He sat.

"I am so tired." he sighed. Timidly Kessla offered him a cup of water and he took it saying, "I hope you understand that I wasn't angry with you miss, just worried for my men."

"That's all right, I understand. Lord Boromir was always the same way after a battle." she smiled.

"Did you tend him after a battle?" I asked, this was a new thought. I guess I always assumed that Boromir had never been around women before. I suppose that I, like a lot of fan girl's, though he never left the army or training grounds.

I felt really stupid, as if Boromir had never seen a women before. Not that I was jealous of another women caring for him, not at all…it was just that…

I was insanely jealous of other women tending to my husband!

Okay, I'm fine now. I just needed to get that out of my system. And I really would like a big glass of Diet Coke right now.

"My Lady?" Hadrien asked. I blinked and realized that I was holding his hand in a death grip. I released it and said, "Sorry Hadrien, now you be a good boy and let Kessla take care of you. I'll go and see if I can find anything out about your men."

Night was falling around the city as I went through it stepping over rabble and dead orcs. That was weird, I mean, to have no feelings whatsoever when passing the body of a dead thing. It was the lulling feeling of security that made me so calm, with all the big huge men of Rohan and Gondor now moving about the city in a fairly calm way give a peaceful atmosphere to everyone.

So when I was completely bowled over by a short, fat hairy thing and caught by a tall, slender thing, I was rather taken aback.

"Lass! You've no idea how glad we are to see you!" Gimli choked out. He squeezed me tight and smiled up through glistening tears that streamed down into his beard. Legolas righted me and said, "Indeed Emily, we were deeply worried for your safety. Have you seen your husband?"

"No, is he here?" I asked hopefully. Legolas's brow furrowed as he shook his head, "Not since entering the city a few hours ago. As soon as he received news of his father's death and his brother's illness he went to the Houses of Healing."

"I just gave from there! I missed him? Crap. I'll see you two later." I said and gave the a quick hug each and hightailed it to the Healing Houses.

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Barb's POV.

By the time we reached the city, the sun was falling lower, and lower into the horizon. I was not particularly tired, but I was absolutely ravenous.

"I am absolutely ravenous." I said.

"And seeking what you may devour?" Imrahil put in.

I sighed, and ignored him. I had found that you could not argue with him, because he always had a good answer. You could not cajole or plead with him, because then he would simply ignore you.

It seemed odd, but though he was friendly, apparently did not resent my insistence that he not read my mind, he simply did not talk much. He did hum, and that drove me minorly insane while I was trying to talk to him.

The only subject that drew him out was when I asked him what it was like to be uncle to Boromir and Faramir. And, for protection of those who are NOT innocent "coughBoromircoughFaramircough" but who can wield some serious sword, I will not record his answer here. It just wouldn't be nice to Bori, especially after he dragged me from the skulls in Dimholt.

What he said is this, and it is a very loose translation.

"Bzz, energetic, bzz, bzz, something about a sword training session, bzz, bzz, bzz, sneaking up from the left, bzz, bzz, bzz, two against one, bzz, bzz, bzz, impromptu wrestling match, bzz, bzz. Bzz, bzz, bzz. Bori, bloody nose, Fari's fault, Fari crying, complete accident. Bzz, bzz, mother's fury knows no bounds, bzz. Me, black eye. BZZ, BZZ, BZZ!"

As I said, a very loose translation.

The gate was completely destroyed. Not only had to been smashed with Grond, it had trampled by thousands of amour clad bad guys, Oliphuants, someone had tried to burn it (?) you get the picture. Even the part of the arch had been knocked away, probably by one of the oliphuants.

"Looks like Gimli's going to have a job on his hands." I said, skittering through the rubble. I was able to hop through the ruins, like those fat, prehistoric mice things they show you in "Science" textbooks ( yes, that's right Galadriel, you descended from a fat prehistoric rat!)

Imrahil was able to simply wade through it all, without getting any deeper than his knees. I resent tall people.

"Terribly sorry, I can't help it." he said.

"I bet you can, you just don't want to-ugh!" I was suddenly enveloped in a hug, which had to have had murderous intentions. I was also being held about six inches off the ground.

"Dearest-fairest-Boromir put me down I can't breath!" I squeaked.

"Sorry." he said, and set me down on a big piece of rubble. I felt like he was inventorying me, like a can of soup, as in "Oh, goody, Campbell's is still alive, Ramen Noodle's is intact, very good indeed."

What followed was the usual round of "What ho, my dearestest nephew, I find it pleasantest that thou art still alive!" and "the same to you, my revered uncle, still showing off that amour I see!" Why couldn't they just say "yo, dog, it's freakin cool to see you again, let's go visit the royal digs for some eats."

No, they would say something like " Why tally here, let us off to the castle".

Which is exactly what we did in the end. Note; it is rather hard to learn of your daddio is dead, because every single Tom, Dick or Harry refer's to you as the Steward, or "my lord Steward"

Oh, and we're forgetting the part where the Warden of the Houses of Healing rushes up, saying something about your younger brother dying, and that it's your daddy's fault…oops, you didn't know?"

"What?" Boromir exploded, and the Warden jumped. He was like a tall, skinny, scared looking hare, long grey robes drooping from his limbs.

"We're doing all we can, he's in the room up the stairs-" Boromir was already running, and the Warden shouted after him "THIRD DOOR ON THE RIGHT! THE RIGHT!"

"Come on." Imrahil said, pulling me along with him "Didn't you hear him? Third door on the right!"

I am quite sure that my arm was pulled quite out of it's socket by the time we reached the top of the stone staircase. I was beginning to think that Imrahil had many good intentions, he just never thought about those shorter than himself. Did you Imrahil? No, I didn't think so.

However, before any of us reached Faramir's sickbed, we met a minor roadblock. It came in the bloodstained dress, dark braids wildly askew shape of my sister, Emily. She looked like she had been through World War three, but this did not apparently deter Boromir, who crushed her in one of his signature, bone smashing embraces, but this one was accompanied by a deep kiss. As in; deeeeeep.

"Hurrah!" Imrahil cheered "Bravo! Hurray!"

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Prince Imrahil's POV

I stood there amazed that this but then Boromir rushed off leaving a dazed and red faced young woman behind him. Behind me the two Half Elves Elrohir and Elladan appeared. They had seen everything and smirked knowingly.

I must admit that I am quite pleased to see my nephew has finally married, but my thoughts are spoiled by the girl, Barbara, saying, "Why does that never happen to me?" In a whining voice.

Before any of us could move Elrohir winked and said, "If you don't mind." and swept her back and kissed her quite thoroughly and soundly to the shock of everyone in the room, including his brother.

I was beginning to think the girl might need some air when the elf pulled away. However in true dramatic fashion that she would have described as "funky" Barbara fainted dead away onto the floor.

Elladan kicked Elrohir in the leg and picked the girl up saying, "You idiot! Look what you did to her!"

I must say that she appeared to be perfectly fine to me. Prince Legolas shooed them both away with threats of impalement for their actions. I believe he said this because he, like everyone else, has trouble telling them apart. The twins sulked off with Gimli poking at them with his axe.

"Keep it goin' ya rogues!" he brawled. Legolas patted Barbara's hands and slapped her face lightly. Since this wasn't working he called her name a little, she blinked and sat up shouting,

"I've been kissed by an elf! I've been kissed by an elf, bring the disinfectant, get some hot water, get some iodine!"

"There, there you're all right now." Legolas soothed. She pushed him away and stood up a bright blush on her cheeks. I could see that this was not only a humiliating experience for her, she seemed…upset. As if something had been stolen from her.

Elrohir, very unwisely, appeared around the corner and said, "I am so sorry Barbara. I…" he leapt back as she hurled herself at him fists flying. Legolas and I made a grab for her and hauled the struggling creature back.

"Let me hit him ! Please let me hit him! He stole my first kiss from me without asking!" she said. "He assaulted me!"

"Barbara, I cannot allow you to do the same thing to Lord Elrohir." I said. She snorted and said, "Let me hit him! He deserves it!"

"I said no!" I thundered, "You cannot hit him, you are a young lady!"

I handed her over the Prince Legolas and turned to Elrohir, "However, I am not!" And I without hesitation slammed my fist into his shocked elven face.

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Emily's POV

"Do you think he'll be alright?" I asked, bending over the unconscious form of Elrohir Halfelven.

"I dare say he will." Legolas commented dryly. "It may take him a bit longer to heal, since he isn't full blood elf, but I seriously doubt he will have anything so much as a bruise."

"Too bad." Barbara said. I shot her a look and she said, "What?"

"Aren't you ashamed of yourself? Honestly making such a to-do about it."

'To do about?" she shrieked "He stole my first kiss! He just…took it!"

"Well, he seemed to do a pretty good job of it, with you fainting away." I smirked. She blushed red and said, "Marchwarden!"

"Never mind then." I said hastily. Legolas snickered and Elrohir moaned. Barbara jumped up and said, "Aha! The thief awakes!"

"God no!" Elrohir groaned and rolled upright. He fingered his jaw and winced. Legolas said, "Now aren't you ashamed of yourself Elrohir! Look at that poor young woman, she's broken hearted."

Barbara didn't look broken hearted, she looked at once triumphant and murderous in the same glance.

"That's right," she declared, "You have broken my poor maidenly heart."

"I was only trying to make you feel better." He said.

"Make me feel better! I want to be kissed by someone who loves me! Not someone whose…oh what the word?"

"Stupid?" Gimli suggested hopefully, "Dumb? Silly, Rude? A rogue and scoundrel? And an elf?"

"Yes." Barbara said. I felt horrible for poor Elrohir, I mean what if he did like Barbara? It would be pretty hard on the poor dear if he loved her and she as much said she didn't love him. Gosh, this is turning into a sappy movie!

"Tell me Marsha do you love me? John asked breathlessly. The lovely woman shook her head and said, "I never can John, my heart belong to another."

"I should have known, you never loved me, you were always in love with Roger wouldn't you?"

"May I inquire as to who is Roger?" Prince Imrahil asked pleasantly. He flexed his huge hand slowly and smiled down at Elrohir.

I smiled back at my uncle-in-law, Barbie had told me about his habit of reading minds. Even though it was a bit annoying at times he seemed to do it more by accident then anything else. Beside he was so amiable about it no one cared.

I was about to answer when a maid came and told us that we were needed. Aragorn was healing Faramir and Boromir wanted me there. Barbara And I took off leaving the dazed Elrohir in the care of Legolas and Imrahil.

I heard later that Gimli had cornered Elladan somewhere thinking he was Elrohir. The poor elf escaped after wrestling the dwarf to the ground and running for his life.

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Special Request : It has been long a concern that many of you wanted OC's and we have never given you one. For those of you who asked and never had one please let us know and we will fix it for you in the next few chapters. We cannot have a horde of elven warriors because there was almost none at the last battle, so please have mercy.

Those of you who have had an OC need not, indeed, should not apply! Love Snodgrass, Winkle and Co.