One More Try by Betty Bokor
Sam/Daniel. Daniel has a heartbreaking secret and needs to share it with Sam.
Spoilers: All seasons, including 9 and 10.
Disclaimer: The Stargate original characters belong to MGM/Showtime, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Film Corp. This was written strictly for the purpose of entertainment. No attempt at copyright infringement has been made.

One More Try

Chapter 5

"So," Jack said after they had walked for a while. "What's really going on between Carter and you?"

"Exactly what we told you."

"Come on, Daniel. You don't expect me to believe that, do you?"

"I don't expect anything, Jack. That's the way things are."

"Oh, for crying out loud, Daniel. You want me to believe that Carter is willing to throw her career down the drain just because she wants to be a mommy?"

Daniel shook his head in disbelief. "She's not throwing away anything. She still has a career; she has many different opportunities to choose from. She's only leaving SG-1 –and we're both sorry about that–, because, yes, she wants to be a mother, and," he added, stopping to look at Jack's eyes, "you'd probably be the father if you weren't so obtuse."

"Thank you," Jack said full of sarcasm.

"I mean it, Jack. She's been waiting all these years for you to take the first step. She just doesn't think it's feasible anymore. Too much has happened in the last years."

"Let's keep walking," Jack asked. As soon as they started their walk again, he added, "I've thought about Carter a lot during these years, Daniel, but you're right, I never went beyond the flirting."

"Why?" Daniel asked in a tone that suggested there was no logical explanation he would accept.

"Because… Let me tell you a story, well, something like a story. Do you remember when I was stranded in Edora?"

"Yes; Sam was going insane trying to find a way to get you back."

"Well, while I was there, Laira –you remember her, right?"

"Yes, I do." Daniel said.

"Laira wanted to have another child, and she… she asked me to help her. We had this thing going on, this mutual attraction, and I though, why not."

"So, you helped her?"

"Yep."

"Did she get pregnant?"

"I don't know."

"You don't know? And you never went back to find out?"

"No."

"Wow… Why? Again, I don't understand you. Why wouldn't you want to know if you a have a son or a daughter living somewhere on another planet?"

"My point exactly," Jack interjected.

"Excuse me?"

"On another planet. That's the point. I don't think I could have gotten over the fact that I had a child, and gotten to know him, love him as much as I loved Charlie, and then, have to leave him there with who knows what chances to see him again. It would have been like loosing Charlie all over again."

"If you don't mind me saying, Jack, that's pretty cowardly."

"Maybe, but I believe that was the best for everybody."

"And what does that have to do with Sam? She's not on another planet."

"But she wanted a family, children, a little house on the prairie, the whole nine yards. You've proven it."

"So you let her down because you were afraid of suffering," Daniel stated more than asked.

"Stop judging me, Daniel. You haven't risked much in that area either, have you? Sha're has been dead for what now, five, six years? You haven't really tried at another relationship because you too are afraid of going through the same pain of losing." Daniel did not answer, so Jack kept going, "You know, come to think about it, the only woman that has been a constant in your life all these years has been Sam. Are you sure you didn't have some hidden feelings for her all along?"

"Look, Jack, I… I won't deny that I consider Sam a very attractive woman. Besides, she's extraordinarily bright, and that's even more attractive to me. She's been amazing me since the very first day, but the relationship between us has always been more sibling-like. Whenever any thoughts in another direction came to my mind, I got rid of them immediately."

"Aha. You've had that kind of thoughts," Jack pointed out.

"I'm pretty sure every man at the SGC has. At the beginning, it made me feel guilty about how that was a betrayal to Sha're, and, later, to you."

"Ah… The plot thickens. You've had those thoughts more than once. Why didn't you do anything about them?"

"They weren't serious enough to consider," Daniel said dismissively. "Besides, I told you, Jack; I could see how you felt about her. I couldn't have betrayed you. The only time I did do something about it, was when you found me on Vis Uban."

"You did? I didn't know. What did you do?"

"You have to understand, Jack. I didn't remember anything, not even my name. I had no idea how much I cared about all of you. But when I saw Sam, I felt all these feelings hitting me at once."

"What did you do? Tell me."

"I asked her if there had ever been anything between us."

"And she said…"

"No, of course. She just said we had been really good friends. Then, I started remembering and I took her answer as a cue."

"But the feelings were still there."

"They were, just milder, friendly feelings,"

"Why don't you do something about them now?"

"Even if I thought there was any chance with Sam, which I don't, it's too late. I can't start a relationship now that I know I'm going to end it abruptly and soon. It wouldn't be fair for Sam. It's not like I'm dying of love for her." Jack winced and Daniel added, "Bad choice of words, though you get the meaning. I'm not madly in love with her, Jack. I just love her, and I'm content with things as they are. Besides, she has no feelings of that kind toward me, either."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes." He paused very shortly and added, "We should be going back; we have to call Teal'c and Cam to see if they'd like to go out to dinner with us. I'll tell you about what else is bothering Sam on our way back."

Jack thought that was a rather sudden change of subject, but decided to let it go, for a while.

The rest of the weekend passed smoothly. Daniel's friends were keenly aware that this was probably one of the last chances they would have to spend some normal time with him. They could foresee what the future would bring when his sickness worsened. They were thankful that he was willing to spend his time with them.

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