Winkle and Snodgrass sit at their desks and read over the next chapter they're about to post. Snodgrass is biting his nails and sniggering quietly. Every once in a while Winkle looks up and opens his mouth but always changes his mind.

Suddenly Snodgrass looks up and says, "Winkle, I have a joke for you."

"I'm not in the mood." Winkle replies grumbling.

"Oh come on, it will make you feel better." Snodgrass wheedles. Winkle rolls his eyes and says, "Fine, go ahead! But if it's stupid I will absolutely strangle you."

"Okay,." Snodgrass says. "Knock, Knock!"

"Who's there?"

"Jonas the interrupting cow!"

"Jonas the inter.."

"MOOOO!" Snodgrass says rudely and dissolves into fits of hysterical giggling. Winkle smiles slightly, sets down his pen and stands up.

"Wasn't that funny?" Snodgrass gasps.

"Not as funny as watching you die!" Winkle says and tackles Snodgrass. As the two grapple and roll into furniture as they wrestle, the computer up-dates the chapter.

crazyroninchic : We thought it was about time for the wee cute little hobbit to appear. We're so glad you liked that part.


Slayer3 : I am glad you liked the chapter. I am, however, afraid to ask what "IMSGSET" means. I will do so, because I am so perfect!

Ty-Kwan-DoI've never had a punk friend before! Do you all have multiple piecings? I told Emily what you said about the quote, and she was so flattered. She has an inferiority complex because she thinks that her sister is a better writer then she is. I'm not you know.

Winkle : Which is probably true."

Snodgrass: That's a horrible thing to say! So soak your head and stop reading over my shoulder!

Fk306 animeloverThe female dealing with the Swan Knight was Barbie. I think her choice of using her title threw some people off. Barbie is known as the Dark Lady of Rohan. Thanks for reading! Whenever we write your name on the Microsoft Word program it wants to change it to "animalize." Curious no?

Princess Siara I figured you weren't that much of a fan but you know we had to make someone like that! I like that you put them into the story now. I find myself doing the same thing. I'm like, "That can't happen! Emily was there!" Too weird.

PlainAndSimpleI like your name so much, it's so plain and simple. Have you ever read Lemony Snicket's Vile Village? You should, then burning at the stake would take on new meaning! I tell you what, waiting in Gondor sucks! They don't have any TV or anything. And we're eating the donuts even as I type! The crumbs are getting in the keys and I can't wirte ayhintyg rgiht!

Primevera TookI hope you like your OC as much as we do! But shame on you for swearing! If you have noticed, there is not one swear word in this lengthy Fic. Bad girl! Bad girl! Now give me that cake! Go review and we might forgive you!

AthrunZallaLover : Here you go! Thanks for reviewing!

chelseypudgeI love your review, concise and to the point! The point being of course that we are perfect writers and you adore us! What could be better?

AraelMoonchildThe herald is…disturbed. Hey, they can't all be perfect. And we are always glad to see our reviewers so totally blown away that they can't think of anything to say! Keep reading!

Siriusly Sirius Lily Black : From your name I would think that you like the Harry Potter books? (Snodgrass spits out the taste of those words) Who died? Not that I would know who you meant. I'm just seeing if you read the book yet. And yes girls always say the thing opposite to what they mean! Our characters are deep and real, because they are real! Keep reading!

Archimedes-FactotumMedieval dresses rule! Not that I know because I am clothed in leggings and tunic (Snodgrass preens in front of the mirror) But I am glad you want to see the next chapter so much. Welcome to the fold of new readers! Proud Writers since 2004 December Second!

Annamariah I thought that fact (Barbie in a skirt) would get lost somewhere along the way, But yes. The girls were raised in a modern day family that wears only skirts! Not the men though, they wear pants. Yes. Here comes the Black Gate!

Elvin Blue EyesDon't be glad for Emily yet! Boromir may die in the last battle! And yes, be sorry for the poor likkle hobbits! If you were a man raised in a time when women never wore pants then the sight of one would probably be kind of startling! I liked their reaction though, "Preserve the maiden's modesty always!"

Eruanna92: When we got your review we were so jealous! We want the ROTK EE! But we can't because…well, never mind. And I think the end of this fic is nearing! And Oscars? Who cares about them?

Princess Siara Again! Yes, you do have to wear dresses in Middle Earth! I cannot stress this too much my minion! ( Snodgrass grins evilly) Sorry we missed you!

FallenTruthIs FANTALOUS a real word? …never mind I'm not coherent right now… I always try to reply like your review…and I wonder…if you…can notice the trend …I'm setting…? Keep …reading!

Chicky PooEr…I don't mean to be curious or rude but who is Rebecca? Do you mean Barbie? I thought so. Dory rules by the way. "I'm going to P. Sherman 42 Wallaby Way Sidney!" Here's your up date!

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Chapter Thirty Two

Concluding Negotiations

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Barbie's POV

The sky was a brooding mass of black and orange clouds. White-blue lightening flashed continually, and the sun never showed his face. The fortress and mountains of Mordor reared black and threatening on the horizon, and a sense of Impending Doom hung over us all…

Most of us anyway.

"No, no, no and no! I've said it once, it was completely impossible for your grandfather to have killed that elf by-"

"Of course you don't want to admit it!" Gimli shot back at Legolas "You don't want to admit that elves aren't perfect. I'm sure you would die if someone actually-"

"But no one did, and no one ever killed an elf using-"

"Quiet!" Eomer exploded finally.

Legolas and Gimli were once again at their favorite activity, arguing. The entire atmosphere was of tense, half-dreaded anticipation of the coming battle, and Legolas and Gimli seemed to be ignoring that.

"He couldn't have anyway." Legolas whispered.

"He did." Gimli muttered

"If you keep insisting on this ridiculous idea, I have a good mind to-"

Legolas's sentence ended in an undignified squeak. Gimli, who was naturally riding with him on Arod, had poked him in the stomach with one, gauntleted fist.

"My grandfather would never lie, and if you don't think that an elf could die that way, I could just try it on you!"

"Shut up!" I hissed furiously, was Eomer's eyes began to glow in a dangerous way, and his hands tightened on his reins "I don't think anyone's in the mood for you guys to be fighting."

"We're not." Legolas said, having recovered himself.

"You are."

"Aren't."

"You were."

"Was not."

"Hitler also only did what he thought was good."

"Who?"

"What?"

"Be quiet!"

We- which here means me, Legolas and Gimli- all jumped in surprise. Eomer's face was pale and strained, and he took a few deep breaths. They whistled in and out between his clenched teeth.

"Why don't." he began, in a an unnaturally high, polite voice "You three ride elsewhere? I believe you have friends who are riding under King Elessar's banner. I'm sure-" his voice here took on a steely edge "they would be very happy and pleased indeed to see all of you there."

We could take a hint.

"We just leaving." I said, and added, in lower tones to Legolas and Gimli "Why would we want to stay here and get killed before we even reach the Black Gate?"

Gimli started to laugh, and swiftly covered it with a cough. Legolas urged Arod to go faster. The white horse sulkily obeyed. The horses resented every step we took closer to Mordor, and it did nothing for the morale of the men.

"Come on Jackie." I coaxed, trying to urge him on faster "You don't want Eomer to smite my head from off my shoulders do you?"

Jackie Chan wriggled under his saddle, but obeyed. I was lucky. Some men actually had to abandon their horses because the animals simply refused to go on. They just dug their feet into the swampy ground and stopped. And I knew why, too.

The Nazgul were hunting us.

Even as we jostled through the Rohirrim to reach the Gondorian ranks, I knew they were there. It wasn't that I looked up and said "Woohoo chaps, some threatening black thingamabobs are wheeling overhead! I think it's Nazgul!"

It was just a…feeling. The kind where you turn around, sure you heard something…and nothing is there. The shadows with nothing to cast them. Of course, the men tried to ignore them, but the horses had no reputation to uphold.

Man: "I must uphold my reputation of bravery and fight for my darling wife and sixteen adorable children, whom I love!"

Horse: "Ack! Scary black wraiths trying to get me! RUN AWAY BLACK BEAUTY, RUN AWAY NOW!"

"Now that we can talk without fearing for our lives." I began.

"Actually, we still should fear for our lives." Legolas remarked cheerfully

"Now that Eomer is not around to kill us" I said, trying to be patient

"Though there are many others who would also do so." Gimli threw in.

"Now that we have as much a chance as we ever will, can you guys please tell me exactly how Gimli's grandfather killed that elf?"

"He did not kill that elf!" Legolas came closer to shouting than I have ever heard him.

"How did his grandfather supposedly kill that elf?"

"There isn't any maybe about it!" Gimli gritted out angrily.

"Just tell me, please!" I begged pathetically.

"Well…" Gimli looked at Legolas, and then leaned as close to me as he could. "It went like this…"

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Sam's POV

"Come on Mr. Frodo we're getting closer now. Come on." I try to encourage but my words are harsh and grating in my dry mouth. I swallow but my tongue feels like sandpaper against the roof of my mouth.

"I can't go on anymore today Sam." Frodo gasps. I sink down beside him a little relief coming over me as I rest. Even in this barren wasteland there is a little comfort in the sandy ground.

"He's looking for me Sam." Frodo says and I take his blistered palm in my own. He would weep but the land has dried any tears we have left.

"I'll go look for water, there has to some even here." I mutter and drag myself up again. Frodo huddles under a rocky cleft and tries to sleep.

The rocks are unbelievably sharp here, I've never seen such rocks in all my life. But then again I'd never left the Shire either. If I had to make the choice over again I'm not sure if I would have come at all.

A strangled cough comes from my master and I could kick myself. Of course I would have come. I could never have left Frodo's side. This was my task and if I couldn't do this little things then there was no one who was going to do it for me.

I found water, brownish and stale, but it was water and wonderfully cool to my lips. I drank my fill and filled the little bag for Frodo, he would need it even more then I would.

He is tossing and turning in his sleep when I get back. It's kinder to wake him and give him the water then to let him dwell in dreams of the eye. He gratefully gulps the water down and sighs.

"We have to reach it soon Sam. I can't go on much farther." He says.

"Of course you can. We'll go together. Gandalf wouldn't have let us come if we wouldn't be able to get there." I say.

Frodo looks at me, his bright blue eyes standing out against his dirty face, "I'm sorry I brought you into this Sam. I'm sorry."

I don't know what to say to comfort him, not now.

I feel so useless.

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Emily's POV

We have succeeded in getting Eowyn back into bed the first day and the second, but by the third day I was ready to give up and let history take its' course. I admit this much, I was in the room when they met and I did see Faramir totally fall for Eowyn, but I promised him that I would never reveal how silly and besotted he looked when he saw her.

But like I said, I promised I wouldn't tell.

On the fourth days of the army's absence the Warden came in search of me. I had spent some little time with the old duffer the last few days and found he was quite nice. His real name was Galen and he had lived in Minas Tirith all his life. Apparently he and Ioreth had a long standing feud about who was the better healer. I'm telling you now it was Galen because when…

Well, now. I'm getting a little ahead of myself aren't I? Anyway Galen came to me and handed me a letter.

"What's this?" I asked. I looked at the folded paper for a moment and saw the black seal of the steward.

"It's a letter from his lordship the Steward." Galen answered, "Lord Boromir." he said helpfully, as if I didn't know who he was talking about!

I opened the letter and stared at the handwriting before laughing a little. It was in pure Westron and I couldn't read a word.

"I fail to see what is so funny about a letter my lady." Galen sniffed. He shifted in his long grey robes and tapped a foot against the flagstones.

"It's not funny at all." I agreed, "I just can't read any of this. You see, we don't speak or write Westron where I come from."

"But you speak it rather well, if with a faint accent that I find quite charming." he said.

"Well, thank you but I still can't read this." I looked fro the letter to the Warden, "Would you mind reading this to me?"

The Warden looked aghast, as if I had asked him to run away and elope with me.

"My Lady, that is a private letter from his lordship to your ladyship. I wouldn't dream of invading your privacy!" he said.

"But I can't read it!" I said and waved the missive under his long nose, "Please!"

"Well," he looked around the room and seeing no one said, "Since you insist. But please tell no one."

"I won't." I said. As we settled on a bench I hoped Boromir hadn't written anything too personal or it may just kill off the poor dear Warden.

"Darling Wife," "the Warden began turning a delicate pink, "I have entrusted this letter to my faithful Warden knowing he will not fail to deliver it to you."

I wanted to say so much before we parted and yet there was simply no time. My dear love, if I should not return please carry on for Gondor.

The thought of never returning to you torments me, but I must prepare myself for the fact that I may have left you forever. Please know that I have treasured every moment we have spent together, and I thank you so much for your dear love. Every moment of battle, be we victorious or no, I will be fighting for you and the life I hope you live with you.

But should I fall to the hand of Sauron and his forces I will count it but a just payment for the joy you have given me. Oh my dear one, I can't tell you how your love will speed my blade and strengthen me. I could not have known when we met how I would come to care for you and how you would help me. For you have given me a reason to fight when all was hopeless.

Know that I love you, and every precious minute we have had.

Boromir, of Gondor

The Warden lowered the letter and handed me a handkerchief. As I blew my nose and scrubbed at the tears that were dripping down my cheeks, I noticed Galen make a quick motion with his hand to rid himself of any telltale tears.

"Thank you Warden." I said, I took the letter and looked at the words knowing they meant love to me. Galen cleared his throat and said, "It was nothing my lady."

"No, it meant a lot to me." I looked at him and minute and said, "Can I have a hug?"

Wordlessly the Warden enveloped me in his dear old arms, and let me cry on his shoulder. Like I said, he wasn't such a bad guy.

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Barbie's POV

In his right hand, the Mouth of Sauron held a wicked looking spiky staff.

In his left hand, he held a pathetically gleaming bundle of mithril chain mail.

And in his middle hand, he held the cloak of Invisibility, which is known for…

Scratch the last one.

"My master, Sauron the Great, bids you welcome."

I couldn't help snorting.

"If Sauron the "Great" wanted us to feel welcome, I think he sent the wrong person." I said mockingly, not even bothering to whisper.

The Mouth of Sauron turned slightly, sending hateful daggers my way with his pale, pale eyes. He turned back to face Gandalf.

"Is there any in this rout with authority to treat with me?" he said, disdainfully.

"We do not come to treat with Sauron, faithless and accursed." Gandalf's voice rang out, stern and righteous "Tell your master this: The armies of Mordor must disband. He is to depart these lands, never to return."

"Old Greybeard" The Mouth sneered openly, and was as about to make more smart remarks, but I couldn't resist the opportunity.

"You know, if you hadn't noticed." I pointed out "Gandalf's beard is white. That is why he is now known as Gandalf the White. But then, you probably see in black and grey."

I barely caught the mithril coat, as it smacked against my chest, and Jackie Chan shied nervously. The Mouth of Sauron had cast off all pretenses of "diplomacy" and snarled, black lips curling back from yellow teeth

"There is your token, fool!"

"Frodo!" Pippin cried out, frightened.

"Silence!" Gandalf ordered, but he could not conceal entirely how hard this had hit him- actually, though, I had been the one the mithril coat had…never mind.

"The Halfling was dear to you, I see." the Mouth of Sauron gloated, smiling a terrible smile "Know that he suffered greatly at the hands of his host. Who would've thought one so small could endure so much pain? And he did, Gandalf. He did."

"Did not, fathead." I muttered. I gathered the coat up in my hand and wondered what I could do with it. In the end, I just stuffed it into my saddlebag. It's not as if I could have worn it. Aragorn, his eyes taking on an odd, dangerous glitter, approached the Black Thing.

"And who is this?" ( Bobo the clown, who else would we send?) the Mouth asked "Isildur's heir? It takes more to make a king than a broken Elvish blade."'

I have to say, I believe when Aragorn comes to kingship, his strongest point will be the way he handles his enemies. Just that subtle, thoughtful, manipulative way he lifted that sword and decapitated the Mouth of Sauron was amazing.

"I guess that concludes negotiations." Gimli said in a subdued voice.

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Emily's POV

"And you came here how many years ago?" I asked.

The girl shook her head and said, "I've lived here all my life, my parents moved here from Rohan years and years ago."

"So you're Gondorian?" I went on.

"And proud of it!" She returned. We weren't walking along the walls, (Like I've done anything else since I got here!) We were in my rooms and going through the piles of dresses I now owned.

Lily was a seamstress and was helping me decide which gowns I wanted altered. I had discarded a lot of the heavy embroidered things that Finduilas seems to have favored. They lay in neat rows along the bed. I would never wear them, but I knew that they were priceless reminders to Faramir and Boromir. A the rest of the dresses hung above our heads on the closet bar. It groaned ominously every few minutes, but it held.

"Do you like this gown?" she asked. She held up a deep green velvet with a few gold highlights. It was more like something Eowyn would wear, but I nodded. It was one of the more simple gowns. I sighed and stretched a little, I was so tired!

"I never knew that picking out clothes could be such exhausting work!" I said.

"From what I've seen of your sister's clothing it's no wonder! Your own clothes are so lightly made! I declare they would never hold up very long." she prattled on. I liked her though.

She was rather short with curly blond hair and deep green eyes. I had found her with the help of the Warden and we had been holed up all afternoon with a bunch of dresses. I felt a hand patting my own and looked up to see her smiling encouragingly at me.

"I know it's hard. My betrothed is with them too." she brushed away a tear. "We're going to marry as soon as he returns, hopefully by then we won't have so much war to worry about."

'It's hard you know? To sit here worrying about clothes when the men are…out there." I said. We were just about to give to a real old fashioned crying fit when it happened.

There was a loud crack and suddenly all the dresses above in the closet fell on top of us. The ends of the bar gave us each a sound smack on the head. As we swam out of the heavy dresses I couldn't resist a giggle, I pulled a weighty wine colored thing off my noggin while a hat with a plume adorned Lily's head.

We were enjoying a good laugh when an icy wind suddenly rocked the very foundations of Gondor.

"It's an earthquake! Quick get outside!" I said and fairly dragged the smaller woman with me. We reached the balcony and heard cries and exclamations all over the city. But as suddenly as it had begun it was over.

A few large rocks came hurtling passed but by staying close the walls of the house we were alright.

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Nolitari Guard of the Steward's House POV,

After the fright of the earthquake I ran to see if the Lady was alright. I found her with the maid Lily. They both seemed fine but the Lady's eyes were focused on the sky.

Thick black clouds had come to cover the sun and the air was oppressive. Lady Emily was pale and her dark eyes stared out in grave concern.

"Something's happening. I know it." she said, "Lily, how many days have they been gone?"

"Why, seven my lady." Lily looked at the Lady as though she couldn't believe that she could have forgotten already.

"You there, what's your name?" the Lady asked next.

"Me, my lady?" I asked.

"Yes, yes. You what is your name?" she inquired hurriedly.

"Nolitari ma'am." I answered. For a moment she almost seemed to recognize it but surly not. I have never met the Lady before.

"How many days will it take them to return from Mordor?" she asked next. She twisted the ring on her finger around and around.

"Provided they aren't under attack and have a clear path, near another week I'd guess."

She stamped her foot and said, "Why must everything be so far away! I hate being trapped in Gondor!"

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Frodo's POV

I can't seem to reach the top of this mountain. I have been climbing it for lifetimes, but always the black peak stretches away, high and mocking. The clouds that wreath the peak have grown thicker, ashy greys, black, and the fiery orange that is the only color in Mordor.

And the Eye still watches…searches…the probing fingers always are pulling at me, seeking to push their way into my mind. I am losing the strength to push them away. I have nothing more to give. And now that I let myself realize, I just stop. I am numb to anything but the dull pleasure of not moving.

Sam, of course, is here again. He always sets me on my feet, pushes me onward. A hot wave of anger flares up, for a moment cutting through the apathy. I can't go on, doesn't he see? What does he know of the Eye, of bearing the Ring?

Then the anger fades, and I let his words simply flow over me. I don't understand them, strange words, foreign words.

"Do you remember…" his voice almost begs me to answer, as if this would somehow comfort him. There are those words, though, those words that hold no meaning.

"Nothing…I don't remember…just this. And the Ring, only the Ring."

Those last words come easiest to me, these are the thoughts that come easiest.

"Then let us be rid of It once and for all!" Sam says, harshly, and puts his arms around me "I can't carry It for you, but I can carry you. Come on!"

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Important Announcement! Calling all loyal readers and whoever less is lurking around in the corners!

We have just began another story in the Silmarillion section called, "The Man With Red Eyes!" Ooo creepy! Yes, and if you would all trot over there we'd love you even more then we do now, which is a lot!

We will be tying to two stories together in later chapters so you'll want to keep up! Of course, we can't tell you how we're going to do that So you'll have to read to find out!

Love,

Snodgrass and Winkle