Crazyroninchic: Ah, an artist. A noble profession! Mr. Snodgrass and I are honored with each offer we receive. We would appreciate it, if you could send us samples of your previous works ( our email is in our profile.) Thanks for your faithful reviewing!
Nolitari (Who never signs in): But you have signed in before! HAHAHAHA! WE HAVE YOU, WE….
Snodgrass trails off, looking embarrassed
Anyhow, thank you for your review, and I am sure that somewhere, Glorifindel is rejoicing that someone knows how to spell his name correctly. Wait a minute…you say I spelled that wrong…what the…never mind! Keep reading!
Laer4572: Ah, flattery, how we all enjoy it! And printing out the entire story, and with pictures will take massive amounts of ink, so be careful! Mr. Snodgrass and I are quite looking forward to seeing samples of the works of the various artists who have offered to illustrate the story. Lots of love, and keep reading!
Ty-Kwan-Do: AU means simply that you have added original characters, or messed around with the original plotline. Which means that all of those horrific Legolas torture fics ought to be labeled AU….or, as Mr. Snodgrass says G.A.R.B.A.G.E. Thanks for your charming review, they make our day! ( Winkle kisses her hand)
kaleidoscopic blueberry muffin The recitation scene was rather amusing. I do have to pity Emily though. I personally believe Boromir should have to do what Carlithirel Amarantha ( another reviewer) suggested. But since he's a man, I suppose they decided that he probably didn't need the advice. Keep reading, and thanks for being a reviewee! If that's a real word!
Luthien and Tari Oronar I'm sure Barbara is also probably glad that she's well! In fact, she's going to have lot going on soon, because…but then, that would be telling! If your little sister does not want to, that's fine. We love you anyway, and all of your kind reviews!
theycallmemary: Nope, this is not the end. Although, as you have suspected, it will be winding up fairly soon. And is Barbie getting married? I'm dashed if I know, Snodgrass never tells me anything!
Snodgrass: As if I knew anything! Stupid Winkle!
Winkle: Snodgrass! How did you get here?
Snodgrass: I don't know. How the devil do I ever get anywhere?
Fk306 animelover: Of course she's alive! Barbara's just too stubborn to be killed.
The Cap'n: Snodgrass Winkle & Co would love to see some of your work. Just email us a link to whatever page you have them on- although please, please email us. They don't work in a review. Although I don't know why ( Winkle pouts childishly)
Slayer3: You're a Nazgul! You don't have a name, you're just Nazgul number 3! AHHHH!
Winkle throws cold French fries at her. Snodgrass hits him with a rubber paperweight.
Snodgrass: You idiot! At least she reviews!
Princess Siara: Thank you! Thankyouthankyoutahnkyou for our chapter. Snodgrass is such an idiot sometimes! And I am sorry to say, we couldn't find your friend, or her pic anywhere on elfwood, you may have to email us a link. We are forever indebted to you!
Snodgrass and Winkle give her a rib crushing hug
Snodgrass taking over because Winkle just isn't up to all the reviews we got.
AnnamariahIf you want to go ahead and try you're welcome too. You're predictions are neat-o! but really! Poor Lindir! Keep reading!
PlainAndSimpleI've never even heard of those…stories? But we are not into everyone dying. We are both fully recovered thank God! And we like short noodle soup better then the ramen stuff. But thanks for the thought! Keep reading! See the announcement at the end of the chapter.
Primevera TookDarling if you want to draw them please see the announcement at the end of the chapter. As for the cakes? Nothing could disturb my cast-iron stomach! That is after a whole bottle of Tums went down! Keep reading!
Archimedes-FactotumWe liked quite a few of your drawings and paintings. See the announcement at the end of the chapter for specifics. Keep reading!
Siriusly Sirius Lily Black : Would you believe that those are actually vows from the Middle age….I mean Middle Earth? Well, they are. I suppose it wouldn't be embarrassing if everyone expected you to say them. I loved the whole throw back to the first chapter too. It was…homey somehow. Keep reading!
chelseypudgeWe want the next few to be longer. But thanks for liking even the short ones! Keep reading1
Carlithirel AmaranthaSo that's where I've heard it before! I'm a big fan of Enya, but don't tell anyone! We were crying with laughter over your review. I think a lot of people would agree with you. But if you check on the review response we gave kaleidoscopic blueberry muffin, you'll see that it probably wouldn't be necessary! Keep reading!
AraelMoonchild : I hope this is soon enough for you! I think we all breathed a sigh of relief when she woke up. I am actually a every good morning person. Winkle is like a concrete sheet. You can't move him until he's good and ready to wake up. Keep reading!
Eruanna92 : Short review! Keep reading!
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Chapter Thirty Six
Good Friends, A Crown and Rivendell
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Emily's POV
I walking through my house, (That doesn't sound weird!) and humming under my breath.
It was just after dinner and everything was settling down nicely. I had spent the day in the houses of healing with the hobbits. I wasn't allowed to see Frodo and Sam for the first week that they were there. However, each of us took the chance to see them as soon as Galen allowed.
"I'm blue da ba dee da ba die…" I sang.
I know, I know! It's totally corny, but I was wearing blue that day. My blue dress had become my favorite because it was the simplest dress that I owned. It's all very well to like fancy gowns and feel princess like but in reality they're itchy as…well, I can't use that word so I'll say this.
They were as itchy as a very itchy thing.
I found Boromir standing on the doorstep. He stood with his arms crossed over his chest in his usual fashion. I just stood there allowing myself to watch him, without him knowing I was there.
He and Faramir had gone and said a final good bye to their father. They had gone alone and returned quiet. I never learned what happened and I never asked. There are some things in life that are too private and I couldn't bring myself to invade their silence.
Boromir shifted a little and said, "You sneak around like Faramir did when he was little."
"I didn't want to disturb you." I said. Stood beside him and looked over the city. It was decked out in all kinds decorations for the coronation the next day. Far below in the fields of Pelennor the tents of Aragorn and all the visitors were spread like white sheets.
"Aragorn must be nervous." I said, "Are you? Big day and all for the family."
Boromir looked at me, "You talk as though it was ever so slightly boring to you. Does that have something to do with knowing all of us when we came to your home?"
"Yes, I don't know how many times I read about the coronation, and how Faramir brought the crown out of…" I stopped dead.
I had made a huge blunder. Boromir looked at me for a moment, his eyes searching mine. Then very quietly he said
"I died, didn't I? That's why you mentioned Faramir, because I didn't make it back to Gondor."
He said it very calmly as though he had thought long and hard on the subject. As though he had suspected all along.
"How did you know?" I finally asked. He shrugged in a deceivingly off handed manner. He didn't look at me.
"It was just the little things that you and Barbie said and did. At Amon Hen…I knew that Barbara was trying to protect me from something, keep me busy and talking. You didn't think you would see me after that." He looked at me, "Did you?"
"No." I admitted, "I didn't."
He took my ring hand in his and stroked the back of it a few times before asking, very quietly again, "How did I die?"
"Don't ask me Boromir! Please! I don't …I can't tell you. "I said. "I really, really couldn't."
"Please, I need to know." he asked, he cupped my face in his hands, "Emily, I need to understand it. All of it."
And so I told him. You can give me credit for leaving certain details out of the story. He already knew about Frodo…I just hinted a little bit. But he knew, no matter what I left out I think he knew. I cried, but just a teensy little bit when I described his death.
"Was I right to tell you?" I asked.
He sighed, and laughed a bit, "Yes,…yes. Because now I can be so glad that I'm alive. But if you ever make any jokes about 'Let's take a boat on the Audaine' I will spank you."
"Shall we start with a clean slate?" I asked.
"Let's shake to beginning the reign of Elessar with a perfect day!" he said. And like we had done, so many weeks ago, we shook hands, good friends.
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Barbie's POV
Scene: Frodo, lying on the biggest bed you have probably seen in your entire pathetic existence. Birds are singing, the sun is shining, and you know that this is Imladris, and the Last Homely Home. You sigh, and think what a pleasant thing is must be to find yourself sick there. Your typical fan girl is thinking along the lines of…Elladan and… Elrohir… Glorfindel. All of whom live there. Wow.
Aside from the fact that "homely" is the "last" thing that comes to mind when you are in Rivendell, nothing could have been farther from the gritty truth of the situation. No matter where you are, being sick is…not fun.
I stared down at the stuff in my bowl. Pale, watery, and smelled vaguely like stable feed.
"What is it?"
"Gruel." Elrond said, too cheerfully "I have found it the best food for recovering invalids."
"Yeah." I muttered, and picked up the spoon in my left hand "They get well just so they avoid this and those medicines."
Elrond looked at me for a long minute. He had a completely unreadable face, I had found. You could not tell if he were going to smile, yell, or start a brand-new company that sold collectible toothpicks.
"It isn't that bad." he said finally.
I couldn't tell if he were referring to the food, or his medicines. Probably the medicine. Which I assure you, is horrid.
I had survived Moria. Amon Hen. Helms Deep. The Paths of the Dead. Pelennor fields. Elrohir's kiss. The Last Battle. I could handle some soupy oatmeal.
"This is disgusting Elrond." I stated flatly, and put down my spoon.
"It is healthy." he informed me.
"Like tofu is healthy."
I enjoyed for a moment the look on Elrond's face. He didn't know what tofu was. He stood up, and said stiffly
"I hope you enjoy your meal."
Then he left the room.
I felt guilty, and ate my gruel, because it insisted on looking at me in a very condemning manner. It seemed to say Barbieeeee, heeeee savvvvved yourrrrr liffeeeee! You must eat meeeeeee to purify yourseeeeeelf.
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Emily's POV
You know, they lied to us. Both of them.
Tolkien and Jackson. Lied.
Because the coronation was nothing like the movie and not quite like the book. For one thing, Arwen wasn't there, she wasn't even close. Nope.
Another thing was the absence all around of elves of any kind. I mean, beside Legolas who was busy planting peoples gardens of all things! But he was the only elf at the coronation! I still can't believe that PJ could deceive us like that!
And the finally thing was the crown. It was not like the movie and certainly not like the book. As I stood beside Boromir I felt gibed somehow. I was supposed to know how everything happened! And here I didn't even know what the crown looked like!
In the book the crown was like the helmets of the soldiers, only taller with sea bird wings wrapped around it. Oh! and there were these little white jewels all around the crown. So imagine a crown taller and dorkier then the helmets of Gondor. Yep, that's what Tolkien said it looked like.
Thank God, he was wrong! Tolkien, I mean, not God.
In fact, I have never looked looking at any of the men in those dorky things. I have a personally vendetta with the designer, who ever he is.
Anyway, behind all the glamour of the jewels and gowns, swords and banners. We had to get up hours before dawn and array ourselves in the heaviest, most jewel bedecked, itchy clothes we could find. After arranging my too short hair into an almost amount of braids I was given my coronet to wear.
Now I had worn it before, but only for about fifteen minutes. Now, I was faced with wearing it for hours!
"You'll be lovely my lady!" Melba and Lily were my maids for the day and Siara was the one who had done my hair. I poked the braids.
"Is any of that false hair?" I asked. They looked at one another guiltily. "Well? Is it?"
Siara coughed and said, "No, my lady. Of course not."
I smiled frozenly at her in the mirror and said, "One of the things I love about you all is the fact that you're so honest."
Boromir swished into the room in full chain mail and a stunning black and silver tunic. He was magnificent! "Emily, we have to start for the …" he looked at my head and asked, "Is that all of your hair?"
"That's it girls, take it out! I won't have someone else's braids mixed with my own!" I said and rapidly pulled the pins out. Boromir burst out laughing and said he would wait outside.
Siara worked like lightening, a comb held between her teeth. She barked out instructions to the other two and in no time my hair was braided. I surveyed the effect and was rather pleased that it looked like it had on my wedding day.
"Perfect ladies!" I praised, "Thank you."
They fastened the coronet in place and pinned my, as I put it, stupid, overly heavy, crimson cloak on my shoulders. I was ready. Boromir beamed when he saw me and we went down to where the horses waited.
You would think we arrived in grand style, but we had to get there early and wait around for Aragorn's entourage to arrive. Eowyn and Faramir were making moo-moo eyes at each other while Imrahil kept an amused, but stern eye on them. As if they would start snogging in front of everyone! Really!
Imrahil tried to look serious on all other accounts, but that was a complete joke!
Legolas did look just like the movie only much, much handsomer. Gimli looked…well, like he always did. Hairy, and frizzier then thou! Gandalf never looked more wizardly then he did that morning, I was placed by him and told not to move. Boromir had to attend to the last few minute things that had to be done.
The area was choked with people and flowers, and people with flowers; and even flowers that looked vaguely like people. The mood was just like the crowd has before a big concert, barely contained excitement. Only we were not here to listen to Simon and Garfunkal sing. We were here to crown a king.
I already had a headache from the coronet.
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Barb's POV.
I slept a lot those first weeks. But gradually, I started to sense when anyone was in the room. You know, like Spidy sense! Actually, not like that. Despite the medicines, I had not developed any mutant qualities.
I had that feeling now. I opened my eyes, and found someone breathing into my face. I stared that them for a moment, and then screamed.
"Ah!"
Elladan jumped back, and looked sheepish. His hands were hidden behind his back.
"Sorry about that Barbara." he apologized, and added cheekily "At least you're awake. I've been waiting for the past age it seems, Atar didn't want me to wake you unnecessarily."
I sat up ( one of my great accomplishments, along with rolling over and playing dead).
"What are you doing in my room?"
"I brought you a present." Elladan said, and showed me what he had been hiding behind his back. It was long. It was gleaming. It was-
"A crutch?"
"Yes." Elladan said in a hurt tone of voice, and pointed to some elvish script carved down one side "It even has your name on it."
"I did that." Elrohir volunteered. He picked up one of the bottles of medicines, and began to cough. He wheezed desperately, and sneezed a few times. Elladan thumped him on the back.
"It's pretty." I said "Thanks guys. It's the, uh, nicest one I've ever had."
The only one I've ever had I wanted to add, but they looked so pleased I didn't have the heart.
"Though one would debate your need for a crutch, especially with these two around." said someone from doorway.
"Lindir." Elrohir began in a threatening voice "What are you doing here?"
Lindir leaned against the doorframe. He was a slender elf, and not very much like I had imagined him. His face was a pointy sort of face, and his hair was a whitish blond that can only be described as straw colored, and it appeared shaggy, as if he had hacked at it with a pair of pinking shears.. His eyes were a an indefinable hazel color, almost green, but not quite.
"I'm supposed to be playing for our dear lady here." he said, and drew himself up to his full medium height. "However, my whistle seems to have disappeared."
Elladan shifted uneasily
"I might have seen it around the stables." he muttered "Come on Elrohir, let's go look for it."
Elrohir gave the medicines one last hostile glance before he followed Elladan from the room. I looked at Lindir.
"I don't think you're going to be seeing your whistle again." I said apologetically. Lindir shrugged, and shlumped into the chair by the open window.
"Oh that doesn't matter much." he confessed airily "I can make a new one. I'm Lindir, the minstrel of Imladris. I was going to play for you, but I can just as well talk"
"I know who you are." I couldn't resist. I really couldn't.
Instead of looking surprised however, Lindir shot me an impish look. His eyes, I noticed, were even greener in the sunlight.
"I see my fame has spread abroad." he said, and leaned forward "Though you aren't from anywhere near here, are you?"
I felt unsettled. Unconsciously, I reached up to adjust glasses that hadn't been there since Lothlorien. When my brain caught up with my hand, I pretended to brush away a strand of hair.
"No, but you probably wouldn't believe me." I answered, and wondered suddenly why I was telling this relative stranger about this. Lindir seemed to catch this, and sat up a little.
"Yes, I will." he said persuasively, and added meekly "I'm quite tame, especially if I'm told a good story."
I smiled at him. I couldn't help it, not with the pathetic expression he was wearing. I sat up straighter- and winced as various parts of my body yelled at me for making them move.
"Well." I began, and decided I could tell the story lying down as well as sitting up "It's called Earth. Not Middle Earth. Just Earth, and if you want to believe evolutionists, it all began in a gigantic explosion."
"An explosion?" Lindir ejaculated the words incredulously
"Yeah." I rolled my eyes "But it really began with a glass of orange juice."
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Emily's POV
When Aragorn arrived, he did so with such a blare of trumpets and horns that I think the whole city shook. We all shouted and called out as he came forward, throwing flowers and petals. The energy was infectious!
People who hadn't smiled in weeks were grinning and nearly crying with happiness. It was like being at a Clay Aiken concert! But here came Aragorn towering over everyone around him, bare headed, Anduril swinging at his side. His face was excited, but a solemnity of what he was coming too showed plainly.
He had taken so long to come here, as king, that he was probably nervous as can be. And so the life of me I couldn't think of anything, but that corny Celine Dion song about a New Day. Lord! Save me from the schmaltziness of Celine Dion!
I can't remember just what Boromir said, or what Aragorn's answer was, it all went by in a blur. I remember seeing Gandalf take the crown and Boromir came back to stand by me. I won't say that Boromir was crying, but his eyes were very damp looking. Aragorn knelt and Gandalf raised the crown high so the sunlight danced across the metal.
All of the nobles (me too) lifted our own coronets and waited as Gandalf intoned, "Now come the days of the King. May they be blessed."
We lowered our coronets and I was crying I admit it. I feel so stupid sometimes. But just when I thought I couldn't have done anything more stupid my coronet started slipping off my head! It slipped slowly and surely off the back of my head.
"Boromir!" I hissed, "My coronet!"
He looked and quick as wink wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me back against him. The coronet was pushed forward by Boromir's hand, and I was saved much embarrassment. As Aragorn took his place above everyone he quirked an eyebrow at us and just the hint of a smile played over his face.
He looked out over his friends gathered close around him and smiled. "This day does not belong to one man...but to all." I looked over at Frodo and I mouthed the words, 'thank you.' He nodded, smiling that sad, weary smile. Beside him Sam looked fit to burst, he was having the time of his life. The sound of Aragorn's voice brought me back to reality.
"Let us together re-build this world...that we may share in the days of peace."
I held my breath as he began singing quietly and beautifully, "Et Eärello Endorenna utúlien...Sinome maruvan ar Hildinyar tenn' Ambar-metta!"
Then, that was about it.
There was no romantic reunion between Arwen and Aragorn, no great honoring of the hobbits, those were just in the movie. When Aragorn finished his song, Boromir proclaimed the kings name and we all bowed. Very subtlety I reached up and adjusted my coronet so it wouldn't end up on the ground.
Such is the life of a lady.
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Special Announcement!
This is to those of you who so kindly offered your drawing services!
We would love to see examples of all your drawings! As long as they aren't stick figures we'll probably want you all to do one. If there is a scene you have a fondness for in the story let us know. You think of one you think you could do and we may suggest one to you.
We can move on from there! Best wishes and orange soda pop all around!
Love,
Snodgrass, Winkle & Co.