And now we come to the end, which will focus exclusively on Shirou's neck of the woods and I try to answer any remaining issues while explaining why I did this in the most blunt way I can think of. Once again, onward!

CONCLUSION

A couple days later...

"I'm not gonna pull any punches here, Weaboo."

"As long as you don't try to force yourself on me or any of my peerage, that's fine, Issei." The Gremory heiress took secret pleasure in how Issei kept unconsciously rubbing his ass.

"Please. You're not developed enough. And as for the rest of your peerage," he looked at them and scoffed, "Jailbait is too young, Yandere is too unstable, and I'm straight, so the Emiya-wannabe and Dio are off the table." He pointedly ignored their responses. Then he looked down. "I made it up to the Cougar, if that makes you happy."

Despite herself, Rias smiled.

"If you can make sure we'll defeat Riser in the upcoming Rating Game, Issei, I'll consider us even," she said.

"Hey!" he protested. "That's not all on me, you know! You've got to put in maximum effort too, Weeb!"

"Don't think I don't know that, Issei. I don't plan on marrying Riser Phoenix anytime in the near or distant future. I also will need time to... properly express the full extent of my displeasure with my brother."

Issei couldn't resist a smirk. "And I'd love to stick it to the Chicken Boy, and seeing Zechs sweat is never a bad thing, so we both have a reason to want you and your gang to kick some ass, don't we?"

She looked at him, and for a second, she thought she could see the ghost of a smile beginning to form on his face.

"Yes," she said, throwing back her hair, "we most certainly do."

XXXXX

Meanwhile, back in another world...

I gulped, nearly dropping the plate of sweets I'd brought with me. Every fiber in my being was telling me that this was a bad idea, but the little Serafall on my shoulder kept egging me on as I approached the behemoth hovering over me.

What if this wasn't enough? What if this Ophis didn't like chocolates? What if...?

Whatever regrets I may have had, it was too late now, for soon, a flash of purple light-which also nearly made me drop my offerings-covered the sky, and a diminutive being stood before me.

Gulping, I pressed on and held out the candy...

XXXXX

"Shirou."

"Yes, Kaichou?"

"That's the Ouroboros Dragon."

"Yes, she is. Say hello, sweetie."

A grunt.

Sona sucked in her breath, then said, "Shirou, the Ouroboros Dragon-one of the most powerful beings in existence-is currently sitting in your lap, eating chocolate, and hugging a large dragon plushy." Her eyes narrowed. "And she's letting you pat her head."

She was correct about all those things. An adorable little girl dressed in light purple was indeed sitting in my lap, wolfing down the contents of a bowl of homemade chocolates placed in her lap with once hand while clutched in the other was a large black dragon plushy I had purchased along the way-and I was meticulously patting her head the entire time, never stopping for even a second. Her hair was so soft.

"Yes, you're right," I said.

"Shirou. WHY is-wait, I know the reason: none of this is real!" She stood up and pointed at us, a manic grin on her face and a wild look in her eyes as she said this.

"I'm dreaming!" she shrieked. "None of this is happening! Maybe if I pinch myself, I'll wake up and this madness will end!" She did so, but of course, nothing happened.

"Not hard enough!" she snapped. "Better do it again!"

As she kept pinching herself, yelping the entire time, I felt a gentle tap on my chin. I looked down to see Ophis looking up at me with wide, curious eyes.

"Onii-chan," she said in a supremely serene voice that made me want to give her everything in the world, "Why does the lady think we're not real?"

"Uh, it's complicated, sweetie," I said, patting her head again in the hopes that it would be enough.

It was: she shrugged and went back to her meal.

XXXXX

I was back in the Forest, looking for a familiar. I didn't know why, but here I was. Actually, no, I did know why: Serafall had insisted. She had absolutely loved Asia's familiar, which seemed to be rather fond of her as well; and she'd approved of Xenovia's choice. But when told that I had not picked one, she threw a fit and ordered me to go back and get one. A cute one, apparently.

How the hell was a nine-headed Hydra supposed to be cute?

The overseer was sticking close to me this time, having apparently figured that he would be safer that way. I could understand his nervousness, what with how the Hydra had nearly eaten him, but did he have to keep rubbing against my left ankle?

Wait, that wasn't him.

I was hesitant to look down. Knowing my luck as of late, it would probably be the appendage of some kind of plant monster about to attack me. But, morbid curiosity carried the day, so my gaze went toward whatever was seemingly attached to my ankle.

What I saw surprised me.

It was a tiny creature coated in snow white... well, I couldn't decide if it was fur or scales. Maybe a bit of both. Its eyes were shut, seemingly in contentment, as it rubbed its almost ball-shaped body against mine. It was also cooing.

I didn't know why, but that sound felt so wonderful. So pleasant.

I squatted down and gently stroked the creature with my index and middle finger. Its eyes popped open, revealing them to be an electric blue. They sparkled like freshly polished sapphires.

The animal opened its mouth and nibbled lightly on my finger. Smiling, I reached out with my other hand and began petting it, using the same methods I'd used to tame Ophis. The creature gave a soft cooing noise as I did this.

Yup. I think I found my familiar. And yet, as I continued to lavish affection on the little puffball, I couldn't shake off a feeling of dread.

XXXXX

"Ne, Onii-chan," Ilya whined. "First the kitty, then Ophis-chan, and now this?" She gave me a baleful look. "Am I not cute enough for you? Is my Onii-chan a serial lolicon?"

I tried not to wince. "I'm not a lolicon, Ilya," I said. "Kanna-chan came to me."

I looked down at the little girl in front of me, who was currently licking a lollipop while staring at my sister. By the dead God, I couldn't decide which was one them was cuter!

She was a tiny girl with white-lavender hair and blue eyes. Her style of clothing could best be described as "gothic lolita with a tribal theme" (I've no doubt Serafall reached across the planes of existence to implant knowledge of that description in my head, damn her): her attire consisted of a white capelet with a fur collar, a pink blouse, a white frilly skirt, and pink doll shoes. Her hair was tied into pigtails, each adorned with three dark blue beads.

The two pairs of white horns-two pointing upward while the other two pointed downward-sticking out where her ears would normally be were one of the two hints that this girl wasn't human; the other was the incredibly thin tail with a very light purple puffball attached to the end protruding from her lower back, wagging back and forth.

Yes, it seems my familiar, a White Dragon child whom I had-almost randomly-named Kanna, could take on a human appearance. Just my luck.

To make things worse, Ophis had grown fond of her almost immediately, and had channeled some of her own power into my familiar so she could walk about even when I wasn't around. I had wondered how she had been able to accomplish that, but when I had asked, Ophis just gave a small smile and had replied, "Secret."

Dammit. Even if she wasn't in my Peerage and had only been with us for a few days, Ophis was starting to get into the swing of the whole "cute, mischievous little sister" thing. My gut told me that my newly minted familiar would soon be swept up in it, if she wasn't already.

I was distracted from my thoughts by Ilya pointing at Kanna, her index finger about an inch from the White Dragon's face. "Listen up!" she said authoritatively. "I'm Onii-chan's premiere lovable little sister! And if you try to take that position from me, I'll-"

Whatever threat she was planning to make was lost to time, as Kanna reached out and placed a soft, delicate little hand against my sister's cheek.

"Soft," she murmured, in an almost flat voice that reminded me of Shirone when we'd first met.

Ilya, for her part, couldn't get another word out, and her face was becoming as red as her eyes.

Well, I think it's safe to say my sister no longer considered my familiar an enemy, which was a good thing, I guess. But why was she blushing?

…You know what? I'd rather not find out.

XXXXX

This truly was a grand achievement on my part. It was simply glorious, something that only my Reality Marble could surpass in terms of filling me with pride. My personal sin, having spent the past few months suffering one vicious beating after another, was whole and strong again.

What could possibly make me feel so good? Well, first off, Karasuba wasn't here, having chosen to spend the day with her parents as it was their wedding anniversary. Second, Ilya and Shirone were in the same room and weren't fighting. Third, the rest of my Peerage, plus Kanna and Ophis, were here, too. Fourth, Gasper was also present, and in his regular clothes rather than a costume or a paper bag. And fifth, and foremost, was the utterly massive breakfast I'd prepared for everyone.

Yes, I was taking pride in my cooking once again. Oh, go jump off a cliff if you don't like it, whoever you are.

A veritable feast, all prepared by yours truly. Pancakes galore; kielbasa sausage; cooked-to-perfection bacon, soft and fluffy biscuits and croissants, with butter trays next to each bowl; separate trays of eggs-one sunny side, the other scrambled; bowls of freshly prepared fruits, including apples slices, cantaloupe, cherries, grapes, oranges, watermelon, and lemons; several massive pitchers filled to the brim with freshly squeezed (and, in some cases, filtered to remove the pulp) fruit juices, and three different flavors of milk (plain, chocolate, strawberry); bottles of home-made syrup of various flavors-maple, chocolate, and strawberry; and a few small bowls of carrots, just in case any of them wanted to slightly decrease their chances of getting diabetes.

It was truly beautiful, a masterpiece, and given how everyone was staring at the repast, they felt the same way. Some of them-such as Shirone, Ophis, and Kanna-were visibly drooling.

At my signal, we all seated ourselves. With a collective "Itadakimasu!" we began to tuck in.

I noticed with some amusement that Kanna and Ophis, who were sitting next to each other, had each wolfed down a pancake without using their silverware or adding any syrup.

"Girls, you need to cut your pancakes," I said gently, then indicated the syrup pitchers. "And you should add some toppings." With a smile, I looked directly at Ophis. "The left-most one is chocolate-flavored."

Her eyes glowing, Ophis made to reach for the pitcher, only for Kanna to reach out first and then pass it to her before grabbing the one containing regular maple syrup. With a grateful glance toward her colleague, Ophis applied the syrup to her remaining platter, then picked up her knife and fork and began cutting into the pancakes, her tongue sticking out from the left corner of her mouth in childish concentration.

Once she got her first bite, she let loose an adorable squeal while placing one hand against her cheek. Then she looked at me as though I were some sort of god.

You know what? Screw all the sugar-filled confections I'd prepared. That stare alone would give anyone diabetes.

XXXXX

END

And done. And dammit, now I'm hungry. So, let's get some things out of the way:

First of all, I do think Third Fang is a legitimately talented writer with good ideas, and FFD shows he can make a good OC, but like all writers, I don't think he's perfect, particularly in how he reacts to criticism and his approach to "jerk-with-a-heart-of-gold-and-a-tragic-past" situations. Issei and Jasmine just came off as too unlikable, too thuggish, too self-righteous, and, frankly, not as clever as the author wanted to depict them as. A tragic past can only explain so much before someone needs to give these kids a reality check and to stop venting their problems on innocent bystanders, because that's the kind of behavior you'd expect from an antagonist in pretty much any setting. Also, no, Jasmine's loss of her dad to suicide did not change my opinion, as, once again, nobody in the ORC or the Student Council had anything to do with that. It felt like a half-assed attempt to just magically sweep her bad behavior under the rug rather than address it. And since she and Issei are being so unfathomably spoiled by both the characters and the author, neither has any reason to develop, because their awful behavior is giving them everything they want-and undeservedly, at that.

With that out of the way, some have said I could have just stuck to writing a hostile review to GAIWP, dropped the story, and moved on. And you're right, I could have. I even initially only planned to write this for my own personal pleasure, never to be released. But then I decided to hell with it. I won't try to church up my motives anymore, and frankly, at this point, I don't even care if TF knows about this story, much less reads it. Even if he did glance at it, I would never find out unless (a) he reviewed it, or (b) put it on one of his lists. Neither is likely to happen, which is fine, I guess. Since this chapter focuses entirely on Shirou, maybe I could've made it a separate one-shot, but I'm not going to. In the end, I wrote this because I wanted to, and come what may, I am proud that I wrote and published this. It's one of the few things I've ever been proud of doing.

And now, I bid you farewell. I might try my hand at actual storytelling at a later date, but that's probably a long way off. I hope you enjoyed this, and whether or not you didn't, please say so and why in a review, if it wouldn't be too much trouble.

Bye!