Silveni : Is your interest on a timer that makes you get off so you don't over do it? If not then I shall invent such a devise and make myself wildly rich! Keep reading! I…I…I
AnnamariahActually, in the books it was a fact that there was a very….pregnant thing to the air. There were record numbers of births all over the world. By the way, Elrond is allergic to almonds but not walnuts. Keep reading! (Give me those cookies!)
Princess SiaraThank you for the pictures! As soon as we figure a way to do it we will make them available to everyone to see. And in general guys are more embarrassed about pregnancy unless they were involved in the …er….begetting themselves. Wow, that was awkward. Poor Lindir, he was just learning about humans. He merely found that he learnt to love them as well. Keep reading!
Ty-Kwan-DoReally? What exactly does Oi vey mean? I never could think of that. I hope this chapter continues to cheer you up! Keep reading!
Laer4572I believe that Lindir is looking though rosy tinted glasses on the part of Barbara's looks. Really, she's rather plain. (Lindir, back away with that sword!) Keep reading!
Fk306 animeloverAre you sure that your aunt and uncle aren't Emily and Boromir in disguise? Hmmm, I'll have to think about that one. Keep reading!
Slayer3 : Take several deep breaths! Good girl, now CALM DOWN FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! I'll ask Winkle about doing Sues. Keep reading!
AraelMoonchild : Everyone gets worked up over a birth of any kind. And if you think about the fact that elves have the greatest sorrows and the greatest joys then it makes all kinds of sense. Keep reading!
Eruanna92That was a really short review! Love you! Keep reading!
PlainAndSimple : Lindir is still wondering about that donut. By the way, no child of Gondor is going to be named Twiggie. And chocolate milk and donuts do not go well together. Keep reading!
GeorgiannaWell, a new comer! Welcome. Snodgrass (That's me!) is flattered that you like him so much. (Snodgrass pats Georgianna on the head.) We did read your Profile by the way. We are way flattered! As for whether or not the girls leave or stay? Wait and see! Keep reading!
kaleidoscopic blueberry muffinWe glad that you're so happy for everyone. As for Russell Crowe? Who needs him? I mean really the best actor in Gladiator was Joaquin Phoenix. Keep reading!
The Random Cat13666Oh thank you! (Snodgrass preens in his new coal and tangerine suit) Keep reading!
theycallmemaryWe always feel warm and fuzzy when people say that our story is one of the best. Someone should make a list of the twenty best stories of each genre. Hmmm, I'll have to think about that. Keep reading!
halfelvenmedeaIf you have any ideas about names for Glorfindel's twins we would love to hear them! Thou who art fluent in the elvish language (Snodgrass kneels before you and moans, "I'm not worthy!') Boromir is not such a stick in the mud anyway. Keep reading!
Chicky PooTo answer your various and misspelled questions, keep reading!
Pancake : It wasn't supposed to be a surprise you silly thing! We were just confirming what everyone thought all along anyway. And before you judge the Barbie/Lindir thing a sue just wait and see what happens. Obviously you have been burned many times. Keep reading!
chelseypudgeWe love showing off! As if you didn't already know that! Keep reading!
Elvin BlueEyesBob? Where did you get….never mind. I have a feeling I don't want to know. Keep reading!
MnM1803We worked hard not to make this a Mary Sue or a Legomance and you want us to turn around and do that? WHAT IS RONG WITH YOU? Never mind I've had too much sugar today. Keep reading!
Trumpet player : Okay! Okay! Okay! Okay! Okay! Okay!
Okay! Okay! Keep reading!
OnceRemebered : We are so
glad that you changed your mind. We love all those who have journey
with us thus far and….what a second this is starting to sound like
an Oscar acceptance speech. (Snodgrass checks his hair in the mirror
and throws kisses to the crowds!)
Wren Da'arWhoa, you had us goin there for a second. We thought you really had a problem! Well, thanks for the huge heaps of time you gave us to up date. We decided we needed a little more. Keep reading!
Carlithirel Amarantha Now only a woman who is expecting herself would say something like that. You're due on Frodo and Bilbo's birthday aren't you? Good for you! Wonderful planning. Keep reading!
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Chapter Thirty Nine
And So It Goes. And So It Goes
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Emily's POV
"Bastien?"
"No. Too pushy sounding."
"Richard?"
"No, then he'd be called Dickie."
"Faramir?"
"We already have one."
"Okay, Ian?."
"No, that sounds too…too…"
"Wizardly?"
"Oddly enough yes."
"What if it's a girl?" Boromir said, "We have to allow for the possibility that it may be a girl."
"Okay." I conceded, "Did you have anything in mind?"
"Hummmm."
"That's not a very good name." I teased.
Boromir chuckled in an uncharacteristic manner and winkled up at me. We were sitting in the living room (Okay, it wasn't a living room, it was the vast cave that I called the living room. People had no idea of small rooms in Gondor.) and Boromir was reclining on the couch (no, it was more like a wooden bench with thick materiel over it. No padding and that could be uncomfortable, hence the use of my lap as a pillow.)
Okay, I just realized that I used way too many words to describe the fact that we were in the living room and Boromir was laying with his head in my lap. There.
We were also talking about names. So far, Richard, Faramir, and Emily had been considered and thrown out.
"What about Zîrâneke?" Boromir said seriously.
"What! What kind of a name is that?" I laughed, he was pulling my leg.
"It's the proper way of saying your name in Gondorian." Boromir replied. I suspect he maliciously enjoyed watching my face turn red!
"That's how you say my name in Gondorian? Seriously?" I looked him in the eyes and he was telling the truth. "What's Barbara's name?" This should be good.
"Narâkanâgad."
We laughed hilariously over that one. I still don't know how to pronounce it. Faramir floated into the room at that moment with the starry expression of man just from his beloved's presence. Somehow he managed to stay on the floor and said, "You all look nice and cozy."
"We've been trying to think of names for the baby." I explained.
"Any luck?"
"No." Boromir said. He swung his legs around and sat up, "I'm sure it's a girl and Emily is sure it's going to be a boy. Which do you think?"
"Yes. I say yes." Faramir said slyly.
"We had considered traditional Gondorian names like Zîrâneke and Narâkanâgad." I said brightly.
"You're not serious." Faramir looked aghast, "You wouldn't curse a poor unsuspecting baby with a name like that would you?"
"No." Boromir said, "But since the duty will fall to me I can name her anything I want. Or him." he amended quickly.
The custom was for the father to name the baby but everyone knew that couple choose the name together. In cases of a marriage of convenience (They happened all the time) the father was usually the one who chose. So that would explain all the Nardûpûhs', Aglahadbanhêrs' and Nagags.
All of them had very nice meanings I'm sure, but for the love of all that's holy they are the ugliest names I've ever heard. I can't help but wonder how the steward's sons could have gotten by on Faramir and Boromir. They sound so generic next to those weirder ones.
"Did you and Èowyn chose a date yet?" I asked.
"We thought a winter wedding would be nice because her brother and family will all be here anyway." Faramir explained, "Unusual, but cozy."
"She'll make a lovely winter bride." I beamed. Boromir coughed something under his breath about "And as cold as one too." But I ignored it.
"By the way, what's wrong with King Elessar?" Faramir said, "He spends time pacing the walls and looking toward Rivendell."
Boromir smiled and said, "Two words little brother. Lady Arwen."
"Ohh!" Faramir said, "The beautiful Evenstar? I have heard of her certainly, but I had no idea that she and the king were…"
'In love? Yes, for the last sixty years." I supplied. They looked at me and I shrugged, "Remember? I know these things. Besides I'm sure Aragorn would tell you."
"King Elessar." Faramir corrected.
"Sorry, Elessar." I mimicked. Aragorn was still trying to get used to his kingly name and so was everyone else. Well, everyone but Faramir, he used it because he never knew Aragorn in any other way.
Boromir threw a few more logs onto the fire (Stone houses are cold year round) and said, "I get the distinct feeling that they'll be arriving any time now."
"What makes you say that?" Faramir asked, he lounged back against the couch and tossed his riding gloves onto the nearby table. Boromir stood with his arms behind his back and smirked knowingly.
"Emily told me." he finally said.
"I did?" I asked confusedly, I hadn't told anyone about knowing when they would come.
"Well, by carrier a letter from Gondor takes at least a week and a half to be delivered to Rivendell. You haven't written a reply to Barbara's letter yet because you know she won't be there to receive it."
"I concede to your great deduction Mr. Holmes!" I said and gave a little curtsy. "Now if you don't mind I think I'll turn in. It's rather late and no doubt you have manly things to discuss." I kissed Boromir goodnight and messed Faramir's hair up as I passed.
"I hate it when you do that!' he called after me.
"That's why I do it!" I cheerily answered.
As I turned the corner I heard Faramir say, "Who is Holmes?" and Boromir begin to explain the Detective whom he had only learnt about the night before when I had told him the story of the Red Headed League. It was priceless.
But then I found myself walking along the family portrait gallery instead of going to bed. The walls were lined with every steward since, God only knows when, and each was different and quite handsome. Well, not Denethor, I doubt he was ever really good looking. (Hey, if you'd seen him with a seeing stone you would change your mind too!)
I had made my way along the first wall and was just coming to my aforementioned father-in-law when I stopped at his father. A broad shouldered giant with a mass of black hair grinned (actually grinned!) out at me. Instead of his son's black, he wore a cheery green color and he looked really kindly.
I read the inscription under the picture "Ècthelion, Steward Of Gondor." I drummed my fingers against the brass plate a moment, looked into his kind eyes and headed back to the living room.
"Boromir? What about the name Ècthelion?"
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Barbara's POV
"No colors?"
Amryn, a lady-in-waiting to Arwen, looked disappointedly at my wardrobe. I was packing, and had asked for a bag to stuff it all in. Amryn had materialized, kindly lending me a backpack to haul my clothes in.
"I have colors." I said, indignantly "Brown, forest green and grayish-blue are all colors. You couldn't expect me to travel dressed in Pepto-Bismol pink."
Lovingly, I patted my long, swirly grayish-blue cloak. The wooden clasp was carved in the delicate form of a butterfly.
"I know." Amryn said, almost sorrowfully "But what will you wear at the wedding? Surely, you do not intend to wear…boots to such an occasion."
I looked at my slim, beautiful traveling boots.
"They're perfect." I argued.
"But you cannot wear traveling clothes. I am sure they're very pretty, but a girl should wear something…"
"Girlish for a wedding? I'm not going to be the flower girl." I said "Besides, nobody looks at anyone other than the bride at a wedding."
Amryn opened her mouth, as if she were about to say something--- and then hesitated. Finally, she said
"Surely you prefer some color other than green or blue?" She bit her lip thoughtfully "I'm sure you would look lovely in a pale rose shade. It would complement your unique skin color."
Sudden visions of a gigantic, pink, ballerina dress arose in my mind. Complete with those horrid, itchy tights. I can see it now, the Sugar Plum Fairy attending the single most important wedding ever.
"Agh, no! The agony!" I shuddered "I'll be fine Amryn. Really."
She shook her head.
"If that is what you really wish. Still, I am sure that rose would…"
"Pink would be perfect." finished Elladan cheerfully. He stood in the doorway, a bow slung over one shoulder, a sword in his belt, and a pack over his other shoulder.
"I just wanted to see if you were ready." he said.
"Do you mean pink is perfect for me, or perfect for you?" I teased, and began to stuff clothing into my pack.
"Rose, you mean." Amryn corrected. Elladan smiled at her winningly
"Can't we just call it pink?" he said.
"No." Amryn said, her chin rising half an inch. She swept from the room.
"Someone's prickly today." he said, suddenly grumpy.
Too grumpy, I thought. The course of true love…hmm
I looked at Elladan, and thought of Amryn. He was tall, black-haired, grey-eyed. She was also tall, but fair-haired, and had pale blue eyes. They would make a stunning couple. Sigh.
Packing finished, I slung it over my shoulder. I felt like an elvish ranger. Okay, except for the fact that I was too short. Okay, except for the fact that my ears aren't pointy. Okay, except for the fact that I had dark skin, dark eyes, and no bow, knives, or secret elvish ninja moves.
"So we're leaving now?" I asked, following Elladan down the hallway.
"Yes, as soon as a few hundred odd people finish packing, readying their horses and finding straying family members. Do you know, Glorfindel is actually bringing Carlithirel and the twins with him? He's strutting around as if he didn't realize what a horror he's unleashed on the world."
"I'm sure your dad was proud of you when you were born. I'll bet you were a sweet little baby."
"Perhaps." Elladan looked embarrassed "Besides, that was so long ago, that it is completely irrelevant now."
We entered the Hall of Fire, which was the main gathering place for everyone.
Bilbo, oblivious to the hum and buzz of activity around him, snored loudly in an armchair. Elrond seemed to be in the midst of conducting a rock concert, as he waved his arms around, directing everyone where to go, what to do, how to breath…
Glorfindel stuck out of the crowd like an tall dandelion. He looked so proud, holding a small blue bundle. Probably Glorfindel Jr.
In short, I saw everyone I knew, except for…
"Elladan, do you know where Lindir is?" I asked.
He shrugged
"No. Why?"
"No reason." I said "He's usually around, that's all."
"Is he now?" Elladan looked at me significantly.
"What?" I said, feeling a hot blush slowly creeping up my neck "What?"
Elladan smiled beneficently, and patted me on the shoulder
"You'll know…someday."
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Emily's POV
"I really like the Isobella." Boromir volunteered one day, "It's very feminine."
We were sitting around the dining room after breakfast and soaking in the sights and sounds of the garden. It was a very cozy scene I have no doubt.
"What? I'm sorry I wasn't listening." I answered. In fact I was busy knitting. I was trying to make a baby blanket, but I had never worked with wooden needles before and it wasn't going so well.
"I said that I like the name Isobella for a girl." he patted my stomach, 'If it's a girl you know."
"Okay, I like that too. If the baby's a girl we'll name it Isobella." I answered sweetly. I was being charming on purpose.
"I'm glad you suggested the name Ecthelion, it's a good family name. I'm less sure about Theodore for his middle name but then you want it for your Grandfather." Boromir replied. He reached over and began untangling my wool for me.
I smiled, "You're rather handy to have around aren't you?"
"I wasn't always a solider Emily." he returned.
"Really! I thought you had just sprang from the ground in full armor and mail with a war cry on your lips." I teased.
"Well, you seem to like my lips well enough." he replied wickedly.
"Now none of that!" I swatted at him as he began tickling me.
Pretty soon he had me pinned down but when things might have gotten …erm….interesting he sighed and said, "I'm sorry to say I have to go. Aragorn is wanting to finish the refitting of the lower Citadel."
"Oh bother." I said, "Well, help me up, I can't very well sit knitting on the floor like a gooseberry."
"I think you look sweet, very girlish." he answered, but lifted me up none the less. He handed me my discarded knitting and sat me back in my chair. I snickered and said, "You're treating me like a favorite dolly."
Boromir smiled and patted my head exaggeratedly, "Now you stay here dolly and wait till I come and play with you later."
"Okay." was my cheerful reply, "Oh! I have to ask you, is it alright to put Barbie in the south room when she comes?"
"South room? What's that?" he asked.
I waved my hands toward the south side of the house, "You know the room in the south of the house. The one with the bed with those fat puffy curtains in that weird orange color?"
He silently mouthed the words 'puffy curtains' and then shook his head, "Whatever you like my dear. But please remember that the maids are to do the work and you are to only watch."
"But it's boring to just sit and…" I stopped at his look.
"O-key dokey Captain." I saluted smartly and laughed, "But I reserve the right to ditch the orange curtains."
"Very well. Have a good day darling." he kissed me and left. As soon as I was sure he was gone I rang to the maids and set after the south room armed with ideas and new curtains.
The maids and I were the Fellowship of the Redecorators.
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Barbara's POV
Something was wrong.
1: I could not find Lindir anywhere.
2: Erestor was my traveling buddy.
3: Yes, elves do have traveling buddies. Especially when they're, um, traveling.
Which we were.
Finally, after innumerable preparations, packing of bags, and miniature crises ( usually mine) the entire household of Elrond had set out to Gondor. The way I ended up as Erestor's traveling buddy was by picking a paper out of a bowl.
Actually, the first paper I picked read Melpomaen. Which is Figwit's ( and yes, he does exist!) fancy name.
And so I stuck it back, because he's nerdy, needy, and he…he… okay, I admit it. He's fine, but I was trying for someone who didn't look like a girl.
In the end, Elrond ended up with him. I believe he muttered something about being singled out by the Valar for such trials…
"Erestor!"
He flinched, visibly. I didn't get the impression he had been thrilled that we were traveling buddies.
"Can you see Lindir from here?" I asked, as I climbed up beside him "I can't see anything, everyone's too tall."
Below us, lay the Gap of Rohan. Erestor, who stood at a vantage point at the mouth of the Gap, had been looking out over the long streams of horses, elves and men ( women too!) that streamed through mountains. Banners snapped in the brisk, mountain wind that blew continually. I felt cold, even though it was the middle of summer.
Erestor, of course, remained above this all. He looked vaguely like Abraham Lincoln, sorrowfully gazing across the unwashed masses. Tall, dignified figure, dark hair, eyes, the hawk nose. Yeah. I could see him on a penny. I bet a lot more girls would become coin collectors.
"Who?" he said, absently.
"Lindir! Aka, a raggedy haired minstrel. Harp-bearing, tree climbing, magically disappearing personage." I said impatiently.
"Ah." Erestor's eyes swept over the Gap, seeming to take in each and every person separately.
"Do you see him?"
A long moment, then-
"Yes." he announced gloomily "And if you were taller, you probably could also, and if you were elven, you would. But you are human, and of somewhat stumpy stature. Therefore, I could conclude that you will only see a moving shape, nearly indistinguishable from many elves, humans, horses, and dwarves traversing this Gap."
"You think I would confuse Lindir with a horse?" I said, and put my hands on my hips "Just tell me his general location. I wanted to ask him something."
"Over there."
Erestor pointed at a vaguely moving shape, nearly indistinguishable from the many elves, humans, horses and dwarves traversing the Gap. I sighed.
"I can't see anything."
Erestor sighed.
"We'll be in Gondor soon." he said finally "I'm sure you can find him then, or he'll find you, I don't suppose the order matters. In any case, who can say who finds who, since both parties may believe that they…"
He stopped at the look on my face, which ranged from utter boredom, to a tragic realization that I was wasting precious moments of my young and beautiful life. I smiled.
"Never mind." I said "We'll be in Gondor soon."
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Emily's POV
Where was I when the call of the elves arrival came? Leaning romantically on some pillows in the garden? Standing dramatically on the wall with my hair blowing in the wind?
(The answer my friend, is blowin' in the wind, the answer is …)
Sorry.
No, rather I was bent over a bucket bringing up my lunch and breakfast. Ah, the beauties of pregnancy are many indeed. Along with never having the strength to do much of anything, and having to use the bathroom all the time. Yup, life was great. Just great.
However, I had Boromir, Legolas and the hobbits always watching out for me. That was nice, only they always argued over what was and was not good for a woman "carrying a child" is how they finally termed it.
I like being the center of attention. I knew it wouldn't last though, as soon as Arwen showed up I would be cast out and forgotten. Not of course that such a thought bothered me.
Much.
However, since I was barfing (to put it crudely) when they were sighted coming I wasn't about to fight about it. Lily patted my back and helpfully held my hair out of my face.
"There, there, you'll be alright in a moment my lady. Tis only natural." She said.
I forgive Lily her unhelpful comments because she was floating on a cloud of wedded bliss. She and her fiancés had been married for over a month now. As much as she went on about him I never learned his name or where he was from. So many couples had married over the last few months that names and faces ran together into one Sue-like lump and I only remembered Lily's.
Anyway, the point is the elves had arrived.
I should have run off with everyone else but I couldn't. I made Boromir go off with the promise that he would snatch Barbie away the minute he could. I tried to slap some color into my yellowish face.
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Barb's POV
The new mithril gates were lost on me. So were the many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many,
many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many,
many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many,
many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many,
many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many,
new gardens.
"Look at these charming gardens." Erestor said "Lovely petunias."
I pulled an ugly face behind his back. I was only a human. Which means I was shoved to the back of the line of elves, all eager to get a good look at Minas Tirith.
"Excuse me." said a familiar voice.
Boromir looked splendid. Steward robes and all, he seemed taller, and looked devilishly smug about something.
"Boromir." I cried "Brother-in-law."
I held my arms out for a hug, but he hesitated for a moment.
"You are quite…recovered?" he asked, looking me up and down.
"Yes. I'm so glad to see you, I feel like I've been away from everyone forever." I said.
A lump spontaneously formed in my throat, and I found myself blinking back tears. Happy tears, this time. Boromir cleared his throat awkwardly, and got down on his knees, saying
"Oh…come on and give me a hug."
And I did. I even wept a small weep on his shoulder, while he hugged me tightly. Finally, I pulled away
"Blast it." I said, embarrassed "I need a handkerchief."
Boromir reached into a pocket, and produced a handkerchief the size of a small pillowcase. A silver B edged in black was stitched in one corner. I wiped away the tears, laughing shakily
"Where's Em? I mean, why didn't she come out to meet me?"
A curious expression came over Boromir's face. At once happy, but very, very tender. Then it was gone, and he said quickly, as if he were a little embarrassed
"I can tell you that later. Besides…" and now he looked conspiratorial "I have an idea…"
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Emily's POV
"I am honored to meet you Lady Gorothlothien. I have heard much of you from your dear sister." Arwen said as her clasped my hand. Her voice was soft and sincere as she smiled down at me, "I hope we will be good friends."
"As do I my Queen." I said in awe, "Many good wishes on your wedding and welcome to Gondor."
She nodded and moved on down the line of well wishers. She was so beautiful, her iridescent gown swirling around her like a cloud. Aragorn stuck to her side like glue and never took his eyes off her figure as he greeted his guests.
I was instantly loyal to her. And I know what you're all going to say,
"What the heck did she call you?"
Answer: My high elvish name. Apparently she was not raised on Westron and after spending so much time in Lothlorien it was more natural for her to use elvish. Wow. Besides it was such a Sue name, you know totally unpronounceable. I've always hated stories where the elf girl has a name a mile long and everyone just call her Gil or Sam or Berty.
Now I was committing a Cardinal sin of Fandom
Now I must repent.
See, I have always maintained that Arwen was a Mary Sue.
I had no idea how true that thought was until I first saw her. Aragorn called out Tinúviel
the first time he saw because she was so much Luthien. How he knew what Luthien looked like I still have to figure out.
Anyway, I felt like falling to my knees and crying out my unworthiness.
"Don't you even dare." Boromir whispered.
"What? I didn't say anything." I defended.
Boromir's hand wrapped around mine and he whispered, "You aren't a very good liar sweetheart."
"I am sorry." I said ridiculously, "I just…I thought that Barbie was going to be here and well, I can't help …but.." I blinked furiously as tears began to flood my eyes blurring everyone around me.
"I need a handkerchief." I said.
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Barbara's POV
I stood a few feet away, hidden behind a few people wider than myself. The wedding procession had immediately proceeded to business: the wedding. People were still arriving though, and Aragorn had to wait a few more minutes of the sixty-seven years he had waited for Arwen.
The White Tree in the midst of the courtyard, was tiny, but beautiful. Pure…white…it glistened with the same…whiteness…of Minas Tirith. In fact, the White Tree was very…snowy.
I waited a few moments, then edged out a few inches. And then I couldn't hide. Emily was crying. Instant outrage filled my righteous soul. Boromir's idea of surprising her was extremely stupid. Besides, she looked vaguely ill, and a little blue under her eyelids.
"I need a handkerchief." she said.
I pulled out the pillowcase handkerchief, and cleared my throat rather loudly
"I think I can help with that."
Emily looked up. Her eyes widened, and she turned to a guilty, shamefaced Boromir.
"But I thought you said…"
"I'm sorry my dear, I had no idea." Boromir apologized.
"And- and." Emily seemed ready to start crying all over again.
This was ridiculous. I marched up to Emily, and handed her the handkerchief.
"You brute!" ( This was to Boromir, by the way)
And, as the Bible would put it "they didst fall upon one another's necks, weeping". Except that I wasn't hugging Em's neck, just her waist. Which seemed to have expanded noticeably. But not the usual too many cupcakes way.
"Em." I said, sniffing "Why…"
I trailed off at the look on her face.
"You're not." I said.
"Yes!"
Whereupon I was about to hug her again. She stopped though, and said, seriously, "Remember today, little sister."
And we said, together, like clones.
"Today…life is good."