Touch the Stars

By Kyizi

Disclaimer: Unfortunately, the Gilmore Girls (and all associated items etc) do not belong to me. Therefore, I had to bribe my inner Lorelai to let me write with Rory for a while and make her take a back seat for a change! ;)

Rating: PG-13.

Spoilers: Everything up to the end of season five is fair game, as that's where it takes place.

Distribution: I'd like to know where it's going, so I can visit :)

Feedback: is a gift. It's nice to give.

Notes: I discovered this on my computer and realised I'd forgotten to post it!

I originally started this at the end of season 5, but was so angry at Rory that I just left it! Occasionally, I'd think of something that would work with it and I would scribble bits of conversations and things down. By the time I figured I might as well type it up, I realised there were six pages and I might as well just post it. I love Logan/Rory, but I think the end of the season showed that they might not be meant to be, that there are things that might keep them apart and I figured it would be nice to see what they had done for each other.

This fic is a series of moments, I guess. It has some Logan/Rory, some Rory/Tristan (because I couldn't help myself!) and it starts with some Luke/Lorelai, because, let's face it, you can't expect me not to write some after them ending the season that way! (Although, I remain forever a Max/Lorelai shipper!)

For those of you who read Skies Are Blue, I'm really sorry, but those muses are refusing to cooperate. I've started the next chapter about ten times, I have various sections written, but it's just nowhere near being a coherent whole. I'm hoping to get Season One back from my friend this weekend and then, hopefully, re-watching will give my Tristan muse a kick start!

xxxxx

Touch the Stars

xxxxx

"He bought me a house!"

"Mom?" Rory frowned, looking at the phone in her hand for a moment, before returning it to her ear.

"Are you serious? Who else would call you at 2am and open the conversation with 'he bought me a house'?"

"Good point. I'm just surprised I guess, and, oh, it's 2am!"

There was a sigh at the other end of the line and Rory took a deep breath. She missed her mother so much, but she didn't feel like she could fix it. And that hurt more.

"Look, I'm still mad at you," Lorelai said finally, "and I'm still not talking to you, but it's 2am so it doesn't count and I had no one else to turn to and you're my daughter and my best friend, no matter what's been going on and I propose and does he answer? Does he say, 'yes, Lorelai, I'd be honoured to be your husband'? Does he say 'no'? No, he doesn't. He says, 'I bought you a house' and then runs out the door screaming 'Taylor!' at the top of his lungs, now does that seem like a fair trade to you?"

There was a beat as Rory tried to figure out what her mother had been telling her. It was 2am, after all, and somehow the words weren't quite making sense.

"You proposed?" she asked slowly.

"So not the point!"

"You is you proposing not the point?"

"Because he didn't answer me!"

"But he did, apparently, buy you a house."

There was a pause at the other end of the phone, but Rory waited patiently. She could almost pretend things were normal.

"Huh. He did, didn't he?"

"And I don't think he intended to buy you a house and not live in it with you. That sounds like serious stuff to me. Wedding like serious stuff."

"He still didn't answer."

"Then simply say, 'baby, oh, baby, my sweet baby, you're the one'," Rory said, her voice deadpan.

"If it worked on Swayze."

"I don't think they actually married."

"Not helping."

"Sorry."

Once again they fell silent. Rory really wanted to fix things.

"Ace, who the hell are you talking to?"

She glanced at Logan, who was regarding her sleepily, and mouthed, 'my mom'. He nodded and reached out a hand to rest on her arm. She smiled, but somehow it didn't help much. Part of her felt as if it should.

xxxx

She was furious. Completely and utterly furious. She stormed up the stairs, knowing that he was following her and not really caring that she was making something of a scene. His parents were away and the room was full of people, but all she could see was his blasé shrug, all she could hear was his voice not standing up for her, all she could think was that he actually agreed with his father.

She entered his room in a flurry, ignoring the protests of the half dressed couple on the bed, and commanded, "Out."

A few moments later they were alone. Logan hadn't closed the door, instead he crossed the room to stand on the small balcony, waiting for her to follow. She felt as if she was always following now, never leading, and she could tell from the look on his face that he knew she had heard him talking to his friends.

"Do you care about me at all?"

"Of course I do!" His eyes were blazing, but there was something in his voice that was just hollow. She didn't not believe him, but there was…something.

"Then why?" she asked. "Why couldn't you say anything that would actually sound as if you did?" She was completely unaware of the fact that her voice was getting louder with each word. She didn't really care if the entire world heard, because she had to make him hear her.

"What do you want me to say, Rory?"

"How about, 'you can do anything if you want it bad enough'? How about something that actually sounds like you have faith in me!"

"Fine! You can do anything."

"I don't want you to say it if you don't mean it!"

"Then don't ask me to! Look, Rory, everyone has their limits."

"No, I'm pretty sure Mary could touch the stars if she wanted to."

The sudden intrusion surprised them both and they whirled around. They were no longer alone in the room. A small crowd had gathered at the door, but her attention was focussed on the person standing barely a few feet away. He looked the same, if a little older, but just…the same.

"Tristan?"

"Look, I didn't want to interrupt, but I just thought you might like to know that your voices are carrying. Hasn't reached the rest of the party yet, but the pool room is pretty engrossed."

Logan didn't speak, but she saw his jaw tensing as she glanced at him. He hated making a scene.

"Tristan?" she repeated, turning back to face the boy – no, the man – she hadn't seen in so long.

He smiled. "Later, Mary. I'm not going anywhere." He frowned. "Well, I'm going downstairs, because this is getting uncomfortable what with Huntzberger glaring at me and all, but I'll be around."

"Okay."

xxxxx

"Tristan."

"Hey, Mary."

Rory shook her head, still completely thrown by his sudden appearance. "Oh, my God, I still can't believe it's you."

She slowly crossed the small patio and pulled him into a tight hug. Somehow, even with everything that had ever happened between them, he seemed to be a friendly face in a sea of accusation. If she hadn't been looking for him, she'd likely have left the house immediately. She couldn't believe she hadn't seen him earlier. Then again, she recalled that he was good at avoidance.

"You know," he said as they pulled back, "of all the ways I imagined this reunion going, that wasn't one of them."

"So how did you imagine it?"

"Before or after the sex?"

"Oh, after."

He started. "My, my, Mary, we have grown up."

"We have." She looked at him appraisingly. "I see Military School did you some good. I think all young men should go there." He chuckled softly and she grinned. "So really, how did you imagine it going?"

"You jumping me and us going at it like dogs."

"Down and dirty, of course."

He laughed. "Somehow I like this better," he said softly. "So, what happened to Harvard?"

"It became Yale?"

"Really?"

"Yeah, made the news and everything."

"That's funny, because it looked the same when I left it."

"You go to Harvard?"

He nodded. "It's a good school, it's far away from my parents; always a plus, and, well, I had someone I wanted to…make things right with…only Harvard turned into Yale for her."

Rory blushed. "So you missed Paris, huh?"

"Like a hole in the head." He frowned. "Paris is at Yale."

"We're roomies."

"My condolences."

"Appreciated."

"So, I guess I'll have to come visit you both this year."

She shifted uncomfortably. "No, you won't"

"Oh, okay."

"No, Tristan, you don't understand…I dropped out."

"You what?"

"I dropped out of school."

His jaw hardened. "Is this because of Huntzberger?"

"Not Logan."

"Let me guess, Mitchum."

"Look, it's nothing."

"It's not nothing, Rory," he said with a hard edge to his voice, but it was more the use of her name that caught her attention. "I haven't seen Mitchum Huntzberger since I was sixteen, but this is one thing I remember clearly about him. He pushes the people he wants to succeed. If he's said something to you, it's to get a rise out of you; he doesn't think like normal people, he doesn't think you can have real feelings in the professional world. He pushes and you either fall down and roll over, or you fight back." His eyes were burning as the locked onto hers. "You were supposed to prove him wrong."

"What?" Rory frowned, her breathing slowing. She shook her head. "I don't understand."

"Don't roll over, Rory."

"What, contract rabies and bite?"

He laughed. "Now you're getting it."

She sighed. "Everything's such a mess, Tristan."

"You want to talk?"

She smiled at him. "Actually, yeah, I do. I don't know why, but I do."

"Gee, thanks for the enthusiasm," he said with a smile.

"You're welcome." She smiled at him before turning away and sighing. "I just don't know where everything started to go wrong, but nothing's the way it was meant to be. If you'd asked me six years ago where I'd be right now, I'd have answered Harvard without a second thought."

"I know," he said softly, thinking fondly of the school that he had spent the last two years at, a small part of him living in the past and hoping to catch sight of her at every turn.

"I just…everything changed and it was going so great and then…then it all fell apart."

"What does your mom think?"

"We're not speaking. Well, except for late night calls, but they don't count."

"Right, of course they don't."

"It's a Gilmore thing."

"I'll take your word for it." There was a pause and he smiled a little. "Does Paris know you left?"

"No."

"I wondered how you were still in one piece."

xxxxx

There was something sad, something final about a packed bag, but there was something more to be said about an empty one. She glanced at the bag she had brought, the one that she was supposed to clear her things into, but it was empty. He was scattered throughout her life, his socks (carefully hidden from her Grandparents), his books (some with two bookmarks in them), a razor, a toothbrush... He was everywhere with her and here she was in his room and her bag was still empty.

"I'm sorry."

She turned and smiled at him sadly. "I know."

He ran a hand through his hair and stepped further into the room. "I changed for you, Rory."

"I know you did and I was so happy, but…did you change for me or because, deep down, you really wanted to.

"A bit of both, I think."

"Good answer." She chuckled softly.

"Stay." His voice was soft, but determinted. "Please."

She looked at him sorrowfully. "Logan…am I really who you want? I mean, really? Do you see us together forever?"

He took a moment, but didn't break her gaze. "I did."

"And now?"

He sighed. "DuGray's right, Ace, you could touch the stars if you really wanted to…and I'd only hold you back. I wouldn't want to do that to you. I wanted to open your eyes to excitement and adventure, because I could see it in you-"

"Logan, you did do that!"

"And now I'm hurting you because…because I don't want to be stuck alone in a life I don't want…I tried to take you with me. And so did my father..."

"What?"

"I think he was challenging you, Ace. He wanted you to prove him wrong and show him that you could do it. He wanted to show you that, eventually, you'd grow out of me…away from me. But if you didn't meet the challenge…if you let your dreams slip away on one man's opinion, then you might be content in my life…in my house as my wife. I knew that and I didn't tell you, because I wanted to keep you and the only way to do that was to make you the kind of wife that my mom and my grandfather wanted."

"But if I became that person, Logan, would I be the kind of wife you wanted?"

"No."

"I think I was only ever meant to be a stop along the way for you. You did give me excitement and I guess I gave you the ability to want more from your life. I'll tell you what; I'll prove your father wrong if you'll fight for what you want. Just…do me a favour."

"Anything."

"Oh, the possibilities."

"Dirty."

"You spend too much time with me."

"I'm checking in next week."

"Funny." They smiled at each other. "Just one favour."

"Anything."

"When you find her, you know, the one…just make sure she's more than a pretty face."

"I promise."

Rory smiled and nodded, picking up her empty bag. "I really have to go now or I won't…I just…"

He nodded. "I know, Ace," he whispered. He took a step towards her, closing the gap between them. Placing his hands on the tops of her arms, he pulled her close and kissed her gently on the forehead. It was goodbye and he'd never felt less like saying that to anyone.

A few moments later, she stirred in his arms and pulled back, looking up at him with a sad smile and tears on her cheeks. "I love you, Logan," she said softly. "I really wish we were meant to be. I want it so much, but…"

"But you deserve the stars."

"And so do you." She kissed his cheek and stepped out of his embrace for the last time, before turning and walking steadily out of the room, her small heels clicking to the beat of his heart, but, somehow, he didn't feel so much like she was walking over it; he felt like she had left him with the ability to leave it open for someone else. Not matter how much he wished that someone was her.

"I love you, Rory," he whispered, before taking one last look at her dorm room window and walking away. Towards…something. Perhaps she was right and it was the stars, he wasn't sure, all he knew was that, for the first time in his life, he actually wanted to reach them himself.

xxxxx

The end

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