A/N: I forgot to mention. Ladon is pronounced LEI-d-n. In Greek Mythology, It has two shape versions, one is a serpent, and one is a dragon with a hundred heads. I choose the latter for this story to vocalize his visual embodiment power :)
!TRIGGER WARNING!
The first section of this chapter contains a deep, close POV of Lucka's monolog. Please reconsider reading this if you have anxiety or depression. I also made the illustration and posted it on Pinterest in the chapter's scene section. Please check it if you want to feel the depth of this chapter more.
Enjoy the ride and have a nice day, everyone :)!
Chopin: 24 Preludes Op.28 No.15 in D Flat Major
Lucka was alone again inside her bedroom. She'd lay on the bed for a little while. It was still eight in the evening, yet her body and—mostly—her mind were bloody tired. She stared at the ceiling blankly. One by one, the previous events clashed in front of her eyes.
She inhaled deeply, the clearness of air filling her lungs, and she felt the blood in her vein flowing like a muddy stream. She whined when her heart ached. Her feet turned cold as if the warmth of her life was sucked up from above the head.
Today was too much. The previous days also had drained Lucka's energy. Dealing with the Turks was like diving into a deep madness. The bullshit to follow the order and all. The Church, her failure to save Shelke, and the magic.
Zeus, what happens with my mana? Why do I even wield any magic in my body?
Lucka was devastated, beyond tired of the whole situation. She just wanted to run, but she couldn't. No, what she wanted the most was just to go back to Earth and hug Ryuu forever.
Ryuu, are you okay there? Eauriale didn't harm you, right? Does she know I'm here? Does she tell you where I am? Does she know all of this and have all the answers? But she's evil. Can we trust her?
She breathed out a deep sigh. The pulse on her temple throbbed, then she closed her eyes. The sight of the Church played again in the stage of her mind. The mighty interior, the sun, the flower, and Aerith. The girl was still alive. She was fine.
Lucka reprimanded herself, clenching her knuckles hard. But the pain from the sunken nails on her palm didn't ease the pang on her chest.
Aerith should be kept alive. She should save her and Zack.
The son.
Right, she should save the son. Sephiroth. How crazy did it sound, really? The God and Goddess may curse her. She wasn't about changing destiny. The fate… it was cruel. But it was the way it should be.
She couldn't mess with the predestined. If it was turned in a different way, then Cloud… Avalanche… Shira… and Rufus, even everyone, would never change.
The previous conversation with the General suddenly crashed into her.
"We can defy destiny. It's in our hands."
"Are you not afraid if you… let's say you know your fate. But when you're trying to change it... the result isn't what you've expected, even, it turns out to be worse?"
"Then it's for the best."
NO. No way.
Her body trembled. Her mind whirling into tangled wire, how could she save the General? He was superhuman, nearly becoming God himself.
Her magic. She had it. Would she stand a chance against him?
But his power was unimaginably formidable. Lucka was just a human, mundane, weak, far inferior to him, and helpless. A nothing. She even failed to save Shelke, she could have been stronger and faster, but she was a failure.
The General was alright now. He was sane. But if she changed anything, would he become worse?
"Then it's for the best."
Lucka choked, her eyes shut tight, and she whimpered. Her hand pressed hard on her heart. She couldn't fail Gaia. The planet with everyone on it would perish. Then it'd be useless. She couldn't change anything. Just like when she only looked through the Chopper that abducted Shelke, she couldn't help the child.
I'm useless. Because of me, Shelke will suffer for a long time in Deepground.
She broke down.
Lucka saw the darkness. The blinding black. They were wrapping from the back of her head, seizing her skull down, making it hurt so much. Too much. Her head spun, her palm went slushy, and her forehead was sweating the size of a seed flower. The shadow kept grappling with her, running down to her chest. The knot suppressed her lungs. She gasped for air helplessly, her surroundings whirling painfully slowly. Too slow until it seemed she couldn't breathe right, suffocated. Her eyes flung open, and she stared into blankness as her eyes burned into rainy tears.
It hurts—the pain.
IT HURTS.
Lucka stood. She turned around with feral eyes. Her chest hurtled up and down as her breath wrought wayward. She darted to every corner, but she found nothing. Her hands tugged her scalp and ran down to rub her face roughly. While her heart was banging out of her ribs, her whimper was squealing in her ears.
She ran to the kitchen. There, yes, there. On the counter. The shining thing peeped out from the darkroom. The gleam lured her in. As if it told her, the line of her sanity on the tip of it. Just a strike, a simple line, that's fine even if it was shallow… that's fine...
She grabbed the knife hilt. She inhaled and exhaled in despair, her eyes blurry with tears that didn't stop gliding. Her hands trembled greatly. The blade's tip touched her skin.
But she stopped.
She couldn't. She shouldn't. Especially not here, not in this world. She'd find another way. Like always, like how it turned in the end. Lucka flung the knife to the sink. It clattered and made a loud crashing sound. She grasped the counter edge while her eyes locked into that damn thing. Like it was teasing her, calling her with inviting evil whispers.
She shut her eyes and shook her head firmly. I should go. Now!
Lucka ran back to her bedroom, snatching her purse and phone. She didn't look back. She just ran. Down the building, straight to the outside of the secluded area, and went into the civilian residence. Her feet wouldn't stop. They kept moving. Her lungs screamed for air, but she didn't budge. Her shaky haze tried to focus on her phone screen, following the straight direction. Then she rounded a corner, and when she finally stopped, she pushed the door with more force than necessary. She eyed the lining liquor bottle and brought home some of them. The more, the better.
Sephiroth had already sent everyone off and enjoyed a little spare time on his Friday night after the chaos at Lucka's magic reserve lesson earlier. He also informed Tseng about his subordinate work on his rooftop. But he hadn't given him further details. It was better to give it tomorrow.
He reclined comfortably on the armchair inside his bedroom. A book on his lap and a glass of white wine in his hand. He wanted a good break, so he didn't read any heavy literature. His tired mind had had enough. It was fiction. Sometimes he'd like to invest his time into a good novel of thriller-psychology or fantasy adventure. Even so, he still read another genre, but romance. Because he couldn't simply relate to them so well. Or… poetry, he had more than he deserved since Genesis explicitly shoved LOVELESS into his face almost every time.
He was about to flip another page. When something inside him tugged and wavered. Then, it broke into a numbing sensation. He furrowed at the feeling, it didn't hurt him, but it made him uneasy. He didn't know what it was. Yet somehow, it was also familiar. He'd felt it before, not long ago. But when? Where?
His gut told him something was off. He stared outside of the window. Suddenly, he remembered. He stood and checked on the Materia inside his nightstand drawer. The gray Materia was still in its shape. His fingers rounded the orb. His frown deepened when he noticed something was different. It should glow pale gold, yet there was nothing as the orb was dim.
Sephiroth was confused. He was on his usual self. He was still powerful, his physical strength in its prime, and his mana was great. He didn't unsummon Lucka. She couldn't even unsummon herself. Or was it because she used her mana and tired herself off?
The bound. It was gone. Sephiroth tried to read the spell, but nothing happened. The orb was still dull—no sign it was activated.
He knew this was so wrong. Sephiroth reached his PHS to dial her number. He called her a few times, but nothing. She didn't pick up the call. Then, he dialed another number. A rush of relief washed over and held his calmness altogether when the other lines connected.
"Tseng. Do you have a duplicate of Lucka's keycard house?" he said.
Tseng didn't answer instantly. It took him a second longer to respond. ["Yes, I have it. Is something wrong, General?"]
"I need to ensure something," he said.
["Alright. I'll wait in the lobby."]
"Thanks." He didn't waste any time. Sephiroth wore his navy overcoat and went down to the parking area, taking his black supercar out.
He was on the highway. His left hand rested on the wheels while his right hand was busy with his PHS. Sephiroth redialed her number more than four times in a row. But she still didn't pick up at all. The unsettled feeling almost pissed him off; he hated it. His mind automatically recalled the event a day ago in the Church. Lucka was starting to act weirder back then.
Let alone after the girl in the Church told them what the planet had said. He still hadn't fully grasped what she'd said, though. Save the son. But whose son? Lucka was staring at him instantly at that moment. Her face flooded with emotion he couldn't picture. It was just downright bizarre. He assumed Lucka had thought the son must be him. But he couldn't entirely believe it. Because it didn't make any sense. He was far more than challenging to be saved. Sephiroth didn't need the help.
"Doesn't mention I'm from the future too."
"The future."
He frowned at the memories of their conversation.
"Are you not afraid if you… let's say you know your fate. But when you're trying to change it... the result isn't what you've expected, even, it turns out to be worse?"
If Sephiroth connected them all, what kind of future would he face that he needed to be saved? He didn't have any idea.
Another memory rushed into his mind from the earlier event. Lucka had surprised them. She happened to be one of the rare natural magic wielders. Yet, she didn't know where the power came from. The fire she pulled out was intense, though the force wasn't even a half from the dragons he'd killed. And Gaia, those eyes. They were bright golden when her magic activated. Who was she, really? There was still too much mystery. Their encounter had transpired beyond what he'd imagined. It was more complicated than he anticipated.
Sephiroth drove faster and arrived at the Turks' apartment soon. He parked his car and hurried to the lobby. Tseng was already waiting. His untied hair fell into his black silk pajamas, and he exchanged a nod with Sephiroth when he saw him. Tseng escorted him to the elevator, and they stopped at the eleventh floor.
Once they stood on one of the doors on the floor, Sephiroth rang the bell. They waited, no answer, then he rang again and again for the fourth time. But there was still no answer. Sephiroth extended his hand and glanced at Tseng silently. The Turk handed the keycard, and he entered the darkroom first. Their soft footsteps echoed inside the house when the light in the living room and the hallway turned on automatically.
"Lucka?" Sephiroth called. Yet only stillness that welcomed them.
He walked to open one by one of the rooms in her house, but there was still no sign of her while the places he'd checked were still unfurnished. Then he stopped at the door by the end of the hallway.
"Is this her bedroom?" he asked.
"Yes." Tseng nodded.
Sephiroth knocked at the door three times. No answer. He knocked again, louder this time, but there was still no response. "Lucka, are you there?"
Silent, it was too quiet.
They exchanged looks. Sephiroth slowly turned the knob, and instantly they embraced by the somber room. The only light came from the city light outside the window's full-glass wall, beside the king-sized bed in a white sheet. His enhanced eyes were immediately adapted to the lack of light. Then, he heard the sound of soft breath. He walked deeper into the spacious room, and there he saw a white-haired figure showing her back, lying in the center of the bed. The sight made him relieved. Regardless it made his confusion grow deeper.
"Lucka."
No reply. Sephiroth stepped closer to the bed, his dark slippers tip brushing lightly at the foot of the mattress frame. "Lucka, are you okay?" He tried again, and she twitched.
The slight movement made him realize what the girl was wearing. Or not wearing. She only dressed in her black underwear. The white blanket messily wrapped around the part of her leg.
Sephiroth quickly averted his eyes. Tseng was standing beside him and also honed out his gaze. Although he knew Tseng couldn't see her as well as he, they exchanged awkward glimpses at each other.
"I'm in my room if you need me, General," Tseng said. Sephiroth nodded and murmured thanks in reply. Then, he left them alone.
He glanced back at Lucka after hearing a clicking sound of the automatic lock from the entrance door.
"Lucka, what happened to you?" He tried for the third time, then she stirred.
"Who?" she said with a gruff voice.
"It's Sephiroth."
Lucka rolled on her back, facing him. Sephiroth's eyes caught how her stomach muscle moved, and her bust raised when she inhaled a breath. It was almost distracting as his eyes lingered more than a second longer there. Then, he darted his eyes to her face when she opened her mouth.
"Why are you here?" she asked, her head tilted up as if to make a focus.
With this close range, his nostril caught a strong smell from her. It was alcohol. She was drunk. He said, "You're gone."
She frowned at him, confused. "No, I'm not. I'm here."
"I can't sense you." She was in front of him, but he felt nothing. It was just numb. The numbness was blocking him from her.
Lucka said nothing at first. The heavy silence between them made him uncomfortable. At last, she said, "I don't get it."
She propped herself to a sitting position with one hand. Her lips twitched, and her eyebrow furrowed as if to endure pain. Then with a soft sultry voice, she said, "But since you're here, why don't ya' stay the night?"
Sephiroth blinked. He didn't know the exact meaning behind her words and why she used that kind of tone. He was torn about whether she was drunk or seducing him. Or both. He took the silence to figure out what he wanted to say. In the end, he said, "No, I can't."
"Why?" She tossed her hair behind her shoulder in a way that looked too natural, revealing a delight line of her neck down to her cleavage.
Sephiroth couldn't help glancing down and followed the motion. Is she actually seducing me now?
"I'll take my leave," he said, shaking his head, and started turning away.
"Wait!" Lucka grabbed his long hair to make him stop. It must be looked awkward. "Don't." She stared at him.
Sephiroth almost held his breath when their eyes met. His feet are rooted to the floor. He didn't even move an inch as they just exchanged a silent gaze. Both of them did nothing for another moment.
Eventually, Lucka gave in to the staring contest and said, "If you don't want to have a sleepover, stay a moment longer." Lucka released him and patted the surface beside her.
Sephiroth sighed and shook his head to refuse to sit. It was better to maintain their space in this kind of inconvenient circumstance. He was under control, but she wasn't. Then he asked her, "What happened to you?"
"Why do you ask?" She blinked at him.
Because he was worried? No, he was irritated. He didn't like the uneasy feeling since the bond was gone, and he felt numb. "The alcohol is blocking us."
Lucka only gave him a painfully slow nod. Her eyes were far away. She didn't answer for a long time. He couldn't do anything, so he only waited for her patiently, even though he doubted she was sober at this stage. When she peered up at him, those pale gray eyes became intense. They made him sense something weird in his stomach. Whatever made her drunk, he thought it must have distressed her so much.
"I'm sorry. I'll let you know if I want to get drunk again," the girl murmured.
Sephiroth frowned. "You know, that's not the point."
"I… don't know," she said.
"I have time. I'm listening." He offered.
Her eyes were searching into his. It looked like she was torn because she tried to open her mouth several times but only shut them again. She frowned and turned away her gaze in the end.
"It's okay," he said with a softer tone. "If you can't tell me now, then I'll leave you to take a rest."
Lucka nodded, her eyes still cast down. "Thank you, and sorry for bothering you."
Sephiroth shook his head. "I'm leaving." He stared at her for a few seconds, then left without waiting for Lucka to raise her head. He walked out of her house with her keycard in hand. If something strange happened again in the future, he certainly would need it.
Lucka had been guilty. Getting drunk was the fastest and easiest way she could get, but the hangover also killed her. She patted her cheeks to break herself from her mind. She was autopiloting and just realized she'd stopped on her way from the kitchen to the bathroom. She'd already gulped down a gallon of water, but indeed she needed more than it. Her stomach was killing her. Yet, she should make a report for her Boss this morning. She sighed tiredly, forcing herself to continue getting ready.
It hadn't taken her too long to finish her morning routine. Lucka stared at her closet as frowns made their way to her eyebrows. She hadn't had the time to buy any casual clothes. She only had a free company t-shirt with a gauche logo between her Turk uniforms. She should go downtown later, probably buy some robes and pajamas too. Her frown deepened while she wore the t-shirt and the pants from Cissnei. She vaguely recalled she didn't wear any sleeping attire last night because she was too drunk to put anything on. Thus she'd woken up only in her underwear. Wait. Her hazy mind immediately recollected the blurry visions.
Lucka was sure she had a conversation with someone. She combed her hair, watching her reflection in the mirror, and occasionally ran her finger between them. "Oh, shit," she mumbled the curse to herself. She remembered grabbing someone's hair. It was so smooth and soft like silk, and the hair was straight and insanely long. They had a silver sheen under the faint light in her bedroom.
It was General Sephiroth.
But how could he get into her house? Did he break into her private property? Suddenly whirling anxiety invaded her gut. Did she act disrespectfully to him? Ryuu had always scolded her whenever she drank alcohol once in a while discreetly—and got caught (she was still underage by then). Besides, she'd act suggestive. Even one time, he said she'd tried having sex with him. The old man went berserk. He stopped talking to her for a month. Lucka let out a sigh when the memories made her grimace. She glanced again at the mirror before she went to the entrance door. Now at least, she looked fresh and presentable to meet her Boss. She should get some business done.