Buffy was a little concerned when she saw that her bedroom door was closed and Faith was no where to be seen. Standing just outside the door, all she could hear were soft grunts. Before her fears could fully coalesce, she was pushing the door open.

"Ha! Got you." Faith exclaimed and started running around the room with her arms raised, cheering in victory.

"Faith!" Tara couldn't stop laughing, and Buffy still didn't know what was going on.

"'C'mon T, don't be a sore loser." Faith chides with a grin.

"Sore loser! You only won because I was distracted." Tara argued back.

"Yeah - yeah. Whatever blondie - I'm the best thumb-wrestler in this house, and everyone knows it. I should get a trophy or something." Faith wipes some imaginary dirt off her shoulder, which gets Tara laughing again.

"Does that mean I get a trophy for the ten times I beat you before that?" Tara asks with amusement.

"None of that counted - we didn't have a witness." Faith motioned towards Buffy, who was still frozen in the doorway - completely unable to make sense of the interaction.

"There's only one way to settle this." Tara held her hand out for a rematch, but Faith shook her head.

"Nah. I'm not looking to defend my title just yet." Faith winked at Buffy as she slipped past her and out into the hallway.

Now that Buffy understood what had happened, she chuckled and crossed the room to join Tara on the bed.

"I'm glad to see you two getting along." Buffy leaned against the headboard and indicated for Tara to come closer.

"Me too. We had a really good talk." Tara eagerly climbed up to lay next to Buffy. "How did it go with your mom?"

Buffy ran her fingers through Tara's hair and reveled in being able to have this moment. "Pretty good, I think."

"Did you tell her?" Tara asked tentatively.

"No, not yet. I wanted to give Ms. Calendar and the rest of the gang a little time first." Buffy was immensely guilty about not telling her mother that she was going to die. Even though she knew it was probably the right decision, it still felt wrong.

"That makes sense." Tara snuggled closer and tightened her arm around Buffy's waist. She had been so sure she was never going to feel this again and she wanted to appreciate every moment they had together. As they lay there in comfortable silence, Tara decided she would do everything she could to make sure she never lost Buffy again.

"Will you... come with me tomorrow to talk to Ms. Calendar? You don't have to..." Buffy trails off, feeling guilty for wanting Tara's help with this hopeless situation.

"Of course, I'll be there." Tara squeezes her eyes shut and hopes her voice doesn't betray her. She wishes she could say something encouraging, but she just can't bring herself to lie to Buffy. There are certainly plenty of things she doesn't know about magic, so she hopes she's wrong - but she won't lie and promise a result that she doesn't believe is possible.

"Thank you." Buffy hugs Tara closer. She ignores the hopelessness of the situation. It's not the first time she's faced a situation with no chance of coming out on top. Even though she knows Tara doesn't think it's possible to save her mother, somehow Buffy knows that it is.

With Tara in her arms, anything is possible.

Buffy was rudely awoken when someone pulled the pillow out from under her. Both she and Tara groaned loudly in annoyance.

"Time for dinner, B!" Faith said way too loudly and threw the pillow at them - Buffy just barely caught it before it smacked her in the face. "Get your asses up!" Faith is out of the room before Buffy can try to throw the pillow back.

"Just when I was starting to think she's not the most annoying person ever," Tara says under her breath.

Faith ran back into the room and started bouncing on the end of the bed. "You haven't even seen annoying yet."

"Slayer hearing," Buffy responded to Tara's unspoken question - while at the same time trying to shove Faith off the bed with her feet. That plan backfired when Faith grabbed them and yanked.

"Faith!" Buffy shouted just before she was deposited headfirst onto the floor. Faith ran out of the room, cackling like a maniac.

"Should I apologize?" Tara was mortified that Faith had heard what she said. Even if it was completely true.

"Don't," Buffy warned with a groan as she sits up. "That will just make things worse."

"How good exactly is this slayer hearing?" Tara stood and helped Buffy to stand.

"Very," Buffy says and rubs her neck.

"Did she hurt you?" Tara asks with concern and takes over massaging Buffy's neck for her.

"I think I was just sleeping in a weird position. Does that officially mean that I'm old now?" Buffy moans lightly as Tara finds an especially tight spot.

Tara laughs and continues to work on the knots in Buffy's shoulder and neck. "Sorry about falling asleep on you."

"I think it was mutual falling asleep on." Buffy moaned again at how good this impromptu neck rub felt. "I haven't been sleeping much lately," Buffy confessed without thinking.

Tara sighed, "me neither. I'm so sorry." Tara dropped her hands and her head. There was no way she could make up for how much pain she had caused.

Buffy turned around and forced Tara to look at her. "Please stop apologizing. It's wasn't your fault. If it's anyone's - it's mine."

"What? No, it's not at all your fault. How can you even think that?" Somehow Tara wasn't surprised that Buffy was taking the blame and it made her even feel even worse about her decision.

"Because... I just let you walk away. I could have done anything else..." Buffy paused, furious with herself all over again for letting Tara leave that day. "All I had to do was chase after you and make you explain." Buffy couldn't help the tears that fell as she thought about how much pain her fear had caused them both.

Tara's eyes watered as she thought about what Buffy was saying. She wanted to argue and point out that she was the one that left - making it entirely her fault. She decided that there was no point in trying to place blame. They had to move forward. "Can we just... forgive ourselves?" Tara knew this wasn't going to be easy, but they had to try.

"I already forgave you," Buffy said quietly.

"But have you forgiven yourself?" Tara rubbed her thumb over Buffy's cheek.

"I'll work on it," Buffy answered with a nod and reached up to hold Tara's hand to her cheek. "Now, let's go eat."

Dinner was tense, but passed without much incident. It was clear that Buffy's mother wasn't too sure about Tara, but she was giving her a chance at least. Buffy had assured her that there was just a miscommunication that had caused their break-up. Tara hadn't done anything to intentionally hurt her and she was sure nothing like that would happen again.

Promises were made for weekly dinners, and Buffy would have to spend at least three nights a week at home over the summer. Buffy didn't exactly like that part of the arrangement, but she figured it was reasonable. It would only be a few more months before she moved into the dorms and she'd be able to spend every night with Tara anyway.

Tara did her best to be charming throughout dinner, but it was way out of her comfort zone. She had never met a girlfriend's parent before, nevermind under such stressful circumstances. Whenever there was a break in the conversation, she considered apologizing and promising she'd never hurt Buffy again - she just couldn't get the words out. Her only hope was that Joyce would see over time what Tara couldn't manage to say.

After dinner, the two slayers walked Tara back to her dorm before their nightly patrol.

Thankfully, Faith broke off from the pair almost immediately. Buffy was sure she'd run into her again tonight, but she appreciated getting this time to be alone with Tara. Unfortunately, neither of them seemed able to break out of their fears and actually say anything to each other.

"I'll see you tomorrow?" Buffy asked as they stood awkwardly outside of Tara's dorm room.

Tara tried to contain her disappointment that Buffy wasn't planning on going inside with her. "Are we... are we okay?"

Buffy frowned as she tried to figure out how to answer Tara's question. "I want us to be." Then she sighed. "Sorry, I know that's a shitty answer. I just, I have a lot of things to figure out."

Tara forces a confident smile she doesn't quite feel. She reaches for Buffy's hands and looks into her eyes, hoping that Buffy can see her sincerity. "Leaving you was the dumbest thing I've ever done. I promise you that I will never hurt you again."

Buffy wanted to point out that there was no way Tara could keep that promise, but the last thing she was trying to do was hurt Tara. Like Tara, she wanted to move beyond this moment and get back what they had before. Doing her best to match Tara's energy, she smiled and moved closer. "I love you." Then she kissed Tara with all that she had.

Tara moaned loudly as Buffy kissed her. Her hands were gripping Buffy's waist as she pressed their bodies together. "I love you, too," Tara said when Buffy backed away.

"We will get through this. I promise." Buffy says and kisses her again.

Tara wished they could skip this part and put it behind them, but she was the one who had messed things up. Their recovery had to be on Buffy's terms. "I'll see you tomorrow at Ms. Calendar's," Tara said, hoping to hide her disappointment as she turned away from Buffy and entered her room.

Buffy watched Tara's door shut with trepidation. Sucking in a breath, she headed in the direction of the nearest cemetery, not at all surprised when Faith joined her after only a few minutes.

Patrol was pleasant enough, the slayers weren't quite back to normal, but it was definitely better than it had been the past few weeks. They only ran into a few newbie vamps, so Faith couldn't be sure if Buffy was truly herself. After they hadn't seen any vampires in twenty minutes they both agreed it was time to all it a night.

Buffy was surprised when Faith appeared to be heading in the direction of her house. Even though Faith technically was living there, she rarely went there directly after patrol.

"All good with T?" Faith asked after a few minutes.

"Yeah, I think so." Buffy cringed, now realizing Faith was going home with her because she had something more to say about the Tara situation. She didn't want to hear anyone else's opinion, she just wanted some time to think things through for herself.

"Good."

Buffy was surprised that Faith didn't elaborate. It wasn't like her at all. Obviously, Faith had something to say - Buffy couldn't understand why she wasn't saying it. Before they could get all the way home, she grabbed Faith's arm and spun her around. "That's it?"

Faith wrenched her arm out of Buffy's grip, but she clearly wasn't as angry as she was trying to pretend to be. "Look." Then she ran her fingers through her hair. "T is good people. I know what she did to you was beyond fucked. But you gotta let her back in. You two have something that no one else gets to have. And you're a fucking moron if you let it get away." Then she stalked off towards the house.

Buffy could not believe Faith, of all people, was saying something like this. Her first instinct was to scoff. What did Faith know about anything? Especially relationships. As far as Buffy knew, Faith had never actually dated anyone.

Faith was already in the house before Buffy had a chance to call her out on it. Buffy had no opportunity to try and refute Faith's claims or to try and point out that it was perfectly reasonable not to jump right into things with Tara again.

When she slipped into bed that night, she lay there and stewed thinking about Faith's comments. It took all her self-control not to run into Faith's room and... well she wasn't sure what she would do when she got there. She'd just tell her that her relationship with Tara was none of her business. Knowing how pointless that discussion would be, Buffy did her best to calm down.

As her mind finally started to quiet, she realized once again that Faith was probably right. Tara had made a mistake, but it wasn't like it was a mistake that Buffy didn't understand. Buffy knew what had happened with Tara's mother. She knew that Tara went through hell trying to convince everyone that she needed help, but no one would listen.

Being faced with a very similar situation, Buffy couldn't really blame her for not wanting to go through that again.

She wanted to call Tara, but it was 3am, and she knew they'd be seeing each other soon. Buffy promised herself that she'd follow Faith's advice and get her happiness back.

Buffy smiled when she heard Tara's voice approaching, and she hopped up to open the door before Tara could knock. Tara was in the middle of saying something and was a little startled when Buffy leaned in to kiss her, and she backed away without thinking.

"Oh, sorry," Buffy mumbled, and her heart sunk. It sunk even further when she saw who Tara was with. "Hey, Willow."

"Hey, Buffy," Willow replies with a nervous squeak - not at all missing what just happened.

"You two know each other?" Tara asks. She was annoyed with herself for backing away from Buffy's kiss. She leaned in to try and fix her mistake, but Buffy turned, so she kissed her cheek.

"Not really," Buffy says and opens the door all the way so they can enter. As they pass, she's assaulted with images flashing across her vision. It's impossible to tell if what she is seeing is past, present, or future. All she knows is that what she sees is devastating. Squeezing her eyes shut, she begs for them to stop.

Her mind is assaulted with Tara's smiling face, which shouldn't be an issue except Buffy can see the cause of Tara's happiness.

And it isn't Buffy.

She sees Tara and Willow holding each other as they hover off the dance floor of the Bronze. She sees soft smiles and warm caresses that break her heart over and over again.

It doesn't feel like any sort of slayer dream she's had before. For one thing she's awake. For another, she's not in any of the scenes she sees. Nothing she's shown is remotely demon or vampire related. It feels like she's being punished for something she never did. The images start to flash too quickly for her to even identify what's happening. All she gets is echoes and impressions of feelings that don't belong to her.

She's not sure how long she stood frozen, but when she regained control of herself - no one had seemed to notice her little freak-out.

Tara and Willow were talking to Ms. Calendar and standing way too close, in Buffy's opinion. She thought they were back together, but maybe they weren't. Now she really regrets not going into Tara's dorm room last night or at least calling her. What if her wigging out made Tara think they weren't dating anymore? Her brain continued to short-circuit as she watched Tara and Willow interact with Ms. Calendar.

"Hey, girlfriend." Faith had entered without knocking and now had her arm slung over Buffy's shoulder. "Who's the new chick?"

"Willow." Buffy's throat is dry, and she's dreading whatever Faith is going to say next.

Faith says nothing, which is somehow worse.

Buffy has no idea what to do with herself. Faith had walked off to the kitchen and was grumbling about there not being enough snacks. Buffy was catching snippets of what Tara was telling Ms. Calendar. It sounded like Willow was a witch, too, and thought she might be able to help with her mother.

"Hey," Tara was standing in front of her all of a sudden. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, fine." Buffy tries to actually be fine, but it's not working. "How did you two meet?"

"Through a Wicca group on campus," Tara replies with a grin. A grin that Buffy thought should only be about her.

"Oh, cool," Buffy says, or at least she thinks she does.

"Yeah - it was nice to meet another real witch."

"I bet," Buffy replies and looks over at Willow, who is animatedly talking to Ms. Calendar. "You could have told me about her yesterday."

Tara tilts her head at Buffy in confusion. "I didn't want to say anything until I knew for sure if she would be willing to help."

That's not what Buffy meant, but she supposes this is not really the time to get into it. Tara and Willow are here to help her - she has no room to be hurt or angry about that.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Tara asks again. It's pretty obvious that she isn't okay but Tara chalks that up to Buffy being worried about her mom.

Before Buffy can again try to pretend like she's fine - Tara is called over to Ms. calendar, and she leaves Buffy standing alone with her spiraling thoughts.

"Yo, B. When we gonna start training?"

Buffy looks over to her and then back over to the witches. Tara is just staring at Willow, a look of complete awe and admiration on her face. Another look Buffy thought was reserved for her. "Now, I guess."

She follows Faith into the basement training area and tries to focus her mind on the present.

"What the fuck?" Faith growls as Buffy drops the pad she is holding, and Faith very nearly kicks her in the face.

"Sorry," Buffy shakes her head, trying to get in the moment. She raises the pad and motions for Faith to continue.

"Everything good with your girl?" Faith had really hoped all this nonsense was over. She was more than tired of trying to get Buffy back to herself.

Buffy shrugs, "haven't had a chance to talk to her yet."

"What are you waiting for?"

"After training." Buffy shoves the pad at Faith and barely gives her enough time to get situated before she goes on the offensive.

When the slayers made their way back upstairs after two hours of training, Buffy tried to brace herself for what would happen next. The bracing did not help at all.

Tara and Willow were sitting next to each other on the couch, both looking at a large tome on Willow's lap. Their heads were practically touching, then Tara started to laugh, and Buffy was standing outside before she knew what was happening.

"It's a little early for patrol - isn't it?" Tara is standing behind her, and Buffy practically jumps.

"Just needed some fresh air." Buffy is trying to be the bigger person here. She has no leg to stand on. She let Tara go. She has no right to be upset that Tara found someone new.

"You should come back inside. We have a plan to help your mother." Tara is smiling, and Buffy can't help but melt into that smile until she is reminded that it's not for her. "Willow is a really powerful witch. We'll have to cast the spell together, but I think it's going to work."

Buffy is definitely happy to hear that they'll be able to help her mother, but she just can't make sense of why Tara wanted to get back together with her if she was already seeing someone else.

"I thought that would make you happy?" Tara takes a cautious step closer and reaches for both of Buffy's hands.

Buffy's instinct is to pull away, but she doesn't. "I am. Thank you."

Tara tilts her head and squeezes Buffy's hands. "You don't really seem all that happy."

Buffy sighs and finally finds the willpower to pull her hands out of Tara's. "Just kinda rocked by the Willow thing, I guess."

"Willow thing? I didn't tell her who you are or anything - if that's what you're worried about."

Buffy isn't all that surprised that she wouldn't tell Willow about the girl she sort of cheated on her with. "You should probably get back in there before Faith tries to steal her from you." Buffy can hear that Faith is talking to Willow and clearly building up to something.

"Steals her... what are you talking about?"

Buffy rubs her temples, the images of Tara and Willow are still flitting through her brain, but they are starting to fade. She can barely remember why she's so convinced that something is going on between them. "It's okay, really. I just don't understand why you didn't tell me yesterday."

"What..?" Tara starts to ask again, but Buffy cuts her off.

"Look, I know I might be too late, but I really think you should give me another chance."

Tara finally thinks she understands what Buffy was thinking, but she took too long to start talking.

"I know there are a lot of negatives with dating me - the danger, the long hours, the shortened lifespan, and of course the Faith-shaped baggage I come with." Buffy was pacing back in forth now, and Tara was finding it too amusing to try and stop her. "But look, we have crazy chemistry, and I know if you give me another chance, I can make you way happier than anyone else."

Tara opened her mouth, but Buffy cut her off again. This time she stopped in front of her and reached for her hands.

"I love you," Buffy says, and Tara gasps at the intensity in her eyes, wondering if she let Buffy get herself too worked up. "Everything that is mine to give is yours. And I know how annoying Faith is, but once you get used to her - you will never find a more loyal friend. I don't know how serious things are with you and Willow, but I am willing to do anything to be with you again. If you need time to decide, I can wait. I can wait as long as you need me to."

"There is nothing going on between me and Willow." Tara quickly says before Buffy can start talking again.

"There isn't?" Buffy closes her eyes, not quite trusting what she's hearing. She had been so sure.

"Buffy, please look at me." Tara takes the risk to move forward and gently cradles Buffy's face in both of her hands. "I promise you that you are the only one that I will ever want."

Tears rimmed Buffy's eyes, and she could barely get them to focus. "She's a witch. She's going to make it past 25 - it'll be a miracle if I get anywhere near that."

Tara sighs. She hates how fatalistic Buffy is forced to be. "Did you forget which thing you were arguing for?"

Buffy's face scrunches in confusion, and Tara smiles at how cute it is.

"I love you, Buffy. With all of my being - I love you, and that is never going to change."

"You love me?" Even though this isn't the first time Tara has said it, Buffy is completely shocked to hear it.

Tara grins, "so so much." This time when she leans in, Buffy doesn't pull back.

"I love you too," Buffy replies when Tara stops the kiss, her hands still holding Buffy's face.

A loud whistle from behind Tara makes them practically jump apart.

"Damn, B. No wonder you're so hung up on this chick." Faith says as she crosses her arms over her chest and leans against the door frame. "Maybe there is something to all this love bullshit. That was hot."

Buffy wants to be annoyed. Instead, she laughs. "You are such an asshole."

"Yeah, but you love me anyway." Faith is obviously not at all offended about being called an asshole. "Now, if you two are done sucking face - we got work to do."

They go to reenter the apartment, but Faith stops Tara and pulls her back outside. "So what's Willow's deal?"

Tara laughs in relief. She was sure she was about to get threatened for upsetting Buffy again. "Deal?"

"You know, is she dating anyone?" Tara is beyond surprised that Faith hadn't already found that information out herself.

"I have no idea." Tara hadn't had any kind of personal discussions with Willow. The other witch seemed pleasant enough, and Tara definitely was in awe of her magical prowess - but that was as far as it went.

"Will you find out for me?" Tara now understands why Faith is so nervous and she tries not to laugh in Faith's face.

"I'll see what I can do." While this might be the perfect opportunity to pick on Faith the way she does everyone else - Tara decides to let this go. If Faith might be thinking about settling down and having a real relationship - Tara wanted to do everything she could to help. She wasn't sure what Buffy would think of this new development, and would have to be careful not to make her jealous.

"So, what's the deal here?" Faith asks as the two slayers watch the witches setting up various magical devices in the training area of Ms. Calendar's basement. "I thought T said we couldn't use magic to help your ma?"

Buffy sighed. She wondered why Faith was even here. She never stuck around for the spells before. "They can't fix her with magic, but they're using magic to find a way to help her."

"Huh." Faith leans into the room a little, and Buffy pulls her back. "Don't worry, I'm not gonna mess up the circle. I just wanna see what she... I mean, what they are doing."

Buffy's mouth drops open as she realizes why Faith was here. "Oh my god. You like Willow!" Buffy whispers with a laugh.

"Shut up." Faith frowned and crossed her arms over her chest.

"No chance of that happening." Buffy chides with a grin. "I can't believe I'd ever see the day that you'd have a crush on someone."

Faith clenches her teeth. "I am not in middle school. I don't have crushes."

"Could you two please be quiet or go somewhere else?" Ms. Calendar says, and Buffy snaps her mouth shut.

Buffy uses the time to think of more ways to make fun of Faith later. The worry flits through her mind that if Faith and Willow did start dating, that would mean Willow would be around a lot more often. She tries not to think the thought all the way through. But she can't help but think Faith would almost certainly screw up the relationship - which could lead to Willow fleeing Sunnydale.

Buffy shakes her head and focuses her attention on Tara. She trusts Tara and has no right to try to control who she's friends with. Tara has accepted her weird and often wildly inappropriate friendship with Faith, Buffy would have to accept Tara's friendship with Willow.

Plus, she was pretty sure she had heard Willow was going to Oxford.