Lucka remained silent while her brain adapted to the fast-shifting situation. Surrounded by the sullen light, her eyes fixed on the white ornate ceiling wall of the living room. Then, something wet and red ran from her nose. She gasped. Why do I suddenly get a nosebleed? She hurriedly put the birdcage down, snatched some sheets of tissues from the table, and kept her body forward.

She drew a steady breath from her mouth and waited until the blood stopped. She tossed the bloody tissues aside when she noticed something was different from the last time she'd gone.

Lucka was entirely distracted from her early nosebleed when her eyes swept the sight. Her stomach churned, and she got a mixed feeling from it. But, for sure, It was almost full of disgust and shock after her gaze rested on the pile of used tissues, scattered clothes, and a tied-up of weird-looking plastic things—

She rushed to the hallway. Her hands barged the door as she yelled, "RYUU! DID YOU FUCKING HAVE SEX IN THE FUCKING LIVING ROOM?!"

It didn't take long until the door opened. Ryuu was topless, only wore dark boxer briefs, and his long hair was everywhere on his bewildered face. Ryuu Hara, The Oujisama, who loved to wear his old, comfy pajamas from Derek Rose, would never sleep without clothes. And it was more than enough to blaze up her outrage. "You have a fucking bedroom! Here!" she said and threw both hands towards the door. "If you want to fuck, go to your room!"

"Lucka, mind your language!" Ryuu hushed her with bared teeth. Then he glanced back inside his room and closed the door before Lucka could steal a glance. "Damn. Hold your horses. We just moved," he whispered, dragging her to the living room. "You'll understand someday and do it everywhere." He added, "Well, except in the temple. Never do it there."

"The heck, I won't do it everywhere!" she snarled. "Do you think I'm stupid enough to be Medusa 0.2?!" She said and yanked out her hand from his grasp. "I was gone for a while, but you already brought somebody in and slept with them!" She paused, "in our living room!" She breathed and yelled again, "Zeus! You dirty old man!"

Ryuu grabbed his clothes and quickly wore them, ignoring her rants altogether. Lucka threw both of her hands in the air and shut her mouth. She watched him with annoyance. With that degenerate behavior, why bother to put them back, though?

Ryuu fixed his hair while giving her an uneasy look. It seemed like he tried to figure out how he'd say his reply. He almost looked guilty. "You randomly popped up after we did it. And she's not just somebody."

Lucka showed a perplexed look. "Huh? She? Are you cheating? With a girl? Aren't you dating that blonde twink? Who's that again? Cesar? Castor? Oh! Casper!" She muttered, "Ew, baldy ghost."

"Chester," he deadpanned as he led her upstairs to his study room, switched on the lamp, then opened the window to light up a cigarette. "He dumped me. And it was like three months ago."

While she listened to his answer, Lucka shuffled into the room and left the door half-open. Her eyes settled on him as she absently took a seat on the edge of the oak desk.

Come to think of it. Ryuu's gay love life never interested her. She didn't want to meet his lover and just wanted to ignore their 'Netflix and Chill time' whatsoever in his room. Ryuu was such a devoted person. He might need at least a year to change partners or get dumped. That's why it was such a surprise she missed the news. They roughly dated for a few months, and now he was in a relationship with a girl.

A fucking girl. A fucking human with a uterus.

There was a sharp pang in her chest, but Lucka forced herself to calm down as she said, "So after he broke your heart, you're a breeder now? Like, no more twink but a chick is okay?"

Ryuu cast her an offended look. "That's silly. I can date whoever I like."

"But she's a girl. You never date a girl! She can get pregnant! I don't want to become an aunt!" Lucka said with horror in her eyes.

Ryuu breathed out a cloud of smoke and shot her a bitter look. "Lucka, have you seen condoms there?" Ryuu pointed his hand down at the living room. Lucka nodded with a grimace. Then he continued and not bothered to cover his irritation, "I'm not stupid."

Lucka's lips pursed down, and her voice weakened. "Sure. You're stupid, Ryuu. It's not what I mean. You're at the age of getting married. You'll have kids and have your own family. The complete one, bond by blood... "

It looked like Ryuu finally caught the meaning of her words. He put out his cigarette and stood in front of her. His irritation diminished as he said with a softer tone, "Hey, I'll have a family. You'll have one too. And we'll become one big happy family."

Lucka shook her head, her eyes glued to her toe. "But it won't be the same. You'll leave me."

Ryuu sighed. "No, It shouldn't necessarily be the same. But it's not a bad change. We'll always stay together. Until the day you find a partner who can protect and love you forever," he said, stroking her head affectionately.

Lucka looked up at him with glazed eyes. "I don't trust any other man but you." She tightly gripped the table edge. With a mountain of shit that happened in Gaia, was she the one to blame? She reached out one of her hands and cupped his cheek. She knew he'd be upset later after hearing her words, but she didn't care. She was too desperate; that pain stung greater and greater. Lucka took a deep breath and said, "You're enough. Just break up with her and stay with me, Ryuu."

Ryuu's expression became sour in an instant. He firmly put back her hand on the table. "You should stop saying something like that. We can't."

Lucka had prepared various responses in her head. Yet, it was hard to maintain a stable facade. And as a result, it only left a deep glower plastered on her face. His answer always crushed her until she couldn't cope with it anymore. She said, "I'm also a girl, Ryuu. If you want kids, I can give them to you!"

Ryuu was astounded. He covered his choked mouth and stayed quiet for some time. Then, with his deep voice that went sharper, he said, "Lasya, watch your damn words. Don't cross the line. How many times should I say we can't?"

Lucka didn't budge. Not only her chest that throbbed. Her eyes felt hot. "I always thought you only like men. But today, I found out you slept with a girl!" she said and cast an intense glare at him, "did you think I won't feel betrayed?"

Ryuu looked drained. His silence only fueled up her wrath.

"THEN WHY DID YOU DO THAT!" Lucka screamed out of her lungs, tearing Samarina's quiet and peaceful night. She looked up at him; her eyes were red. They burned with sadness and resentment that she couldn't contain.

Her sudden outburst caught him off guard. And once he talked, his voice sounded so cold. He said, "What has gotten into you? It's been a while since you acted like this."

Lucka gritted her teeth. "Really? You're questioning my actions after you just betrayed me?!" she said and stood up from her seat, slamming her foot on the oak floor harshly.

Ryuu watched as the overwhelming anger consumed her. On the contrary, he collected his composure back. He approached her and closed their gap. The raging madness in her chest faded without any trail when he jerked her chin up and looked at her eyes closely. He was searching for something.

"You've been acting pretty sus, you know," he said, letting go of her and round the desk, "sit." Ryuu took out a penlight and thermometer from the drawer.

Oh bitch, he noticed.

Lucka's face fell. She hurriedly suppressed her fear and complied to have a seat on the chair. Ryuu stood before her, placed the thermometer on her ear, and examined her eyes. A thoughtful expression covered his face, which reminded her of that crisis moment.

She was in big trouble now. Her fast heartbeat was no longer from the ferocious anger. A complete dread had replaced it like an enormous, frightening storm that demolished her well-being. It was the same sensation as two years ago when Ryuu had found she'd abused the morphine supply from that Physician Emergency guy.

Lucka would never forget it. How mad and disappointed Ryuu was. And how pathetic and depressed she felt after making him feel that way. She dug her nails into her tight. Calm down, Lucka. Stay calm. Don't let Ryuu know about this.

"Open your mouth," he said.

Lucka stared at him, dumbfounded. "Huh?" Her heart fluttered even faster than before. The General's voice was suddenly singing in her head.

"Open your mouth wider."

"Open your mouth, let me check it," Ryuu said and pointed the flashlight in front of her lips.

Lucka felt a stinging pain on her skin. She didn't realize how deep her nails had sunken. Her body trembled. She shook her head, closing her mouth tightly.

Ryuu frowned in confusion. He eyed her with a skeptical look and rummaged for something from the drawer. Her eyes followed his hand as he placed the drug test on the table. Lucka glanced at it and settled her eyes at him. She tried not to swallow.

"Tell me the truth. Otherwise, I'll find it myself," Ryuu said.

"I don't have anything to say," she said, flattening her tone.

"You have a withdrawal symptom. And you had a meltdown," Ryuu said, narrowing his eyes and leaning in, "Did you use something? Should I drag you to the bathroom to have the proof?"

Shit.

"You know I'm clean! And you can't test me without my consent. I'm not under arrest, nor do I still undergo any treatment!" She said with a fake surprise. If her body couldn't lie, at least her mouth could.

"Fuck consent, Lasya. You're under suspicion," he drawled with his cold, bass voice. "Be honest," he demanded.

Lucka refused to lower her eyes. "I didn't use anything! I think I caught a cold."

"Seriously?" he said while trying to maintain his calmness. "It's not from the flu. And we both know it."

Lucka bit her inner cheeks. Should I give up? But she didn't want to disappoint him again. He'd gone through the hell door every time she relapsed. It was her responsibility. Ryuu didn't deserve the trouble.

She held her breath and lowered her head. She muttered, "You're scarier as you get older."

Ryuu snorted and reclined to the table, crossing his arm in front of his chest. There was a delay before he spoke again. It seemed like he thought of another strategy to make her spill the tea. Then, he asked with a more relaxed tone, "What did you do there? You haven't told me everything yet."

Lucka stared up at him, nervously keeping her guard on. "I... I've been working with the Turks as a secret agent."

Ryuu was genuinely shocked. "You're with The Turks? Do you like Tseng that much?"

Lucka's eyebrows were crooked. "No!" She said, "he deceived me. He's only cool in the game. But the reality? He's diabolical."

Ryuu frowned. "What? How did he deceive you?"

Lucka told the story of how she became one of them. Although, she left out the part on her first mission with the drug dealers.

Ryuu gave her an angry and concerned look when she finished. He said, "Those Shinra's dogs are real hoodlums."

Lucka nodded.

"Have they given you any dangerous task?" He asked, his cold voice softened and filled with concern.

She cleared her throat and said to dodge his question, "Joining the Turks itself is already dangerous, Ryuu."

"Of course," he said, persistent with the subject. "In the game, they've operated in various shenanigans. Have you done one?"

Uh-oh, careful Lucka.

"Yeah, lately, I've been doing a pretty complicated mission. But thank Zeus, Reno was quite helpful," she said.

"Reno? That's surprising," he said, "What did he do to help you?"

"He assisted me in collecting information from some people."

Ryuu looked reassured. "Oh? Is that so? Then I'm relieved if they didn't throw you into beast's lair and try to kill you."

Lucka blinked and nodded. "Yeah." She said with vague grief in her tone. Well, they just haven't done it yet.

Ryuu didn't miss it, though. He shifted closer and caressed her cheeks with his thumb. The irritation in his eyes was gone. Lucka tried her best not to flinch and stared back at him.

"What's wrong, Lasya? Is there something bothering you? Do you want to talk about it?" The low-pitched, calming tone now replaced the coldness in his voice.

There was a tingling sensation of hatred and despair that crushed her chest. Why would Ryuu give her all of his affection so freely? He granted such tender touch, sweet talk, and warm gaze without knowing how Lucka perceived the meaning behind it. Her blood boiled into a heap when he became intimate without caring how hard she restrained herself. In the name of familial love, in the name of they were a mere cousin.

Hence, he drew the line they couldn't cross.

But for Zeus's sake, all those things were a load of bullshit. How did she even come out of her mother's womb while the Ladon offspring decreased fastly? And perhaps, because of that, she thought she had a chance with Ryuu.

But why did he so persistent to pushed her away? Who knew? It seemed like he had different beliefs as he came from another half-family, and they had a distinct set of morality.

Lucka swallowed hard and tried to keep herself together. Nevertheless, she couldn't crumble now.

She said, "Well... Reno tortured them and ordered me to kill them in the end."

Ryuu was silent. She could hear his shallow breath as he stroked her head with his other hand. He said softly, "It must be hard for you. But you're a strong girl. You endure it well, Lasya. I'm proud of you."

Oh, you rotting coffin-dodger.

He successfully broke through.

Her hands crushed Ryuu's body after she buried her face in his chest.

No one said; it must be hard for me. Why, only you. And always be you who can understand what my true feelings are? What can I do without you? Am I a terrible person if I want all of you for myself? Am I that low?

She made his shirt all wet. Ryuu patiently waited for her to release all the sorrow in her chest while patting her back gently and murmuring soothing words.

It took her a while until she grasped her ground. She leaned back and muttered, "I hate killing people under others' orders."

Ryuu nodded, sweeping off the tears from her cheeks. "I know," he said.

She stared deeply into his eyes. Her mouth opened and shut in turns.

"It's okay. We don't need to talk about it if you're not ready," Ryuu said while removing hair strands from her face.

A drop of agony escaped again from her red eyes. "Ryuu...don't hate me..."

"I never hate you."

"Don't be mad..." she said between a sniff.

"I won't."

"Don't leave me. I only have you," Lucka grabbed a handful of Ryuu's shirt, forming a ball of iron fist on his chest.

"I won't. I'm always going to be in your corner, okay?" He said and planted a tender kiss on her forehead.

It was a final blow.

Lucka was so weak against him. Indeed, Ryuu could easily defeat her. What a shame. How pathetic she was to try to resist him.

Lucka batted her eyelash to clear her sight from tears. She tried her best to utter the words. It was too late to avoid, so she dropped it, "We... we get rid of them b-because they're… drug dealers," she whispered.

Ryuu froze. "Drug dealers," he repeated. "And?"

Lucka noticed his stiff response and caused her grasp on his shirt to tighten. "We need the information to get close to the son's boss," she choked, "and after I met him, I-I let him... drug me… " Her voice fused with the wind.

Ryuu couldn't cover the disappointment and gloom in his tone. "You let him drugged you," he murmured, "Why?"

Tears soaked her cheeks. "To process the mission, I-I need to get close to him and earn his trust." She sniffed and said, "He could easily trick me because I-I'm a bigger fool than I thought. But it was so frightening, Ryuu. I-I… j-just…I'm s…scar…." her voice lost in track, buried by her subdued cry.

There was a clash of emotions that reflected in his eyes. He looked miserable. He was mad, disappointed, and broken. And it's only made the remorse in Lucka's chest grow stronger. The grim air seized them in. She didn't dare to talk again as she gave way. Whatever response he would throw, she was ready to abide.

Ryuu was speechless. He, once again, failed to protect his beloved ward. It wasn't enough to take all the blame on himself. The body in his arm felt more fragile than the last time he hugged them. Did you skip your meal often? Had your mental health regressed? How about your insomnia? I'm not there when you needed me the most, he lamented.

Ryuu was devastated.

Now she was out of his sight. If not because of Shinra, she might die anytime from an overdose.

His jaw tightened.

No.

Ryuu shouldn't have that horrible notion. No matter what, Lucka should stay alive.

He took a deep breath and brought her chin up. He looked deeply into a pair of teary grey eyes. "Lasya," he said, "Did you take another dose after the withdrawal?"

Lucka blinked a few times. "No, Ryuu. I only took it once in the night he drugged me."

"Good," he said, "Do you have it with you? Do you know what kind of drug it is?"

Lucka nodded hesitantly. She said, "He said it's morphine and Mako."

Morphine.

And Mako? But he set it aside.

Ryuu almost laughed. He didn't know if he should feel grateful or damned after knowing she used the same demon that nearly took her life.

He desperately wanted to stop her from going back to Gaia. But Lucka had an indispensable responsibility there. She should complete it to get half of the information he hid from her, which he didn't plan to tell her soon. He despised the way her late parents protected her. But a promise was a promise. And to let her find the answer by herself was the only thing he could do.

Ryuu's expression became pensive. "Okay. It's a good thing we're still in the early stage. But your body has adapted to the substance, Lasya. If we're not careful, it'll build up the resistance and lead to overdose, like before. So I'm begging you, please sign up for the rehabilitation center there."

Lucka's eyes widened. She went mute.

"Lasya, we face a serious problem here. And I can't watch over you." he said, "Does any of the Turks know your condition?"

Lucka shook her head gloomily. "No. I don't want them to know. Like I've said before, we have an agreement that I'll act accordingly in exchange for protection from Hojo."

Ryuu's mouth gaped slightly. Ah, how frustrating. He asked, "How about Sephiroth?"

Her eyes suddenly filled with fear. She nodded, "Yes, Sephiroth knows."

Ryuu questioned her expression while he asked carefully, "Can you ask him to be your guardian?"

"No!" Lucka burst out and quickly added, "I mean, he's a busy person. I can't take his precious time to babysit me."

He noticed her reply was odd. But Ryuu didn't pay too much attention to it. They had a more important matter to deal with. "Then do it discreetly. You're a Turk now. I believe you can do something about it. And you may be able to become an outpatient because we've done it before," he said, "so, can I trust you? We don't have any alternative option."

Ryuu knew it was a burden to rely on herself if she didn't have a keeper. But gladly, he found determination in her eyes as she gave him a slight nod.

"Please, keep your promise for this time," he said.

"Yes, I promise, Ryuu. You can trust me."

Ryuu gave a relieved nod and embraced her.

This time, you better keep your promise sincerely. If not, Lasya. If you fail to save yourself, I definitely can't live the miserable life that led me to my own grave.

They stayed there hugging each other for a while. Then Lucka stood up and wiped the drying tears off her cheeks. She said,

"Ryuu, can you please look after my college leave? I don't know how long I'll be staying in Gaia. After the summer break, it'll be complicated if I don't take the leave."

Ryuu nodded. "Sure, I'll arrange it for you. How long do you want to take the leave?"

"One year," she murmured.

Ryuu nodded again and brushed her cheek. "I'll miss you a lot. Don't forget to come home once in a while. It's your birthday soon. Let's celebrate it together."

"You won't miss me that much, Ryuu. You have a new girlfriend," Lucka said with a lingering bitterness in her tone.

Ryuu's face fell. "Can you give me a break?" he huffed. "I deeply regret that I hurt your feelings."

Lucka cast her gaze away. Her lips pursed down. "Chanel 19 bag in light purple. And 2017 Miss Dior Eau de Parfum. I don't want the 2021 one. If you can't find it, I won't forgive you."

Ryuu quirked his eyebrows. What? Do you want another bag and perfume? He bemused. Even though they both came from an affluent family (not to mention all of the Circe family wealth was on her), such an extravagant lifestyle wasn't that enticing for him. Ryuu chose to raise her in a mindful and humble life instead. There was a time when Lucka became a shopaholic because her mental illness relapsed. Though It didn't last long after she went back into therapy, gotten better, and he'd bitching about it, nonstop. But in another occurrence, whenever she asked for a bribe as an apology, he could say no more. He would regard it as a treat. And a birthday gift this time.

"Alright," he said, shrugging.

Lucka stared at him with gleeful eyes. "Terrific. My old man is so cool." She said, "Anyway, I left the Chicobo on the living room's table. Tell Euriale, don't she dare to eat him."

It was good to know the heavy atmosphere had left them. Ryuu sneered and said, "Silly. She won't. She'll take care of her new collection and show it off to the entire Olympus."

"Yes, she loves to make the Gods envy," She said.

"But I'm afraid it'll lead to another war," Ryuu said playfully.

Lucka managed to put on an amused smile, nodding, and said, "Ryuu, can I take your favorite book with me?" She inclined her head to a tiny old book the size of her palm on the table.

Ryuu raised his eyebrows. "Absolutely. Please take it with you." He took the book and handed it to her. "But why do you want to bring it so suddenly?"

Lucka hugged the book close to her chest. She swung her toes back and forth. Her cheeks now flushed with the color of a pale rosebud. Every time he looked at the gesture, he found how adorable she was, just like an angel.

His forever little angel.

She said, "I want to bring a piece of you with me. For a reminder that I belong here. I have you waiting for me."

Ryuu's eyes softened, and his heart melted. "Yes, Lasya. I'm here waiting for you."

Suddenly, it was that look again. Ryuu barely recognized that sign. It was like the last time she'd gone. He didn't know how to put that into words, but it seemed she felt something when Sephiroth summoned her back.

Lucka nodded and tiptoed to give him a peck on the cheek. She mumbled shyly, "Until next time, Ryuu. Love you."

Ryuu hummed, watching her fading slowly and answering in his mind.

Love you too.