Carmen, Act I: No.5 Habanera : L'amour est un oiseau rebelle
Lucka didn't lose the book! It was such a great mood booster. The feelings made her like to dress up a bit this morning. She playfully twirled around in front of the mirror. She didn't wear her uniform because today was her first day off work. Instead, she wore comfortable casual clothes. It was a combination of a loose, button-up crop-top sweater in khaki with a low-cut collar and her signature pleated short skirt in deep burgundy. She tied up her hair into a messy, high ponytail and left out some strands on the side of her face.
Lucka left her house and finally arrived at headquarters. It was nine in the morning. Although the building was still quite empty, she knew the General was already inside his office.
Lucka glared a moment longer at his office door. She was unfazed a moment ago. But after recalling last night's conversation with the General, she realized they'd be alone again in his territory. And it was already the third time she withdrew her hand from the door. If she asked him to come out to the hallway, would he do it? He just needed to hand her the book anyway.
Nevermind. I'll scream if he tries doing something lewd again to me. It is the headquarters. He wouldn't dare to do something inappropriate, would he? She gathered all her courage and finally knocked on the door. When his familiar husky voice let her in, Lucka spotted the General was moving from the window to his desk.
Today, he didn't wear his SOLDIER uniform. He wore a white dress shirt and black chinos instead. Her eyes caught how his muscles moved behind the garment that clad his toned body. Oh, how I'll make a lot of Gil if I can steal a photo, one or two.
"Please take a seat," he said.
Lucka shook her head. "No, thanks. I won't take long."
The General scanned her from head to toe. He said, "Do you have an undercover mission?"
"No. I'm off," Lucka said, extending her hand, "Please give me the book."
The General reached out for the book she was looking for. He took it from the pile of his paperwork and brought it to his side. And he stopped there as he didn't make a move again.
Lucka eyed the book and then his face. She blinked while their silence spoke. An annoyed frown formed on her eyebrows as she cautiously stepped closer. She reached out to take the book. But he brought the book higher from her reach.
Lucka said, "General. Quit playing around. I need the book. Now."
The General only stared back at her. "Who is Ryuu?" he asked.
Lucka shot him a scowl. What. Did you read it without my permission? She said between her strained lips, "It's none of your business."
The General lowered his eyes in belittle fashion. He was trying to dismiss her resistance by coercing her with his authority again. "Who is he?" He repeated.
Lucka blinked, still trying to resist him. "My significant other."
"Lucka. I don't think that I need to repeat myself three times," he said with a menacing gesture with a thick, heavy tone that invited chills to her bone.
From his response, Lucka decided not to confront him further. Because the last time she did that, she was doomed. She grumbled, "My cousin."
Seems satisfied, The General hummed in a low voice. Then he asked, "Why did you say 'Zeus' yesterday? Who is he to you?"
Lucka frowned. Ah, seriously. His inquisitions are bothersome. "He's my God," Lucka said, "C'mon.. The book," she extended her hand again. But the General was so tall it was almost impossible to take the book from his hand.
"Why are you telling me a character's book is your God?" He asked with a mocking tone, staring down at her.
She wasn't even short for a woman, but every time she stood in front of him like this, somehow, he always made her feel like a dwarf.
She gave in and said, "Look, General. As for me, he's not a character from the book. Because if you read that book and remembered my story about the goddess Hera, Zeus is her husband. He is one of the three ruling Gods in my world."
"Ah, so it's the same Hera." He nodded like he had considered it before. "But still. The God and Goddesses are confusing. How can you believe they're real?"
"Ugh. I can't agree more. But The Gods are real! Zeus has helped me once in his human form."
The General seems interested in her chatter. He asked, "He did?"
Lucka nodded. And before she could stop herself from oversharing, she told him the story. "I was 15 when I met him. It was late at night when Ryuu and I separated in the middle of the fight with the Heracles," she said, "then he popped up out of nowhere with lightning thunder. After he helped me, he wanted to make me one of his concubines once I entered adulthood."
The General raised his eyebrows as he was fascinated with the story. "Do you agree with him?"
"Of course not! Zeus is a God whore," she said while rubbing her upper arms. Even though she held respect for the ruler of God, despite him being Heracles' father, this side of him was so problematic. She continued, "and even if I agree, I'll oppose Hera, and it will, for sure, lead to a big, big war! Heracles is Zeus' illegitimate child. And Hera, as my actual patron, despised it so much. How can I stab her in the back?"
The General tilted his head as if he liked her little entertainment. He put the book back on the desk. Lucka's eyes illuminated as she moved aside to take it. But when her hand had barely touched the edge, she heard the General's deep, enchanting voice was right at her back.
He murmured, "I wonder, how did he come up with such an idea after he helped you out?"
Lucka held her breath.
"You've got a pretty neckline," he purred to her ear.
Goosebumps rose when his warm knuckles caressed the side of her neck, leaving a hot trail behind. Lucka's foot was rooted on the ground. Her body dead froze.
Shit.
She was distracted just a moment, and look what he'd already done. Her initial plan to scream failed. The dread sealed her mouth.
Lucka's wavered eyes bored the lining of books on the bookshelf. She listened to her own fast and loud heartbeat in her ear. Her body trembled while her mind became hazy from the building anxiety and terror. Then, as he wasn't satisfied enough to only stand behind her, he placed both of his arms on the desk at her side. The air around her soon became stifling from his dangerous proximity. Chills jabbed her back while she found herself completely paralyzed from the new position—not that she could move anyway because he had succeeded in trapping her.
"I can feel you're clearer now," the General whispered to her ear. His voice was painfully tantalizing. Like he knew how to use the best out of it and made it even spicier. He murmured, "Will I go crazy if I can feel your innermost?"
Lucka almost stifled. It was only a few days ago he'd assaulted her. How on Earth could he say something extremely vulgar now? A bead of sweat formed on the side of her forehead. Suddenly the room felt so big, and the mere existence of him overwhelmed her. It was like reliving a trauma. But no matter how terrified she was, they couldn't stay forever in this circumstance. What if he did something cruder? And if she didn't fight back, he'd think he had the upper hand on this whole harassing situation.
Lucka took a deep breath like she was about to dive into the fathomless cold ocean. She mustered her might to conquer her fear and focus on the current issue. She closed her eyes, her mouth open midways. Words, Lucka. Words. Remember, speak. Tell him you don't want this. You never ask for this.
Her palm curled so tight as she opened her eyes for another second and mumbled, "L… let…let m-me go." Lucka blinked. A thin, delicate string of hope wafted over her. Suddenly she regained her self-confidence after uttering the words. Lucka said again in a firmer tone, "L-let go of me, you jerk."
The warmth of his presence left, replaced by the cold air that embraced her. Lucka celebrated her freedom silently. But it was only a brief moment of relief. As she snatched the book and turned around, she felt her feet didn't reach the ground. Instead, she felt the sturdy surface of the desk against her butt.
She gasped when she found the General trapped her again for the second time with a more daring move. He leaned in, resting his arms beside her with uncanny, eagle eyes that were eager to consume her. Lucka shuddered. Fuck. It almost looks like he'd rail me right here right now. Lucka fell into astonishmentas a sudden moment of realization hit her. He is the type who likes those who are defiant. And I've dug my own grave by provoking him.
"Have you forgotten our new agreement, Lucka?" The General said, getting closer to her with the unchangeable expression, "that dirty little mouth. Do you want to know what I can do with it?" the General's hand slowly untied her hair and watched them falling like a frail, white feather carried by the wind. "You've tasted this," he said and brushed her lower lip with his thumb. "Do you want to know the taste of another part of my body?" He said as he lowered his eyes. Lucka's eyes followed the movement. Her face went pallid.
Fucking. Zeus. And the Gods of Olympus.
She was dumbstruck. The General words were beyond her forbearance. It was better if this bastard pointed his steel sword at her neck rather than verbally harassing her with an obscene statement. Now that she couldn't shake the notion of his other sword near her throat.
The dam of her tears was about to break.
"Lucka, your answer?" he insisted.
Lucka kept her silence with her eyes drilled to the ground. She sat there like a pretty, lifeless statue. She clutched the book close to her chest like it was her last savior while her body trembled more and more as every second passed.
She could feel the oppressive gaze of the General. But she was busy using her energy to mend her frail mental state instead of looking back at him. So she could only wait.
Just you see, General. If you do something reprehensible that'll be the end of our haphazard, dysfunctional relationship because I'll demand your accountability for every damage you've done. Or, if you decided to stop here, making lesser destruction, then we can continue our almost falling apart reconciliation. And It'll be the last time I give my forgiveness and tolerance to you.
It was her silent ultimatum.
"Lucka," he cut through her reverie and brushed her cheeks with his knuckles, "Words."
Her body tensed up from another skinship. Words. Yes, Lucka, words.
But Lucka was on the verge of throwing up. The touch was the last fuel to explode her cognitive walls, where the fake utopia—a belief that none could ever ruin her—resided in her mind, crumbling down. The stomach acid nearly burnt her lung. Her head became lighter as every brain cell became wayward. Ah, not again. Not now. She wasn't ready to have another attack. But was she ever ready to have it?
She tried opening her mouth again and stammered, "I… I– " It was then. Before she could pull any words, her head snapped towards the sound of a sudden burst of the opened door.
Genesis said midway, "Seph–"
Their eyes met. Again. Like a Deja Vu.
And without realizing it, she exposed her raw emotions to the surface. Genesis' early puzzled gaze changed into a flooding rage. And as if his fury sparked her strength, she pushed off the General with all of her might and bolt out of the room.
Angeal was startled when someone crashed into him in the hallway. Their bodies almost collapsed together. But he quickly fixed his posture and grabbed the person's hands.
"M-my a-apologies!" she said.
Angeal looked down and found Lucka gasping for air.
It was the first time he saw such an expression from her. Her eyes were round big. Sweat covered her forehead, and her body trembled violently. It was like she had met a monster. But didn't she just come out from the General office direction? "It's okay. What's wrong, Lucka?" He asked.
Lucka shook her head and released his hand hurriedly. "N-no. Nothing. Bye Angeal," she said and left him standing there baffled.
Angeal scratched his nape and rushed toward Sephiroth's office room. But he became so perplexed when he found Genesis was grabbing Sephiroth's shirt in a threatening way.
"You son of a bitch!" One of Genesis' fists was a second away from Sephiroth's nose.
Angeal quickly squeezed himself between the two.
"Genesis! It's still early, and you already picked up a fight?!" Angeal said with a stern, admonished tone.
"This bastard started first!" Genesis tried to shove Angeal away and surged again towards Sephiroth.
Angeal didn't expect the two would start a fight just after Genesis' last accident. He kept the angry commander at arm's length and asked Sephiroth, "Is that true, Seph?"
"I haven't done anything to him," Sephiroth said impassively.
"You fucking harassed Lucka!" Genesis crouched forward, making a stance.
Angeal was bewildered. He snapped his head to Sephiroth. He asked, "Seph?"
There was silence.
"This jerk won't admit he harassed her and almost made her get a panic attack!" Genesis seethed and ready to lunge again.
Angeal quickly acted. He gripped Genesis' uninjured shoulders and made him halt his furious pace. "Genesis, calm down. Violence isn't the answer," he said, dragging the flaming commander away from Sephiroth's direction, creating a wider gap.
Genesis slapped Angeal's hand. Though somehow the anger appeased, venom drenched his gaze. "I'm watching you," he snarled and rushed to the hallway.
The room was dead quiet shortly afterward.
Sephiroth flinched when Angeal cleared his throat to haul him back from his fixed gaze on the floor.
"I saw Lucka come out from your office with a terrified look," Angeal cautiously said, "did you two get into a quarrel?"
"Quarrel?" Sephiroth mimicked. "Not quite," Sephiroth mumbled and averted his gaze. He flopped down on the edge of his desk. The way he seated himself was already an indication to Angeal that he was troubled.
Angeal settled down on one of the armchairs. He opened his arms and shrugged. "I'm listening," he said. And they both knew once Angeal had said the line, he was ready to hear out his thoughts without any judgments. He knew him so well. Sephiroth could be overly sensitive at times. Being snarky wasn't considered an option to reckon with his actions.
The room was crammed with silence before Sephiroth's fingers absently trailed the desk's metal border. Angeal eyed his gesture and noticed how he refused to look at him. People might believe he remained indifferent. But Angeal could capture the merest ambivalent inside him.
Sephiroth made a repeated circle motion with his index finger. His gaze was on the floor. There was another delay before he sighed and said, "I'm not my usual self when she's around."
Angeal lifted his eyebrows in surprise. "Why? Has she done something you find unpleasant?" he asked. This one friend was the most stoic and collected person he ever knew. He even could condone Genesis' overbearing. It was true that Lucka was nothing less than plucky. But he'd never imagined a single teen would bring a significant influence to his mannerism.
"No. It's not in a way I found it bothersome." He divulged, "rather, it's been exhilarating." Sephiroth paused with an unfocused gaze and murmured, "Well, no. It's been like this from the first time we met."
Angeal eyebrows wrinkled. Without context, it'd sound like Sephiroth was confessing an affectionate feeling. He still hadn't fully comprehended where this would lead them. He said, "Then why does she make you don't feel like your usual self?"
"I don't have the slightest idea," he said. "When you call out creatures out of Materia, a connection formed. It's the same with her." Sephiroth spared a glance. Angeal nodded. He continued, "From the start, the bond is almost nonexistent. But then It's building up, getting bizarre, and I can't fully control it."
He can't fully control it? Sephiroth, the great General?
He'd witnessed how frightened Lucka was when she bumped into him. And Genesis said Sephiroth had harassed her. Then the man himself said, 'it had always been exhilarating.' So if Angeal relied on his observation, it'd be directed to an indecent attestation. He stared at him and thought, It can't be what I thought, right?
"Does it have something to do with Genesis' words?" He asked calmly and tried to sound as neutral as possible.
Sephiroth went silent for a long time. His jaw clenched tight. Angeal let it hang until he was ready to venture out of his mind. Then with the barest of defensiveness, he murmured, "I never have any intention to harm her..."
Angeal watched his mouth open mid-air to search for the next word. His silvery locks cover half of his face. Behind it, his eyes burned at the tip of his toe.
Angeal patiently waited for him to go on. But when he didn't, he asked, "But?" At the corner of his eyes, Angeal spotted his finger twitching.
Sephiroth took a slow, deep breath. "It just… Something…There's a tenacious urge whenever I look at her," he murmured.
"What urge?" he asked, spelling every syllable carefully.
Sephiroth's jaw clenched tighter than before. There came no answer.
Angeal couldn't read his mind, nor did he want to corner him. But whatever assumption he had should be validated by Sephiroth's confession. And he needed to offer him the safest environment to bring it out.
"Seph," Angeal soothed, "It's alright."
Sephiroth's eyes quivered at him. Finally, he dared to lay bare what had been hiding in his eyes. No words were spoken, but Angeal could apprehend what kind of turbulence ravaged his mind.
Seph. This cad.
So what he was afraid of truly happened.
Angeal expelled a deep sigh. There was another silence while he thought of lesser offensive words to utter. "Seph," he said, "It's a fact that we regard Materia and its creature as our possession," he paused, watching how Sephiroth's body tensed. "But Lucka has her consciousness. She's a living human like us. You can't count her as any other commandeered Materia."
Sephiroth's eyelashes fluttered when he lowered his gaze. He gave no response, so Angeal decided to wrap up their conversation to let him contemplate.
Angeal stood and said, "I don't know what happened between you two. But if you didn't mean to harm her, it's better to clear up the misunderstanding." He patted his shoulder and took his leave.