Life is sad.
…
And so is love.
But-
That's why it'll never last.
Sold Love
I didn't open my eyes.
He's probably not here.
I think I'd rather stay here the whole day than walking around without him- alone.
Since his presence still lingered here.
His scent, his comfort was still next to me, and I didn't want to leave.
I opened my eyes
And he was gone.
Probably off to work like his every day's schedule. Something I couldn't handle.
I walked to the bathroom, took a long shower and feeling hunger I walked into the kitchen.
"Finally-"
He was there, with a cup of coffee and a cigarette soaked on his lips.
"Wha-What are you doing here?"
"I didn't feel like going to work."
His rebellious answer.
I smiled and sat down, reaching for his coffee and taking a sip.
Then an awkward silence.
"S-stop staring at me,"
I muttered, he smirked.
"Let's go somewhere."
He stood up and held my hand back to the room to get ready.
His lips tasted bittersweet.
-Drenched in a cigarette smile, left in the morning coffee, but something citrus and sweet.
"What did you eat in the morning?"
I asked with his arms still around my waist. He's probably laughing at me since I stopped the kiss to ask him such a stupid question.
"Coffee." He answered quietly trying to continue the kiss.
"Before that." I was annoying.
"Orange juice." He muttered.
Hm. No wonder.
I smiled and kissed him back.
This feeling shouldn't disappear for a while.
We changed into light clothing and went down to the parking lot.
"Mr. Kaiba-"
"I'm going out."
He spoke shortly, at the same time placing his arm on my shoulder leading me towards the car.
I finally got the courage to ask; when we were out on the street.
"Where are we going?"
He didn't answer. Just drove and never looked at me. I sat quiet. Damn- I hate silence.
An empty park. Shit, more silence.
"Follow me."
And I did, up and down and corners and turns slowly realizing that this- was a cemetery.
Death was a cold word.
Every time I thought of me aging, disappearing forever in this world-
It scared me. The fact that I once lived, but will vanish like thin air; I'm not an action figure but a human with a lost soul.
That my life was wasted even if was a chance. Wanting to cry I rubbed my eyes and saw Seto just standing there.
"Here I am."
He still spoke short, simple words.
"Where-"
I stopped.
The stone inscribed, Mokuba Kaiba, and carved in beautifully.
I couldn't stop myself from crying.
It wasn't dirty like the other stones, yellow flowers were tied onto the stone and looked fresh and beautiful as if someone came here everyday. It wasn't hard to find out whom.
I found my place and looked up, searching in the corner of my eye to look at him.
He was smiling.
Looking onto that carved name, smiling that's full of tears.
I held onto his sweater, grasping on the back.
I thought if I was to let go- I'd fall down in a restless manner.
"Cry for me."
I heard him whisper.
I cried my heart out.
The day only began and it felt like one of the longest days. I just know I stood there crying until Seto hugged me back to reality.
He started walking and I only followed, this time carefully looking at each gravestone like a precious jewel.
I guess we're leaving now.
He walked, I walked- he walked, I stopped.
"Jounouchi-"
What the hell was this?
Why is his name on here?
I knelt in front of it, in fact- I fell down to see it.
It was him- his birth date, but wait- he died on the day I was,
What is this?-!
Then my eyes started to water again, what the fuck happened?
Why is his name carved on the gravestone? Why was he buried in here?
I don't know- I don't know-
I'm scared, I just don't know, and I-
"I killed him."
Bitter words.
Poisonous and broken.
His love was bitter, poisonous and broken.
It won't last. It'll disappear.
I felt myself slowly choking on my tears, coughing my lungs out.
"What the hell are you talking about?"
I asked desperately, thinking, no-begging for him to stop.
"You should be thankful that I buried his ass."
His voice was cold. He was mad, angry.
"Thankful for what? Killing an innocent man?"
I screamed. Somebody stop me. Somebody stop this.
"My own fucking father?"
"Didn't you just see Mokuba? He was buried, dead! Because of that bastard, because of him he's dead! Look at you! Your wrist, your bloody marks god damn it, your own body is bruised because of that man- I only saved you!"
Stop.
No- Don't scream at me.
Don't yell at me.
I can feel pain coming back at me. Memories overwhelming, headaches and heartaches.
"I killed him for your sake!"
I already know that.
No. No. Don't make me the bad one.
"STOP!"
I ran away. I don't know where the hell I'm going but I don't care.
As long I can get away. Just stop.
I'm scared.
I once said, I gamble people's lives.
This wasn't different.
He sold his own son for some drugs.
I called that man pathetic and I laughed about his poor son that will only die in my hands.
This made me happy.
Without anything else, I would be happy living like this.
But- this son was different, this child, fragile-broken figure was nothing and now- everything.
His father was immediately killed after his small dose of his favorite drug. It was his death wish and I granted it.
If only I knew his son's death wish.
I saw Katsuya running away. My hand reached, my heart cried, but my body didn't.
I kept track of him, watching where he was running off to.
He crossed the street and I got into my car, following him secretly.
This place was confusing and I know he'd get lost without me.
Without me.
I don't know where I was going.
The tears seem to drug me, controlling me- directing me to go anywhere I have no intention going.
I started to see more people out now and I can tell some were staring at me as I pass by.
Seeing a stranger with red eyes probably freaked the hell out of them.
Did I care?
No, I don't give shit.
I just no I have to get away from a murderer-
A lover.
I cried more, thinking about him and what he did to me.
I feel drunk in my own disappointment.
I'm weak, stressed, and shattered.
"Jou?"
I slowly turn to see who called out my name.
"B-Bakura…"
He hugged me, I caught a hold of myself and cried on his shoulders.
I stopped the car, saw him almost fall.
He was so weak, I had to get off and help him.
And I saw him hug Bakura.
This fic is going to be angst.
THANK YOU FOR REVIEWS AND HOPED YOU ENJOYED!
by the way. thank you for ideas- i'll try to squeeze every little bit of it in the next chapters.