"She's waking up." Jack replied.
"I don't care what I said to Hugh, take me to her, Jack. I need to be at the hospital." Sam started walking away from the door behind which objects could be heard being dragged away, relief flowing through her like molten lava, thawing the icy fear which had gripped her core.
"It's not that simple, Sam. She's still very confused, she didn't recognise Abi, doesn't remember what happened…and she's asking for Tessa, whether anyone's let her know, whether she was hurt. She thinks she and Tessa are still together." Jack ran a hand over his chin, feeling day old stubble prickle his palm as he broke the news to Sam. He watched as her movements stilled and she stopped dead in her tracks.
After a long moment, she sighed, "I still need to be there, to hear what the doctors have to say. Even if she doesn't remember, my feelings are still the same for her." She tried to bite back the tears, her dilemma increasing as the door behind her opened and the first of the hostages was released. "Get me out of here… now before he realises something's wrong." Sam pleaded with her governor, unable to stop her bottom lip from quivering and a single tear from escaping down her cheek.
"Sarge, what are you doing here?" Jo hoarsely questioned Sam as she slipped quietly into the bay in which the brunette lay. Sam smiled sadly at the use of her old rank, a sure sign that many things were escaping Jo's memory.
"It's DI Nixon now, but always Sam to you." The doctors had warned Sam not to force too much onto Jo if she didn't remember it, that given time her memory might come back on its own.
"How long will it take? Are we talking hours? Days? Weeks? How long?" Sam had pushed for an answer.
"We can't possibly put a definite time frame on recovering Miss Masters' memories, indeed we can't guarantee that those lost will ever return. The brain is a remarkable but ultimately mysterious organ, DI Nixon. Sometimes, amnesia is a temporary state, to ease the sufferer back into waking life or to protect from a particularly traumatic event. Other times, it is a permanent and irreversible condition. At this stage, there really is no telling how Miss Masters will recover." The baby-faced neurosurgeon had informed her.
Sam was roused from her reverie by an awareness of expectant quiet in the small room, broken only by the monitors still tracing Jo's heartbeat. "I missed that, sorry."
"I said, since when did they make you Detective Inspector? Is that what you get now for interfering in someone else's business and ruining a perfectly good working relationship?" Sam was at a loss how to answer that, unsure as to what Jo was referring. Deciding honesty was for the best, she bit the bullet.
"You've lost me, what did I do?" Mistaking Sam's confusion for insolence, Jo's temper flared. She struggled to pull herself up from the bed, falling back as pain and nausea washed over her, a coughing fit seizing her and stealing her breath for long moments.
When she had recovered enough to speak, Jo hissed, "Seth Mercer, that give you a hint at all? You lost me the best snout I ever had! Steaming in with your 'I-know-everything' attitude." Jo spoke through gritted teeth as the pain in her chest failed to ease.
"Are you ok? Want me to get a doctor?" Sam reached out instinctively, forgetting in an instant that Jo could not remember their relationship, soon recalling that little snippet as Jo recoiled from her touch.
"What the hell happened? Why will no one explain what I'm doing here? And where's Tessa?" Jo's heart rate began climbing in her distress. Hoping that removing herself from Jo's presence would prove to be a balm to the brunette's raw nerves, Sam made a move to leave. "See, you're just as bad as the doctors. As soon as I start asking anything they can't get out the door fast enough either." Sam turned to look at Jo, hearing the heart monitor begin to beep dangerously quickly.
"Jo, listen to me, you need to calm down sweetheart. There was an accident. You were on a bridge trying to stop a woman from jumping when it collapsed. We didn't find you for a couple of hours, you'd dragged yourself out of the river and wandered off into some woods. You've got multiple rib fractures and a fractured skull from the fall as well as hypothermia from being in the water and wet clothes for so long." Sam ignored Jo's confused expression at her insistence to soothe her, tenderly stroking her cheek with the backs of her fingers, hoping that if Jo demanded an explanation she could brush it off as platonic concern. After a few moments, Jo stopped struggling, her heart rate slowly descending to calmer levels once again. "Try and keep still, it's going to take a while for you to mend."
"Tessa's going to love having me under her feet full time, I don't think. How long before I can get back to work?" Jo asked, stifling a yawn. "Did you just call me sweetheart?" Her eyes narrowed a little as Sam retracted her hand sheepishly.
The blonde DI decided to ignore Jo's final question, not knowing how to answer it without having to explain the previous few months to her in detail. "Take each day as it comes, we'll see how you heal before deciding on anything. For now, you need to rest." Sam straightened beside the bed, conflicted as to whether to draw up the chair and stay or leave Jo alone to recuperate, her heart contracting at the thought of not being able to share the closeness she had come to rely on with Jo.
"You never told me how long you've been DI for. How did I miss that? Where's Neil? Come to think of it, who's the new sergeant in your place?" Jo's pulse began to climb once again as panic gripped her, searching her memory drawing more blanks than answers to her questions.
"Tomorrow we can talk about all that. For now you're exhausted and your body needs time to recover. I'm going to see if there's a doctor around to give you something to help you sleep." Sam turned to leave, her own pulse soaring as a familiar feeling hand wrapped itself around her wrist preventing her retreat.
"Please…don't leave me…I'm scared. Why can't I remember anything?" Sam perched on the bedside about to begin talking to Jo once again when the door swung open and a nurse entered to check Jo's obs, clucking at Sam and reprimanding her for exciting the patient before bustling off to find a doctor.
"You gave your head quite a battering, Jo. Add the hypothermia on top of concussion and you're bound to have a few gaps for a day or two. Give yourself chance to come round properly, everything should start slotting back into place in time." Sam smiled sympathetically at the worried detective, normally so strong, looking like a frightened child lying in the hospital bed. "Come on, you settle down and try to get some sleep. I'll sit with you 'til you drop off, if you like?" After receiving tentative agreement from Jo, Sam pulled the chair she had already spent hours in up to the bedside, settling herself in, holding onto Jo's outstretched hand. As Jo drifted off to sleep, Sam stared at the brunette's profile, trying to imagine not waking up beside her, never feeling the joy of lovemaking with her again, nor the simple pleasure of sharing a meal or curling up together on the sofa in front of a movie. Tears streamed down her face as she mourned the loss of the beautiful love they had shared. The nurse returned with a doctor in tow, inviting Sam to leave for a few hours while Jo rested, suggesting she herself might also benefit from some sleep. Instead the blonde DI made her way through the hospital in search of Abi, knowing that she owed her daughter some sort of explanation both about Jo and also Hugh.
"Mum, how's Jo? She asked who I was, was saying some really weird things, acted like she didn't know me at all, kept asking for that no-good two timing cow, Tessa." Abi was still wide awake when her mother slipped into the cubicle, pausing briefly beside Joey's cot to watch him sleeping.
"The bang on the head's making her a bit confused at the moment. Things are a bit fuzzy for her. We need to give her time to recover before we know anything for sure." Abi thought she heard the 'but' coming but Sam made no further effort to speak.
"But…? She does know Tessa dumped her for that jerk she works with right? That you and her are engaged? That you worship the ground she walks on? Tell me she does remember you, Mum." Abi swung her legs out from beneath the covers, patting the bed beside her inviting Sam to join her.
"Oh she remembers me alright… as the back stabbing, egotistical bitch who lost her a perfectly good informant because I wouldn't listen to what she was telling me. Beyond that… nothing." Fresh tears washed over Sam's cheeks as her daughter wrapped a loving arm around her shoulders.
"She will remember though, right? It's just temporary cos of the bang on the head yeah?" Abi asked, firing the questions rapidly, not able to begin to imagine losing a whole chunk of her memories.
"That's something only time will tell," Sam replied dejectedly.
"Phil, how did you get on with Lisa?" Jack spotted the tired-looking sergeant leaving the building as he arrived.
"Her brief decided that she was too emotional to continue after you left, said we had to let her get some rest and start again this morning. James King was off his head so he's sleeping like a log getting it out of his system before we can interview him. How did things go at the prison? Any more news on Jo's condition yet?" Despite having stayed to help out with the investigation long after his shift had ended, Phil was in no tearing hurry to get home, the emptiness in Cindy's absence taking some getting used to.
"Hugh agreed to let the hostages go when Sam promised to talk to him about getting Abi to agree to taking Joseph along to visit him regularly. The first three were released as agreed but by that time Sam and I were on our way back to the hospital. They called to say Jo had come round, Sam insisted on being with her instead of staying and keeping her promise to Hugh. When Hugh saw no sign of her, he kicked off again, ranting about not trusting her. His little fit sparked the tempers of the other prisoners. The riot mob went in to try and get the final hostage out but he was already dead by the time they got to him. I don't think Hugh's going to be getting out of there any time soon, he might not have stabbed the guy himself but he certainly contributed to his death." Jack explained, checking his watch and wondering if Sam would be in for her shift.
"I bet Hugh's real popular with the guards down at Longmarsh. But Jo's ok yeah? She up to visitors?" Phil asked thinking he could call in at the hospital on his way home.
"I think it's best if we wait and let Sam let us know when she's up to having visitors. I didn't actually see her last night, I just dropped Sam off, thought it best they have some time alone. Jo doesn't remember anything about what happened, or it seems from the few months before it either. When she woke up, she was asking for Tessa, she's convinced they're still together." Jack followed Phil's line of sight, watching as Sam parked her car in her usual spot.
"How's Sam doing? I mean, that must be pretty hard on her, being engaged to someone who doesn't remember you're even in a relationship." Phil lowered his voice as the blonde in question hauled herself out from behind the wheel and locked up, striding towards the entrance and both men.
"You know Sam, I don't suppose any of us will ever really know how she's dealing with it." Jack replied as Phil raised his chin in greeting to his colleague and friend.
"Morning Guv. How's Jo?"
Sam looked from one expectant face to the other before answering. "I phoned the hospital this morning, they said she's had a comfortable night whatever that means. Her parents have arrived so at least there's someone with her."
"Jack was telling me it's affected her memory. Can she remember anything?"
"I don't have all the answers at the minute Phil. It was late last night when she woke up, I didn't talk to her for long. She wasn't too happy when she saw me, her last memory of me is my scaring off Seth Mercer. The doctors are planning on doing more tests today, I'll call in after my shift, see how she is." Sam signalled the end of the conversation, continuing her walk into the station, feeling her brittle emotions threatening to crack. She hadn't slept for more than an hour after finally leaving the hospital, her bed feeling alien and empty without Jo's comforting warmth beside her. By 5am, she had given up all hope of sleep, gathering her sports bag and heading to the gym for a brutal workout before dashing home to shower and change ready for work.
"Mum! Dad! When did you get here?" Jo struggled to pull herself into a sitting position, falling back against the pillows as her mother placed a hand on her shoulder, discouraging movement, and a wave of nausea and pain swept through her head and chest.
"About an hour ago. How are you feeling?" Alice Masters fussed over her daughter, rearranging the covers on the bed before smoothing Jo's hair back from her face and clasping a bruised hand between her own.
"Apart from the gaping great holes in my memory, I feel just peachy." Jo wise-cracked, made nervous by her parent's obvious distress. "How did you find out I was in here? Tessa's the next of kin on my file at work, only cos she lives closer. Did she call you, have you spoken to her? Is she here with you?" Jo's head whipped round as the door to the ward opened, her disappointment clearly reflected on her face as she watched a nurse walk to another bed.
"No honey, we haven't spoken to Tessa. We don't know where she is. Sam let us know what had happened, she told us how poorly you were." Alice spoke quietly, wishing she could reawaken her daughter's memories, never having seen her as happy as she had been over the previous three months with Sam. It was hard to accept that as far as Jo was concerned, she had never known that happiness.
"Why isn't she here? You'd have thought she could have at least nipped in to see if I was ok, she is my girlfriend after all. Nice to know I mean that much to her." A tear slipped across Jo's cheek, feelings of hurt and betrayal swelling inside her chest making breathing difficult. She coughed violently fighting to draw breath, excruciating pain knifing through her as her ribs objected.
"I'll fetch a doctor." Jo's father, George, hurried from the cubicle, catching the attention of the first nurse he encountered, indicating Jo's distress and making clear he wanted someone to take a look at her immediately.
"It's ok honey. Don't worry your head about Tessa now. You just concentrate on getting better. Joanne, I was thinking that maybe when they let you out of here, you can come back up to Manchester with your dad and me, just for a week or two while you get back on your feet?" Alice attempted to divert Jo's attention, concerned by the rasping cough that had taken hold of her and the thin sheen of perspiration that covered her skin – the hallmark of a fever if ever she had seen one.
"Is Tessa… she wasn't… was it her, on that bridge?" Jo spoke breathlessly, ignoring her mother's invitation.
"No, no it wasn't Tessa you were trying to stop from jumping. Listen, sweetheart, you've got to concentrate on yourself, stop worrying about Tessa. Truth is, she's not been around for a while now. You probably don't want to hear this right now, but she wasn't good enough for you anyway, she didn't make you truly happy…" Alice bit off 'not like Sam does' before she gave voice to her thought, knowing she must let Jo remember her relationship with Sam in her own time. In the brief conversation she had had with her daughter's fiancée that morning, it appeared Jo could remember nothing of the close friendship and deep sensual bond the two women shared.
"Come on love, let's give the doctor some space while he checks Jo over." George led his wife from the ward, leaving their daughter in the hands of the medics bustling around her, exchanging worried glances as they listened to her chest.