Author's Note: Sooo, soo sorry for the wait and delay, I have been nose deep in work and shit. I've been juggling a whole load of crap, cue circus theme. But on the bright side, my play moved onto provincials. That's three in a row baby!

No more stalling. Oh yeah, the important Author's Note. I'm retiting. Details below.

Disclaimer: I don't the Teen Titans or "All My Life" by K-Ci and Jojo.

Chapter 6

Being the bearer of bad news is more than most of us can bear

"It was really nice of them to do this for us," he said smiling. The dancing flame of the candle was reflecting off his green eyes. It was like something out of the pages of a cheesy romance novel. You know the kind where the guy is a perfect gentleman and sweeps the girl who's afraid to love off her feet then they magically fall in love and get married, those kinds. I stood there awestruck, hardly believing my eyes. There was a candle-lit dinner for two set out on the dock ahead of us, further down were blankets and pillows set down near the edge. The water surrounding was lit brightly by hundreds of floating tea-lights while the rising moon reflected itself on the surface of the water. It was so secluded, so remote. So romantic.

"Yeah, I know," I looked up from my taco, "Wait, who am I talking to? Mark or Gar?" He took a bit out of his taco and made a show of thinking about it.

"Gar," he said finally, "So maybe we can talk for real. No masks, no show." He finished off his taco and leaned into the table.

"Talk about?"

He shrugged, "Anything. I'd like to get to know my employer."

I nodded and finished up my own taco, taking a sip of wine, "Oh, you mean like what we tried on Thursday? That backfired so badly?"

He chuckled and leaned back on his chair, squinting his eyes as if he were inspecting something, "Okay, anything but now." I raised an eyebrow at what he said. "I mean talk about anything but the job at hand."

"Okay, I'm game."

"Great, so. How long have you been writing?"

I leered at him, "I thought you said nothing about the job at hand?"

He smiled and shrugged, "It's a legitimate question, nothing to do with the article you're writing. Just curious." He noticed the questioning look on my face and gave a small chuckle.

"Fine, I've always loved literature, books, poems, whatever bits of writing I could get my hands on. I was a bit of a recluse when I was younger and all I would do was read. By my final year of high school, I still hadn't decided on what to do with myself so I turned to writing. I was discouraged a lot, especially by my father, a lot of nonsense about how writing isn't a career it's a hobby. So I cheated, I didn't tell him I was going to be a writer, I said I'd be a journalist. So well, here I am."

"Here you are indeed."

"Your turn."

"My turn, what?"

"How did you get into acting," I leaned against the table in a mocking manner. Two can play at that game, "You know, in a completely irrelevant to our current situation way."

He shrugged nonchalantly, "I had a lot of energy when I was a kid." I waited for more, but he wasn't talking. He just sat there in silence staring at me.

"That's it?" I asked outraged, he just nodded his head, "I gave you such a heartfelt account of why I decided to write and all you say is, 'I had a lot of energy'?"

"Okay," he threw up his hands in defeat, "I jumped around a lot when I was a kid. I did a lot of… moving. And I wasn't much of anything, like I wasn't good at sports," With that body? Could've fooled me. "I wasn't very smart, I couldn't draw, couldn't sing. But I still needed an outlet 'cause I had a lot of energy, most of it spent getting into trouble, so I got into acting. I found out I was pretty okay at it and committed all I could into it. Imagine a kid who's never been good at anything finally finding something that he can call his own." It was my turn to smile, I could just picture this over active little kid playing pranks and getting into trouble any way he turns.

"See? That wasn't so bad."

He leered at me, "Whatever, okay my turn. Uh, something simple. What's your favourite color?"

"Blue."

"Green."

"Okay, uhm, why are you a vegetarian?" It was a stupid question, but I always wanted to know why people turned veggie. I mean, it can't possibly be healthy, where do they get their protein. Not to mention the endless amounts of disgusting tofu.

"Well, I've always been a sort of animal lover. I've had a large variety of pets over the years and, I don't know, I can't imagine just killing an animal. It seems so wrong, like they can think, they can learn, they can love."

"They can love?" I cocked an eyebrow at him.

"Yeah, you know most birds only have one partner their entire lives? That's more than I can say for humans. We couldn't learn a thing of two about animals. I've always thought if I were smarter I'd be a vet."

"You know you're not as stupid as you make yourself to be."

"Oh but I am, I'm just a very good actor," we both let out a laugh, "My turn. What was your last relationship like?" To say I was taken aback would be an understatement.

"Don't you think that's a little personal?"

"Oh come on, it can't be worse than mine," I scoffed and he raised an eyebrow challengingly, "What? You think because that I'm an actor there are girls falling all over themselves to go out with me?" Not because you're an actor, because you're gorgeous. "Well, it's a sort of catch-22. I attract girls because I'm an actor, and I repel them 'cause I'm broke."

"Well, I'm not answering your question in its entirety, but I will say this. Your love life can not be worse than mine."

"I find that hard to believe."

"Believe it. Besides, what mentally challenged man would want to go out with me? I'm so plain, not like Kori or Tara."

"You know, some men find that 'plain' women are more attractive than women who flaunt their bodies. Personally, I hate it when women degrade themselves like that, its like they have no respect for their bodies and if they don't even respect themselves, how could they possibly respect another person?"

"Well that's you, and you are one guy."

"Sometimes one guy is all it takes." I felt heat rise to my face and prayed that the small light of the candles weren't enough for him to see my blush. God wasn't listening because Gar smiled and near chuckled. We sat there in silence for a while, just looking at each other, then suddenly he closed his eyes and swayed his head rhythmically.

"What are you doing?"

"I love this song?" He replied, eyes still closed, head still swaying, humming quietly.

"What?" What the hell was he doing? I let out a small chuckle, he looked like Stevie Wonder.

"Said, I promise to never fall in love, with a stranger," O god. He started singing, in the most off key, exaggerated way. He got from his chair and continued singing walking around the table.

"You're all that I'm thinking of, I praise the Lord above,

For sending me your love, I cherish every hug,

I really loooooove you!" I couldn't help my self, I burst out laughing. He was definitely not lying when he said he couldn't sing.

"You're no K-Ci and Jojo, Gar. Just stop now." Then he grabbed my arm and yanked me onto my feet, ignoring what I said and continuing to sing.

"All my life, I've prayed for someone like you," He smiled at me, fully knowing how incredibly embarrassing his voice was. Still holding onto my hand, he took my other hand and placed it on his shoulder then rested wrapped his arm around my waist, beginning to sway me.

"And I thank God, that I finally found you, baby,

All my life I've prayed for someone like you," I punched him really hard on the chest and he feigned pain.

"Ow!"

"At least it got you to shut up," I smirked. He stuck his tongue out at me and I rolled my eyes at him, "Now would you say that you were a close friend of Mark's, Gar?"

He gave a small smile and turned playfully serious, "Why, yes. I say I know him best out of anyone. Aside from yourself of course, you know him the best."

"Well," I began, playing into the situation, "I was wondering how he would take the break up." The smile dissolved from his face and he looked right into my eyes, sending chills up and down my spine.

"He is so completely in love with you. He'd be heart-broken," I stared right back, meeting his gaze. He leaned in and whispered, "Now don't tell him I've told you but he once told me… he fell for you back at the grocery store. The frazzled way you looked was adorable. He's constantly thinking of you, you can hardly get him to shut up.

"He can go on and on about how delightful your laugh is, or how adorable your nose is. How your hips sway when you walk, or how you squint when you're angry. Or how when you're nervous, you've developed this endearing twitch in your neck which you put off as getting your hair out of your face. How your skin is like the purest silk, or how your hair sways about your face with a stout elegance.

"He confesses to me how often he catches himself just staring at you, losing himself in your radiance. Or closing his eyes and just listening to the harmonic melody of your voice," He leaned in closer still so that our noses nearly touched. I was so engrossed in the moment, so flattered from his words, so caught up in his dancing eyes that I forgot to blush and just waited and listened. Feeling every sensation of his slow swaying body, the warmth of his arms around me, "Or how he dreams of your soft pillow kisses."

Then he pulled back slightly, smiled the sweetest smile, and hummed the rest of the song. I don't know whether it was the wine or the environment we were in but I didn't pull away. Incredulously, I may have been expecting a kiss, my eyes were half closed already and my lips were slightly pursed, just waiting for his to complete itself. I snapped out of my trance and back pouted my lips; that blush finally catching up to me. I couldn't believe I was so ready to kiss him, but remembering his speech, I'm surprised I didn't just grab him then and there. He beamed down at me as I avoided his gaze and I felt his hand on my chin, lifting it up to him.

"Mark would die for you." There we were, standing in the middle of a dock, dancing to nothing and I could care less. I was actually starting enjoy it, he kept humming the rest of "All My Love" and in some sort of out of body experience, I began to hum with him. He took that as a good sign and held me closer and I allowed my head to rest of his shoulder when I felt my eyes closing. That's when an odd combination of fatigue, euphoria, and that wine came over me and they shut.

I awoke with the damned sun shining in all its glory in my eyes. I had half a mind to get up and shut the curtains. That when I realised, my bed was unusually hard, and my pillow was moving up and down. My eyes suddenly shot open and I looked around, I was still at the dock, lying on a few blankets and a sleeping Gar. I immediately jumped out of his arms and kicked him.

"Get up!" I watched as he squinted his eyes closed and stretched. He pushed himself up on his elbows and opened one eye at me. His hair was all messy and standing up, I wanted to run my hands through it. Mental slap, not now.

"We have to pack!" He scratched his head and plopped back down, though it must have been painful considering it's a wooden dock. For some reason, I wanted to just lie back down with him.

I kicked him again, "Get up!"

He groaned, "Well good morning to you too." I rolled my eyes and made my way back to the cottage.

In my dream it had come to me. How I was going to go about getting rid of this monkey, monkey mean man, off my back. In the most metaphorical sense of the phrase. I would be afraid of commitment, the entire moving in and "I Love You" speeches would be too much for me and Mark and I would quietly dissipate. All after this weekend of course. I would pay Gar for his services and call Kori up one night crying and telling her it hadn't worked out. That way, I can make up any sort of shit my brilliant mind came up with and they wouldn't have any Mark telling them otherwise.

I watched, holding a warm mug of tea, as Mark loaded up the car. Him, Wally, Victor and Dick were laughing and singing Irish bar songs and they hauled bags into the cars. Mark was glowing, his smile shone like a hundred watt bulb. He was having such a good time with the guys and vice versa. I felt a pang of guilt for breaking up the new buddies, they had gotten along so well together, much better than the guys and Wilson., which made me smile.

"They're like children aren't they?" A voice startled me from behind. It was Jinx. She was holding a mug of coffee herself and joined me in watching the boys.

I nodded, "It's kinda cute."

"Can you believe Kori? I mean, one of us is getting married. It was like yesterday when we were fawning over the English prof in college. Next thing you know Vic and Bee will be hooking up then you and Mark-"

I raised my hand to stop her, "Whoa what makes you think it'll even get that far."

"Oh come on," she rolled her eyes; "You two are so in love. I know you've said it, but anyone can say it. I can see it when I see you."

"What?" I gave her a questioning glare.

"Yeah, tell me you don't do it on purpose. I catch you sometimes, when you think no one's watching. Just staring at him, smiling. And he does it too when you're talking. It sickening really if you think about it," she gave me a joking smirk and nudged my side, "But you too are so cute when you're together, I hardly mind." She sent me a wink and walked towards Wally, calling his name sweetly.

What was she talking about? Me? Staring at him? It was impossible, it was preposterous, never. A small voice in the back of my head, you know that annoying one that tells you that you actually do care what others think and that you really don't like your friend's choice of clothing, was scolding me, I knew perfectly well I was attracted to him, in more ways than just physical. But I was just too stubborn to listen at the time, and if you'd asked me, I'd have denied the whole thing entirely.

After tear-less goodbyes and many high fives among the boys, each car departed the city. It wasn't all that sad since we would all go back to our apartments, drop off our luggage and man-baggage then meet up again at Toni's later that night.

Mark had insisted on driving back since I drove headed up. I argued for a good 30 minutes with him, telling him that since he did a lot of packing in the morning I should at least drive. He just shook his head, grabbed my waist and kissed me, all the while sneakily fishing the keys away from my grasp and then running away like a child, sticking his tongue out at me.

We woke up around 10:30; apparently Kori had worriedly come to wake us up at 9 and saw us on the dock and decided to let us sleep for a while longer. Of course by the time we woke up, we had about half an hour to pack before we were left behind in the middle of the woods. We hardly had time to fold clothes let alone shower. The only bit of calm I got that morning was when Mark volunteered to load the car and told me to get some caffeine in my system before I exploded at him. Hey, who was I to argue if he wanted to do all the work.

The ride home was interesting. We talked a lot about complete randomness. Randomnocity he called it. He told me about he developed the asinine breathing exercise to get into character; apparently it was a calming technique he picked up from one of his high school counsellors. I told him about the I was stuck babysitting three little brats when I was in high school, then he laughed and told me the kids sounded like him when he was younger. I would tell him my most embarrassing moments and he would tell me his, he would tell me about a horrible past relationship and I would counter with one of my own. It became a match of wits, a competition of who had a more miserable life. Occasionally a song would come up on the radio and he would turn it up, say he "loved this song" and would belt at the top of his lungs. He would miss a few words and just mumble and keep nodding his head. And once in a while, I'd catch my self humming and nodding along with him.

We were talking about which Sesame Street character was the coolest when we pulled up to his apartment. He had just said something about Count having asthma and we were laughing.

"Well, I'm here. I'll talk to you later." Then, it all happened in a flash, he leaned across and kissed me, on the lips. We both quickly opened our eyes and pulled away, blushing furiously.

After an awkward minute, he cleared his throat, "Sorry. I guess I must still be in character." Another moment passed. I honestly didn't know what to say. Well, he did mention how after his breathing exercises he gets so committed in a character it's hard to break it. Yes, that's a perfectly logical explanation for what just transpired. He smiled at me and got out of the car. I got out and got over to the driver's seat and popped the trunk for him. He got his duffel walked back to my door, leaning in the open car window with his free arm.

"Garfield, you don't know how grateful I am that you did this. Thank you. I'll send you a copy of the full article when it's printed. And really," I grabbed the necklace he gave me on Friday which hung around my neck, "Thank you."

He just smiled back at me, looking deep into my eyes and taking a deep breath before speaking in what sounded like a sad tone, "It's no problem. That's what you paid me for."

I got home and immediately went to my laptop. I had left it at home for a reason, I'm not an idiot, I've seen my fair share of movies, and I know how snoopy people can be. And I wasn't about to be the idiotic heroine in a movie that does something so incredibly stupid you're yelling at the screen, then afterwards is so shocked when she finds out they knew all along. The ending of the piece would have to be open now that I didn't actually break up with him publicly, that just makes people want more of my work. I've whetted their appetites. Clicking print was the most refreshing moment of the entire weekend. Now I'd have to go out and send it over, personally, to the papers before heading to Toni's.

It didn't actually hit me very hard until the following day, as I was reading the article that I actually have to tell my friends that Mark and I had broken up. Or else, they would expect him at any sort of get together from now on in. And quite frankly, I didn't have very much money left. The perfect opportunity to drop the bomb on them came when Bee called. It hadn't gone as well as I'd thought. I figured I'd have to put more emphasis on the fact that I broke up with him due to my commitment issues or else I came off as unemotional.

Bee nearly screamed at me on the phone for letting such a 'perfect match' go, just like that. And like wild fire the news spread. My phone rang off the hook with upset and consoling phone calls from the rest of the gang, including some of the guys. They kept on and on about how great a guy Mark was. I told them I couldn't help but agree.

"Raven, he was in love with you," protested Kori.

"Yes, but the whole thing was just moving so fast."

"You know you'll never find anyone like him again! There are plenty of fish in the sea, but that kind is particularly rare," interjected Bee.

"I knew it," butted Tara, "He was way too good for you. Give me his number and I'm sure I can give him what he wants."

"Oh hush Tara, they were so in love. Rae-Rae just got spooked with the whole moving in thing, that's all," said Jinx.

"You don't know what you're doing!"

"You don't know what you're losing, what you're missing!"

"You just dropped him like a hot potato? A very hot, sexy potato?"

"Raven, the man was a miracle, sent by the gods in the high heavens to make you happy. And you sent him back! Return to sender!"

"I'm telling you, give me his number. If you don't appreciate a fine hunk of man then I will."

"He was a doctor!"

"He wasn't!"

"Whatever, he was educated."

"Not to mention incredibly hot!"

"And polite."

"And excitingly adventurous."

"And kind, and giving, and sweet."

"I can't believe it's the woman backing out because of 'commitment issues'. It's like roles have switched, you're like the man."

"That's it isn't it? You're gay!"

"AM NOT!"

"Well you'd have to be to dump a man like that?"

"Leave her alone, it doesn't matter if she's gay."

"I'M NOT GAY!"

"Jesus Raven, make up your mind."

"I'm not! He was just too intense for me, he wanted to get married and start a family…"

"Yes, and that's not what every woman's dream is, finding the perfect guy and settling down."

"Maybe it's not mine…"

"See I told you she's gay."

"Shut up Tara, she's not gay. She just has issues with men because of her father."

"Daddy issues."

"I do not have 'daddy issues'!"

"Yeah you guys, maybe we're jumping to conclusions here-"

"Yes, thank you."

"Maybe it was that incident with Malco-"

"Kori!" It went on and on like this for what seemed like weeks. It came to a point that I was afraid to answer my phone.

By the following Thursday, the entire things had blown over. I was no longer getting upsetting phone calls from my friends telling me how much of an idiot I was for letting him go and they finally decided to respect my decision.

I know it's weird, but now that he's gone, I'm beginning to notice the small things that he did when he wasn't. Like how his ears were slightly pointed, or how he seemed to puff out his chest when he stood still. How he slouched a bit when he walked with me but go back to standing straight with others, I think he was trying to get down more to my lever. How he'd wrinkle his nose when he was angry, how he'd smile whenever I rolled my eyes. How his eyes sort of twinkled when he saw me blush, how his hair fell over his eyes no matter what he did with it, giving it that just-out-of-bed look. And how his smallest smile would make my knees weak and turn me to jell-O.

Could it be I was missing him? Did I actually like it when he held me or hand his hand in mine. Was I missing his touch, his smile, the sound of his voice? I would lie on my bed and recall exact details of our dates and the weekend, smiling at the jokes I hear him say in my head. I would turn over and miss the scent of his aftershave drifting from beyond the pillow border. Then I'd remember; he was an actor. A man I'd hired to pretend to be in love with me. A guy who had to do breathing exercises to even be near me. I paid him to be sweet, to be nice, to be memorable. And boy did I get my money's worth, because I'd fall asleep thinking about him and wake up with my pillow damp with tears.

A/N: Yes, you heard me right up there. I'm retiring from writing fanfiction. I'm going to finish this, One Bird, Two Stones, and Before Sunset and then I'm done. I may come back to do one shots but other than that, I'm gone.

CLUE: Standing up for yourself does wonders for your self esteem, which is a good thing since other people aren't going to be too crazy about you