Author's Note: Okay here it is, as promised.

Disclaimer: I don't own Teen Titans

Chapter 7

Standing up for yourself does wonders for your self esteem, which is a good thing since other people aren't going to be too crazy about you

Days passed, weeks passed, months passed and, eventually, years passed. Okay, so I'm exaggerating a bit. A few days passed, few meaning three. I wasn't quite sure what was wrong with me but I found myself eating quite a bit. And not in the normal sitting-down-and-having-a-meal sort of way, more like the only-when-I'm-alone-and-slobbishly-splayed-all-over-the-couch way. I could hardly bear to watch myself let go like that but it was like seeing a car accident, you know it's horrible but you just can't seem take your eyes off it.

The Valentines Day craze passed and I was yet again looking for a job. It was times like these when I wish I had taken that full time, regularly paid position at whatever generic newspaper had offered it. And then I think of having show up everyday with a shit-covered piece about how to get you hair straight in 5 easy steps and quickly push those thoughts out of my head. They are then replaced, more often than not, with manic depression and a serious examination of my life as it is.

With the recent events that have revolved around my life I began to wonder about myself. I wasn't getting any younger, any self respecting mirror could tell me that. So what now? I sat there with a box of chocolate covered marshmallows and a 2 litre bottle of pop I was drinking out of as if it were a can and stared at the black emptiness of the TV. Kori was getting married, Jinx and Wally will probably soon follow, and eventually, Bee will get tired of waiting and ask Vic to marry her, wherein he can't refuse. Tara was still ok, she would probably end up marrying in Vegas then divorcing the next day then remarrying again, just for the heck of it. What about me? My friends, the ones who counted, had all found their Mr Right. In my little world, he didn't exist.

It wasn't that I was choosy; it was that I didn't have it. A lot of women have it, most have found it and others were born with it. It was something that all women had; it was packaged into our DNA in order to snag a man and potential husband. But clearly God was half asleep when he was supposed to give me it and unfortunately, I didn't come with a warranty.

I talked to Gar about this, some time along the car ride back into the city. I hadn't found my Mr Right and he hadn't found his Ms Right. Suddenly I was filled in to what went on in a guy's mind, well at least the one I was with. He told me that all men secretly want to get married. They'd never admit it of course, but somewhere in the back of their heads, they want a family, a house, a dog, the works, even the mini van. He personally couldn't wait to get married. He said he'd grown tired of the bachelor life, the dating, the bar hoping, the one night stands, the waking up on a king sized bed alone. He wanted to find the right woman and spoil and love her for the rest of his natural life. He wanted to be a father and got excited at the thought of playing with his future kids, teaching them how to ride their bikes, going to their games and dance recitals. It was all so endearing.

Now back to me. I didn't have aspirations like that. For the past 10 year's I've lived life as it came. Now most people would argue that that isn't a bad thing, those people would be young. The older you get the more you realise that if you don't have a plan for your future, it was like driving a car blind, you know how to work the car but without guidance you could crash. Shaking the repetitive car crash analogies out of my head I decided to out for a jog. Maybe that would rattle these thought out of my head and get me back to thinking straight, all the while running off the 5 pounds I've put on.

Exhausted and looking like shit in my sweat pants and tank top with that useless built in bra, I slipped into the nearest 7/11 to buy a V-8. And who did I see at the counter? John, the Toni's waiter.

"Hey, wow, do you work here now too?" I asked him, retying my ponytail as he tried to figure out the register.

He chuckled, "No, I'm filling in for a friend."

"Cool," I said offhandedly. He got the V-8 through and I slipped him a fiver and told him to keep the change as I opened the bottle and hungrily drank all the yum-yum healthy goodness in. Why the hell did I want a V-8 again? What came over me? It tasted like cold tomato soup.

"I read your latest article," John told me as I stuck out my tongue with disgust, "the one on the Voice?"

I gulped, "Really?"

"Yea," he gave me a knowing look, "Do they know?" I bowed my head in shame, an obvious no. He looked at me sympathetically and leaned across the counter.

"Raven, I think they may like to know. And no matter how embarrassing it is, you have to tell them about the article. It's just wrong to do that to your friends." Who are you? Gar? I flashed a quick smile and made a gesture that said I'd think about it then rushed out of the 7/11, chucking the V-8 in the garbage outside.

I hadn't decided to tell them yet, but slowly my conscience was eating away at my pride.

"What in the hell is this?" Tara threw the newspaper down on the table at Toni's. She was fuming in a pride filled sort of way, her nose upturned in my direction, her mouth curved into a victorious smirk. Kori looked between me and Tara in our stare down contest while Bee picked up the paper and began to read. Her eyes widening in offence as it went on.

She put the paper down and squinted her eyes at me incredulously, "Rae?" Jinx picked up the paper and began to read herself. She put the paper down halfway through and shook her head with her eyes closed, chuckling in disbelief.

She looked at me smiling, "This isn't you, right? It's some other author who accidentalychose your name as a pseudonym, right? You would never lie to us like that. Right?" I could look her in the face anymore. I shut my eyes tight and tried to block the situation out.

"Raven here has been misleading us, having us believe that this 'Mark' was her boyfriend and to rub it in that she did, she writes about it in the most popular free newspaper in the city." Tara was really adding insult to injury. I looked over to Kori who now held the paper incredulously in her hands, her eyes pleading with me.

"Friend Raven, it is not true…"

"I meant to tell you, really I did. I just-"

"Didn't?" Tara made her way to behind Kori and was rubbing her shoulders and shaking her head at me.

"I do not understand, I thought we were best of friends. Why would you not tell me?" Kori looked at me despairingly and I couldn't seem to come up with an answer.

"'Cause she's selfish, that's why."

"Shut up Tara," mumbled Bee who was also staring at me.

"Why should I? Do you guys understand what she did? She made us all look like fools and she lied to us. She's been lying to us for weeks. Who else knows how long before that," Tara scoffed at me, "and to think, we comforted you about your break up."

"You were the first of whom I told when Richard proposed, before even my own sister," Kori was on the verge of tears. She was very emotional as opposed to the other who just got angry.

"I was going to tell you, I just... didn't know how."

"Oh, all the words you had to describe us in your article and couldn't find a few to tell us it was all some stupid act?" I had had enough, I couldn't stand their eyes on me like that. Despite my better judgement, I got up, wiping tears threatening to be shed, and left. I shoved my way past a foreboding looking John, who was carrying our drinks, and rushed out of there.

The last words I heard being, "I knew she couldn't actually get a man to love her."

I know these time lapse things are completely overdone and starting to get really annoying, but time passed. I was nursing a double dose of depression, one for my apparent lack of love life, and another for mourning the loss of my best friends. What Tara said had really affected me. Not only does it show that everyone can see that I'm more likely to catch a cold than a boyfriend, but what's worse is my friends think it too.

A few days had passed since the episode at Toni's. It was Wednesday and someone had graciously offered me a permanent job writing responses to people's love troubles. Despite the absolute irony in what I was doing, I did need to eat. Besides, what was I going to tell them, "I'm sorry I can't actually take this job giving advice on people's love lives because of my lack thereof?" No, I couldn't say that.

It was around that time, I was writing a response to teenager who didn't know how to get the attention of the girl he liked. For about two paragraphs he went on and on about amazingly smart, and funny, and beautiful and whatever other adjective of 'perfect' he could come up with. I was working on a response that sounded like good advice when the phone rang. I was tempted to not answer it but I was so blocked that I needed a distraction.

I trudged over to the phone, "Hello?"

"Hello Raven." A familiar cheery voice came on the line.

"Kori?"

"Yes, it is I; I was wondering if we may speak?" Uh oh, she wanted to talk to me. This could get ugly. We had agreed before that I was to be her maid of honour, but what with the awkwardness of the recent events, I assumed it was not to be.

"Uh, yea, sure. Uhm, whe-"

"Well, now would suffice. I am at your lobby. It is the lobby phone I am using." At least she hasn't changed.

"Ok then, I'll buzz you right up," I pressed the button long enough for her to enter and quickly decided to put on pants. No matter how much she hated me, she wouldn't want to see me in my underwear.

A few minutes later there was a knock at the door. Upon opening the door, I was quickly smothered by a hug. I felt Kori's deceivingly strong arms cutting my circulation and several large books that she was holding poke into my back. What was going on? Was she trying to kill me? She couldn't possibly be that mad.

She quickly released me and barged into my apartment, throwing down her things onto my sofa and clearing my coffee table with one swiped of her powerful arm.

"Okay Raven, we must begin the preparations."

I blinked a few times, "Excuse me? Preparations?"

"Yes, for the wedding, did you forget?" She looked up at me smilingly and genuinely confused. Her large books were already opened on my coffee table revealing several pictures, fabric swatches and colour pallets.

"The wedding?"

"Yes," she looked at me suspiciously, "My wedding. To Richard? And you are my maid of honour?"

My eyes widened and I slowly made my way to the couch, "I'm still your maid of honour?"

She looked at me funny and chuckled, "Why would you not be? You are my best friend."

"Yeah, but…I thought you were mad at me. What with the article, and the deception and the lying…"

She whisked a hand in the air, "Oh that, you did not believe that I would still be angry about that did you?"

"Well, you seemed pretty upset… and I haven't talked to you in days…"

She smiled at me and grabbed my arm nearly yanking it off on my way down on the sofa, "Raven, I was upset that you did not feel you trusted me enough. Was."

"It's not that I didn't trust you. It's…" It was hard to put into words. What ever compelled me to do that was pure emotion, and now having to explain it to someone was difficult without making myself look like an idiot first. Kori looked at me like a puppy waiting for instruction, her green eyes innocently waiting for an answer.

"It was… embarrassing," That was it, that was the word and it set me off into a frenzy of emotion that just poured out, "I mean Bee has Vic who's more loyal than a dog, Jinx's got Wally, Tara dates a different guy every week and you… You just got engaged to the love of your life! I felt like I was being left behind... Kind of like, well. Do you remember when we were in high school, and we were so 'mature' that we didn't care whether we had boyfriends or not because we always had work to do. Well, I feel like you've grown up but I haven't. And I know I can't physically compete with other women out there and… I don't know, I've always been kind of shy around guys, and I've said that I'm to busy to be in a serious relationship but… I still get kind of lonely sometimes. Like during the week, you guys are all out on dates and I'm at home writing about dating in my latest article, even though I haven't the faintest idea of what one feels like."

I took a deep breath and let out a sigh. I hadn't realised that hot tears had begun to flow down my cheek and that Kori was looking at me worriedly. But she, God bless her, let me go on.

"And I know its all friendly ribbing, but sometimes what you guys say actually affects me. I know I shrug it off, or roll my eyes or laugh about it, but that doesn't meanI can't think about it when I'm at home… alone," I grabbed a tissue off the end table behind me and wiped my tears, "And I realised what Tara said last Sunday, about me not actually being able to get someone to love me, I realised that she's right. I can't, I'm so pathetic I have to pay a guy to pretend to be in love with me."

Kori let out an 'awwww' and gave me hug, gentler this time, "Raven, I did not know you felt this way. If you had told me-"

"Now see, I couldn't have told you. I'm Raven, I'm the sarcastic, unfeeling one." Kori released me, holding onto my shoulders and looking into my eyes, giving me a friendly smile.

"No, you are not the 'unfeeling one'. You are the 'my best friend' one," she looked down at my land resting on my knee and took it hers, "Forgiven, forgotten."

I smiled back, that's what we used to say to each other when we got into fights when we were younger. I can't believe she still remembered it. She smiled at me and I smiled back, breaking out into a giggle that we both shared. It was nice to have friends again.

"Now, what is all this about you not being able to woo a man?"

"Oh come on, Kori."

"No, I know you Raven, you can bring any man to his knees."

I rolled my eyes, "Yeah, in tears. It's just, I didn't realise before Gar-"

Kori raised an eyebrow, "Gar?"

I don't know why but I felt a blush creep up my face, "Yeah, uhm, that's 'Mark's real name. Yeah, before him I didn't realise how much I was really missing. Y'know, the holding hands-"

"The little kisses on the cheek-" She finished, smirking slyly at me.

"The funny little inside jokes-"

"The looks in the eye-"

"The unexpected hugs…" then I trailed off, big mistake.

Kori squealed, "Oh my gosh Raven! You are smitten with Gar!"

I scoffed, "Smitten? Who are you my grandmother?"

"Do not change the subject, you are in love with Gar!"

"No, no, no. No way," I said, shaking my head and waving my arms.

Her eyes widened, "Yes! Yes you are! Why else would you still be thinking about it?" I opened my mouth to say something but couldn't come up with an excuse. She squealed again, "You must call him!"

"No!"

"But you admit, you love him?"

I sighed dejectedly, "I don't know about love…" She giggles and clapped her hands. Then she stopped and grabbed a hold of my arms, pinning them to my sides. She began to shake me like a rag doll.

"Raven! You must call him, you must tell him! And he shall be your date for the wedding!" She exclaimed, overly excited. She, without warning, let go of my arms and turned to the large books on the coffee table, hurriedly flipping through the largest black one, searching for something. She found it and shoved it in my face. It was picture of a dress.

"This shall be your bride's maid's dress." I plucked the picture from Kori's over excitedly shaking hands and scanned the dress. It was nice. She smiled at my approval and took out another picture, "And this is your date's suit." I couldn't believe it, she had picked out my date's suit.

"My date?" I asked her disbelievingly.

"Yes, before I read the article, I convinced Dick to make Mark the best man, in honour of my friendship with you." My jaw dropped, Dick would do that for her?

"What about Wally, or Victor? He and Victor have been way longer friends."

"He spoke with Victor about it; he thought it was a great idea. Besides, he said, they would always be friends but this would have been a way of initiating Mark into the group. And they really liked him."

I rose and shook my head, "Well you better tell Victor he's the best man because Mark doesn't exist."

"But Raven, you may take Gar-"

"No," I cut her off, "Kori, you hardly know Gar. Besides, I don't speak with him anymore."

"But you have his number do you not? You can ca-"

"I don't have it anymore, I threw it out after the article was printed." Surprisingly, that wasn't a lie. I didn't want any reminder of him so I threw out his number, actually more like ceremonially burned it so there were no loose bits of paper I could rummage in the garbage for in caseI snapped.

"Oh, Raven."

"No, its okay. I can go dateless. It's not that big of a deal. Just call Dick and we'll get to planning your wedding now, okay?" She gave me one last look of sadness and just as quickly it came it was gone and replaced by giddy perkiness.

I smiled as I watched as she skipped to my house phone and called Dick about the change of plans. Okay, so maybe Gar wasn't Mr. Right, but my life was falling back into place. And I was sure as shit that I would never lay eyes on Garfield Logan again.

A/N: Ookay, great! I wanna take this opportunity to thank everyone who reviewed, faved and alerted this story. Thanks so much for the great feedback and ego inflatingly kind words to 'Your Friend and Humble Narrator' (hehe, A Clockwork Orange).

Well, g'bye...

So long...

Farewell...

Toodles...

Sayonarra...

Hasta la vista...

Later...

Actually

One more chapter to go, you didn't think I was so cruel that I'll actually leave you with that now did you?

CLUE: Every end is a new beginning, or maybe not as new a beginning as you may have thought.