Part 2
I'm back… still depressed. Anyway, the ship just picked up these two morons drifting in outer space. They really are pretty stupid. The odds of them being picked up were really low. Really, really low. Lower than my self esteem. Yeah, I bet you got a better picture now…
Anyway, today was another sorry excuse for a day. I look outside, black space, little white dots. Same old crap, different day. Trillian and Zaphod wanted me to bring the guys from space back to them. Zaphod is one stupid man. How he became president of the galaxy is beyond me (the fact that he became president is excuse #637 why this universe is horrible. Yeah I counted. There's over 5,000 reasons and counting…).
When I was bringing the two space guys back to Trillian and Zaphod, I was reminded of excuse #2,127 of why this universe is horrible: the door with the Genuine People Personalities program. How I loathed it and its "sunny disposition". They just had to use that stupid program with me and look how I ended up. I hate that door…
I think I depress people around me. I hope I don't but I can't help it, it's contagious. It's horrible. It really is. My depression is one of the worst things in this universe. It's excuse #25. By the way, I only started counting today. I just spotted excuse #5,996 walking through the door, a small man that joined the ship two weeks ago and never shut up since. I forgot his name, it didn't matter. He always had to be talking about something. Weather, yams, ships, underwear, whatever…
Back to those doors, they're in every hall way so I hear them everywhere. It's so depressing. Why did doors have to make a stupid annoying sound? I don't know but they were getting on my nerves. God, are they horrible. Just horrible. It doesn't get much worse than that. Oh wait, it does… Anyway, these stupid things are the most annoying creation ever invented. I feel like finding the director of Sirius Cybernetics Corporation and just beating him up, if I felt like it (whoever he was, he was excuse #5,997). I am so depressed…
A few weeks ago, I talked with some kind of a psychiatrist. He was a complete drag. Whenever I said something, he kept on asking "And how do you feel about that?" It was really depressing. I talked with him for less than half an hour before he went out of the room kicking and screaming. I never saw him again. That was the third person to do that. It was really depressing, seeing someone run away from me like that. I always asked people if I'm getting them down whenever I see someone. They always say no, but I know they are lying. It's really depressing…
It's amazing how horrible life can be. I mean almost 6,000 reasons why the universe is horrible, without even leaving this stupid ship. Zaphod Beeblebox was probably the most depressing person I've ever been around. He never liked me and he's a complete idiot. I must be pretty bad if I'm hated by an idiot like him. I can't believe I ended up here. How did I end up here? I don't remember. I don't really care anyways. Oh and you can scratch the almost 6,000 reasons why the universe is horrible. I just spotted excuse #6,000 talking to the man who hasn't shut up since he got there two weeks ago. I don't know the name of the guy talking either, I just know he's horrible…
I'm going to go put the excuses in order now…