Part 4
This has been an interesting day so far. We have arrived at the planet Margrathea, we were attacked by two missiles that suddenly turned into a bowl of petunias and a sperm whale. Weird. But this whole thing has been weird. Life is weird. I'm weird. The universe is depressingly weird. It's depressing. It's horrible. I'm not getting you down am I? I hope not. As I've said before, I have a tendency to do so.
It's also depressing being smarter than everybody else. It's difficult trying to think dopwn to someone else's level. It's horrible. Things that I can't even find out, just thinking how somebody like Ford or Zaphod trying to find out that something that I can't find out gives me a headache. Everyone is so stupid to see the world like I do, and it really is quite depressing. But hey, I think everything on this planet is.
Zaphod rewired the computer. I hate it even more now. Just when you think things can't get worse… yeah, you know the rest. That Eddie is so annoying I think I should just shut myself down permanently just so I don't hear his stupid voice again. I don't think I can possibly say anything worse about that infernal computer anymore. I think I would short out if I said anything else about him. Who cares anyway? It's not like anybody likes Eddie anyway. It's really depressing.
Arthur talked to me about Earth. Sounds like a horrendous place. Sunsets, oceans, beautiful skies, buildings… sounds horrible. Let me tell you something. I hate sunsets. They're so bright and annoying. I don't know how anybody can possibly like sunsets. They're just wretched. No matter what planet they are on. I can't stand them. Sometimes you wonder why there are sunsets and sunrises. At least they're better than Eddie. Sunsets can't talk.
And oceans? Don't get me started on oceans. They're so big and so plain. And the fish in them. How I despise them with every piece of metal in my pathetic robotic body. How can anybody like a huge body of water? It's like a huge waste of space is more I like it. Oceans are absolutely dreadful and I hope that I will never have to see another ocean again, but I don't need an Improbability Drive to tell what the odds to that are. It's depressing…
After a while talking to Arthur, he decided to go for a walk. I didn't blame him. I would have tried to get away from me too. I tend to do that too easily. I can't stand it when I make people around me so depressed. It really is awful, but I can't help myself. What can I say? It's a curse. I wish I could change, but it's truly too hard.
I hate it when people ask somebody if I'm their robot. I'm nobody's robot. I'm my robot. It's depressing when somebody thinks I am lower than somebody. Somebody's pet. It's truly dreadful. Just thinking about it makes me sour. It's horrible. I have a brain the size of a planet and what kind of respect do I get? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Nothing at all. Zilch. I hate this planet Magrathea. I really do…