"Different Stars" by Cayster, a.k.a. Caley
Summary: Just when Peyton is ready to bury her feelings about Lucas, she finds herself accidentally professing them. An alternate way for Peyton expressing her feelings to Lucas. Set in season four and as if she never told him about them in 3X18. LP one-shot.
DISCLAIMER: I do not own "One Tree Hill", the CW now does.
Author Notes: Alright, it's been a while that a song has really inspired me to write a fic. If you've read a few of my stories before, then you'd know that music is my muse when it comes to writing these mediocre fanfics that humor my attention for the time being. Okay, you get the picture—well, "Different Stars" by Trespassers William really did the job for me for this fic. Therefore, I named the fic after its muse. The song really sets the mood and it definitely complements Peyton's angsty, broody self—the one in which I love about her character and so many of you do as well. So yeah, you should check out the song sometime, as well as "Precious" by Minipop. Another great song that helped the flow of this story. So I'll stop rambling on and on about songs and let you get to reading! Thanks, by the way, for reading.
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Peyton stared determinedly up at the luminous moon while tears slipped mournfully down her cheeks. Life was especially hard these days. Even though Brooke had turned her back on her a few months ago, recently the simple things seemed to set her emotions off. It could be something as small as two best friends walking down the hall laughing happily or seeing a couple cuddling on a couch. Peyton hadn't been as envious or heartbroken as she had been in those moments alone.
Alone. Back to that again. She was always alone and her subconscious always liked to throw that one out there. Peyton could only remember a few times in which she had been totally free of that nagging thought and most of them were with the one blue-eyed brooder much like herself, Lucas.
Exasperated, Peyton stood up from her windowsill and walked over to her computer desk and slumped down in the chair. She didn't want to think about him again, not for the millionth time. She can't recall how many times he inspired her to sketch something or how many times he made her smile or even how many times he made her feel "okay" about life. Lucas Scott… Brooke's Lucas Scott.
Just the thought of him being with her was heart wrenching and unbearable. Yes, she wanted Brooke to be happy and the same for Lucas, but why did their "happiness" have to always keep hers low and faint, almost nonexistent? She hated herself for falling in love with him, for being in love with him, and for always having these feelings about him hidden. Why was the situation with him always a lose-lose one? Couldn't she ever have what she always wanted and needed from him without losing a best friend or getting a broken heart?
Peyton stared point blank at the "Now We Can Have It" sketch she drew a year back. Tears endlessly began swelling her eyes bitterly as she thought back to them… well, an almost them.
But one thing was certain, and the sketch seemed to only strengthen that, was that she was just as scared as she was back then. Though, on the other hand, she wasn't afraid of what she was feeling, just of the repercussions of her feelings. Love was a hard thing to handle, especially if you're in love with Lucas, who's just as confused and fickle as the next boy.
"Wow, I would've thought you'd have some Thursday going," an all too familiar voice said behind her, "but I guess I'm being way too stereotypical."
Peyton felt like the apocalypse had just happened by the way her heart seemed to have started to racing in such a short time frame.
"What are you doing here, Lucas?" She questioned half-heartedly while quickly wiping away her silent tears.
He must have sensed her melancholic, hurt since he knelt down next to her looking at her with those understanding eyes. She looked away and began to silently berate herself; she didn't want to spill everything out and again hear that 'I love you, but I'm in love with Brooke' like she imagined countless times in her mind. She was setting herself up for an all too familiar let down, like always.
"Hey," Lucas said in a soft, soothing way to get her to look at him. "Whatever's going on, you can tell me."
Peyton painfully smiled and stopped holding back the tears that were ready to fall to from her eyes. She was crumbling, exactly how she didn't want to in front of him.
"Peyt," Lucas whispered quietly as he embraced her in a strong hug.
So many inner conflicts were being fought inside her. Everything was going haywire and wanting to explode. Memory after memory was overflowing in her mind of the two of them. He was always there, the one reoccurring and steady person in her life for the past two years. He was there for when she had that scare about her dad possibly being dead; he was there for when she needed the extra push to see Ellie; he was there when she was shot and didn't leave her side; he was there to save her from that pervert college student; he was there when she most needed him to be. God, she loved him so much in made her ache that he couldn't be hers.
'I love you,' she thought with all of the truth and passion she ever knew that she could have.
"What?" Lucas asked softly as he pulled away to look at her with subtle genuine earnest in his truth bearing eyes.
Startled and rattled, Peyton's mouth dropped slightly. Had she just said that out loud? She tried to look away, but wherever she turned her gaze upon, he seemed to bring it back to him. She had to tell him—hell, she just had!
Peyton finally looked at him, preparing for the worst. "I love you, Luke," she said again as passionate as the first time. Tears slid out of her hazel eyes with a different vigor now… like she knew this would probably be the end of their friendship.
He looked baffled, to put it plainly. It must've never crossed his mind that she of all people would fall for him or still be in love with him after everything she said about her happiness being with Jake. This new realization sent him into silence. Silence was something Peyton had been expecting, but it was starting to slowly eating away at her already vulnerable soul.
Just when she was about to find a hole and die in it, she heard Lucas say something she never in a lifetime say to her again. "I love you, too," he said in a way that didn't make her question its validity. It was earnest, calm, and leisurely said. In a way, it made feel like the perfect way to say it.
"W-what?" Peyton questioned not sure if she had just imagined the entire thing or not.
He laughed softly and took her hands in his and looked up at her lovingly. "I said 'I love you, too,'" Lucas tenderly replied.
Confusion mudded her train of thought; happiness embraced her.
"But what about Brooke?" She blurted out quickly.
Lucas just kept smiling up at her. "Well, if hadn't been avoiding me for as long as you have been, you would've known that I broke up with her about a month ago."
"Why?" She continued to question.
"Because I finally stopped listening to my mind about safety and security and started listening to my heart about love and chance." He simply put as he traced her hand, absorbing every detail, and then looked up at her with affection reflecting in his honest eyes up at her.
She felt overwhelmed, confused, elated, bewildered, bemused, and every other odd emotion. Finally she stopped thinking and just acted upon what her heart was saying for once. She crashed her lips against his in a passionate kiss. Cupping his face gently, Peyton slowly broke from the intense kiss that she had so longed to have.
"So," Lucas said confidently as he stood up and pulled Peyton up from her chair. "Why don't we go out for a stroll and see where our feet take us?"
"I think I'll like that." Peyton answered with the biggest smile she had smiled in a long time.
"Good," he said simply while wiping her stranded tears away, "because I'm hoping it'll lead us to a good ol' fashion make-out after a long heart to heart."
Laughing, Peyton grabbed one of his hands and began to pull him out of her and outside. "Then what are we waiting for?"
The end.
Author Notes: Well, that's the end. Hopefully, you all liked it. It was kind of different from what I've written in a sense. I find that I write stronger from Lucas's point of view better even though I get Peyton a whole lot better. I don't know, but I decided that I wanted a good ol' fashioned angst fic and Peyton is a great supplier of angst. Lol. Well, thank you so much for reading and I genuinely hope that you liked it. Please tell me your thoughts, whether it's criticism or praise, I'd love to know what ya'll are thinking. Thanks!