CHAPTER 19

Chloe raced through the hospital hallway, a group of orderlies trailing behind her. Lex too, was somewhere in the crowd, but he could certainly fend for himself. Chloe's mind had shut itself closed to any external stimuli, insisting only on seeing her father.

"Ms. Sullivan, please come back here!" One particularly perturbed nurse begged as her clean white shoes smacked against the linoleum.

"I want to see my dad."

The nurse sped up and grabbed Chloe by the back of her t-shirt, struggling with the fiery girl until she had pulled her to a halt. "I understand that, ma'am, but I would simply like to have a few words with you beforehand."

Chloe glowered with anger, the intense heat radiating off her body. She would have to be calmed down but Lex found himself wishing he weren't the one who would have to do it. He inched forward towards her, as if approaching an armed enemy. "Chloe...why don't you take a few deep breaths, we'll sit down and listen to what this woman has to say."

Chloe stepped forward and slapped Lex hard across the face. "Don't condescend to me." She spat and started to back herself up, cautiously keeping her body turned towards Lex and the orderlies. "I," she instructed, "am going to see my dad. Now. It is perfectly within my rights to see my father and there is absolutely no way you are going to-" Before Chloe had a chance to react, Lex had leapt forward and tackled her to the ground. Pinning her struggling body underneath his weight, he held her arms beside her to prevent any retribution.

"Chloe, you're acting like a child. Shut up and listen." Her jaw gaped open, shocked into a temporary submission, and she nodded dumbly. He jerked his head toward the nurse. "Proceed."

The nurse, looking extremely shaken herself, pulled out her clipboard and began to speak. "Ms. Sullivan, as you are aware, your father was taken off certain painkillers and tranquilizers due to medical complications. Unfortunately, there is a suspicion that these exact drugs somehow found a way into his system. If so, chemicals would have reacted very poorly with the medication we were giving him for the hepatic encephalopathy. I'm sorry, Ms. Sullivan. Your father-"

Lex felt Chloe's breath begin to quicken and he swiftly switched positions, grabbing both her wrists in one hand while using the other to cover her mouth before she screamed. "Get me the medical documents." He instructed the nurse coldly.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Luthor, but you don't have the-"

"Get me his goddamn medical documents!" He roared, and the nurse sped off efficiently. "Chloe, I need you to keep yourself together, okay? We're going to figure this out." Chloe's eyes narrowed and Lex felt sharp teeth cut into the palm of his hand. He yanked his hand away, giving Chloe the opportunity to push him off her and scramble to her feet.

"You..." she hissed menacingly, "Get the hell away from me." After a moment of hesitation, Lex nodded his head and stepped to the side. Like a woman possessed, she turned on her heels and ran for her father's room. He was going to be there. This was some sick joke, it couldn't possibly be the truth, because if it was, she would have felt it. She would have known it inherently, like a sixth sense. She would have felt the danger and come rushing back to the hospital just in time to somehow save the day.

By the time Lex and the other nurses had made it there, Chloe was curled up on the floor, her body trembling with silent dry sobs.

"Where's my dad?" She let out a pained cry. Lex felt something drop in his stomach and for a moment, felt like he was going to be sick. Chloe looked like death herself, pale faced and shaking with grief. He glanced at the door, fighting his urge to escape with his business-like understanding of his duty to Chloe. He had to stay here, if nothing but to hold witness to Chloe's pain.

"When we couldn't get a hold of you, we proceeded to refer the body to the coroner, to confirm or deny the traces of tranquilizers." The nurse answered quietly from the doorway.

Lex carefully bent down onto his knees and crawled toward Chloe, reaching out to stroke her back with his hand. As soon as he made contact, she whimpered and fell limp into the floor.

"This is all your fault." She choked out.

Lex silently agreed. This was his fault. It had to be. But his goal now was to keep her calm, and admitting that simply by becoming involved, he had all but secured Gabe Sullivan's death was not the way to keep Chloe under control. Instead, he continued to rub her back. "You can't think that I did this."

"It doesn't matter. I wasn't here. I should have been here. Instead I was just fucking around."

"Chloe, this isn't your fault!" He grew restless with frustration. He wasn't prepared to handle this. He had suffered through his own losses, how could he be expected to suffer through anyone else's?

Chloe blinked her eyes and looked up at Lex. "I hate you." Her voice was low and steady, and utterly calm. He instinctively withdrew his hand, and allowed a dry, sarcastic barrier to fall between Chloe and himself.

"I'm sure."

"You don't even know. You couldn't possibly understand. I loved my dad more than anything, Lex." Finally, tears began to drip down her face. She almost laughed from the relief of it, the full pain that made her feel like she had been stabbed in the chest. The loss of her father, the feeling of guilt and betrayal that attacked her everytime she glanced at Lex. She deserved this grief. All grief, all pain, everything to come. She welcomed it. Blinking the new tears out of her eyes, she brought her attention back to Lex, sitting here beside her with that goddamn blank expression on his face. "But then, maybe you have. And maybe that means there's hope for me after all, because if you can sit here looking like a fucking marble statue, completely cold, completely emotionless...then maybe one day I won't feel like I lost the only thing worth anything to me. Maybe I can be just like you, Lex Luthor, and just stop caring and stop feeling and become completely and totally dead. Just like you." Her voice crackled and trailed off as she felt a new wave of emotion wash over her. "Just like my dad." She forced through the stifling grief and continued. "It wasn't just that I loved my dad. My dad was the only person in the world who loved me. And no one will ever love me like that again."

Lex had let her talk without interrupting, figuring it simply a part of his fated punishment. As she fell back into herself, he finally opened his mouth to speak. "That can't be true."

She turned on him with anger blazing in her eyes. "Do you love me, Lex?"

The room seemed painfully silent as Lex looked at the ground. Chloe laughed at the guilty, strained look on his face, her tears suddenly feeling like ice water on her flushed cheeks. She stood up shakily, brushing her jeans off with her hands. "I didn't think so." She moved toward the door to leave.

"Chloe, please wait." Lex jumped to his feet as Chloe turned around slowly, her face twisted with the effort of restraint.

"Lex, right now I want to kill you. And looking at you makes me want to kill myself. And one death per day is enough for anyone. I have paperwork to deal with, and you have no place here. So just leave."

"I promised to protect you. I promised to look out for you, no matter what. You're not going to get rid of me that easily." He stepped toward her but she stopped his motion by placing her hands on his chest.

"I don't want your protection, Lex. You kill everything you touch." She pushed him away, maybe a little harder than she needed to, and walked purposefully toward the nurse's office to discuss funeral details.