Previously on 'Almost Over'…
But before my essence surrenders, and the waking world loses me to an overwhelming system shutdown, I swear that the hand beneath my own is softly moving.
The inner peace that has eluded me all this time finally comes back.
And deep inside, true to my soul, I know…
Going Away…
So here we are again.
Me in a hospital bed and him glued to my side like a little lost puppy.
Well, guard dog is more like it. He was there when I lost consciousness, and he's here now that I've woken up. Every time I've ever gotten into trouble - through my own fault or through his - he's always been there to put things right.
It's like the Gods themselves are trying to keep us close to each other. But even the divine power of fate cannot prevail against the interjection of my parents. And while all has been forgiven between them and Danny, it won't stop them sending me away.
I watch him gently purr out soft snores. His cold breath caresses my knuckles and my spine tingles from the very sensation. I lift my free hand to ruffle his already messed up hair. He really needs to get a trim or something.
My mom came in a few minutes ago, Danny was still sound asleep. After the huge pandemonium she'd started about my best friend and his ghost-hunting parents, all that maternal nonsense finally went down the latrine - and all Danny had to do was save my life while they were out for the evening.
Her teal eyes observed him snoozing protectively near my arm with a certain appreciation. Her million-dollar smile soon dipped into a two cent frown, almost like she had some cataclysmic information that could change my life forever. It turns out, she did.
I relay the news in my mind, try to take it in. Try to understand what they hoped this would accomplish. But alas, I cannot truly comprehend how my mom and dad think; for once I can actually empathise with a conventional teenager.
Why are there so many IV's in my arm? I feel like a porcupine. A porcupine with a major hangover.
The short wisps of exhalation suddenly stop. Danny yawns and raises his head, limply turning it in my direction. Blue eyes, half-lidded and tired out, stare at me for a moment. A warm, dazzling smile gleams at me, only to be replaced with a pained grimace seconds later.
I know what he's going to say.
"Why?"
I decide to play dumb and pretend I don't know what he's talking about.
"Why, what Danny?"
"You know very well 'what'." A vague and distant scowl triggers my guilt.
I must've really scared him – he's never seen me in that state before, no one has.
"I won't lie to you Danny," I mumble. "So, I'll just start from the beginning."
Just when I was starting to get the feeling back in my fingers, he rests his head on my hand once more, peering up at me with a peculiar sadness. It's time to come clean.
"I've been sneaking alcohol from my Dad's liquor cabinet for a while…" I pull my hand out from under his chin in shame and tuck my knees into my chest, hugging them for all I'm worth.
"How long, Samantha?"
I know he's deadly serious. No one ever, ever calls me by my full name unless they want a kick in the teeth. An angry dark cerulean ring courses through the iris of his eyes.
"Not long after freshman year began…"
He's shaking his head at me; it's obvious he's disappointed. I can no longer look at him directly and focus my attention on the heart monitor to the left, where the readings are currently picking up speed.
"…Pressure from my parents to be 'girly' – when they were home at least -, stress of schoolwork, and ghost attacks that kept me awake at night; it all added up to a great big fat migraine that I really didn't need."
Now Danny feels bad. A tiny simper escapes his throat.
"And that's when I saw it; that cute, antique redwood lacquered storage unit that my Dad stashed all his favourite intoxicants in. He only ever had a single glass of scotch once a week, which left many bottles of wine, spirits and Bristol creams just waiting to be consumed…" Thinking about what I had drunk makes me feel both sick and craving all at once. "I always had them replaced before my parents noticed."
"But Sam, I really don't get it – you've never been hung over at school or on the bus, or anywhere else for that matter." His sweet, innocent voice is cracking. And I know it's my fault. "Just tell me why you did it…"
I sense that he's not referring to the alcohol at this moment.
"I think we both know why I did it."
Glancing through the corner of my eye, I can see Danny glare at me, one eyebrow raised in what looks like confusion. So now he's playing dumb to get me to say it out loud. Great.
Sigh…
"I overheard Star and Paulina in the girl's room yesterday morning." I'll change my tone of voice to give him an idea of what they said. "…'She's such a skinny, flat-chested freak. No wonder she's always trying to be different, it's just a pathetic attempt to cover up that she knows how ugly she is…'."
Danny is aghast. The absolute contempt he feels is so strong I don't even need to look; it's radiating from him. Like some kind of demented aura of doom. Words cannot describe the exact shade of rage-filled green that devoured the blue when I finally look at him again.
I think back to what my mom said. I have to tell Danny the news.
"It doesn't even matter now; my mom and dad found out that I have a drinking problem. They're sending me away…" I don't want to continue, but he has to know the truth. "…I'll be gone for 6 months."
His body freezes and his face is marred by pure and sincere heartbreak The entire colour has faded from him. If this were a doujinshi, Danny would've turned black and white and have those weird blue venom lines rushing down his forehead. He'd probably face-fault too.
Maybe I shouldn't have told him.
No, it's too late for that. It's best that he hears it straight from me. And besides, he would've figured it out when Monday morning rolls around and I don't show up at school.
His somewhat clammy hand clasps my cheek and forces me to confront accusing, hurt-filled eyes. He's already crying an ocean of tears, that emotional barrier which most boys keep permanently up has been torn down by a knife-shaped wreaking ball. He frantically scans my expression, desperately searching for answers that simply aren't there.
Silence.
Danny breaks all physical contact and falls harshly to his knees. The tears never cease. All he does is sit there, stares into space and emits random stutters. I can't even begin to imagine what's going through his mind at this minute.
"So, in just one day, you get verbally abused, drink yourself stupid and almost die? And your parents are punishing you for it?"
He's really frightening me now. I've never seen him so enraged, yet so destroyed, all at once. Why is he so upset? 6 months isn't long, is it? He's getting hysterical. I have to try and calm him down. I painfully pluck each IV needle from out of my skin and slip down from the bed to the cold hospital floor.
"Danny…?" I whisper. "What are you getting so upset about? 6 months will go like that." I click my fingers for emphasis.
"Sam, I almost lost you, forever. Death by suicide means that your ghost would be sealed up somewhere in the deepest depths of the forbidden area of the Ghost Zone. I'd never see you again, and you ask me what's wrong like it's no big deal!" He throws his shaking arms around me and cries into my chest. "When I flew to your house, I had a feeling that something was up, but I never expected to find you bleeding like a stuck pig! Your blood was on my hands, Sam, do you have any idea how it feels to have another person's blood on you? A million things bombard your mind; it clouds your judgement and makes you feel infinitely responsible for what has been spilt!"
I put my own arms around him; he's still shaking badly and still crying his eyes out. My hand gently tickles the nape of his neck, while the other rubs his back.
"Now, now, calm down," I coo softly. He sniffles like a child, clearly soothed but still wary. His face is turning a healthy shade of pink – he's probably embarrassed because I saw him cry, and the law of males dictates that men and boys cannot cry without risking accusations of being gay.
"Where are they sending you?"
"To my cousin in England, she's 21 and just getting over alcoholism herself." Saying it out loud actually made me realise why my parents want me to go there. "I suppose it'll be like rehab but without all the doctors and paparazzi waiting to dish the dirt. Not to mention the bonus of being miles away from my parents."
I heard Danny utter a small laugh.
Again, silence.
I can see him frown. My parents wouldn't be the only thing I'd be miles away from…
"You know I'm gonna miss you, right?" I bury my face in his lush black hair and smile.
"I still don't want you to go," His crystal blue eyes pierce my heart. "But, yeah, I'll miss you too."
I hate when he looks at me this way. I simply cannot say no to those sweet puppy dog eyes – and he damn well knows it too! Makes me feel guilty for leaving, I don't want to go any more than he does, but if I'm going to get over this stage in my life then it's something I have to do.
We just sit here. No more was said about drinking problems or going away for half a year. We simply hold each other close on the cold linoleum floor, with nothing but the faint beep of a heart monitor breaking the silence…
End
If, for whatever reason,you enjoyed reading this fic, do not fret, for I am working on a sequel to it as we speak.
Thanks for reading and reviewing and I hope you enjoyed it!
SS2K4
