Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters in it.
Rated M: Just cause.
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Kakashi awoke with an immense sting in his forearm. He immediately reached for the bandaged appendage as he stifled a moan from the pain. He stood up, trying to work his body to relax.
He didn't know the time; he knew that it was late due to the darkness that lay beyond his window. Though the time at the moment did not matter to the Jounin because all he felt like doing was chopping off his arm to alleviate the pain. Massaging the offending stings to pulses of comforting numb, Kakashi became aware of Iruka sleeping soundly in their bed.
Kakashi slinked under the covers and snuggled up against the warmth, instinctively wrapping his arms around the younger man. Kakashi couldn't remember how long it had been since he and Iruka had been home together at the same time. The last time they touched, kissed, the last time he had Iruka all to himself. He wanted nothing more than to be in that safe place again. To feel the warmth of his lover's skin, to feel the heat that was Umino Iruka. Kakashi snuggled into the long forgotten warmth. Breathing in all that was his lover, smoke filling in his senses, he wanted to wretch.
On some level Kakashi knew what was happening to his relationship with Iruka. He also knew that they would have to confront each other on their problems. However, Kakashi was not sure his heart could take another emotional blow.
Losing Iruka, one out of a handful of people he loved with all his being, would tear him apart inside and out. Calling Iruka on his nightly activities would result in not only losing his lover, but a part of his heart as well. Like what had happened when his teammates had died, when the Yodaime made his sacrifice, and when his Genin team disbanded.
Kakashi couldn't bear the thought of that ever happening again, so he nuzzled closer to Iruka and let sleep overcome him. Putting off confronting Iruka, and at the same time retreating into the safe hold he longed for.
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There was a time when Kakashi cherished the mornings. Waking up in the arms of the man that he loved., bathing in the morning sun. Wishing that everyday started this way.
But in the present day, Kakashis' mornings were filled with rushing to get away from enemy ninjas, hurriedly strapping on medical bandages for festering wounds, or collapsing from sheer exhaustion.
This morning was different as Kakashi blinked from the harsh sunlight in his eyes. However that didn't stop the panic from entering his mind. He could sense Iruka moving about in their kitchen, and facing the man was not an option. Rushing to get into a new pair of clothes was futile as his legs gave in. Kakashi stumbled and landed hard on the bedroom floor, the wounds from his previous mission causing his downfall.
"What's this?" Iruka asked as he hid his mirth, "The great Copy-Ninja defeated by his own bed sheets."
Kakashi grunted as he righted himself, only to collapse back into bed. Iruka rolled his eyes as he disappeared back into his kitchen. What am I supposed to say to the man? Kakashi silently cursed his own weakness.
A few minutes later Iruka reappeared with a tray of food, "Hope you're hungry." Kakashi eyed the food wearily, "It's called breakfast Kakashi not poison."
"I know that…it's just that usually you're at work at this time," Kakashi stated as he watched the other man place the tray on their bed, "Or you're not even home," Iruka winced.
"I know I haven't been around lately, well neither of us have, but I thought we could spend the day together," Iruka said, a little hopeful.
"I'd love to Iruka, but I have to see the Godaime," Kakashi checked the clock on their nightstand, "Great…I have ten minutes to get to the Hokage's office before that old bat decides to come and hunt me down." Kakashi grabbed one of the pieces of toast on the serving plate and started making seals.
"Kakashi wait," Iruka grabbed Kakashi's hands, dispelling the Jutsu, only to have the Jounin restart the seal sequences, "Would you stop it!" Iruka exclaimed.
"Iruka I'm sorry that I don't have time for this, but I have a mission to report."
"You're always working on missions Kakashi, can't you take a break?"
"Iruka, you work twice as much as I do at the academy and mission rooms,"
"That doesn't stop me from taking a break Kakashi," Iruka said sternly.
"Don't lecture me Iruka," Kakashi growled from his throat.
"God! You're impossible."
"That's right Iruka, I'm impossible to deal with," Kakashi said as he lightly slapped Iruka's hands away, "Now if you'll excuse me, I need to see Tsunade."
Iruka looked away from Kakashi, hoping that they would finally talk things through. All he heard was the slight pop from the Jounin's teleportation Jutsu. Today was going to be a shitty day…
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Kakashi looked through the mountain of papers in front of him, wishing he had stormed off to anywhere besides the Hokage's office. With all the paper work in front of her, the Godaime would not be in a good mood. A pissed off Tsunade was like facing the wrath of an irate Naruto…or possibly Sasuke. Kakashi would have paid his life savings to fate if it meant he could be at home with Iruka. In the Chuunin's arms, snuggly safe, but he knew that they were on separate paths in their lives. Both unable to accept the fact that they were slipping away from each other.
"What the hell did you do to yourself Hatake?" Tsunade shifted a stack of paperwork to get a better look at the Copy Ninja.
"Standard case of shuriken dodging gone wrong," Kakashi sheepishly mumbled under his breath as the Godaime healed the wounds on his forearms.
"Seems like you got careless to me," Tsunade smirked.
"Distracted actually, I've been thinking things over," The Godaime's smirk disappeared as Kakashi continued, "I want to rejoin ANBU."
"Absolutely not," Tsunade rested her chin on top of her joined hands as she leaned in to examine the shinobi in front of her, waiting for the angry outburst.
Luckily Kakashi was the type to stay calm even despite his rage, his so called angry outburst was nothing more than creased eyebrow matched with a glare.
"Why?" He asked after he noticed his death glare was being ignored.
"Because you're too emotional for the work right now, well for you that is." Tsunade leaned forward, getting into the Jounin's personal space, "You're exceptionally early handing in your report for this level of a mission, and normally you would have waited till well past noon. Something's bothering you."
Kakashi grunted, backing away from the Hogake. Old hag is getting better at reading her subordinates. "It's nothing, I'm just pissed off that you won't let me back into ANBU."
The blatant lie didn't faze the Hokage, "Spit it out Kakashi."
"Well…" Tsunade strained her ears, "I think my Dolphin likes to play with people that I do not know." Tsunade glared and considered that beating Jounins to death would not benefit her in the future. Kakashi's was one of the worst liar's she had ever met.
"Why don't you take a vacation Kakashi, spend some time with Iruka." Tsunade said, refraining from giving the Copy-Ninja the pummeling of his life, Hokages need subordinates to boss around after all.
"Um…" Kakashi stared at his feet, Should I tell her…
"Marital problems eh?" Kakashi froze, "All the more reason why you should go home and try to work things out with him, plus how often do Jounin's receive vacations?"
"Iruka and I haven't been…we just haven't," Kakashi stopped, not wanting to talk about his lover.
"Take it from someone who knows, you're going to have to work out your problems with Iruka sooner or later, or you might not have a chance at all." The lame lie made sense to the Medic now.
"I know…I don't think I can deal with confronting him…"
"I'll give you a week, if you still feel the same about rejoining ANBU, I will not stop you." Kakashi nodded, making his way to leave the room, "Kakashi…" The Jounin paused, "For your sake, please work things out with him."
Kakashi popped out of the room with a teleportation jutsu.
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Iruka knew that he should be home right now, but instead he was wrapped up in the muscular arms of a man he didn't love. A man he was using to comfort his aching heart. He was not even sure why he was there. He remembered being at home by himself. Wondering when Kakashi would return.
Dusk settled in, and still no sign of the Jounin. By that time, he knew that Kakashi would be coming home late, if he came home at all. Another mission…
Remembering all that had happened that morning, and not being able to resolve those feelings led the Chuunin to the only refuge he could find.
He could feel the hot breath of the man under him, the taut muscles underneath the naked skin, and taste the smoky tang of the other. Iruka could care less. A perfectly hot man next to him, and he could do nothing but think of Kakashi. What the Copy-Ninja was doing, was he safe…was he even alive?
"So I was thinking about next week," The other's voice rumbled next to Iruka's ear, snapping the teacher out of his reflections, "I was thinking that we could go to dinner together, you know…finally tell the world about us."
Iruka sighed, knowing that this would finally come, "You know that I can't do that, I'm still with Kakashi."
"You can have sex with me and still say that? You're a piece of work Iruka," The older man said, smirking to himself.
"Say whatever you will, you know that this is a temporary thing."
"Temporary until the day that Kakashi is actually willing to touch your body, to actually show that he cares about you," The man's frustration oozed, "Do you honestly think that lecher is still in love with you?"
"He is," The sharp response came.
"Kakashi does not love you Iruka, not like the way that I love you."
"I'm very sure about that," Iruka got off of the bed and started putting on his clothes.
"Are you leaving because I hit a nerve about Kakashi?" When Iruka said nothing to counter the jest, the older man smirked again, "So how do you know he's still in love with you?" He asked menacingly.
I don't know Iruka almost blurted out, "I…"
Iruka was unable to finish as he was gathered into the arms of the older man, "I understand Iruka," The older man sucked on Iruka's earlobe, "You can't admit to yourself that your relationship is over, you don't have to say it out loud."
It's not! Our relationship is not over! Iruka protested. He wanted to yell, refuse the man currently fondling him from behind. But he couldn't. Kakashi…where are you? A silent tear escaped Iruka's glassy, pain filled, eyes.
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Kakashi kept his eyes trained on the bedroom window. His presence masked, he silently watched as his life was slowly unraveling."What's your next move?" The small dog asked his master. Kakashi didn't answer.
"Pakkun…" The pug looked up expectantly at his master, seeing nothing but resolve in his eyes. "We'll be rejoining ANBU again."
The dog shuddered, the tone of his master's voice reminded him of the steely determination that the man was famous for. The voice of a man who has cut off all of his emotions, "Do you think that's wise?" The pug was beginning to regret ever tracking down the Chuunin for his master.
"Go tell the others to get ready, I'll need all of your help when the time comes." The pug was slightly insulted that his master didn't answer his question, but teleported back to his brothers and sisters with no rejections.
Kakashi continued to stare at the window, with each passing second his decision was solified.