Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Naruto Characters.

Rated M: cause.

A/N: Hah! I caught a very big error, it's fixed now...I should really proof read better. Feedback is greatly appreciated.

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He lay in his bed as if defeated. The warmth was beyond his reach. The inexplicable events had played themselves over and over in his minds eye. The images burned deeper as his Sharingan whirled mercilessly.

Kakashi idly wondered why his left eye was exposed, why it was burning his chakra. He could not remember ever revealing it, all he could remember were the people slipping from his life once again.

The gift that had once protected him in the heat of battle was now slowly torturing him with the clear images of those he once loved. The images of their deaths filtered in one after another in his minds eye. The memories before he acquired the Sharingan were being reborn, as if he were reliving the experiences.

A beaten woman lay on the forest floor; her lifeless eyes staring blankly into the moon's eerie light. Kakashi willed his body to move closer to her, to save her. His weakness had caused her death. Rin, the last of his team, was dying in front of him and there was nothing he could do.

Kakashi wondered what life would be like if he had reciprocated his teammates feelings.

A golden haired man's violent outburst of chakra filtered into the air of war torn battle ground.

A deep longing to speak with his sensei invaded his mind.

A dark haired boy offering a precious gift as death approached.

He would have cursed his friend for giving him the Sharingan if it weren't for the fact that the blood limit was the reason he was alive.

A silver haired man lay bleeding to death on the kitchen floor, a pure white katana protruding from his abdomen.

More than anything he wished that he had a family to rely on.

Iruka wrapped around the arms of another man. Panting, groaning, and thriving underneath the other's touch.

Kakashi wretched, the acidy taste of bile stuck in his mouth. He let it sit there, he still cared enough not to let it escape into his mask.

All of Kakashi's worst experiences were attacking the Copy-Ninja, as if trying to get the man to realize how much his life sucked. A lesser man would have balled his eyes out. Kakashi settled on snuggling closer to his pillow. He wanted to sleep, but the bed he was in smelt of Iruka. The familiar scent was tainted with another's scent; however, Kakashi made no attempt to leave.

He could smell the other man now that he knew the scent was there. Kakashi felt like an idiot. There were so many clues, so many times to confront Iruka. Maybe he liked torturing himself. If he wanted to stop Iruka, he could have, but chose not to. Maybe this is what he really wanted, what they both wanted. Kakashi could have cared less at the moment. The practicality of the situation eluded him.

Everyone Kakashi cared for had left him, because of death, or more recently for another. He was utterly alone once again and it hurt. But he was used to it. He was made to be a recluse, always alone.

He could feel it; his senses were beginning to close into the depths of darkness. No tears would escape from his eyes, he refused to cry.

His bags were packed and the place he called home was stripped of his identity. Everything from then on would become about ANBU. No Iruka, no Kakashi, only the genius shinobi remained, the silent killer who made a name for himself in the deepest ranks of Konoha's top shinobi.

All he had to do was wait for Iruka to come home, so he could say goodbye.

His Sharingan stopped dead as he heard the front door open and shut. The memories ceased their attacks. Kakashi pushed the remaining feelings aside. Kakashi was dead. The only thing that remained of Kakashi was ANBU.

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Iruka stiffened as he entered his home, he could feel the pulse of a strong chakra coming from his bedroom. Kakashi was home and it felt like the man was waiting for him. Something was horribly wrong. The Chuunin could feel it.

The chakra called to Iruka, beckoning him to some unknown excruciating pain. Iruka idly wondered if all of Kakashi's opponents felt this. Iruka knew immediately that he had been caught.

It couldn't possibly be what Iruka thought, but as the man made his way to his bedroom he noticed all of Kakashi's novels were missing from bookshelves. The picture frames of Kakashi's team were no longer there. Even the magnets made to resemble Kakashi's Nin-dogs were gone from their places on the refrigerator.

Dread filled the man as he walked down the dark hallway.

What he expected to find in his room was a furious Kakashi ready to lunge at him and ripe out his throat. What he found was an unknown man in an ANBU uniform staring at him. The man's eerie canine mask glowing in the moonlight.

"I'm glad you're home," The man whispered.

"Ka…kashi?" The two stared at each other, both unmoving, neither spoke for awhile. Iruka was too shocked, why was Kakashi dressed like that? Why was Kakashi silent?

After awhile Kakashi pulled out a kunai and made a shallow cut into his thumb, enough to draw blood. Iruka remained silent as he watched the Jounin call his dogs. Watched him direct his dogs on several tasks, most of them were to deliver letters, but the silver haired ninja made one of the larger dogs drag a large suitcase out of the room.

"What are you doing Kakashi?" Iruka asked after the dogs had left the room.

"I'd have thought that was obvious," The man's voice made Iruka shiver. It was not the normal voice he was used to Kakashi using. The bored tone that had mirth and life hidden beneath was no longer there. It was like Kakashi was speaking through a filter that trapped all emotion. "I'm leaving."

Iruka's heart clenched. He choked as he attempted to speak.

"Mah…you don't have to kill yourself over something as trivial as this," Kakashi's calm voice filled the room. Iruka's stomach turned.

"What…why?" He doesn't care about me?

Kakashi didn't say anything; somewhere below his darkened soul lay his true feelings. Kakashi knew he could not hurt Iruka intentionally. For some off reason, he wanted to make Iruka feel it was his decision to leave. Not to hurt Iruka, but as a last ditch effort to comfort the man.

He walked slowly towards the man, whose tears were starting to fall. Laid his hand on the trembling shoulder and tightened his grip to consol the other man. "I'm leaving because I have rejoined ANBU."

"When…?" Iruka's voice cracked, "When did you decide this?"

"When?" Kakashi gave a hollow laugh, "Does that matter…"

Iruka tried to control his breathing, tried to control his emotions as the tears slipped away, tried to keep the semblance of what a ninja was. Like the man he was staring at through a porcelain mask. He failed miserably.

Iruka hands trembled as they snaked their way up to Kakashi's mask. He grabbed the ends of the ANBU mask, gripping it so tightly that Kakashi felt the wires holding the mask in place tighten painfully. "What do you mean 'Does that matter'?" Anger gushed from the Chuunin.

"Shut up," Kakashi vehemently knocked Iruka's hands away. He continued to walk away from the other man.

"…Kakashi," Iruka's pathetic plea escaped his throat, chocking on his sobs. "Please don't do this."

"Most people wouldn't be so heart broken over something like this Iruka…this adolescent drama…" Kakashi sighed, weary of how careful he had to be to prevent the shattering of the other mans heart. There was no need for both of them to be hurt beyond repair because of this. "You're better than this Iruka."

"Don't act like you know me Kakashi!"

"I asked myself as I watched you tonight," The Jounin, ever the spring of water to Iruka's burning emotions, whispered into the darkened home, "Why am I not angry…why am I not throwing kunai through that bastards windows? There were a lot of whys…then I remembered that this was my fault."

"Kakashi…you saw us?" Kakashi nodded, and Iruka froze. A mix of horror and realization stuck on his face.

"I came to an understanding," Kakashi cocked his head, as if he were giving Iruka a wide grin, "I want you to be happy. If that means me not being with you then I have to do what's right for me. Plus, a killer like me belongs in ANBU, not with school teachers."

"And you think that you'll find that in ANBU?"

"Of course, I was in ANBU before; it was where I belonged because I had no one on the outside to come home to. I'll return to the darkness if it means you'll ultimately be happy, all I ever wanted was for you to be happy. My Iruka happy…" Kakashi's grin was becoming painful, to both men.

"Kakashi…why are you doing this…do you really think that this will make me happy?" Iruka asked desperately, his mind racing to figure out what lay beneath Kakashi's words. Kakashi couldn't possibly mean this self-abusing bull crap.

"There is no other explanation for it Iruka, I did not make you happy, so you went to someone else to fulfill something I could not give. Sure I could yell at you, hurt you in other ways, but I just don't want to." Kakashi was still smiling beneath his mask. "If there's anything I want Iruka, it's for this to end, let me go so I can keep my dignity," Kakashi hands started forming seals, "Also, be happy for me…Iruka." Kakashi cocked his head to the other side, giving another smile.

Iruka could see the man smiling underneath the porcelain mask, and hated him. Hated his kindness, hated his voice that still calmed him, despite the lack of life. Worst of all, he hated himself, the man who turned Kakashi back to ANBU. Iruka wanted to say something…something to stop the other man. But no words were working through the lumps in his throat.

Kakashi's attempt to be kind was crueler than any yelling or beating and it left the Chuunin speechless.

"Goodbye Iruka." Kakashi teleported, leaving smoke whispers in his wake.

Iruka dropped to his knees, the tears flowing harder as he screamed into the night.