Title: Sharp Pointy Metal Objects.
Fandom: Stargate SG-1
Characters/Pairing: Col. Jack O'Neill
Table: Astrological
Prompt: Sagittarius.
Word Count: 398
Rating: T or PG for language
Summary: It's not very fair. (Spoilers for any time Jack gets skewered or stabbed.)
Author's Notes: I'm bored.
ooOooOoo
Jack knows that there are certain rules of 'Gate travel.
1.) Never go into a Stargate on a full stomach.
2.) If Daniel & Carter give two options in a crisis, try Daniel's way first. It saves time.
3.) Don't eat or drink anything given to you by the locals unless they too are eating or drinking.
4.) Don't shoot anything until it is proven that it is either inanimate or hostile.
5.) Do everything within your power to make sure that you never leave a man (or woman, or Jaffa) behind.
Jack knows that there are also certain things that always seem to happen to his team. Murphy's Law is always in effect even if the laws of physics are not. When in a more advanced society Carter always seems to capture the heart of the nut job who can't ever give the Earth anything, but wants her to stay. When in more primitive societies Jack knows he can count on one of two things happening, Daniel will catch the attention of the local sociopath, or Teal'c will catch the attention of someone who wants revenge for some crime done by the Jaffa.
He knows these things and plans accordingly. He keeps his eyes peeled and his wits about him and tries very hard to keep his team together and alive. He also tries to plan for the other little foibles and habits of his team. When captured by the goa'uld Daniel will bait the snakes into torturing him, Teal'c will be roughed up by other Jaffa so they can prove they are loyal, and Carter will be pulled aside by a Tok'ra spy and told just what they are screwing up by living and how they won't be rescued.
All of this he understood, and he even liked how predictable it all was.
What he didn't understand was how he seemed to be the one who attracted the sharp metal objects with points. He was the one who got skewered and pinned on the 'Gate room wall by that funky egg. He was the one who had a trinium arrow from the Salish go into his arm. He always seemed to be the one stabbed, poked, prodded, and shot at. Carter got the guys, Daniel got the crazies, Teal'c got the vigilantes, and he, Colonel Jack O'Neill was the one who got to be the pin cushion.