Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from Naruto.
Rated R: Language, violence, implied adult situations.
A/N: Another chapter comes to an end. This was hard to write…too much description, but I'm determined to become better at this…no matter how many fics I slaughter to accomplish being able to write better descriptions. Also…writing battle scenes is my new bane, I do not like it at all, and thankfully this is the last chapter with a battle scene in it…well for this fic.
Thank you to all of those who reviewed, I appreciate it A LOT! It keeps me going. Any type of feedback is greatly appreciated, and adored (I save all the emails I get from of reviews). On to the Fic!
Always Alone Chapter 8
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He was no hero, there was seldom need for one in the ninja world. Heroes, saviors, those who stood out in the light to protect the weak, they were the men and women that played fair. They won their battles by being just, and upheld a standard. They were not ANBU.
They were not heroes, the deepest of the ninja sects hunted, killed, and pillaged all of those that stood in their villages' path. They hid bombs in children's toys, stabbed once trusted allies in the back, and bathed in their enemies' blood.
He was not a hero…
Kakashi had thought that rejoining the ranks of ANBU had been a good decision on his part. He would not have to deal with the trivial feelings, which came with heartbreak, if he was trying to block out all emotions. However good of a job he had been doing in ANBU, the stoic façade had withered away when Iruka had stumbled to his apartment, battered, broken, and needing Kakashi.
It disturbed Kakashi, to know that the Chuunin still wanted him. After everything they had been through, and it was affecting his performance on missions. Not the easy crap, like killing people, but after the deed was done, when he could see the damage that he dealt.
Kakashi was bathing in blood. The roots of his hair were dyed by obsidian liquid. This was part of any mission, part of any shinobi's life. Especially for those who were labeled as genius, kids that turned into legends that were destined for the dark ranks of ANBU. It was his life, it came naturally, yet he had to keep the bile in his throat in the aftermath of his skirmishes.
No matter whom his enemies were, whether they were criminal bastards or seemingly innocent politicians, their deaths made his skin crawl. The sickening amount of blood as it splattered out of its owner's still twitching body. The way it stuck to his skin, hair, and clothes. It made him sick, and yet he had dealt with the emotions, learned how to tune it out. He taught himself how to ignore the sensations that his body told him, that this was wrong, sick and twisted. Kakashi had forgotten how hard this part was, the afterglow of murder.
They all bleed so much…
Would he bleed to that extent, seemingly gallons of the precious life blood spilling itself onto the floor as death took over his body. How would he feel if he found his precious person lying on the floor like this? Even more importantly what would it be like to find out that his precious person had been the cause of all this carnage?
It was absurd, the thought of a killer having a lover, yet he had them…no, he had one. The man had stayed with Kakashi unaware of what the Jounin was capable of. That he could paint a room blood red with a single kunai. That the red ink was from 'targets,'…people who were deemed unfit to live because of politics.
If he knew…Would he stand by my side?
He could not answer that, only the man who held his heart could, and that man would never see this side of him.
In reality, Iruka would never see Kakashi for what he truly was.
Assassin, an emotionless tool, monster, genius, a murderer… the common terms for men and women that called themselves ANBU.
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Iruka drifted in and out of consciousness, the warmth enveloping his mind to croon him back to sleep. The bed reminded the Chuunin of safety… of Kakashi, so much that he was loath to leave the fluffiness of it all. But the thought of being late for his early morning desk shift at the mission's room beat out the sleep haze. With the resolve that rivaled even the greatest of lazy-bastard Jounin's, Iruka pulled himself out of Kakashi bed.
Iruka stopped at Kakashi's dresser and pulled out some clothes. Kakashi wouldn't have minded him taking…borrowing clothes, they had done it in the past. Although Kakashi's pants sagged more than he liked on his smaller frame, not that he was taking the garments because it smelt like Kakashi. The Jounin had basically banned him from returning home, so wanting to stay in good graces with the man, Iruka just borrowed whatever he could of Kakashi's. Plus it was easier than going back to his home to get a couple spare changes of clothes.
It had been several days since Kakashi had left for his mission, and Iruka was getting antsy about the Jounin's return. He often did, but this time it was the prospect of what would happen to their relationship, now that they were talking to each other again.
He'd have to thank Asuma, after he beat the shit out of the man.
The chain-smoking Jounin had made his appearances sparse, avoiding Iruka rather than the other way around. Apparently the man had enough grace to know that he was wrong in his drunken rage. So much that he had stopped all advances on Iruka, it made the Chuunin happy. However, he still wanted to rearrange the other man's face into an unrecognizable puddle of oozing, crap filled, shit…
Iruka coughed, trying to get his anger under control. He would be late for his shift if he kept stewing in his emotions while trying to get ready.
By the time Iruka was ready to leave, he had about ten minutes to run a couple miles to get to work. He ran out the door, in such a hurry that he plowed right into a shocked Hagane Kotetsu.
"Sensei…you should really watch before you run someone over…" The younger man sighed as he picked himself up.
Iruka blushed a little and offered a quick apology, "Sorry, I'm in a rush to get to work."
"This is for you," Kotetsu offered the other man a small scroll, "Tsunade said to report to her immediately, and that you're relieved of your shift."
"Okay…" Iruka nodded mechanically as he read the scroll.
"ANBU Operative 9-15: Mission successful…sustained critical injuries… taken into intensive care."
…
Kakashi.
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Another simple operation and it was going horribly wrong, for a genius shinobi with over a thousand successful missions, Kakashi had been slipping more and more as of late. Even as a stray kunai nicked his neck, he was pissed off at himself for letting it happen.
He had stayed in the targets room, a daimyo accused of treason that had to be taken out, a little longer than he should have. Really, only about five minutes, but it was enough time for all of the cities ninja's to catch scent of the blood and come running. He had to dive out of a glass window just to avoid the onslaught of kunai's and shuriken.
"Hound respond," Kakashi's ear piece blared in his ear, his teammates had probably heard the ruckus from their rendezvous point. Kakashi did not have time to respond as a particularly flashy fire-jutsu took out the tree branch he was aiming to land on.
"Respond operative!" The panicked voice yelled in his ear, not that the bastard had anything to yell at in the first place. He was not the one with the psychotic ninja's on his backside.
"Kakashi!" It came again just as a kunai found its way into the silver-haired man's already injured shoulder.
"Would you shut the hell up!" Kakashi growled as he quickly disposed of the offending shinobi.
"Are you okay?" The concerned, annoyingly familiar, voice seeped through.
"I do not like bleeding, if that's what you mean."
"Give us your position and we'll be right there."
"About half a mile from rendezvous…approaching from east." Kakashi huffed out, dodging more projectiles while successfully switching off his communicator. All he needed was for his teammates' voice to distract him. He wanted to live. He wanted to see his Chuunin teacher again. And that was not going to happen if he was focusing on an irritating voice in his ear.
Another sharp pain spread in his back, a surprise kunai had found its target again. Kakashi had to wonder why he was getting injured so much, it was not uncommon, but it was like he was a rookie all over again. Could it have possibly been because of the emotions he let loose after killing his target? Either that or he was getting old…
Kakashi was not sure which answer was worst.
A shuriken scratched the armor protecting his forearm; it bounced harmlessly away, but fueled the Copy-Ninja to run faster. He turned for a second, felt out a chakra pattern and threw a kunai. Kakashi picked up a slight grunt and smirked to himself. Jerk.
His victory was short lived as he was surrounded almost instantly by the complex's shinobi. Each of whom he could take out in a one on one match, but the sheer volume of their numbers was beginning to wear on his brain. He might not live if he actually tried to kill them all, but it was better than running like a coward. With that resolve, Kakashi pulled out his father's tanto, and lit it with his chakra. The white shining blade made a few of his pursuers back off, the smart ones, and made others launch into attacks, the stupid ones.
Kakashi disposed a wave of enemy ninjas, it was not easy and he was taking damage, but at least he was not dead…yet. His energy reserves were running low, and there were still about twenty of the men left. If only he could bring out the necessary chakra for a Raikiri, all of them would be dead in an instant, but he had been fatigued even before the mission had started. It had not even been that long since he had rejoined ranks, and he was already faltering.
He really needed a vacation…
Kakashi gathered his chakra and charged his remaining opponents with a battle cry, taking five of them out with momentum alone. It was short lived, like everything in his pathetically blood filled life. One of the smarter enemy-nin's had attacked from above, effectively pinning Kakashi to the forest floor.
Kakashi closed his eyes, his hands were pinned beneath a heavy set of legs. He could not perform seals for an escape jutsu. Resigned, he closed his eyes and waited for the finishing blow to come.
"Get up you lazy bastard!" The weight on his torso was suddenly lifted, Kakashi sprang to his feet in an instant. The eerie pale mask of his teammate over the corpse of the man who had just been on him met Kakashi's eyes.
"Took you long enough," Kakashi smirked, the two remaining members of his cell appeared next to his captain. At least he did not have to work as hard now…
Or so he thought, as he noticed a slight limp in his captain's stride. A common injury, yet one that would disable a normal person from running, but they weren't normal after all. His captain made quick work of half of the remaining attackers, scaring most of the none-bloodied men into screaming and running for their lives.
"Leave them to us," The quiet voice of their kunoichi teammate said as she dashed, followed by his other teammate, after the cowards who ran.
"So," Each man stood paired up again another, "Think you can handle this by yourself?" Kakashi smirked under him mask.
"Che," The man said, recognizing the jest under the question, "Shut up Kakashi,"
"I thought we weren't supposed to use our real names on missions?"
"Would you shut u-!" The captain was cut off as a kunai barrage barreled at him. Kakashi however, did shut up and went to work on his opponent.
It was quick and easy, the kid was probably just too scared to leave his leader's side. Considering how much of a fight the man was giving his captain, Kakashi was not surprised. The man was on an equal level as his teammates, meaning that Kakashi could not interfere in the battle, unless a chance opportunity presented itself. Which was highly unlikely.
Kakashi turned away and readjusted his headset so that he could switch it back on, he wanted to make sure that the rest of his team was safe, or if they needed his assistance. A strangled cry caught his ear and he instinctively turned at the sound.
His ANBU captain was on the forest floor, his mask torn off, the last of their enemies was setting up for a finishing move, and Kakashi's breath had caught in his throat. Not because of the dangers that had presented themselves, but because his captain had brown hair. It ran to his shoulders, stopping just below his tanned neck. The man's eyes were deep brown, intense and strangely calm in the face of death. If it wasn't for the paling of his face, that made the scar run across his nose even whiter, Kakashi would have believed the man to be fearless.
Why is he here? Why is he an ANBU captain? Why the hell is he not MOVING!
Kakashi's brain and heart functions ceased as he watched in horror as the enemy launched his attack. Towards the person he cared about most, towards his life. Kakashi's body moved on its own, not even processing the amazing speed he was moving at.
Before any of them knew it, the enemy shinobi was now trying to breath around a kunai lodged in his throat. The ANBU captain was covered in blood, but it was not his own blood seeping into his chest plates, and Kakashi was drifting to the dirt floor of the dark forest.
"Why!" The ANBU captain yelled as he caught the falling Kakashi. The man had guarded him, taken the full brunt of the attack.
"You idiot," Kakashi coughed blood into his mask; he desperately wanted it off in that instant, just to breathe easier. His captain sensed his discomfort, and with a shaking hand took off the porcelain ANBU mask and slipped off the black mask underneath it, "Thanks…" Kakashi ground out, as the pooling blood in his mouth slipped from his lips.
"Why did you take that hit?" He whispered around the breath that had caught in his throat, even drowning in blood, Kakashi was strikingly beautiful.
"Idiot…" Kakashi repeated himself, "I thought you were done surprising me with the secrets, all this time you were my captain."
"Kakashi…"
"You're such a bastard…" Kakashi was beginning to fade, could feel the darkness enclose on him, "To think I fell in love with such a liar," He closed his eyes, only to meet a hard shake.
"Don't fall asleep!" The captain continued to shake the man in his arms, trying to rouse him to stay awake…stay alive! Kakashi cracked his eyes open, annoyed at the other man, "You can't just say something like that and die on me!"
"You…always were…a drama queen," Kakashi mumbled, his blood splattering with his labored breaths, "even…in bed…"
In bed?
"Stop talking already, I'll call for back up, we'll get you home, and you'll be fine."
"Ne…Iruka…" …why? It was hard to speak, his voice did not want to cooperate with his brain.
The captain stopped fiddling with his headset to stare at Kakashi. The man had just called him Iruka…
"Why…are you crying?"
"Shut up and save your strength…" The captain said, "Baka…" I'm not Iruka…baka…
"Talk to me…" Kakashi said, his voice faded to the point of a hoarse whisper, "Please…"
"Sure…" Genma said, as he continued to lie to the dying man in his arms.