Disclaimer: I don't own Trigun or any other anime - I just like making up stories…oh, and this is my second official fan fic and my first Trigun fan fic so I'll just apologize now if it sucks. Sorry!

Chapter Four: The Heart

Death destroys more than the one that dies. How can it be possible to know the extent of the damage? She cried when I wasn't looking. I never saw her tears, but I knew they were falling. Pride kept her from showing the real pain and pride kept me from asking.

Meryl stared at the frame above her head. This is ridiculous. Why am I thinking about him?Creeeek! The occupant of the bed above her tossed shaking the bed she laid on. Ugh. What time is it anyways? Three o'clock in the morning? Four? She rolled over on her side. First a stupid sand storm and now bunk beds! The bed above her creaked and squealed with the weight of its contents.

"That's it!" she growled and pulled a pillow over her head.

I am never sharing a bunk bed with her again! Meryl rolled back to the other side of her body and faced the wall that the beds were against. I mean, how will I have any energy tomorrow if I'm not rested tonight? She tossed the pillow onto the floor. Why is she tossing and turning so much anyways? It's not like she's had anything to worry about. Vash didn't unburden his past on her and then take off. She didn't see him broken down and sobbing on her. She sighed. Plus this sand storm is so loud. How can she sleep? What makes -

"Mr. Priest? Nick? Nicolas!" the bed above her shook violently and her partner's voice called out from its rest into the night. Meryl froze. Nicolas? Wolfwood. She must miss him so much. But Meryl knew it was more than just missing him. Who am I kidding? He's never coming back. Her pain is much more severe than mine is. I'm sure Vash isn't dead. I know it! I'm going to see him again; I'm going to see him soon. But Millie…

"Nick! NO!" a sob came from the bed above her and Meryl sat up quickly, banging her head against the frame of the beds. She lost her balance and crumpled in a heap on the floor.

"Ouch!"

"mhhmm?" a sleepy sounding Millie awoke from her tragic dream. "Meryl? What are you doing on the floor?"

"I fell out of my bed because you were moving it around so much!" Meryl realized too late that her response was too harsh. Her friend might be hurt by her choice of words.

"Oh really Meryl?" the hurt was obvious in Millie's voice. "Gosh I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about it Millie. It's not a big deal." Meryl attempted to sound cheerier than she actually felt. Her response was too fake.

"You should get back into bed; it won't be comfortable to sleep on the floor. I'll be much more careful about moving."

"Millie, I'd rather talk."

"About what Meryl?"

"About you Millie. I'd rather talk about you…. I haven't been very kind to you. I just now put some thought into what your heart must be going through. Mr. Wolfwood was murdered and then Vash left so promptly – and you knew I needed to be with him so you acted well enough to leave. Millie, you weren't even allowed some down time to grieve. We should have stayed in Tonim Town a little while longer. If we had, Vash would never have had to suffer and you would have been able to heal. I'm sorry Millie. You'll never see him again and I didn't even let you say a decent 'goodbye'. I'm sorry I have been so unfeeling."

Silence filled the room.

Meryl swallowed the lump that had suddenly formed in her throat. Stupid. That was stupid. Why did I say anything at all? Suddenly her partner spoke softly and quickly.

"Meryl. It's alright. I'm ok and he's ok. We're just going through life, you see? These things happen. But don't worry Meryl. It's not so bad to be me right now. I mean, sure, I wish I could see him right now, but I believe someday I will. You know, it's easier for me to live that way. Yes, my heart is really broken, I admit that. But time is flying by me, and it won't be that much longer before I'll see him, flying through the sky to me, he'll laugh, like he always does and he'll take me to a place where I will never feel my heart break down again. So, I'm waiting until then. I don't want to talk about this again, so go to sleep. We've got a big day ahead of us tomorrow."

Meryl nodded into the darkness. Said a soft goodnight and crawled back into the bed. Moments later, when she was awoken again by the frantic movement above her, Meryl smiled and tucked herself in tighter. Strangely, it didn't bother her.

"Open your eyes Vash." A voice spoke softly in his ears. "Hurry up! Wake up! It's time to keep going! I'm so proud of you! Don't forget to take care of Knives."

"Huh? What the?" Vash sat up blinking. Where am I? He glanced around the room and saw his brother still unconscious on the table before him. Where did that voice come from? The room seemed lighter than it had been the day before. Or, was it the day before that? Vash frowned. I've lost complete track of time. How long have I been here? He slowly got to his feet. The recent experience in his brothers' mind had left his exhausted. I just want to sleep. He stood for a moment as if trying to decide what needed to be done next. What do I do now Rem? No. Knives. What do you want me to do now?

To be continued…

Goodness, I'm beginning to feel nervous about living up to everyone's expectations. Here's hoping you don't think this part sucks. Ohhh the pressure!