AN- Thank you to all you loyal readers who have been SO patient with my flighty little summer muse. You'll get ch 14 in the next week or so, then it's a little break while I concentrate on Mid-terms. Again, thanks to all those loyal readers... and I'd appreciate any feedback!

Chapter 13: Panic

Sara woke up next to the wall again the next morning, but the squishing sensation was oddly absent. She heard movement and turned her head, squinting as Grissom came into focus, dressing by the light of the bathroom, and trying in vein to keep quiet.

"Hey," Sara squeaked out as she sat up, covering her nude form with the sheet.

"Oh, hey," Grissom smiled and walked over, his pants still undone and his shirt untucked, he leaned in for a smoldering kiss. He threaded his hand into her hair, and pushed her back down to the mattress, his lips moving onto her soft neck.

"Mmmm, nice wake up," Sara said, threading her arms around his torso. Grissom moved back up to her mouth, gently pecking. "What's... with... the... clothes?" Sara asked between kisses.

"Oh," Grissom said, sitting up, suddenly a bit nervous. "I got a call last night after you were asleep." Sara raised her eyebrows, she didn't remember even hearing the phone ring. "One of the guys has arranged a meeting with a local wildlife expert. Apparently he's going to introduce us to some of the more unique species around here." He shrugged, letting a hand linger on Sara's sheet-covered thigh. "Super-secret Entomologist thing," he added with a smile.

"That sounds wonderful," Sara smiled and laughed at his nervousness. "Go and have fun," she said, leaning up to kiss him.

"Oh, ok," he said, pulling back before her lips met his, a blank expression on his face.

"What's wrong?" Sara asked, suddenly feeling very nervous as she pulled the sheet closer to her.

It took almost three seconds: Sara counted, for the spark to ignite back behind Grissom's blank eyes, signaling that he had come back to her mentally. "Nothing. I'm just going to be late if I don't hurry."

"So you couldn't kiss me?" Sara teased, dropping the sheet back down to her waist and leaning back on her elbows.

Grissom huffed as he dropped down onto the bed over her, roughly taking her lips in a heated kiss that was far too brief for Sara's taste. "If I keep kissing you, there's no way I'm going to want to stop!" Grissom practically growled, pushing himself off of the bed to finish getting dressed.

Sara dutifully covered herself again, "You're no fun..."

"You're a distraction!"

Their eyes met and held a second before smiles crept up. "Do you know what you're doing today?" Grissom asked, checking his wallet for his ship ID card.

"I was hoping you..." Sara said, locating her underwear on the floor and trying to demurely dress herself under the sheet.

"We can still do that..." Grissom laughed, and tossed Sara her bra from the counter where it'd been discarded last night. "I meant today. If this doesn't take too long I can try to meet you somewhere."

"Oh, um..." Sara stood, clad in her matching white cotton underwear, and pulled on her shorts before walking over to Grissom and laying her head on his waiting shoulder. "I don't really know. I'm sure the girls are going to the beach. I guess I'll probably just tag along with them. The boat's moving to the other side of the island today, so I don't want to repeat the lovely rumbling sensation."

Grissom leaned down to kiss her gently, "That's for tonight..."

Sara barely held back a girlish giggle. "Oh the things you say..."

.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.

As Sara showered the night's dried sweat off of her body in the coffin-sized corner the cruise line tried to pass off as a shower, she began to worry. She could take her friend's ribbing about their relationship; hell, she'd done it in school when there was no relationship.

But what about when they got back?

It was obvious that it was something that weighed on both of their minds. Could they really make this work between them? As she scrubbed her scalp free of her shampoo she prayed that there was more to their relationship than just sex. Deep in the recesses of her mind she knew there was, but once again she doubted herself.

Sara shut off the water and stepped out of the coffin and into the tiny closet of the bathroom, grabbing a towel and barely maneuvering it around herself. All those years wasted in Las Vegas couldn't have been for nothing...what if this lost all of its simplicity as soon as the ship docked?

.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.

Grissom picked up the small piece of paper on his floor as he stepped into his cabin.

G-

At the beach, will be back later.

-S

When Grissom suggested she leave a note for him as to where she was going, he'd hoped that she would have put the location as well so he could join her there. His stomach sank. What if she didn't want him there?

What if she didn't want him anymore, period?

Doubt settled in thicker than it had in a long time as he sank onto his bed. The ship was already docked on the other side of the island, the port facing a large main street and brightly colored buildings of all kinds. Somehow, the tropical setting depressed him even more. If she couldn't love him in paradise, where could she love him?

.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.

Sara stared at her door, knowing he was only a hallway away.

She should talk to him. She should. He didn't ditch her today. It was his job- his passion... and she'd gone to the beach. Separate but equal.

But she didn't feel so equal right now. She wanted to barge over there and hold him and simply stay on this wonderful ship forever.

But deep in the pit of her stomach a memory of less than a week ago festered: she stood, nervously, before his door, trying to decide if she should go in when that damn singing fish gave her away. They stood across from one another, talking about feeding his spider but meaning to say so much more. They'd parted on barely comfortable terms in Vegas, and all of a sudden everything was fine?

So Sara sat, staring at the door, waiting for the other shoe to drop.

.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.

Grissom wanted to simply hold her. He knew she was probably back: it was nearing their dinnertime. He couldn't seem to make himself move, though.

So many times in the past he was paralyzed with fear, not knowing if either move were right, so he wouldn't move at all. Or, by the time he was ready to move, Sara had already made her next one, and she was long gone, leaving him frustrated and stunted.

That's what led you to this, though: years of pent up frustrations.... Grissom rubbed his forehead. He didn't understand this worry, this fear, that had somehow built up in him over the last few days and ambushed him this morning when he was getting dressed.

What if she changed her mind when they got back? What if this was just some vacation fling for her? What if she had changed her mind already and spent the day at the beach with Danny. Was that why she didn't put where she had gone?

Grissom tried to stop that train of thought. He knew Sara. He knew her. She wouldn't do that. She just wouldn't.

But what if it all fell apart when they got home?

If only it wasn't so complicated.

.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.

They stared at each other from across the dining room, loneliness and sadness veiling regret, confusion, and passion.

For Grissom, dinner lost its taste. Nothing was as sweet as Sara's lips against his, or as salty as the skin on her neck when they were making love.

For Sara, dinner had no meaning. She couldn't eat thinking that somehow something had gone horribly wrong. She nibbled around her meal, forcing herself to eat it, but remembering how Grissom had nibbled her flesh that morning sent nauseous ripples through her whole body.

The two stared coolly through the meal, and silently waited and watched as most of the dining room left.

Screw it, Sara thought to herself. If he wanted her, he'd have to come get her. Standing up slowly, she held her head high and left the dining room out of the doors closest to her, which avoided Grissom all together. Outside of the dining room her shoulders slumped sadly as she headed for her room. On the stairs she stopped to listen, but heard no footsteps behind her.

Sara wanted to cry.

(TBC...)