Chapter Title quote: "Maybe you were just looking, but you weren't actually seeing." –Hilary Duff, Cinderella story.
Hahaha…
I don't own gakuen alice, alice academy, or campus alice… hehehe…
Looking, Not Seeing
'WHAT THE—'
'What does she think she's doing!'
What he saw probably made his heart break to pieces
'She… she did not just… HUG him did she?'True enough, Mikan had just wrapped her arms around Ruka's neck. What made things worse was the fact that…
'Did Ruka just hug her back!' He looked around, looking for a sign of Hotaru, hoping that this was just the movie. But it wasn't.
'You're too late,' said the voice in his head.
'This is just a nightmare,' he repeatedly told himself.
'You're losing it,' replied the voice.
'I lost…'"Tch," he said. They were both smiling now. He was jealous, yes, he admits that fact to himself, but he blamed himself for this. Once more, the Black Cat jumped from tree to tree, though not knowing where to go. His sole purpose was to get as far as possible from them. Somehow, he found his way back to the tree where he and Mikan sat awhile ago.
'Tch, how ironic,' he thought. Meanwhile, back to where he fled, Ruka was now standing alone, smiling with contentment. Suddenly, the bush beside him quivered. He stared at it curiously, wondering what could have caused the movement, and lens seemed to have grown from it, popped out like a daisy.
'Lens?' he thought for a moment, and it just hit him.
"Ho-Hotaru?" he called. The bush parted into two, revealing a raven-haired girl holding a videocam.
"That was a good one," she said, patting her camera.
"You just didn't—"
"I won't pass up an opportunity to get rich."
"Your plan worked."
"It always does," she replied, giving him again a smile of contentment. She never smiles, only seldom. But she can't help but feel happy for her best friend. She, after all, prevented her from turning into a cold-hearted person like her brother.
---
The image of the two kept flashing in his mind as he sat on a tree branch.
Silence.
A gust of wind…
Silence…
The Rustling of leaves…
Silence…
Silence…
"Natsume!" a voice cried.
"Huh?"
"Natsume, where are you!" the voice cried again.
"Stupid girl," he whispered.
"Natsume!" she cried once more.
She looked up to see where the voice came from. "Oh, so there you are!" she said, smiling sheepishly.
"What do you want, Strawberries?" he spat looking away.
"For the hundredth time, my name is—"
"Whatever," he said, completely cutting her off. "What do you want?" he repeated. Mikan could only sigh.
"I… I wanted to tell you something…" she said. She took her gaze away from him when he looked at her.
'She's probably going to tell me what happened,' he thought bitterly. 'As if seeing it myself wasn't enough.'
"Little girl, if you're gonna tell me what happened between you and Ruka, then don't," he said. Mikan's jaw dropped. She was clearly not expecting this.
"You… you saw?" she asked, stammering.
"Who wouldn't?" he answered, making her rather annoyed.
'Sheesh, if so, what's wrong with him?' she thought.
"Did… did you hear?"
"Can't. I was far."
"But then you—"
"But I don't need words to explain what I saw," he said, cutting her off again. Jealousy was completely taking over him now, and he can't help himself any longer.
"But Natsume, you don't—"
"Look, you're wasting my time," he told her, motioning for her to leave.
"Look you have to—"
""I told you little girl, just go away!" he yelled, lowering his head so that his bangs could cover his eyes. 'Smooth move,' the voice in his head said sarcastically. Mikan was taken aback with his reaction. She usually received annoying remarks from him, but without him emphasizing each one. This time, she was yelled at, and this time, she won't accept that.
"Natsume you idiot!" she yelled, taking Natsume by surprise.
"You're the idiot," was all he could say.
"No, Natsume, you are! You're the idiot! If you're angry at me because of what you saw, then you really are! I don't know why you're acting like this, but you don't understand anything!" Natsume looked at her, stunned. 'What could she mean by that?'
Seeing that she had finally caught his attention, she took a deep breath and started speaking once more. "What you saw isn't exactly how you saw it. Ruka came there and told me that he loves me. At first, I thought he was just acting, and then he told me he wasn't. I didn't know what to say to him. I was confused.
But then I asked him what love is. If it was the same feeling of concern towards another person, that you really care for that person no matter what, that you would do anything just to make that person happy. He said that basically it was, and then he asked me how I knew about it.
That was when I realized that that was the same way I felt about you. He said that I love you, and I thought that maybe I do. And then I told him that I was sorry, because I didn't feel the same way as he did for me. He said it was all right, but then I started crying because I thought I hurt him. So I hugged him coz I didn't know what else to do. I felt sorry for him because he told me he loves me and then I just rejected him.
That's what really happened, Natsume, but I know it's useless for me to say that."
Mikan turned around and was about to leave when she told him over her shoulder, "Oh yeah, and if you think that Ruka hugged me back, then you're exaggerating. He just gave me a pat on the head because he thinks I might feel awkward after what I said… she broke off and sighed.
With that, realization just hit him, and Mikan's words echoed through his mind.
'He said that I love you…''Maybe I do…'
'I realized that that was the same way I felt about you…'
'Way I feel about you…'
'I love you…'
"Mikan, wait!"
madoka: wah! I don't know what 10-year-old children think about what love is! So, I just put up the simplest meaning that I could give to what we call love… so it's kinda, I don't know… hehehe… it's kinda weird… yeah… that's it… weird… hehehe… I'm weird at writing… I do better with drawing… anyways…
just so you know… I'm filipina…hehehe… yes i'm a girl.
and I'm the sort of mikan and natsume combination (but no fan club and thankful). Top student, secretive, but noisy in the classroom (does that make sense?), daydreamer, loves to read, tries to make people happy… aw… yeah, right… whatever… hates boring, love's quiet… I'm like my own paradox… just read my profile if you want to know me… hahaha… main point is I'm weird!
natsume: I'm not THAT mushy.
madoka: I know. You're as hard as rock, as cold as ice.
natsume: then why did I act like that?
madoka: coz u love her and I know you do. I want to make you blush in my story! Hahaha! Tomato-head! Hahaha! Let's see, Ruka's a cherry, Mikan's a strawberry, and you'll be the tomato! Hahaha!
natsume: idiot.
madoka: what's that!
natsume: idiot.
madoka-san: take that back! I'm older than you!
natsume: oh yeah? How old are you?
madoka: secret! I'm older and you know it!
natsume: whatever.
madoka: bleh! (sticks tongue out)
hotaru: will we pop out in the next chapter?
madoka-san: hm… most probably, unless you want the 9th chapter.
hotaru: mm.
madoka: still in need of vocabulary assistance… hahaha… hey hotaru? What do you think about love?
hotaru: mm.
madoka: aw come on hotaru!
hotaru: you're beginning to act like mikan.
madoka: oh yeah, I could be putting up a chapter that is mainly explanation of the project, and that sort of stuff that I didn't make clear… hehehe…
disappointed? Happy? Contented? Frustrated? Upset? Satisfied? Tell me! Either by review, or by message… hehe… anything accepted.
i would like to extend my deepest gratitude to ladyerudite, thanks for the review and for your adive! haha! this time i'll reread my work before i publish it. to marie, thanks for pointing out my misspelled words! i didn't notice i had them all over this story. hahaha! thanks a lot.
also thanks to ayu7, sasunaru-love, hopelessromantic75, sakura04, and to everyone! hehe...
i sorta updated each chapter, just corrected my misspelled words and forgotten punctuation marks! hehehe... thanks!