Chapter 1

"You have been avoiding me, Ailen Mel."

Shawnkyr didn't look up from the report in her hands as Jagged Fel settled awkwardly onto the bench next to her. "I have been busy. Should you not be resting? Your wounds are not yet healed."

His fingers came into her view as they curled around the top of her datapad and gently removed it from her fingers. Her gaze lifted to meet his. Jag's eyes dropped to the data pad and his eyebrows arched. "Busy with service and tactical reports? So busy you cannot visit me in sick bay?" His gaze lifted again, his blue eyes meeting her red orbs. "That is a very weak excuse, Shawnkyr."

She didn't shy away from his gaze, but he could feel those red orbs taking in his appearance. The loose robe, shirt and pants he'd been issued from the sick-bay staff a direct contrast to her carefully controlled military appearance. She arched an eyebrow. "You do not look as if you should be out of sickbay."

He almost snorted. "I am injured, not an invalid. If you would come see me I would not need to put my recovery at risk."

"Are you recovering?"

"Slowly." He smiled faintly. "I have it on good authority that my internal wounds are mostly healed and the broken ribs will soon be mended. It is the leg which is taking so long."

Her gaze dropped to the loosely fitted pants and where they strained around the geli-cast affixed from knee to mid-foot on the left side. "Does it hurt still?"

"Only when I am bored beyond all measure." His dry response brought her gaze back up. "You have been avoiding me since the battle, why? Have I done something to offend you?"

Her gaze shifted away from him, looking beyond to the empty officer's lounge. "No."

Jag studied her profile, noting that the skin around her eyes had tightened. She was not a beautiful woman by human standards. She was too tall, too well muscled and too sharp of feature. Her chin was strong, her nose elegant with lips that curved softly - except when displeased. She was planes and angles, softness and strength; and she was Alien to them. Too Alien for some, yet Jag never felt more at home then in her presence. She had accepted him as completely as he had accepted her.

"You are not being completely truthful, Ailen Mel." He smiled faintly. "We have been friends too long for lies."

She remained silent, not the reaction he'd been expecting, looking beyond him, as if she weren't able to look at him.

"Shawnkyr?"

She finally turned her gaze back to him. "I must go." She reached for her data pad.

Jag didn't relinquish his hold and her reach brought her face to face, inches apart with him. She didn't look at him, keeping her gaze locked on the datapad as she reached for it. Jag held it tightly as her fingers curled around it on the opposite edge. "You are not getting out of this that easily. What have I done that you can no longer speak with me?"

He saw her close her eyes, only briefly, but caught the flash of pain she attempted to hide. "Shawnkyr?" His voice was soft, his eyes searching her face. "What changed?"

"Nothing."

She tried to hide the pain in that word, but he could hear it. He heard it in the tightness of her speech; saw it in the rigidity of her features. Nose-to-nose, he stared at her until she lifted her gaze to meet his. There was defiance in her gaze. Defiance mixed with determination but it failed to hide the painful turmoil he'd failed to see before.

"What have I done to hurt you?"

She pulled away, putting distance between them. "You have done nothing, Jag. Nothing at all." She jerked the pad from his fingers and stood to move away.

"Running does not become you, my friend."

"I am not running."

"Lying does not either." He watched her spine straighten at his mild accusation. "You have been avoiding my questions."

"You will never change, Jag." Her voice was carefully controlled as she spoke, but she didn't look at him. "You are on a path of self-destruction, taking risks without thought of those who... care for you."

He blinked, confused, opening his mouth to defend himself, but she continued, unable to see him.

"You have put yourself, the commanding officer of the fleet in life-threatening positions, deliberately placing the fleet in jeopardy. Your ego has placed you in the position to take personal action against the people you feel betrayed from. You have given no thought to the consequences. You have taken the betrayal of Jaina Solo so personally you made her your responsibility to stop. You have-"

"Enough." Jag rose to his feet, standing unsteadily on the one still in the cast. "Why did you not come to see me sooner with these concerns? Why wait until now, after everything has been finished?"

She took a deep breath, turning to face him. "Would you have listened, Tako?"

Jag searched her face for any clue as to what she was really thinking. "I like to think I am a reasonable man and say yes."

"You are not reasonable when it comes to Jaina, Jag. The last engagement proved that."

Her voice didn't change pitch, but he caught the slight flinch, the hesitation before Jaina's name. "Are you jealous, Ailen Mel?" He stepped towards her, searching her face. He caught the slight, almost imperceptible change of color on her high cheek bones. She was taller than he by just enough that they weren't eye to eye, but he didn't let that stop him. He stepped closer, into her personal space, a place that none ventured outside of the training salle.

She stiffened, staring at him, watching him cautiously, but she didn't move, didn't run. "Jealousy is a human emotion."

"But not foreign to the Chiss. Jaina's declaration of love bothers you."

She didn't deny it, even though it wasn't a question. "I am... concerned what could happen should she return. You do not act rationally around her, Jag."

He reached up slowly, so she could pull away if she wanted, and gently, with only his finger tips, traced the color on her high cheek bones. He felt her shiver, even though she didn't move, felt the slight press of her cheek against his finger tips as she leaned into the gentle caress. It was a move he was certain she wasn't aware of.

He dropped his fingers.

"Jaina is a part of my past. She is no longer the Jaina I knew and loved and while a part of me is grateful for the experience of her, I hold no illusions of a happy ending. She betrayed me when she joined the enemy of the Chiss. The Chiss are my people. Their enemy is my enemy. Your enemy is my enemy. A man cannot ask for a truer friend."

She looked away, stepping back from him. Jag could tell immediately from her body language that she was running from him. He suspected he knew why, but he couldn't confirm it without spooking her further. "Ailen-"

"Do not." She put her hand up, cutting him off, her gaze hard when it returned to his. "Get better soon, Jag. I will come visit you in sickbay."

And she was gone.

Jag stared at the door where she'd disappeared before the slight throbbing of his leg finally brought him back to himself. She'd fled from him. Shawnkyr, his best friend, had run from him. He sank back down to the bench where he'd found her scant minutes before, giving his leg a rest, and wondering what he'd done. Or what he hadn't done.

The thought rose unbidden in his mind as he replayed their conversation in his mind. He'd not said anything that would give offence. He hadn't downplayed her feelings or been untrue to his own. He'd been open and honest with her, even found her blush appealing.

Had she been offended by his touch? It was possible. The Chiss didn't like to be touched as a general rule, but Shawnkyr was no typical Chiss. True, they'd not interacted physically beyond the training mat, but she did accept his touch in directive situations. Impersonal situations.

He frowned slightly. Was that the problem? He'd felt the distinctive surge of desire when his fingers had touched the soft skin of her face. Had she seen it, been offended by it? He felt a tug in the pit of his stomach as he thought about it. She was attractive to him. It wasn't a surprise; he'd always admired her, desired her even. He'd come to see that she was far more suited to him than Jaina had ever been, but never held illusions about the possibility of a match until now. Had she seen that and been repulsed?

Or had she read the message from their fathers?

He pushed himself to his feet, ignoring the twinge in his leg and started back towards his own quarters instead of sick bay. He pushed himself harder on his walk, letting the pain melt away the disturbing thoughts.

Shawnkyr had said she would visit him in sickbay; she would simply have to come find him privately, for their talk was far from completed.