Disclaimer: I don't own Trigun or any other anime - I just like making up stories…oh, and this is my second official fan fic and my first Trigun fan fic so I'll just apologize now if it sucks. Sorry!

Chapter Fourteen: Dealing with Feelings

Butterflies are such beautiful creatures, colorful and graceful. But when they're in your stomach they can be the worse thing in the world. This butterfly of love that seemed once so illusive is now quite the frustration. Why can't I do anything about it?

"What are you doing?" Meryl's demanded.

"Hello again!" Vash was straightening himself from his brother's headlock.

"Er, yes, hello." Meryl wasn't sure how to respond.

"You were expecting us, correct?" Knives shrewdly glanced over Meryl's figure.

She cleared her throat. "Yes we were." She shot a look at Vash before thrusting her hand at Knives. "We haven't been properly introduced yet, have we? I'm Meryl –"

"Stryfe. I know." Knives interrupted and tapped his forehead. "Pleased to meet you I'm sure." He said the last part looking past Meryl, as if he were acknowledging her presence merely by word, because he did not look at her.

Meryl brought her hand back to her side, turned a bit red and blinked at her new acquaintance. Vash, seeing her reaction decided to intervene. He stepped forward towards her and into the house. "It smells good in here! I hope you ladies didn't go to any trouble for our sake."

"Well, I didn't, anyway." Meryl raised an eyebrow at Vash and crossed her arms in front of her. "This way to the dinning room, Marianne is waiting for us."

The brothers followed behind Meryl down the hallway in silence, which was fine as far as Meryl was concerned. Her mind was racing. I've got to pull it together. Why am I acting like a moron? He shouldn't make me nervous it should be the other way around! He's the one who took off and then brings his evil brother out among decent people! I can't believe he'd be so stupid! What's wrong with him anyways? Why is he acting like a moron? He didn't act this stupid before he left. So why's he acting like this now? What's going on with him anyways? Meryl frowned. Why are they being so quiet?

But the brothers were in fact having a silent conversation of their own.

Aw, man…why do I lose it whenever she's around! Vash was whining.

It's because you're nervous. Although I can't understand why, she's not really impressive; she's short and mean, if you ask me. Listen Vash, you've really got to get a grip. Knives responded. She's going to think you're a moron.

Yea, that's probably true. She probably already thinks I am.

Actually yes, she does. Right now, in fact, she's wondering why you're acting so stupidly.

But I can't help myself, I get all giddy and excited – I completely lose it.

You can help yourself and you're going to have to. Pull yourself together; you've been through too much to give up now. If she's as important to you as you say, then you'll have to show her you're serious.

Vash nodded. You're right. I have fought too hard to let a little nervousness ruin my plans. She probably sees past my stupidity by now anyways.

Are you going to keep your cool now? Knives patted his brother on the back.

Yea, I'll be fine. Vash smiled back at him.

Meryl came to a stop in front of a large set of doors, opened the right one and ushered the men in. Marianne was standing in front of a chair at the end of the table and smiled warmly to her guests. "Hello, and welcome my friends! Please, be seated." She waved a hand at the table.

Oh boy, here we go. Meryl found herself being assisted into a chair across from the empty seat that Vash would soon fill. She smiled over at Marianne and then found herself staring straight into the eyes of Vash the Stampede as he sat down across from her. He smiled at her with his eyes sparkling. He looks strange, like he's been out running in circles, she thought. This is going to be the most awkward dinner conversation of my life, I guarantee it. She smiled back at him and then sighed. The foursome filled their plates in silence, except for the occasional tapping and clicking of their silverware against their plates.

"So Mr. Vash," Marianne broke the silence to begin conversation. "It's nice to see you again; Meryl has informed me that the warrant for your arrest has been lifted. Tell me, what have you been doing since being freed of your condemnation?"

"Well Miss Marianne, it's good to see you again too. You've heard right, I'm a free man and I'm actually quite relieved, it was a real hassle avoiding all those bounty hunters." Vash smiled somberly. "Anyways I had a lot of things to take care of when I parted company with the insurance girls. Actually, as you can see, I was off finding my brother." He waved at the end of the table where Knives sat opposite the Marshall.

"Of course!" Marianne smiled at Knives. "You must be the infamous Knives I've heard so much about."

Knives eyes squinted at the woman before him. She had a lot of nerve. "I am Vash's brother Knives, yes."

"Tell me Knives, from what I understand of your history, you're responsible for quite a few deaths. Am I correct?"

"You are correct Marshall." Knives put down his fork and put his elbows up on the table. "I admit that I am responsible for the deaths of many people."

"I wonder that you owe up to it so proudly. Or, do you feel sorry for being the cause of so many deaths?" Marianne hesitated. "Are you repentant?"

"Why be repentant? Many people kill and are killed. My sin is no different than many others. I'm sure even you have had to murder a criminal or two in your day, and I'm sure you weren't repentant. Therefore, as I have killed so have you."

"I have acted in justice." Marianne growled.

"As have I." Knives scowled.

"How can killing hundreds of people be just?" Marianne jumped to her feet, knocking her chair to the ground behind her.

"Show me a completely innocent man." Knives shouted. "It's impossible. Everyone sins, they either act or think evil things. No one is innocent. Anyone who dies is merely receiving their punishment. Whether I kill one man or a hundred it has no effect, they're all evil."

"Kill one or a hundred. You only hang once." Marianne smiled sweetly.

"Um, this topic is very fascinating, I'm sure." Meryl interrupted. "But I think it's about time we heard the story of how you two found each other. What do you say Vash? Care to fill us in?"

Vash, who had been looking very anxiously at his brother and the Marshall's conversation, smiled at Meryl and cleared his throat. "I'd love to explain."

Merry Christmas Eve everyone! I hope everyone's holiday is beautiful! lisa