Chapter 2

Jaina avoided Jag for most of the day, retreating into Jedi meditation as a last resort when he asked if she wanted to play the latest sim, "Master and Commander". The last thing she needed was to be reminded of his complacent attitude. She sighed, locking the bedroom door behind her as she heard Jag start up the sim. He was so predictable, so... boring.

She made a face. When had she become so picky? She knew. When Jag's militaristic fashion of approaching everything hadn't stopped after the war. So much for "true love" and "ever after" with him. Not that she wanted them now, but she'd honestly believed they'd been well matched.

She pushed the thought away. They had been well matched. As wingmen, nothing more. Maybe she should have looked at their relationship a long time ago, but she'd been so busy. Busy avoiding him so she'd be excited when they were reunited.

"I'm pathetic." She threw herself on the bed, looking at herself in the mirror on the vanity night table. "Jaina Solo, however did you let yourself sink so far?"

She threw a pillow at her reflection. "Coward. You should just tell him, he can't be so dense not to know something's wrong. But could she break up with him on their vacation? It wasn't like she had another place to go, or even the credits to afford her own. And what had Kyp said? He'd rented the last? She made a face at herself. "Way to put yourself between a Stardestroyer and a death star, Solo."

She sighed. So what did she do? Beg the use of Kyp's couch? Her heart jumped in her chest. No, that was a bad idea, Kyp wasn't Jag. He wasn't safe, wasn't boring. At least if she continued to sleep on the couch here, she knew she wouldn't be tempted to give in to anything Jag might try. Not that he would try anything.

She rolled onto her back, staring at the ceiling. Maybe that was the problem. Jag was too considerate, too... respectful of what she wanted. He always did as she asked or what she wanted. If he'd just show a little rebellion... She shook her head and pushed herself up on her elbows. Jag would never do that.

Maybe that was the problem. "No, that's definitely the problem." Jaina pushed herself into a sitting position and hung her legs over the side of the bed, putting her chin in her hands. She couldn't stay here, not when she knew Jag was going to ask more of her. Force forbid he ever got the courage to ask her to marry him. She'd never have the heart to say yes, but she'd break his if she said no.

She pushed herself to her feet. Better to break it to him now, before he got his hopes up too far. She grimaced. As if four years wasn't enough to encourage him. She began to pack her bags, knowing she couldn't stay, not after she told him. She wasn't sure where she'd go, but she had enough credits for a hotel room and maybe she could talk Kyp into giving her a lift to the space port. Her account was accessible from there and she could afford a ticket back to Mon Calamari.

With determined movements, she packed her clothes, thankful she'd put everything into one bag. Pilots traveled light and she'd never broken the habit. She'd also never been more grateful for it than now.

Jag stared at her blankly. "So you want me to meet you back on Mon Calamari?"

Jaina stamped her foot. "Don't be so deliberately obtuse, Jag, I'm breaking up with you! We're through. You and I are no longer together. Understand?"

His expression didn't change. "It's because I'm not a Jedi, right?"

Jaina blinked. "Excuse me?"

"You don't want me because I'm not Force sensitive. I knew this was going to become an issue. I'll do anything, Jaina, anything you want, to prove I as good as you!"

She laughed. "No, Jag, it's not because you're not Force sensitive. Trust me; you don't know what kind of a gift that is. It's because I've changed since the war and you haven't. You're still standing at attention waiting the next role call. Well, I'm not waiting. Goodbye Jag."

He stared after her, not believing his eyes as she turned and walked out, the door slamming behind her. He blinked once. "She'll come back."

He continued to stare at the door for long hours, the words echoing in his head. "She'll come back... she'll come back... she'll come back..."

Kyp looked up at the knock on his door, checking his chrono. Just before noon. He stretched out with the Force and dropped his datapad. Jaina!

He reached over to grab his tunic, shrugging into it and buttoning up the front as he made his way to the door. It was half buttoned when he opened the door.

"You're early."

"And you're half naked."

Kyp's hands paused on the buttons, eyeing her. "Forgive me, goddess, I wasn't expecting you so soon or I would have polished my halo."

Jaina felt her cheeks warming. "That's not what I meant. Sorry. I just... this is not my day, can I come in?"

"When you just insulted me?"

"I'd call it a compliment." She gasped, unable to believe she'd just said it, and slapped a hand over her mouth. His eyes were glittering with amusement and she felt herself flush a deep shade of red. "Sorry, my mouth is apparently not connected to my brain today. Look, these are for you." She shoved a bouquet of the sorriest looking flowers he'd ever seen at him. "Sorry about the wilt – the snow was killing them."

He took the bouquet, accepting it in the spirit given and bowed to her, motioning her in. "Well come in, you can't keep gathering snow on my doorstep. Though I must say you make a fetching garden gnome."

She rolled her eyes. "Watch it Durron, or you'll find yourself joining them."

He closed the door behind her, the last buttons on his shirt forgotten. "Why'd you bring your bag? Staying the night too?"

She flushed for a second time. "I walked out on Jag."

"And into Kyp Durron." He smirked. "I never knew I was so irresistible."

"Don't flatter yourself. Look, I just wanted to know if you could give me a lift to the space port, I can take care of myself from there."

"Nope."

Her face fell. "Why not?"

"Because you, Jaina Solo, owe me one diner date and you're not getting out of it that easily. Sit." He waved her to the couch. "Besides, after the worry you've put me through with Jag, my poor heart couldn't take the stress of assisting you in walking away."

"You want me to be with Jag?" she frowned. "I thought you couldn't stand him."

He picked up a throw pillow as she moved to sit down and threw it at her. "I can't, you nerf. I'm relieved you're no longer with him, not upset!"

She bit her lip, trying not to grin. "Oh."

Kyp moved behind her, and shoved her down onto the couch. "I said sit, goddess. Relax, take a load off and get comfortable, I'm afraid I have to be in the kitchen."

"Kitchen?"

He gave her a pained look. "Not all Jedi have personal maids you know. Some of us have to fend for ourselves."

She laughed at the reference to Jag and shook her head as he disappeared. "Just make sure it's edible." She called after him, grinning. Kyp was full of surprises.

Jaina looked around the room, comparing it to the cabin she and Jag had been sharing. She frowned, noting that the lights weren't automatic, the fire place was so old it took fossil fuel and there were no electronics except for the datapads on the table. Inspired, she reached for one and cued a new file after saving the one he'd been reading. Without looking up, she hooked a piece of her hair behind her ear and began to write.

"What's got you so absorbed?"

Jaina jerked, looking up guiltily, her face flooding with heat. "Nothing."

Kyp smirked. "Sure, Jay, and I graduated from stun sabers yesterday."

She pulled out the data rob and stuck it in the thigh pocket of her jumpsuit, unable to meet his gaze. "It's a thank you letter, one you can have after dinner."

Kyp arched an eyebrow at her, his silent expression doing nothing to mask his amusement. Or that he didn't believe her.

Jaina felt the blood crawl up her neck and into her face, right to her hair line. She didn't dare dart a glance at any reflective surface. "Ok, Ok, it's a letter for you, but not a thank you. And no, you can't have it."

"No?"

"No." She said firmly. "At least, not yet. It's not finished."

"Can't I take just a peak?"

"How much of a peak?"

He shrugged, folding his arms over his chest and leaning idly against the door frame between the kitchen and the living room. His oven mitts were pink, and rested easily on opposite elbows. "A quick read through?"

She shook her head vehemently. "No way. It's not done, and if you read it now, I'm not completing it."

"Can I chance it?"

"I stopped mid-sentence, are you sure?"

Kyp appeared to think about it and finally nodded. "Give it over, goddess, I want to see what you wrote me."

Jaina reluctantly produced the datarod. "Where's your fresher?"

He waved her in the direction, catching the datarod as she tossed it to him. She disappeared from the room as he pulled off the over mitts and walked over to the coffee table to pick up the datapad she'd been using. He placed his mitts on the table and sat back in the nearest sofa, not having noticed that Jaina had grabbed her bag.

He slipped the datarod into the space and flicked on the datapad. The sound of the shower brought it head up and he grinned. Good.

He focused his attention back on the panel and began reading.

My dearest Kyp,

I don't know where to start, so I guess I'll just come out and say it.

Thank you.

Thank you for being my friend, and standing by me through the last years of mistakes I've made. Thank you for being the man I could always talk to and knows more about me than anyone, including myself. Thank you for not turning your back on me when I made my share of mistakes and almost dragged you down with me. Thank you for not judging my relationship with Jag. Jag was a mistake, I know that now, and I'm sorry I didn't see that sooner.

I'm terrified you'll read this and know what I'm trying to say, and yet, I'm terrified you won't know. You, Kyp Durron, who know me better than anyone else in the galaxy... do you know what I'm trying to say?

I've lived many lives in my short time. I've been a child to powerful parents, a friend to powerful people and a pilot with the best of pilots. I've been a mechanic and a dark Jedi. I've been everything I've dreamed and none of it.

I've dreamed of being a wife and a mother, but that may never happen. I guess what I'm trying to say, is I don't want a life without you.

Am I being too forward? Too obvious? Well, I never did know how to be subtle. You taught me that facing things head on is important. Well, here goes.

You're a part of my family Kyp. I've always considered you as such. Never as a brother, or father figure, never as a master or slave. You are a part of my future, Kyp, or I hope you'll be.

I can't put this off any longer. Kyp, my dear Kyp, will you-

The letter cut off abruptly. Kyp blinked, almost throwing the pad across the room. "Will I what? JAINA!"

In the shower, Jaina could feel his frustration and heard him call for her. She smiled. She had warned him, it served him right. Now she couldn't rely on the written, at some point tonight she would have to admit to her true feelings. She only hoped it would be easier than she thought it would be.