By Jindinea
Disclaimer: Erm, actually, if I really did own Final Fantasy VII, I would be one of those really talented people that have super-mega brains, like Tetsyua Nomura...
Reno: ZOMG! TETSUYA NOMURA? WHERE? WHERE?
Cloud: He's not here, stupid...
Reno: Hmm, I must agree Cloud... I must tell you... I was born with no brain and you were born with two...
JA: o.o... (snickers) Oh, and by the way, my Pen Name is now Jindinea, so it'll be a JA instead of an LV in these.. thingies...
Cloud: OHMIGAWD! THEN WHY AREN'T I WRITING THE STORY?
JA: ...Because you're a bunch of pixels, dimwit...
Reno: (gasp!) Dramatic...
Cloud: Wait... I thought you said you had no brain!
Reno: Heheh, well, actually, I just said that to make you go nuts and think you're smart! Pretty cool, eh?
JA: ...(laughs)
Cloud: (sniff) ...Just... g-go on with t-the storyyy...
REVIEWS...
Hello-Blondie: Thank you so much for your nice review! Lol, and now chapters are probably going to be this long at average, now! I'm glad you like. Oh, and I noticed you joined Advent Children Forums? Well, just to let you know, my user is Reti, so if you need any help, PM me. :-D
valen.locke: I think the chapters are gonna get crazier every new one. xD Thanks for reviewing!
Rainbow Aeris: Wow... thank you so much for the review! -hugs back- You've really expressed what you liked in it, so I'm glad for that. ;D Reviews like yours help me improve these days, so I appreciate it. Uhm, I don't know why I'm saying this, but just incase you'd like to know, the rest of the Turks are showing up soon! Though most likely around chapter six or seven. Thanks for teh review, and I hope you enjoy this chapter!
ShalBrenfan: Aww, thanks! I'm glad I'm doing an okay job for this story! Thanks for reviewing! ;D
Zenithar: Yeah, I know, though remember - this is a Humor/Romance fic, so it's not entirely supposed to be hilarious. xD Lol, anyway, thanks for reviewing!
JA: There, there, Cloud. It'll all be better when Square make holographic game characters for mad fangirls such as myself...
Reno: How?
JA: 'Cause then I can act as though I'm bashing you in the head!
Cloud: ...o.o...eep!
"Hootie, move you're giant head."
"Shove it, Ren,"
"THAT'S WHAT I SAY!"
"Well live with it!"
"...I hate you, Hootie,"
"An' I hate you to, Renny! We'd make good siblings, wouldn't you agree?"
Reno thought for a while. "Well, actually that does fit." Yuffie grinned stupidly. "I hate you, brother..." she mumbled. "I hate you to, sis..."
Tifa, Aeris and Cloud stared at them.
"What?" Reno asked. Tifa gave him a look. "Well, you two actually are getting along like siblings do," Yuffie's head jolted up. "Really? Aw, thanks Teef!" Tifa didn't even know why Yuffie was actually thanking her. Vincent spoke up from the front. "How many nicknames does everyone actually have?"
Cloud tilted his head. "Hmm, let's count!" he said like a kid. Everyone groaned. It seemed like Cloud was in Primary school again.
"Well... Let's see... Tifa has heaps! T, just as in the letter, Tee with two 'E's, Teef, Tiff, Ti-Ti, Teefee, Lockheart, T.L., and... well, probably more!" Tifa raised her brow at how many nicknames she had. Yuffie poked her head up. "Ooh! Vinny has heaps! Well, um, Vinny, Vince, V, Vincy, and um... I don't know anymore, I guess..." Aeris crossed her legs. "How about Vins?"
Vincent raised an eyebrow. "Vins?"
"Yeah, Vins!"
"Vince sounds like some gay person..."
"...That wasn't very nice, Reno,"
"Aren't I always?"
"Huh? ...Um, how about Reno?" Tifa shifted a bit in her seat and nodded to everyone. "Well... Ren, I guess..." Yuffie put her index finger up. "And brother!" Aeris giggled. "And brother, then, oh! And Renny, Reenee, Ren-Ren and Red!" Everyone stared at Aeris. Yuffie only seemed like the one who'd think up names like those. Reno flinched a bit at his nicknames.
'Haha, you've got such stupid nicknames!'
'NUH-UH!'
'And I mean brother? Puh-lease!'
'...What are YOU? Gay? 'Puh-lease'? Don't make me throw up.'
'HEY!'
Tifa, Yuffie, Aeris, Cloud and even Vincent stared at Reno.
"Haha, you've got such stupid nicknames!" he said out loud.
...O.o...
"NUH-UH!"
Everyone thought he had gone nuts.
"And I mean brother? Puh-lease!" Yuffie glared at him, thinking that was aimed at her.
"...What are YOU? Gay? 'Puh-lease'? Don't make me throw up." Tifa gave Reno the 'You're mental...' look and shifted away uncomfortably.
"HEY!"
Cloud threw the remote at Reno's head.
"OW! What'd you do that for, prick?"
Cloud acted all innocent and hid. "You were going nuts..." he murmured. Reno paused. Did he just say that out loud...?
'Oops... Now T thinks you're mental.'
'For once I have to agree with you,' he thought back.
He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, leaning back. Tifa jumped when her mobile beeped.
Text Message from 972-2324. Will you receive?
Tifa frowned. Yuffie's number? She clicked the 'Enter' button and read the message.
heheh hey t is it just me or is reno nutz? -♥Yuff
Tifa giggled at the message and put her phone away. She noticed Aeris and Cloud were watching something on... her laptop. "HEY! That's mine!" Tifa frowned at them and peeked over at the laptop.
She stared at the screen with wide eyes.
There Reno was - in a video - singing... a happy song? Tifa turned back and looked at Reno who was now trying to get the last smartie out of a packet. She looked back.
"I am really special, 'cus there's only one of me! Look at my smile, I'm so damn happy, the people are jealous of me!"
Yuffie was watching it from behind as well.
Everyone (save Reno, Vincent and Tifa) was laughing.
"Hey! What's everyone laughing at-" Reno peeked from behind and stared at the laptop. "Where'd you get THAT?" Before they could do anything, Reno snatched the laptop and handed it to Tifa. Tifa looked at the video on her lap and closed it quickly, putting the laptop away. Cloud wiped a fake tear. "That is SO hilarious!" Before he could do anything, Cloud couldn't help but let out a huge hyena laugh. Aeris stopped and looked at him.
'...Heh, I never knew Cloud laughed like THAT!'
"Frekas..." Yuffie said, leaning down again.
"Frekas sounds weird."
"And so do you, brother."
"Huh?"
...o.o...
Randomly, a car came by. Yuffie, Reno and Cloud recognized it as Sephiroth's and rolled down the window. They stared oddly when they heard something. "I'll take you to da candy shop! W00t! Oh yeah! Uh-huh, dis ma shit! All the girls-"
"HAHAHA! OMG, LOZ, THAT IS FRICKIN' PRICELESS!" Loz turned quickly from the car and rolled down the windows. He saw Reno holding a recorder in his hand. "AGH! RENO YOU- YOU!" Kadaj peeked his head from the back and snickered. "Now to put this baby on the internet!" Reno yelled, poking his head back in. Yazoo frowned and shoved Loz out of the way, seeing Yuffie and Cloud staring at them. Suddenly, they began copying what Loz sang.
"AIN'T NO HOLLABACK GURL!"
Loz glared at them and gave them the finger before rolling the windows back up. Cloud and Yuffie couldn't help but snicker as they poked their heads back in the vehicle. Yuffie noticed Reno trying to persuade Tifa into using her laptop in order to put Loz's video on the internet.
"Aw, come on, T! I'll make it up to you..."
Tifa raised an eyebrow and shook her head.
"Nuh-uh, Reno,"
"I'll give you a kiss!"
"No!"
"I'll give you some money!"
"NO!"
"...I'll sleep with you for the night!"
Tifa scrunched up her nose. "No, Reno!"
"Oh come on! Who could refuse this?" He pointed to himself and smirked. "I could, easily." Aeris spoke up. "The easiest thing in the world!" Yuffie ranted. Tifa nodded. "Actually Reno, it is easy."
Reno gave a smug look and 'Hmph'ed while crossing his arms over his chest. He refused to look at anyone and glared at... well, something. Tifa poked him on the shoulder, and he just shrugged it off. "Oh come on, Reno! Don't be stubborn,"
Reno just shrugged and sank down, acting like a kid. Tifa rolled her eyes and sighed, a bit surprised when Vincent pulled up. Yuffie looked at out at the window and raised an eyebrow. "'The Tropical Hotel'? Heh, I thought Vinny would choose something spooky, but that's fine with me!" Yuffie bounced off of her seat and pranced away, while Aeris shook Cloud who had yet again, fallen asleep. He grumbled something and stayed where he was. Aeris rolled her eyes and lifted Cloud over her shoulder, easily carrying him. Reno stared in shock. Cloud weighed heaps, yet AERIS could lift him up?
Weird...
Reno stretched at turned around, only to find Tifa had probably got out, to. In fact, Reno was already by himself. He groaned and stood up, walking out of the van.
In front of the Tropical Hotel...
"Ooh! It looks so fancy and fun at the same time!" Yuffie squeaked, admiring the building. Vincent walked in silently, probably getting their rooms. Reno slowly walked up beside Tifa, shoving his hands in his pockets. "Meh," Cloud muttered, skipping into the hotel. Aeris rolled her eyes again and ran after Cloud. "Cloud! You're not supposed to skip! You know what happens..." she murmured. Yuffie gave a look at Reno and Tifa before running inside, giggling. "Guess we should go in..." he muttered, walking inside. Tifa tilted her head and ran in.
In the Hotel...
Everyone gathered together, planning their rooms. Kadaj, Yazoo, Loz and Sephiroth were there as well. "Well, only two people per room so we are all going to have to split up." Vincent explained. Aeris tilted her head up. "Well, how about two girls for one room, and because of the odd number, one girl will room with a guy!" Everyone nodded in agreement, though Tifa paused.
"...Though who's staying with who?" she asked.
"Hmm..." Aeris muttered. "Well... how about Yuffie... stays with Cloud?" Cloud looked up though gave a glance at Tifa in disappointment. Tifa didn't even notice him looking and nodded at Yuffie. Reno noticed Cloud looking at Tifa and glared hard.
Cloud didn't know how, but the death-glare seemed to have its effects.
"OW! RENO!"
Reno snickered while everyone stared.
When no one was looking, Reno would always add a pin to his Cloud voodoo doll whenever he went near Tifa.
Yuffie scrunched her nose up. "Why do I have to go with HIM?" Yuffie pointed a finger at Cloud and stuck her tongue out. In return, Cloud whimpered.
Aeris simply nodded happily. "Because I know you like Kaddy-kins or whatever, so it'll be safe!" The four silver haired men came up from behind.
"Hullo," Loz gave a stupid grin and waved.
"So, 'Ris', how's it been lately?" Sephiroth asked. Cloud raised an eyebrow and had no clue on what Sephiroth was talking about. Aeris glared at him. "Much better," she murmured, before storming off. Cloud, Reno and Vincent seem like the only ones who were clueless on what was happening.
"Wha?" Cloud gave an odd look.
Sephiroth just smirked and walked off.
"...That guy's weird," Cloud muttered.
For some reason, everyone glared at Cloud.
"What?"
Later In Yuffie's and Cloud's Room...
Yuffie lay down on her bed, flipping page after page in her magazine. Suddenly, Cloud came in from having a shower wearing... a towel on his head and a... towel. He wore it how a woman would. Yuffie peeked over her magazine and raised an eyebrow. "OMG, CLOUD... you SO look like a girl!" Cloud didn't even realize her presence and spun around, surprised. "EIIKK!" he screeched.
Yuffie: (n.n)
Cloud: (0.0)
Randomly, some weird fangirl came running by and snatched Cloud's towel.
"EIKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!"
"EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW" Yuffie screamed at the site and hid under the bed.
Cloud needed to get to the bathroom. Fast.
But he realized something.
The bathroom was out. In the hallway. In the public. Where people were.
Cloud took a deep breath.
"KYAHHHHHHHHHHHH-"
Meanwhile...
Tifa and Aeris walked down the hallway of the hotel, chatting. "Oh yeah! Uhm you know-"
"-HHHHHHHHHHHH!" Tifa and Aeris stopped and noticed a flash go by, screaming.
...O.o...
Aeris placed a hand on her forehead and stared after the flash, squinting.
"Is that... Cloud?"
Though since Cloud was so distracted from screaming, he didn't realize he was running outside.
SPLASH!
Cloud grumbled something incoherent while he laid in bed with a thermometer in his mouth. "Stupid pool... Stupid Yuffie... Stupid towel... Stupid fangirl..." he ranted, trying his best to keep the thermometer in his mouth. He heard a knock on the door and looked at it, still laying underneath the covers.
KNOCK, KNOCK!
"Who hissit?" he mumbled, turning the thermometer around.
"Aeris!"
Cloud sighed and nodded to himself. "'Kay! Come in!"
The door opened, revealing Aeris. She closed the door quietly and walked over to Cloud with a cup and a bag in her hands. "Heyyy, Cloud," she whispered. Cloud flipped the thermometer around again. "Hi Aerish. Y'don' hafta whishper y'know?" he said, words slurred a bit from the plastic, thin tube in his mouth.
She giggled and tilted her head, sitting herself down at the edge of Cloud's bed. She crossed her legs on the bed and set down the cup on his bed-side table, placing the bag on his right. "Whash thish?" he asked, pointing at the bag.
"Oh, just some sweets. I thought you'd like some after... well, what happened." Cloud's head perked up a bit, and he reached for the bag, opening it up. "Thanksh, Aerish," he said, putting the bag on his table. He poked the cup. "Whash thish, to?" he ashked- uhm, asked her.
"Hot chocolate," she replied, propping her elbows on her knees. Cloud smiled a bit - which made the thermometer hurt the roof of his mouth. He took it out and placed it down on the table. "The maid said I have to keep checking my temperature every now and then." he explained, glad to have spoken normally. Aeris nodded and slowly stood up, stretching.
"You should get some sleep, Cloud," Cloud nodded, waving, and then immediately closed his eyes relaxing. Aeris smiled and leaned over, brushing his hair a bit. She pecked him on the forehead and blushed slightly, before walking out.
Cloud cracked open an eye.
'Ohhhh, so she DOES like me! Whee! ...Ow, my head...'
In Reno's and Vincent's Room...
Reno grumbled as he lay on his bed, staring at the neat black shining tiles on the ceiling. "Forty-eight... forty-nine... fifty... fifty-one... fifty-two... fifty-three... fift- OH! I just had the greatest idea! ...Uhm ...had... OH! I have it again! ...Now I lost it... Okay! I got it! Whew! Thinking sure makes you tired!"
...o.o...
Reno jumped up, grabbing a piece of stationary that was lying around. 'Hope Vince doesn't mind... wait, since when does VINCE use stationary crap? ...Eh,' He grabbed a black pen and began scribbling his message.
Later In Aeris' and Tifa's Room...
Aeris had her legs crossed as she sat down on the bed, watching the television. Tifa came in after brushing her teeth and sat down on her own bed. As she sat down, she heard something crunch. Being slightly confused, Tifa sat up and looked behind her, revealing a rather crinkled note. Frowning, she grabbed it and looked at what it said.
For T
As Tifa was about to open it, she noticed a shadow cast over her. Aeris smirked and snatched the paper.
"HEY! AERIS! Give it back right now!"
Aeris shrugged and peered at it. "For... T?" she giggled a bit and continued looking at it. Tifa sighed and leaned back, though heard another crinkling noise. She looked under and noticed a letter for Aeris. Tifa smirked and read what it said. The writing was very messy and scribble-like.
"Hmm... for my 'little 'Ris?' My god, Aeris! I had no idea Cloud cared!" Aeris looked away from Tifa's letter and looked at the one on Tifa's hand. "Hey!"
Tifa pretended to read it and put on a voice.
'Oh, my little 'Ris, my dearest, I have such devoted sloppy feelings for you and I MUST confess... I-'
"UGH! Fine! We trade?"
"Trade? Hmm, well, okay then."
Aeris stood up on her bed, motioning for Tifa to stand up on hers.
"On the count of three, we throw them," Aeris said. Tifa nodded and wondered if the paper would end up like a frisbee, heading out the door.
"One, two-"
On the count of two, they threw the paper. Tifa and Aeris both easilycaught their own letter, and sat down on their beds, opening the letters. Aeris noticed Cloud's messy writing and giggled.
'Hiya Aeris!'
She snorted and continued reading.
'Thanks a bunch for bringing that hot chocolate and the candy! But sometimes Yuffie snatches them. D: Anyway, it's made me so much better, I was thinking that we should go out for a while at a bar! If You wanna come, meet me in the hallway in the hotel at seven o'clock! If you're not there... then I'll be a bery, bery sad wittle boy... Seeyah!
-Cloudie ;-D'
She thought for a while. "Uhm... okay!" Scratch that; she thought for two seconds. She looked up at the clock. "Well, it's... five o'clock now, so I have about an hour and a half until I have to go!" Without another word, Aeris disappeared into the bathroom, probably to get ready.
Tifa looked down at hers and opened it up. She raised an eyebrow at the first line.
'Hey Hot Stuff,
Oh, and Pinky? Or whatever, if you're reading this, I'll send... Cloud to you, naked. Disturbing... ANYWAY, I've been... bored, sitting in this crappy hotel, counting tiles on the ceiling, so I thought I'd send ya a letter :-D Have no frickin' idea where Vince is, though probably avoiding that Hootie chick. ANYWAYS (again), back to the point.
I was wonderin' if you'd meet me down at the cafe next door to the hotel at 4AM.'
Tifa frowned. '4AM? Shouldn't he mean 4PM?'
'And nope, babe, it's not 4PM. 4AM, so if you don't come by 6:15, I'll understand. Seeyah, babe.
Love your little Reenee, ;D'
Tifa giggled at the last line.
'Hmm... I... I guess I'll go. No harm done, right?'
'Heh, come onnn. You know you want him...'
'...Uhm, who're you?'
'Your conscience, who's still hopelessly in love with Reno,'
'...Ummm...What?'
'Well, if I say I'm still in love with him, that still means you are, because you're a part of me.'
"...Maybe I am," Tifa mumbled out loud.
Aeris walked in while brushing her teeth. "Maybe you're what, Teef?"
Tifa felt a tint of pink in her cheeks as she shook her head. "Nothin' Aeris." Aeris snorted before going through her closet with the tooth brush flipping everywhere. She snatched out two different dresses; both pink.
Tifa raised an eyebrow.
Aeris turned around.
"So, which one should I wear!"
Reno shoved his fists down into his pockets as he walked down into the Hotel's Rumpus Room. He noticed Kadaj stare at Sephiroth - who was flipping through the television channels - and also noticed Kadaj's eyes bulging out in amazement. Reno raised an eyebrow and edged behind the stairs, eavesdropping.
"Sir Seph- no - Sir Safer, that was amazing! How do you do it?" Sephiroth sighed as he turned around and gave a half smile, half sarcastic look. "Well Kadaj," Kadaj almost fainted as Sephiroth said his name. "it's very simple." Kadaj nodded eagerly, his bangs bopping back and forth.
"See this?" Sephiroth said pointedly towards the remote that was in his hand. Kadaj nodded enthusiastically. "Well, all you do is put it in your hand - see, take it." Sephiroth reached his hand out with the remote in his hand.
Kadaj gasped. "Oh, no! I could never do such a-"
Sephiroth began glaring in boredom.
"Take it."
Bottom lip trembling, Kadaj nodded taking it from Sephiroth's hand and began staring at it in amazement. "What next, Sir Safer?"
Sephiroth rolled his eyes. Reno was doing the same.
"See these amazing little buttons? You put one of your fingers on it and push at any number at all, see?" Kadaj's mouth made an extra large '0' shape. He looked back and forth between the remote and television and gasped as it magically changed from surf waves, to haunting castles.
Sephiroth found it his chance to get away, but was stopped as Loz came walking in, and sat down on the couch between Sephiroth and Kadaj - who had still been staring at the television in amazement.
"Yo, Seph," Loz gave a stupid smile and gave an alien 'peace' sign. Sephiroth almost laughed at loud, though tempted to stop.
"So, how's it goin' between you an' that Aeris chick?" Loz placed his hands behind his head 'coolly' and had odd Duffman music from 'The Simpsons' playing through his head. Reno's head shot high up when Loz mentioned Aeris.
'Aeris... she's T's friend, but what could they mean by...'
But unfortunately, Reno was interrupted by Loz - who now began singing the Duffman song out loud.
He couldn't help but stare with wide-eyes, snickering.
Sephiroth (who was being horribly tortured by Loz's singing), heard something and spun around from the seat. He saw a flash of red down near the hallway and stood up, frowning. Sephiroth heard a noise come from one a door nearby.
'Hmph, bad idea Reno. You're trapped.'
Sephiroth laughed to himself and opened up the bathroom door, but jumped when something touched his shoulder. He spun around in half shock, half surprise.
Loz gave the same stupid smile as before.
"Hey, bro, what happened? Anyway, me and my brothers are going back to our rooms. Comin'?" Sephiroth huffed and checked back. Nobody was there, anyway, so Reno... must've disappeared.
He nodded in frustration, leaving the bathroom with Loz.
Reno peeped from inside the plastic bin. He waved a hand in front of his nose. He looked down from where the stench came from.
'What the hell is that-?'
As soon as he saw a clear view, he turned as red as his hair and began trying to escape the plastic bin. Many white objects spread out onto the floor as Reno landed with a loud 'THUD!' on the white tiles.
Reno twitched at the sight and noticed where he was.
'Aw, fuck. Just the place. A WOMEN'S bathroom.'
The next thing Reno needed was a shower in the Men's bathroom.
Later...
Kadaj lay in his bedroom area (that was separate to Sephiroth's and his brother's room). He had been exhausted after continuously pressing each button on the television remote, and his hand was aching. He groaned and rolled over onto his stomach, burying his face in the pillow.
He began countingchocobos - a tip Yazoo and Loz gave him when he was four years old.
Flashback
A four-year-old Kadaj whimpered as he hid behind a black, velvet couch that his two older brothers were occupying. A ten-year-old Loz snorted as he munched on a handful of popcorn, watching the 'horror' movie 'Casper' in boredom. Yazoo, six-years-old, was playing cards with his imaginary friend, Ziggy.
"Go shish," Yazoo apparently, had trouble pronouncing many words properly. Loz raised an eyebrow at Kadaj who was shielding his eyes from the cartoon ghost. He rolled his eyes in amusement and grunted, spilling his kids packet of popcorn on the floor. Yazoo turned his head and walked over to Kadaj, too, abandoning his game with um... Ziggy.
"Gee, you're such a cry-baby," Loz said, in his... high-pitched voice.
"Shon't pick on him Woz. Why shon't you count shocobos, Kadaj? That shalways helps shmee." Yazoo kneeled down, nodding to his little brother. Kadaj's bottom lip stopped trembling a tiny bit. "Ch-choccy-bo?"
Yazoo nodded, while Loz disappeared and, um, reappeared in two minutes. "Drink dis," Loz handed Kadaj a juice box that looked bashed up.
"I put some sweeping pills in it, so it'll also be easier to sweep." Kadaj tilted his head and took the juice box, sipping the drink, though spilling a bit down his chin. He took no notice and nodded, carefully stepping up and walking over to his tiny bed. Yazoo and Loz shrugged, going back to their normal routine.
When Kadaj crept in his bed, he imagined many chocobos jumping over fences and getting stabbed by a much older kid that had long silver hair, and a six foot sword.
"...One puppet dead... Two puppet dead... Three puppet dead..."
Loz and Yazoo stared for a while at their brother.
"Riiiight, Kaddy..."
End of Flashback
"Seventy-eight puppets dead... Seventy-nine puppets dead... Eighty puppets de-"
BOOM, BOOM, BOOM!
Kadaj jolted up, gasping. He twitched slightly, and jumped when he heard another noise.
SKKKKRRRREEEEEEEECCCCCCKKKKKKK...
He slowly got up from his bed and walked over to his suitcase, looking around before opening it. He took out a shot gun and hid it behind his back before approaching where the sound had been coming from - the window.
He walked over carefully, and opened the curtains up before yelling.
JA: -le gasp- Cliffy!
Cloud: And why does Kadaj have a gun?
Reno: Who was that at the window?
JA: Stay tuned for the next paragraph!
Cloud: Umm...
Reno: Err...
JA: -taps foot- Oh, you two are useless!
Reno: I think she means 'Stay tuned for the next chapter'?
Cloud: Yeah...
JA: Oh, just SHADDUP!
Cloud: -whimpers-
Reno: -laughs-