Blargh. It's been SO long since I updated. So I thought, "Well, get on your lazy butt and write!" So I am. My mother has gotten herself a job, so I won't be able to update quite as often (since I can't drive myself home)…Only ten or so chapters left! Well, I think. But then there's the potential sequel, also…hmm. Well, we'll see!

Oh, and I don't own Rat Race. Oh, well.

Roy wandered the house, searching for his fellow swordsmen. He hadn't seen Marth in a few days, which was rather unusual; he hadn't been in his room, or the foyer, or the arcade…

"Looking for something?" a sweet voice called out. He turned his head and saw Peach and Bowser approaching him.

"Actually, I'm trying to find Marth," Roy responded. "Have either of you seen him lately?"

"Nope," Bowser said. "Last time I saw him he was dueling Mewtwo over a box of Goldfish."

Peach brushed her hair back. "Now that you mention it, he hasn't been coming to meals lately. I wonder where he's gone?"

Roy shrugged. "I'll keep looking. Thanks, anyway." He turned around and continued down the hall toward the living room.

Peach looked at Bowser. "Come to think of it, I haven't seen Young Link in a long time, either…"

Donkey Kong stood underneath a large red doorway. The Renegades (as they had finally decided to call themselves) had been getting closer to the Smash Mansion proper, though they were still around ten levels below the surface. He let out a whimper. He had been having a lot of trouble with his Boom Thing Withdrawal. Oh, how he missed it! He would give anything to just get his hands on a weapon…

He looked around the room, taking in his surroundings. As he did, a smile spread across his face.

The door across from him was labeled "High-Yield Explosives and Lon Lon Milk Storage".

Luigi and Zelda walked in behind him. "Oh, no…" the Hylian gasped.

DK tore across the room and threw the door open. Inside was a horde of grenades, rockets, and to top it off, another grenade launcher. There were also several cows standing around doing nothing.

The grin across DK's face grew even wider. He reached for a grenade, which made Zelda panic. Unfortunately, she did something rather idiotic in her panic…

"Din's fire!" she screeched. She shot her hand at the large ape, hoping that her attack would stun him. Instead, it hit the grenade he was reaching for.

The grenade exploded, causing another grenade to explode, causing another grenade to explode, causing another grenade to explode, causing a cow to MOOOO loudly. DK was thrown out of the room with several small fires breaking out across his fur.

"I got it!" Luigi called. He whipped out his vacuum and sucked all of the oxygen out of the area, putting out the fire.

DK began to weep openly. Zelda rolled her eyes and walked out of the room.

A few minutes later a bunch of black-haired guys ran in!

"We. Are. Morphs," one of them said. "You. Will. Be. Punished. For. Your. Annoyance. Who. Is. Responsible. For. This. Disturbance?"

Captain Falcon then entered the room. "Zelda's ignoring me!" he whined. "She's been brushing off all of my indecent advances!"

Luigi and DK both pointed to the bounty hunter. All of the morphs then turned to face him.

"Come. Along," the morph droned.

"Where are we going?" Falcon asked.

"He giving free cookies!" DK exclaimed.

Captain Falcon began jumping up and down while clapping his hands together. "YAY! I love cookies! Especially Thin Mints!" The morphs grabbed his arms and led him out of the room.

"…I guess that's one way to get rid of him…" Luigi said.

Young Link, Ganondorf, and Samus stood around the "sleeping" Amelia. Ganondorf was holding Samus close to him, while Young Link desperately tried not to gag.

"Well, I guess it's time to go to sleep," Samus said. "I'm off to Candy Land…" She let out a sigh and walked out of the hangar. Ganondorf yawned and gave Young Link a wave, and then followed her out.

Young Link bent over and continued his work. Amelia's food dispenser was still malfunctioning, although he had managed to fix most of the bugs. At present, the only major problem was her Spirit Sensor, although he wasn't quite sure how to handle that problem. The only real solution he could think of so far was to ask Ganondorf to perform some magic on it…

There was a brief creaking noise. Young Link looked over to the hangar door. There, unsuccessfully hiding behind it, was Link. He grinned and pulled out his sword.

Link stepped out from behind his cover and charged at his younger self. The two got into a fight, desperately trying to defeat each other.

As the battle raged, a red-haired swordsman walked in. "Uh…is this a bad time?" he asked. Neither of the Links answered him, naturally. He shrugged and walked back out.

As the clock struck eleven thirty, a small pink object walked into the pantry. It was common knowledge that the pantry restocked at midnight, so he went in a few minutes earlier to eat whatever was there.

"Let's see…" he muttered to himself. "Pop-tarts…egg rolls…that really spicy green stuff that Marth got me to eat once…BREAD! Oh, yes!" He opened wide and inhaled the entire package, not bothering to take off the plastic cover.

Suddenly he gained a new power! TOASTER KIRBY!

"…Wow. How useless." He griped. He released the power back into it's basic star form and left the room. As he left, he bumped into Mewtwo.

"Hi, Mewtwo!" he called. "What are you doing here?"

Mewtwo glared at him. "I'm hungry," he said deliberately.

"Oh, yeah. Well, g'night!" the puffball called cheerfully. He floated back towards his room, leaving the PokeDiety alone.

Mewtwo turned and entered the pantry. He picked up the Toaster Essence that Kirby had discarded and began to examine it.

"Hmm…this may be an interesting source of power…" he said to himself.

Captain Falcon looked around at the morphs. So far, his attempts to engage in conversations about his muscles or his intense sexiness had proved futile; apparently these people were too awestricken to talk to him. He smiled to himself, as he usually did whenever he thought that his subordinates were showering him with gifts.

"So how far is it to the cookies?" he asked. His request was, as usual, met with silence.

He pursed his lips. This had better be good…he thought.

Peach and Bowser sat in the living room, on yet another one of their dates. The Ice Climbers walked in, saw them together, and fled.

"Oh, this is my favorite part!" Peach exclaimed. She pointed at the screen, which showed the infamous "You should have bought a squirrel" scene from Rat Race. Bowser grinned and snuggled with her, causing several readers to vomit into the nearest trash can.

Suddenly, the power went out! Bowser groaned and stood up. "Hold on, I'll go check the fuse box." He lumbered out of the room, somehow managing to trip over the doorway.

Peach lay back in the sofa, waiting for the king's triumphant return. "Such a perfect match, really. King and queen!" she exclaimed.

She waited for ten minutes. When the power didn't return, she decided to go and check the television itself.

"Hmm…nothing looks wrong…" she muttered to herself. Of course, she didn't know anything about technology, but that's beside the point.

She stood up and turned around, just in time to see the Ridiculously Overpowered Vegetable fly at her. She let out a shriek as it slammed into her face, and then disappeared.

And that's chapter…what is this? Sixteen? (Consults notes) Be prepared for Marth's return and the fate of Captain Falcon! Mwahaha…

Valete!