Summary: Set between Chapters 33 and 34, Kam Solusar returns to Coruscant for the first time since leaving the identity of Tevas-kaar in his past...
Coruscant hadn't changed since he'd last been here. It had only been a few days, after all, and planets did not typically change so quickly. But Kam Solusar's return to Coruscant felt like an arrival on a whole new world, different and new. Like he was seeing through different eyes, old lenses removed and new clarity offered. The world hummed with life, the Force swirling around him more strongly than he could remember; the speeders and spaceships filled with minds, busy or tired, excited or mourning. The cacophony somehow resolved itself into a calm, energetic hum.
He didn't know what to do. He really wasn't entirely sure what he was even doing here. It had only been a day since he'd been Leonia Tavira's Tevas-kaar, her servant and protector. Her enforcer. He had never relished the role, but he had known what to do in it. But now… not since he'd been a child, since the Inquisitorius had scooped him up and impressed him into its vision of an ideal servant, had he felt so unfettered. Or so confused.
Beside him, Luke Skywalker and Winter walked through the halls of the Imperial Palace towards the empty single-person quarters that would be his home. For how long that would last he didn't know. He didn't feel like he knew anything anymore, really. The only thing he did know, the only thing he was certain of, was that it was right for him to be here. His father's lightsaber was secure in his hand, his long-faded memories of the man who had wielded it, who had stood toe-to-toe with Darth Vader in a futile attempt to protect his son, were vivid once again, restored by touch and scent and the desire to once again remember. How they had trained, sparred, meditated. The many, many lessons about the will of the Force, the importance of living in the moment, of feeling life surrounding you, of letting it take control and guide you down the proper path.
Ever since that fight, since Vader had slain Ranik Solusar, Kam had not stepped foot on the path. Not once. Even after the Battle of Endor and he'd found himself with the unexpected opportunity to escape Imperial service, Kam had still not felt like he was where he should be. He moved forward, putting one foot in front of the other. He'd fallen in with an order of Force sensitives that months earlier he would have been charged with exterminating, but even his time with the Jensaarai had felt wrong, especially after Tavira had selected him to be her guard. But what else could he do, but put one foot in front of the other and live, as his father had wanted him to?
He was putting one foot in front of the other now, walking through the confined halls of the Imperial Palace. In front of him, the silver-haired Winter was swiping their entry to a small room. It was comfortable, a simple living area for a single humanoid, and he nodded his assent as Winter asked him if it was acceptable. "Yes," he said, his voice sounding and feeling hoarse.
Winter glanced at Luke, gave him a somewhat pronounced look, then stepped back. "You'll let me know if you need anything else?" she asked Luke. "I really must return to help the Princess. We're working on the latest draft of the New Republic Constitution. There are some concerns about distributing political power between the sectors, and still more about whether we will impose rules about how those sectors will operate internally." She grimaced and leaned towards Luke, her voice taking on a soft, conspiratorial lilt. "It is even more of a nightmare than usual."
Luke looked and sounded both amused and resigned. "Then you should get back to her, Winter. I know how much she relies on you to give her a good second opinion."
Winter waved dismissively. "So she claims. But Leia knows her own mind and once she has made her mind up, there's no changing it." She looked at Kam. "It was nice to meet you, Kam," she said with a slight bow of her head, her Alderaanian accent reminding Kam of numerous Imperial officers he'd met during his time in service to the Inquisitorius—before or after they had defected.
"Thank you," he said, his throat still gratingly hoarse.
Winter smiled, then turned and left.
Luke nodded at him. "My quarters are just upstairs and down the hall," he explained. "Winter thought it best that we be close to one another, under the circumstances."
"She worked for New Republic Intelligence?" he asked. Surely she must, anyone who came to settle him into this place likely had ties to NRI. Being who he was, with his history, NRI would want to dissect his brain for secrets and information.
"Not anymore," Luke said. "She worked for Alliance Intelligence, but has since transitioned into working solely for my sister, especially after Leia became pregnant." He gestured at the neatly-cleaned, unused furniture and then took a seat on the couch. "Sit with me."
Kam sat.
"I'm sure General Cracken will want to interview you," Luke said. "But if you don't want to do that now, I can stall him while we get you settled."
Kam regarded the young Jedi. Luke was younger than he was, probably by ten years, but he carried himself with a quiet, assured confidence that Kam remembered from the Jedi at the training center on Solon. All those sentients, preparing to be Jedi, so confident in who they were and what they were. Kam had felt like that once, before the Empire. "What do you want from me?" he finally asked.
"For now? Just to talk with you."
"Why?"
The young Jedi sighed. "I have been tasked with assuring the future of the Jedi. With passing on my knowledge." He leaned forward, his keen eyes boring into Kam. The expression made Kam feel as if at the center of a storm, energy and potential whirling around the room, and he recalled the remarkable ease with which Luke had defeated him at Linuri. "But my masters are dead, and with them the memory of the old order. I've many records, and heard many testimonials, but what I've found that I trust is largely about technique. How to use the Force, how to channel it, what it can be used for. Very little about how the Jedi were organized, their structure, how they interacted with the Republic and other governments in the galaxy."
"I'm no politician," Kam objected. "And I was much too young when the Order fell to know any of that."
"I know," Luke conceded. "But you can tell me how Jedi treated one another. How teaching happened in normal times." His voice faded away; Luke took a deep breath. "I have few peers, Kam."
"I'm not sure I'm worthy of being a peer," Kam said, surprised by the harshness he heard in his voice. "Not after all the mistakes I've made in my life. I allowed myself to fall, to be used by the Dark, and…"
"Once you start down the dark path, forever it will dominate your destiny," he heard a whispery voice of a great Jedi, his memory vivid. "Consume you it will." He had more than started down the Dark path. He'd lived it. He'd walked down it for most of his life, for all of his adult life. There had been moments he'd reveled in it, and perhaps—perhaps—he had begun to walk back towards the light, perhaps he'd heard his father's voice, encouraging him, especially after Endor… but forever it will dominate your destiny. Forever it will dominate your destiny. Forever…
"No," Luke said quietly, his voice firm enough to cut through the refrain. "No, Yoda was wrong."
He said it with such fervent intensity, such certainty, that Kam almost believed him.
Luke swallowed and looked away for a moment, but just a moment. When he looked back at Kam, his intensity, his certainty had returned. "This isn't an easy conversation for me to have, Kam, but you have every right to know." He offered a somewhat lopsided, slightly nervous smile. "My Aunt Beru used to tell me that confession, apology, and forgiveness were the tools used to break walls down into bridges." He shifted, leaning forward. "Before he fell to the Dark, Vader's name was Anakin Skywalker. He sold himself to the Dark and the Emperor a long time ago… because he was afraid." Luke took a breath. "He was my father."
Oh.
The memory of that long-ago day, of Vader's dark form looming on the ramp of the shuttle, snow scattering around them. Of Ranik Solusar, holding the lightsaber that Kam now had in his hand, standing, desperate and terrified, of how that terror had infected Kam. Of how Vader had casually murdered Kam's father, effortlessly smashing through his defenses. Of how the dark form had loomed over Kam's fallen form as he sobbed into the snow…
He took a deep, hitching breath, and was surprised that he wasn't surprised. That was why, he realized. Why when Luke had strode into the hangar in his black cloak, when his Force presence had made itself fully known, putting Kam for the first time at the center of the storm of Luke's gaze, it had all seemed so familiar. Why when Kam had fallen and Luke stood over his prone form he had known that Luke would not strike, just as Vader had not.
Oh.
Luke said nothing, but the younger Jedi refused to look away. Kam could see his trepidation, see the flicker of shame in that gaze, and see the complete refusal to run away from what his father had done. The burst of violent rage in Kam's gut was just as easily dispelled, breathed out and lost, replaced with sorrow.
"The Jedi who trained me told me about Anakin Skywalker, their friend, the legendary pilot and cunning warrior. They trained me to kill him without ever telling me who he was. I found out when I rushed off, half-trained, to save my friends." Luke looked away for the first time, pulling down the glove on his right hand, revealing the durasteel collar just below the synthflesh covering his hand.
Kam winced.
"I wasn't ready. He gave me this and he told me who we were to each other." Luke replaced the glove, his intense gaze back on Kam. "Yoda and Ben told me that I had to face him. That I had to kill him—that there was no good left in him." Luke offered a slightly abashed laugh and smile. "I don't know why, but I didn't believe them. I hoped he could be saved, that he could be brought back." Luke's expression grew serious once again. "And I was right."
It took a moment for Kam to comprehend what Luke had said. "What?"
"He turned on Palpatine, at the end," Luke said, "and put an end to his horror." Luke did look away now, his expression darkening. "I won't say he was a good man. I can't. He did too much evil. I would never ask you to forgive him, any more than I would expect Leia to. He took too much from you both. But—" Luke met Kam's gaze once again "—he proves that Yoda was wrong. That you can turn back from the Dark.
"That you can turn back from the Dark, Kam. That you already have. That you had even before we fought, even before you fought Mara. And I would like to have your help rebuilding what your father help build… and mine destroyed."
Kam turned away, surprised to find that he was genuinely tempted. Surprised even more that he didn't begrudge Vader's apparent son either his strength or his heritage. "What is it you would want from me? If I were to join you."
"Aunt Beru taught me that those of us with extra had a duty to share with those who had less. We didn't have much on Tatooine, but we were free. And we shared that freedom and whatever water we could spare with people who needed it. The Force, our ability to touch it, let it give us the ability to act in ways that others can't." Luke gestured to the window that overlooked the Coruscant cityscape, the dimming evening light, the first gleams of visible stars despite all of Coruscant's light pollution. "When I reach out with the Force, I feel the galaxy spinning all around me, with a million, million pinpricks of light, and I know that the Force wants me out there." A small, almost intimate smile flickered across his lips, and Kam could feel the sudden softening of Luke's emotions. "We can't save the galaxy on our own. It will be our job to make a small difference, when and where we can. To grow our ranks so that there will be more of us who can make small differences, until it all adds up to something greater than any of us."
"Why me?"
"Because you feel it too," Luke said with quiet certainty. "Because we can't just close off this part of ourselves. Because, whatever it might come to cost us, we're Jedi."
For the first time in a long time, the voice in the back of Kam's head, the one that whispered forever will it dominate your destiny, went quiet.
Kam turned back to face Luke. "All right," he heard himself say, with far less hesitation than he would have guessed. "All right," he repeated. His lips moved into a small, unaccustomed smile. "How do we start?"
Author's Notes
Thank you so much, everyone who has left a review since I last updated Interregnum. I can't tell you how gratifying it is to receive them!
This was Interregnum Missing Moment #2: Kam. Next time, we'll get the last one I've already written, which is about Mara and Luke. If you have other missing moments - things that must have happened during this story that you didn't get to actually see - feel free to leave suggestions in a review, and if we're inspired maybe DrMckay and I will write some more. In the meantime, we're hard at work on Interregnum II, which now has a title and a full outline, and nothing spurs productivity like encouraging reviews!