Kusabi Makabe: Hello, all! It's time for AN UPDATE! (Party Ball explodes) I know it's been a long, long time, but here it is.
Amelia: Please enjoy the show.
Young Link: …Uh, you were supposed to do the disclaimer.
Amelia: Excuse me. Kusabi Makabe does not own Atelier Iris: Eternal Mana. However he does highly recommend it to the general RAG public.
Kusabi Makabe (clutches forehead) RPG, Amelia…
Amelia: Excuse me. He does highly recommend it to the general RAG RPG.
Young Link: Hey, don't look at me. Ness did the voice programming…
The mail room was packed, as usual. Kirby floated in and began reading his huge assortment of fan mail.
"Hmm…'Please eat a kangaroo.' I can manage that!" Kirby chirped. "This one says 'I hope you marry that cute little fairy girl.' Wow, didn't this guy hear that we're married already? Eh, anyway…'Enclosed, please find a plateful of sashimi'?" He studied his current parcel closely. "Hmm…looks more like tacos to me. I better not eat that."
Roy sauntered in at that moment. "Hey, tacos!" he exclaimed. He then gave Kirby an imploring look.
Kirby hesitated. "Well, you can eat them if you want, but-"
Roy immediately tossed the tacos down his throat. "Mmm! Tastes like sashimi!" he said contentedly.
"…Wow. And people think I eat fast." Kirby stared at the redhead. "Since when are you able to swallow food whole?"
"Eh, I'm feeling dragony today," Roy explained. He then went over to his pile of fan mail. "Whoa…this one guy wants to know my mother's phone number. And this one wants my dad's phone number. And this one wants Lilina's phone number…Man! Why does Marth get all the girls?" He sighed.
"What about those?" Kirby asked, pointing to a large pile of pink heart-shaped envelopes.
"Huh? Those are mine? SWEET!" Roy jumped up and began to flip through the mail.
Kirby continued reading. "Hey, do you think I should respond to this one?" Kirby asked.
"Let me see…" Roy took the letter from Kirby's hand and began to read.
Dear Kirby,
Hi! Meow name is Norn. I just wanted to write to you meow and tell you that I think it's SO COOL that you can eat three cakes in one second! I have a friend who has a whole lot of sweets, if you want me to introduce you two, meow.
Gotta go. You're the coolest, meow!
Norn
"…Wow." Roy raised his eyebrows. "Uh…she's a cat."
"So?" Kirby retorted. "Cats have food!"
Roy thought for a minute. "Well, I guess you can if you want. I mean, it's not like she's asking you out, right?"
"OR IS SHE?" Crazy Hand asked over the intercom.
"SHUT UP!" everyone in the mansion yelled.
Young Link, Ganondorf, Samus, and Amelia stood in the living room.
"Wow. That sounds really embarrassing…" Samus said.
"I do not understand what you are talking about," Amelia droned.
"I think she's talking to me," Young Link told her. "And yes, it was embarrassing…well, mostly. Things got better when Saria got my pants back."
"You asked a woman to get your pants from that kid?" Ganondorf asked, laughing. "I bet you never heard the end of that."
"Actually, no…" Young Link said. "Man, I miss Saria. I wonder when we're getting out of here?"
"Eight weeks, right?" Samus said. "And still nobody knows who the killer is…"
"I believe that the Psycho Killer is Roy of Pherae." Amelia commented.
"Really?" Ganondorf asked. "What makes you say that?"
"He has nearly died twice thus far, correct? It is safe to assume that he is attacking himself in order to divert attention from himself."
Young Link raised his hand to his chin. "Interesting…I think it's Marth, myself. Who else would have so much trouble getting by Roy?"
"I dunno…" Samus said. "Marth would probably save Roy for last, don't you think?"
Mewtwo floated in, the Ice Climbers following closely behind him. "We have to do something about the television," he grunted. "I want to watch my show."
Amelia strode over to the broken TV and began to hum. Within seconds, it was operational.
Mewtwo stared at the robot. "That was amazing," he purred.
"Whoa! There are little hearts appearing over his head!" Young Link exclaimed.
Amelia turned and faced Mewtwo. "I hope that you find this satisfactory," she said. "I must return to the hangar to recharge. Is that acceptable, Master?"
"Yeah, sure," Young Link answered.
Mewtwo's gaze followed her out of the room.
"Ah, finally!" Zelda cried. "We're back to the Manor!"
It had taken them a long time, but they had finally made it out of the Handy Food Making Plant. Donkey Kong had managed to blow a giant hole in the wall, and they had dug their way out from there.
"Tell me about it," Ness added. "I can't wait to see Paula again."
They walked through the front doors and walked back into their respective rooms.
"Hello?" Captain Falcon yelled. "Where is everybody?"
The morph standing guard looked at him balefully. "Please stop. You are annoying."
The captain sat back down and fumed on his cot.
The Ice Climbers and Marth sat in the living room, watching "Fellowship of the Ring" on their newly-fixed television. The Ice Climbers had spent every second of the movie commentating on what they thought should or should not have happened, or what was so cool, or how much they loved Orlando Bloom (Nana) and Liv Tyler (Popo).
"AARGH!" Marth screamed, clutching his hair. "I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!" He charged out of the room.
Nana stared at Popo. "That was weird…" she said.
They continued to watch the movie. As they watched, a small red dot appeared on the back of Popo's hood. A few seconds later, a shot was fired.
"Huh?" Nana asked. She began to turn to face Popo, but vanished before she could see.
And that's chapter eighteen! In case your wondering, Nana vanished with Popo because that's what happens in the game – the PK didn't do a "double kill" or anything like that…
Hope you liked it! I don't know when the next update will be (like usual), so…see you then!
Valete.