I'm ba-a-ack…and I bring to you the DRAMATIC CLIMAX!

I'm not sure if I have to put this here or not…but I don't own Nyquil. Or Rat Race, as I'm sure you've heard. XD

The three finalists sat together in the Dining Room. Marth was staring at Kirby, who was staring at Samus, who was staring at Marth. Every five seconds they would switch their gazes simultaneously.

"…" Marth said.

"…" Samus said.

"…uh…Do you guys want something to drink?" Kirby ventured.

"…" Marth responded.

Kirby sat back in his chair and continued to look around at the others.

The other Smashers gathered in the Swishy Pool That Shows You Whatever You Want to See Room, and were watching the finalists from above.

"It's so Kirby," Roy said.

"You're just saying that to defend Marth," Falco snorted.

"You are both gullible fools who fail to recognize that it was the blue skinned one and NOT the blue haired or blue-tinted one," Mewtwo growled.

"I agree wholeheartedly with Mewtwo," Amelia added.

"You don't even have a heart!" Fox yelled.

All of the Smashers began to growl at each other. Finally, after about five minutes, Peach turned and looked back down in the Pool That Shows You Whatever You Want to See.

"Guys, look!" she screamed. "Kirby's going for a gun!"

"That's pocky." Link said.

"…Oh." Peach blushed and began to dust her sleeves off.

They watched for another thirty minutes (and got into five more fight in the meantime) before things got interesting.

The three finalists continued to stare uneasily at each other. Kirby tried to break the mood once again with a loud, off-key rendition of "Haunted", but stopped when Samus shot a missile at him.

"…Well…" Marth began. "I guess it's time for us to go to sleep."

"Should we sleep in the same room, or at three opposite section of the house?" Samus asked.

"Maybe we should just wander off in completely random directions until we find a suitable place and then we can sleep there," Kirby said.

"Sounds good," Marth responded. "I'm leaving now. And, I must warn you two…if the killer attacks me, he or she is going to die a most painful not-really-death…" He stood up and silently walked out of the room.

"Well….goodnight." Kirby tore out of the room.

Samus waited a few minutes and then walked out.

The eliminated Smashers had divided the SPTSYWYWS into three sections so that they could monitor all three finalists at once. Captain Falcon was, of course, watching Samus in hopes that she would admit her undying love and/or lust for him while she was alone.

"Come on, Sammy…tell me that you love me!" he cooed. "Tell me that you are incredibly obsessed with my amazing physique and charming personality!"

Ganondorf stared at him. "Could you be more oblivious?" he said sarcastically.

"…Huh?" Captain Falcon asked.

Ganondorf punched him in the face, and then continued watching Samus in peace.

"What's up?" Ness asked as he walked over from Marth's section.

"Nothing," Ganondorf answered. "She's sleeping, I think."

"That's not good…" Ness said. "What if the killer decides to -"

His thought was finished for him as Kirby walked in. The puffball transformed into a Zelda copy and began to chant. Within seconds, the ceiling had collapsed on the bounty huntress.

"…whoa." Ganondorf said. "Kirby's the killer?"

Samus suddenly appeared next to them. "Ow…" she moaned.

"OMG! OMG! OMG! Kirby's the killer!" Nana screeched.

Everyone stood around the pool as it switched to show Kirby.

Marth rolled around on the floor of the hangar, trying to stay awake. He knew that the killer would come for him at some point, and he knew he had to stay awake.

"Gah…why did I take that Nyquil?" he moaned. "I should have known better…"

He sat up and began rubbing his head. As he did, he heard a soft pattering. He stood up and unsheathed Falchion.

Kirby leapt out from the shadows wearing a Crazy Hand Hat. "Boo!" he cackled as he shot a barrage of rockets from his mouth. Marth leapt to the side and managed to escape being blown to small pieces.

"You'll never take me!" Marth yelled in an attempt at sounding heroic and masculine. He charged at Kirby and slashed upward with his sword.

"I want the statue!" Kirby yelled. "I will stop at NOTHING to have the statue! Think of all the chocolate!" He continued cackling as he created an earthquake.

"What do you mean, chocolate?" Marth yelled back. "He didn't say anything about chocolate!"

Kirby grinned evilly. "He told me."

Marth took the opportunity to plow his sword through Kirby. Kirby vanished in a puff of smoke, and Marth followed soon after.

When they arrived, they found themselves surrounded by the other Smashers.

"WE'RE GOING TO KILL YOU, KIRBY!" All the humans shouted.

"Ditto!" Fox and Falco said.

"JIGGLY!" Jigglypuff screeched.

Marth leapt out of the way as the other Smashers began to pummel Kirby.

The Smashers gathered outside of the Manor the next morning. Peach had convinced Marth to dress up in a tuxedo, and managed to get Bowser in a shiny golden shell.

"CONGRATULATIONS, MARTH!" Crazy Hand yelled. "YOU ARE THE WINNER OF THE LARGE CREEPY HAUNTED CONTEST! DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY TO THE CROWD?"

"…There's no one here." Marth said.

"…THAT'S RIGHT! ARE YOU READY TO ACCEPT YOUR REWARD?"

Marth sighed. "Yeah, yeah, whatever. Kirby's going to eat it, anyway." He gestured toward Kirby, who smiled from underneath several bandages.

"EXCELLENT! HERE IT IS!"

A helicopter arrived, carrying a very large, very detailed, and VERY chocolate statue of Marth. The Smashers and Crazy Hand cheered, while Master Hand sat and watched in boredom.

(Ending One)

Marth watched the helicopter as it flew overhead. His eyes widened as he saw who was behind the wheel.

"Hi, everyone!" Daisy called. She waved at them from the cockpit and blew kisses at Luigi. He promptly fainted.

"What? When did she learn how to fly a helicopter?" Fox yelled.

"My thoughts exactly…" Marth said slowly.

Daisy sat back in the cockpit and began pressing random buttons. At first things were going well, until she saw a panel filled with red buttons that said "Do not press"

"Ooh…forbidden buttons…" she cooed. She pressed them all at the same time.

The wire holding the chocolate statue broke. It hovered in the air for a moment, and then fell down, landing on all the Smashers.

Master Hand laughed maniacally.

(Ending Two)

Marth watched the helicopter as it flew overhead. His eyes widened as he saw who was behind the wheel.

"Hi, everyone!" Tracy called. She smiled at them as she lowered the chocolate statue onto a large, ornate pedestal that said "Marth the Effeminate". Captain Falcon took the opening to run very, very far away.

"THREE CHEERS FOR MARTH! THREE CHEERS FOR MARTH!" Crazy Hand cheered.

"Why do they say 'Three Cheers' anyway?" Ness asked. "Whatever."

Jigglypuff hopped on top of the pedestal in front of the statue. "Jiggly Jiggly Jigglypuff!" she addressed them cheerfully.

"She wants to sing for us…" Mewtwo warned them.

"Eh, I could use a good nap," Zelda sad, smiling. "Go ahead, Jigglypuff!"

Jigglypuff began to break out into song, putting all of the Smashers into a sleep filled with dreams of chocolate chip cookies.

So…that's it! The story's over…I hope you all liked it! As most of you probably know, I'm going to write a sequel, so stay tuned!

Bye, everybody!