5
Scorching water beat down on Bella's tense muscles and she stood with her hands pressed against the tiled stall. Her head throbbed, her shoulders ached, and every time she closed her eyes, she saw her father's fear-filled eyes staring up at her just before she plunged the knife into him again. She rarely allowed herself to think of the man who'd sold her out, who had betrayed her in the most heinous of ways. Leading him to borrow money from Carlisle Cullen had been easy, but she never expected her father to turn his back on her.
How had she missed it, though? That's what she hadn't been able to figure out in over a year. Her father had lusted after her. He wanted to be the man making her cry as he fucked her, wanted her to suck his cock. What kind of father looks at his daughter with lust and need?
"Stop thinking about him," Bella scolded herself as she pushed herself off the wall and grabbed her bottle of shampoo. She needed to get her game face on, stop letting her feelings show. She had to be strong and brave. There were too many people counting on her.
When Bella stepped out of the bathroom, she found Edward in her bed, laptop propped up on his knees, pillows behind his head as he leaned against the headboard. He wasn't wearing a shirt, but she could see the top of his pajama pants.
"Hey," she murmured, tossing her towel into the hamper and pulling on the button up she'd slipped into. It was the same shirt Edward had worn the night they slipped away to Port Angeles to get married. He'd given it to her so she would have something to hold on to when things go hard. She'd worn it every night since she escaped Hell.
"Nice shirt," he snickered, pulling the blankets back on her side of the bed.
Bella bit her lip and looked back at the door.
"You okay?" Edward asked.
"Yeah. I, um, I just need to make sure the house is locked up," she mumbled.
"I did," he insisted, closing his laptop and placing it in the bedside table before climbing out of the bed and walking toward her. "Three times. All the doors are locked, all the windows are locked. The alarm system has been activated. Alice and Aro are asleep. Now, do I need to sleep on the couch?"
Bella sighed, unsure how to respond to him.
"Talk to me," he pleaded, grabbing her hands and pulling her toward the bed.
She pulled his hands out of his, taking a step backward. "No, I just . . . I'm sorry."
Before he could stop her, Bella turned and rushed out of her bedroom. It was silly, she knew, but she had a routine, one that had gotten her through the night for a year. Once downstairs, she started at the back of the house, checking every window and door as she made her way through the front of the house. Edward was right, of course. All the doors and windows were secure, and the alarm had been set, but one couldn't be too careful, could they? There were a lot of monsters that loved to prey on women like her. Like Alice and Leah and Elizabeth.
"Feel better?" Edward asked as Bella walked into her bedroom.
She bit her lip before she nodded and carefully climbed into bed next to him. "Sorry."
"Don't be," he said, sliding his arm around her and pulling her against his chest. "I want you to feel safe here, Bella. We're not going to let anyone hurt you. Not again."
"Yeah," she whispered, but wondered how he could keep that promise while making the decision to bring Leah to the ranch.
"You're still pissed with me, aren't you?" Edward whispered. "For not telling you about Jasper, Emmett, and Rose."
Bella sat up, shifting her body so that she was facing him. "We had a plan, Edward. After I got Alice and Leah out and safe, I would disappear. Then, when the FBI wasn't looking for me any longer, you'd sneak away and join us. That was the plan."
"The plan also called for me arresting Cullen and everyone associated with him, but you kind of made that impossible, didn't you?"
Bella tensed.
"I'm sorry. That was mean," he muttered.
"No, you're right," she admitted. "I could have left him alive. Left him tied to that table, left him to go to jail. But I wanted to hear him scream for mercy. For him to beg me to stop, and he did. He begged and pleaded, cried for me to spare his life, Edward, but I fucking refused. And do you know why?"
Edward's eyes were wide as he shook his head.
Bella scooted off the bed and turned her back toward him. Taking a deep breath, she pulled right side of her shirt up and lowered, her pants and panties. "He wanted to mark me as his. Said this way I would always belong to him."
She felt Edward's fingers graze her skin, so she pulled away, covering her body again. Looking back at him, she said, "He was never going to let me go. He'd taken a liking to me, I guess. Like how I cried, how I fought him. He would spend the rest of our lives trying to break me. So I took my chance and I killed him."
Edward bent his knees up in front of him. "I don't know what to say."
"Nobody does," she muttered, moving so that she was sitting in the chair in the corner of her room. "Killing him turned out to be the hardest of all of them. Esme Platt never saw me coming. It wasn't until I plunged my knife into her back that she even knew I was there. "
Bella paused, his lips curving downward in a frown. "Charlie, on the other hand, he tried to reason with me. Looked me right in the eye and said he hadn't done anything wrong. Leah wanted him to fuck her. Wanted him to hurt her. Can you believe that?"
"No," Edward replied, softly.
"When I was little, before my mom died, we'd make pancakes every Sunday morning. He'd put me on his shoulders and run around the yard. Felt like I was flying." Bella ran her fingers through her damp hair. "I've looked back at my life, tried to find the moment that he felt the urge to touch me. I don't remember him looking at me inappropriately, his eyes didn't linger on my breasts. But he wanted me, Edward. And when he couldn't have me, he bought my best friend and made her his whore."
Bella bit her lip, shifting her eyes to her husband. "Why didn't I see it?"
"I don't know," he said.
"I wish someone knew," she murmured, laying her head on her knees. "Are you really here for good?"
"If you want me to be." Edward reached for her. "Come here."
"I . . ." Bella shook her head. "I can't sleep tonight. Too many secrets exposed today."
Edward frowned. "Maybe I should have told you they were here, but you wouldn't have felt safe knowing they were watching over you."
"No, I wouldn't," she admitted. "Did you not trust me to take care of myself?"
Edward pressed his lips together.
"I see," she chirped. "Guess I don't blame you. I did kill four people, after all."
"That's not why I didn't trust you, Bella," he argued. "Killing them, that was the right thing to do. I don't like that you have blood on your hands, though. I would rather have been the one to end their lives."
"So why don't you trust me, then?" she asked.
"Because you've been hurt, and instead of being honest about how you feel, you're keeping it all bottled up inside. You're trying to be strong for everyone, but inside, you're barely hanging on."
Bella sighed.
"Am I wrong?" Edward asked.
"No," she confessed. "But Aro can't take care of Alice on his own. Even leaving them alone when I run into town is dangerous."
"Hence why I had Emmett here, ready to step in if needed. He knows how to handle girls like Alice, sweetheart."
"And like me?" Bella asked.
Edward hesitated, but nodded.
"And Jasper?" she wondered. "What is his specialty?"
"Besides baked goods?" Edward snickered.
"Obviously," she scoffed.
"Jasper spent almost ten years in the army, some of those years in Special Ops, which he refuses to talk about. He's an expert tracker."
"Ah, I see," Bella murmured. "And Rose? Are she and Emmett really married?"
"Yes, they are," Edward said. "I told you Emmett knows how to handle girls like Alice, didn't I? Where do you think he learned it? Rose has a PHD in criminal psychology and she's a licensed physician. You should ask her to tell you their story sometimes."
"Maybe," she said. "So, when are the others getting here?"
Edward's shoulders tensed. "A few days. Seth's not ready to be moved, and he won't stay behind."
"Would you?" Bella asked. "If it was Elizabeth?"
"No," he admitted. "Which is why I'm willing to wait a few days."
"They shouldn't be coming here at all," Bella muttered. "Why can't your other team handle them?"
"I thought they could, but . . ." Edward moved so that he was sitting on the edge of the bed. "If I didn't think it was in their best interest to come here, I wouldn't bring them. But Leah's a loose cannon, Bella. She saw you kill your dad."
"She won't tell anyone," Bella argued.
"She already did," Edward said, quietly. "On my way through Texas, I stopped by and checked on them. Ben's reports kept talking about how agitated she was, how he was worried about hurting someone. Ben and Angela are set up in a small diner, said Leah's a regular. So, I figured I'd grab a cup of coffee and a piece of pie on my way through, get a firsthand view of how she's doing. They were already there when I walked in. I sat at the counter, gave Ang my order. I had only been there a few minutes when Leah excused herself, saying she needed to use the ladies' room. On her way back out, she sat next to me, asked my name, where I'm from. Bella, there was a darkness in her eyes that had me on edge. I slapped some cash on the counter to pay for my coffee and pie and turned to leave when she said she'd seen someone get murdered, said she'd enjoyed it. I looked back at her. She had a butter knife in her hand. I don't know, I just . . . She needs more than Ben, Tyler, and Angela can give her."
"And you think bringing her here is a good idea?" Bella asked. The sound of Alice screaming echoed into the bedroom. Bella scrambled to her feet. "How do you think Alice is going to handle having someone else here? That girl is barely hanging on."
"I don't know, okay? I don't!" Edward exclaimed, standing up. "Not like there's a handbook."
"Send Emmett, Rose, and Jasper to them," Bella suggested.
Edward scoffed.
"We don't need them here," Bella argued.
"Yes, we do," he replied, placing his hands on his hips. "You're too close to this situation to see it clearly."
"Too close?" she murmured. "This was my plan, remember?"
"Yeah, I do," he said. "Because my plan didn't call for you to put yourself in a sadist's fucking hands."
Bella pressed her lips together. "You're never going to forgive me, are you?"
"You didn't do anything that I need to forgive, Bella. I just wish you would have listened to reason before putting your plan in action."
"It was the only way to find them," she argued.
"No, it wasn't," he snarled. "We could have taken him out long before you went under."
"Yeah, and saved Leah, but not Alice, or any of the people that Esme had in the warehouse. Find the connection between Elizabeth and whoever this Sandman is."
"Maybe," he conceded.
Bella bit the inside of her lip as she walked across her bedroom and placed her hands on his chest. "I wish like hell there had been any other way to take him down, to destroy him and everyone connected to him, but I did what I had to do, Edward."
"And so have I." Edward brought his hands up to her face. "I needed people I trusted to be here in case you needed help. Please, don't be angry with me."
Bella sighed. "I'm not. I just don't like being lied to by the man I love."
Edward smiled. "I love you, too. Now, come to bed."
Tensing, Bella started to move away, but Edward dropped his hands to her hips. "Please. I want to hold my wife. Nothing more."
"I'm just . . . I'm just not ready for . . . more."
"I know. Just holding, I promise."
With a sigh, Bella nodded. As she and Edward settled in bed, his arms wrapped around her, the feel of his heart beating, Bella's eyes drifted close, and not even the sound of Alice's screaming could keep her awake.
Long time, I know. Took a bit longer to finish my book, but I did. Hope you're still here for the ride. It's not going to be an easy one.