8

Edward stepped away from Bella, his fingers wrapping tightly around hers as he gestured for the door, but she pulled away. She just wasn't ready to see Leah again. The guilt she felt for what her . . . what the man who had once been her father had done to her was a burden that weighed heavily on her shoulders. Facing her was too much to ask.

"I'm sorry," she whimpered. "I can't."

Though she could tell that Edward wanted her to go downstairs and greet their new guest, he didn't say anything as he turned and rushed out of the room. It hurt Bella more than she wanted to admit to watch him choose them over her, their needs over hers. She loved him, but she was starting to wonder if his feelings for her were real. He was her husband, yet he continued to put others before her.

Hiding behind the curtains, Bella watched as he walked out of the house and greeted the people who had accompanied Seth, Leah, and Jake. There were two males. The first was tall and lanky. He looked like he'd grown too faster than his body could handle. He had long dark, brown hair that he had pulled back into a ponytail that only a few men could really pull off. Bella was too far to see what color eyes he had, but his body language told her that he was cautious, suspicious of their surroundings.

The other man, this one a good foot shorter than his friend, had short, black hair and wore a pair of black framed glasses. He was broad in the shoulders, and stood protectively in front of Leah, which warmed Bella's heart a bit. But just a bit. Next to Leah, stood a woman with long, thick, black hair. She was around the same height as Bella, but she was much thinner. She, too, was wearing a pair of glasses, but they weren't as awkward on her as they were on the man. They seemed to fit her style.

Edward said something to the six of them that had their eyes shifting from him up to the window were Bella was peeking and she quickly moved so not to be seen. It was ridiculous, she told herself. Edward would never put herself in a dangerous situation. But then, he had allowed her to put herself in the hands of the devil.

"That wasn't his fault, stupid," she muttered to herself as she slid to the floor, curling herself into the corner of her bedroom. "You were the idiot who thought you could save everyone. You deserve everything that happened to you."

And she did. He'd begged her not to go, begged her to find a different way, to let him help, but she was stubborn. What had being stubborn gotten her?

"Nothing but memories I can't get rid of and a life not worth living."

—BR—

Bella stayed locked in her room for the rest of the night. Edward came in just after ten, but didn't say anything about Leah, Seth, or Jake. He didn't say much of anything to her, which hurt more than she realized it would. His disappointment in her cut deep and she knew he expected her to be stronger than she was.

She slipped out of bed just after six in the morning, leaving Edward asleep. He was laying on his back, his arm draped over his eyes, while his other arm was hanging off the side of the bed. She'd pretended to fall asleep the second they got into bed, but in reality, she'd stayed up all night. She couldn't risk sleep, not after what had happened the day before. She'd done so good to keep that part of herself locked up, not to let her nightmares get out of control. But he'd heard them.

Bella dressed in a pair of jeans and a T-shirt, adding a pair of running shoes before slipping from her bedroom and creeping downstairs. The house was dark, only a small nightlight in the living room and the glow from the clock that blinked from the front of the DVD player. She'd just reached the front door, when the sound of someone clearing their throat startled her and she choked back her scream as she spun around to find Jasper stretched out on the couch. He reached up and flicked on the lap.

"Going somewhere?"

"Not really," she lied. "Thought I'd sit on the porch for a bit."

"Oh, yeah? I'll go with you." Jasper began sitting up, but stopped when Bella hissed for him to stop. "You were leaving."

"Just for a few hours." She lied again. She wasn't sure how long she planned to stay away. She just knew she couldn't be inside that house when everyone woke up.

Jasper shook his head, kicking his legs to the side as he sat on the edge of the couch. Somehow, it amused her that he was sleeping on the couch filly dressed, shoes included. "Darlin, you can't just go trudging all over the place without letting him know where you're at."

"I can do whatever I want," she said, trying to sound stronger than she was, but when the light over the stairs came on, Bella began to panic. "I'm sorry."

She turned and threw open the door, rushing out of the house and out to her truck, but before she could shove the key into the ignition, the passenger door opened and Jasper climbed in.

"Get out!" she ordered.

"Not gonna happen. Wherever you're going, I'm going to."

Huffing, Bella glared at him, but started her truck and shifted in reverse, backing out. "Fine, whatever."

Jasper didn't utter another sound as she pulled away from the house, as she drove down the driveway, or when she pulled onto the highway. In fact, he didn't say anything as she drove into town and pulled up in front of his bakery.

"What are we doing here?"

Bella shrugged her shoulders. "Couldn't think of anywhere else to go. Figured you'd need to come in and open the place, so here we are."

Jasper smiled. "It's the weekend. I'm closed."

"Oh."

"But we can go inside if you want," he said. "I'll teach you make a tart or scone, or something."

"What if I don't want to learn how to bake those things?"

"Then, we can sit awkwardly in here until you go somewhere else, or tell me why you're running away all the time."

"I'm not running away!"

"Darlin, nobody needs to come into town every other day for milk and pastries."

Bella pressed her lips together before pushing her door open. "Scones it is!"

Jasper laughed as he led her into his shop, locking the door behind her. She wasn't sure why that little act didn't scare her. She didn't know Jasper, yet she wasn't afraid of him taking advantage of her. He could. She was alone and at his mercy. He could throw her on the floor, hit her, kick her, and call her his whore. He could fuck her anyway he wanted and make her his slut, but she wasn't afraid of him. That alone scared her. Why wasn't she more afraid of him?

Jasper led her into the kitchen. "There's an apron on the hook behind the door. Scones can be messy."

"You're really going to teach me how to make scones?"

He pulled out a large cookie sheet and placed it on the counter. "Unless you want to cut the bullshit and tell me what's going on inside that head of yours."

"Why do you care?" she asked, grabbing one of the aprons and slinging it over her head. She began to tie it around her waist.

Jasper didn't answer her as he covered the cookie sheet in parchment and set it aside. He grabbed a large mixing bowl, flour, baking powder, milk, eggs, yogurt, walnuts, cranberries, salt, sugar, and butter onto the counter.

"Come here," he said, and she did as he told her. "Watch me and then you can do the next batch."

"Okay."

Jasper started measuring out the ingredients. Two cups of flour, two and a half teaspoons of baking powder, half a teaspoon of salt, and so on. Once he had everything mixed according to his recipe, he placed the dough on top of a floored cutting board and began to knead it over and over.

"Did Edward tell you much about my time in the army?"

"Said you don't like talking about it."

"No, I don't," he admitted, pressing the dough with his knuckles. "My family didn't have much money, which gave me few options when I graduated from high school. The army seemed like a good fit. They were about order and respect, about rules and strength. I did well and advanced quickly. I joined special ops because I was good at it. My daddy had taught me about hunting and tracking, about being aware of my surroundings. I was a Goddamn eagle scout, for fuck sake."

"Can't picture you in Boy Scouts," she admitted while he spread the dough flat into a circle and began cutting it into wedges with a knife.

Jasper snorted. "Well, I was. I found myself while in the army, somewhere I belonged."

"Until?" Bella asked. "Seeing as you're not a general, something had to have happened."

A frown tugged at his lips as he began lining his cookie sheet with wedges. "I can't tell you most of the details, but my team and I were ordered to invade a compound believed to be the headquarters for one of the biggest terrorist cells in the Middle East. When we got inside, we found dozens of young girls who had been sold, stolen, lured into sex slavery. Most of these girls weren't even old enough to know what sex was, Bella. They were babies. We managed to take out our target, but when we tried to offer refuge to the girls, we were told they weren't our problems. That we had no business worrying about what happened to them. I put in a request to end my service the next week. Finished my tour, came home, started the next part of my life. But those girls haunted me. I hated myself for leaving them behind. Still do, actually."

"It's not your fault," Bella said. "You had to do what you had to do, right?"

Jasper nodded as he placed a clean mixing bowl in front of Bella. "You're turn."

"You really want me to make scones?"

"Yep," he said.

She sighed. "Fine, but when they taste like shit, don't get mad at me."

"I'm sure they'll be delicious."

Bella knew better, however, she started mixing the ingredients like he had shown her. "How'd you meet Edward?"

"That is a very boring story," he chuckled and leaned against the counter as she added the salt into the mix.

"Good thing I like boring stories, huh?"

"I used to date his sister."

"You and Elizabeth?"

Jasper nodded. "A long time ago. When I came back from the army, he hit me up for a drink, explained about Eclipse, and asked if I wanted to be a part of it. I didn't even hesitate when I said yes."

"Because of Elizabeth?"

"No. Well, not just because of her. It was more of a combination of her and all the girls I couldn't save."

"Were you in love with Elizabeth?" Bella asked.

"No. We were too young to know what love was. Hell, we were only fifteen, but she was my best friend for a long time. We lost touch when I went into the service and she went to college. It was almost a year before I heard she'd gone missing, but I knew she hadn't just run off. She wouldn't have done that to Edward."

"So, now you're here to help him find her?"

"Her and whoever else needs to be found." He turned and faced the counter. "You ready to knead that dough?"

Bella looked down at the gooey mix in front of her. "Guess so."

Jasper sprinkled some floor on the cutting board. "There you go."

Bella dumped the dough in the middle and began pushing down on it. It didn't give much leeway, though. Not like it had for Jasper. Feeling frustrated, she huffed and stepped backward, pushing it toward him.

"You do it."

"No, darlin, this one's yours." He pushed it back toward her. "Don't use your hands. Use your whole arm. Really beat the shit out of that dough."

Bella tried again and again and again, but still found herself barely able to push or pull the dough the way it needed to be. "Why is this so hard?"

"Because you're scared," he said, reaching out and placing his hand on her arm. She tensed from the contact and pulled her arm away. "And it's okay to be scared and angry. Hell, I'd be pissed off if I'd been through half of what you have. Or Alice, or Leah."

At the mention of Leah's name, Bella took several steps backward, wiping her hands on the front of her apron. "I don't want to talk about her."

"Edward wouldn't have brought her to you if he wasn't sure you'd be safe."

"Stop saying that!" Bella screamed. "I don't care if it's safe. I don't care if it's for her own good. Why do I have to give up the one place I feel safe for her?"

"Is that why you're angry?" Jasper asked. "You think he's put her needs before yours."

"Hasn't he?" Bella asked. "I told him I didn't want her here, yet he insisted that they come. This place . . . Jasper, this is my home. Mine and if I don't feel safe here anymore, what am I supposed to do?"

"You need to tell him," Jasper said, "and you can't do that by running away."

"You don't understand," she whimpered, inwardly kicking her ass for letting her emotions show.

"You're right, I don't, and I won't pretend to, either." Jasper gestured toward the dough. "Finish your scones."

Bella shook her head, but walked back up to the counter. She kneaded the dough the best she could before rolling to flat and cutting out the wedges just like he had done. The entire time, she wondered what it must be like to not have a care in the world, because right now, she was cracking around the edges and it terrified her what would happen when she broke for good. Maybe Carlisle Cullen was right: everyone had a breaking point, even her.