11

Walking away from Edward was harder than Bella expected. She hated that she'd dropped an ultimatum on him, but she couldn't keep living like this. Every second that Leah was here was a reminder of how weak Bella was, how she'd taken her father's life without care.

Bella wandered out into the pasture, sitting on a log that had fallen long before she bought the place. The ranch had been her biggest purchase when planning her escape. Her realtor had been wooed by the money she flashed, her wiliness to pay in cash, and her insistence on paying all closing costs. She knew she'd have to leave Washington. There was no way she would have been able to stay in Washington. Not after making sure Carlisle Cullen paid for what he had done to her, to Leah, to Alice, and to every other person he'd hurt during his lifetime. And there had been plenty of victims to avenge.

Bella had done her research on the man. Carlisle Cullen had been born to a middle class family. His father had been a preacher, his mother a teacher. They didn't have much money, but they managed a good life. Carlisle been top of his class, attended Colombia University on a full scholarship. He studied business and had been wildly successful. He moved around a lot, known as a shark in the boardroom. He was ruthless when taking over small companies, ripping them apart, and selling them for pieces. But that was nothing — nothing compared to his personal life.

While most of what she found had been speculation, the rumors that followed him around the country were mild compared to the truth. His taste for pain and humiliation had been well-known; nothing hinted to the true ruthlessness that man lived by. He was a monster, a horrible, crazy son-of-a-bitch, and Bella was glad she'd snuffed the life out of him.

Bella was startled by the sound of a horse trotting behind her, causing her to turn on the log. Emmett had mounted her black stag, Morpheus, and had Daisy saddled next to him. Feeling her shoulders tense, she stood and prepared to defend herself against him, against his judgement.

"Get on," he said, throwing Daisy's reins at her.

Bella caught them before they hit her in the face. "Why?"

"Because Daisy needs to stretch her legs and you need to get away from the house for a bit."

"I do, do I?" She hummed. "And you think you, who has been lying to me for the past year, knows me well enough to make that assumption?"

"Ride, don't ride. I really don't give a shit, Bella. Trust me, or not, I'm here for you, to help Alice and Leah and anyone else that comes onto the ranch."

"Why?" she asked. "Why do you want to help us? Why do we matter to you?"

"If you want to know that, you'll get on Daisy and follow me."

And without giving her a chance to argue, Emmett used his heels to spur Morpheus to head further into the pasture. Without thinking, Bella pulled herself into Daisy's back and followed him. It was better than sitting by herself. She hoped. More than anything, she wanted to trust Emmett and Rose, Jasper and everyone associated with Eclipse, but mostly, she wanted her life back.

Emmett slowed down as he approached the edge of Bella's land and hopped off Morpheus, tying him to the fence post. Bella slowed down and climbed off Daisy, but held onto her reins.

"I grew up in Tennessee. My daddy worked for the lumber mill and momma owned a small daycare." Emmett smiled, finally turning and looking at Bella. "They danced every night and never left the house without a kiss and a hug. They were happy and in love. Taught me how to love a woman, how to respect her."

Emmett bent over and picked up a stick and pulled a small pocket knife out of his back pocket. He started slicing the bark off it. "They were murdered when I was sixteen."

Bella inhaled a sharp breath.

"I'd gone out that night with friends. School was out for Christmas break and school was kicking my ass hard. I just wanted to have some fun, you know?"

"Yeah," Bella whispered.

"Dad said I should stay home. It was supposed to snow and he worried because I'd just gotten my license. I didn't listen, promised I'd wear my seatbelt and be home by midnight." Emmett tossed the stick back onto the ground and closed his pocket knife, shoving it into his pocket. "The house was dark when I pulled into the driveway. I knew something was wrong because momma never went to bed until I got home. She said she worried about her baby boy too much not to wait up. So when all the lights were off, I knew something bad had happened. I just . . . Hell, I was not prepared for what I found.

"Dad had been tied to a chair in the living room. He'd been beaten, tortured, stabbed numerous times. Mom," Emmett whimpered. "Sorry, I don't talk about this a lot."

"You don't have to tell me," Bella mumbled.

"Yes, I do," he insisted. "You need to understand that when I look at you, Bella, I don't see a weak, fragile woman."

"You don't?" Bella asked.

Emmett shook his head. "My momma fought tooth and nail against the man who killed her. The police said he brutalized her for hours. He . . . raped her, sodomized her, beat her. She fought so hard her nails tore and bleed. She had dozens of broken bones."

Emmett dragged his hand over his face, wiping away the tears that had fallen. "Turned out my momma had filed a claim of child abuse against the father of one of the little girls she watched over. Said . . . said he was sexually abusing her. The state took her away from her father and since her mother had abandoned her not long after she was born, she was put in foster care. Her father went crazy. He stalked my mother. Followed her everywhere she went, called her all night, threatened to harm her. They got a restraining order, the police searched for him, but he didn't want to be found."

Emmett paused for a moment.

"He was long gone by the time I got there, but the police found evidence that momma had hurt him: his blood, hair, plenty of DNA to implicate him in their murders. They issued a county wide manhunt, closed the roads, did house to house search. They found him locked inside his house with a gun pressed against his forehead. He was drunk, covered in my parents' blood. He didn't deny what he'd done, said he'd see them in hell and killed himself. I wanted to be the one to put a bullet in him, but he stole that away from me, too."

"I'm sorry."

"Thanks, but I didn't tell you this for you feel sorry for me, Bella."

"Then why did you?"

"Because every day for the last year, I've watched as you battled through more shit than anyone should have to. I know it's not easy. When my parents were murdered, I was angry as hell. I let my anger consume me to the point that I made some decisions that would have my daddy busting my ass. Alcohol and drugs became my lifeline and I . . . Well, I'm not proud to admit it, but I wasn't a good man."

"So what changed?" Bella asked. "You seem decent enough of a guy."

"I found Rose."

"Found her?"

Emmett nodded. "Lying in the middle of the street with her skirt bunched around her waist and her head split open. Someone hadn't done nice things to her, Bella, and they left her to die. Drunk, high on whatever drugs kept the nightmares away; I picked her up and carried her six blocks to the hospital."

"Why didn't you just call an ambulance?"

"Hell if I know," he scoffed. "The doctors saved her life, said she had internal bleeding. She spent ten hours in surgery and another five days in the ICU. I never left the hospital once."

"Not even to get your fix?" Bella asked, cocking an eyebrow. "You had to be jonesing for another hit."

"Oh, I was," he said. "But I couldn't leave her. The police questioned me for hours, accused me of being the one to hurt her, but when Rose came to, she told them that I hadn't been the one to hurt her."

"Who did?"

"Not my story to tell," Emmett said. "But Rose—she gave me a reason to live, hope for a better life, I guess. It was hard as hell, but I got clean and sober. Started getting my shit together. I wanted to be the kind of man she deserved—when she was ready. I fell in love with her and somehow, the two of us have made it work."

"So what? You and Rose joined Eclipse to avenge those that hurt you?"

"Nope." He smiled. "Money's decent and we don't have to stay in one place for too long. Hell, this is the first time in a decade that we've spent more than a few months somewhere. We like our freedom, like being able to pick up and go when shit gets hard. Edward sends us where we're needed and we do what we can. That's how Eclipse works."

"And you think I'm being selfish for wanting him to focus all his attention on me?"

"No, ma'am," he said. "I happen to agree with you. Edward is a good man, but you need him to help you get past all the shit you've got bottled up inside."

"What about Leah?" Bella whispered. "Doesn't she need him?"

"Maybe, but you need him more."

"I . . . I don't know what to say," she said, sighing. "I know his work is important to him and finding Elizabeth is why he formed Eclipse."

"But?" Emmett prompted.

"But I guess I wonder if . . . I don't know . . . he blames me for not being strong enough to deal with my shit, as you called it. I'm the one who put myself in that situation. It was my choice to infiltrate Cullen's operation in the first place."

"Yeah, and you were an idiot."

Surprised, Bella snorted and turned back to Daisy, gripping the horn of the saddle and pulling herself back onto the mare's back. "Fuck you, Emmett."

"Oh, I'm sorry. Did I hurt your feelings?" he asked with a laughed, but grabbed the reins and pulled them out of Bella's hands. "I'm not going to coddle you, Bella. You made a fucking mistake when you went in. I get why you did, but you were wrong and if you'd been my wife, I wouldn't have allowed it."

"Allow me? What makes you think you'd have the right to allow me to do anything?"

"The commitment you made. Or would have made. Edward loves you too much to tell you this, but it crushed his soul when you went under."

"It crushed mine, too," Bella whimpered.

"I know," he said. "You and Edward need to work on your shit and you can't do that if you're constantly running away and he's too worried about hurting your feelings."

Emmett tossed the reins back up to her. "Decide if Edward is worth fighting for, or let him go. The decision is just as much yours as it is his."

Taking a few steps back, he tilted his head toward me. "Go. I've gotta check a few things out here. Make sure the place is still secure. I'll be back in a bit."

Bella wanted to thank him, wanted to say something profound and meaningful, but she found herself unable to find the right words. So, instead, she pulled on Daisy's reins and headed back to the house. Once she had Daisy back in her stall, Bella walked back to the house. Seth, Jake, and Leah were seated in the living room with Ben, Angela, and Tyler, who she had yet to officially meet and now wasn't the time. Shifting her attention away from them, she walked through and into the kitchen, where she found Alice, Aro, Jasper, and Rose.

"Hey," she murmured. "Is he upstairs?"

"Yes," Jasper said, placing his hands on the table and standing up. "He's packing."

"P . . .packing?"

"Apparently, Edward has decided it's time to move on from here."

Tears filled Bella's eyes as she rushed upstairs, down the short hallway, and throwing open the door to her bedroom. Edward stood next to the bed with two suitcases open in front of him and another one sitting on the floor next to him. However, instead of packing his own clothes, he was folding her jeans.

"I wasn't sure what all you'd want to take, so I figured I'd pack everything."

"You did?"

He nodded and turned his attention back to the suitcases.

Bella closed the door behind her and walked up behind him, wrapping her arms around him. The tears she'd struggle to keep from falling seeped down her face and into the back of his T-shirt.

"You'd leave all this behind for me?"

"I'd do anything for you," he said, covering her hands with his. "I love you, Bella."

"I love you, too," she whispered. "I just . . . she scares me, Edward. The look in her eyes. I don't know that she can be saved."

Edward turned so that he was facing her, his hands cupping Bella's face. "Then we'll leave and we'll start over."

"We can't," Bella said, frowning. "I want to more than anything, but . . . we can't."

Edward sighed. "Sure we can. It's what you want."

"No, it's not." Taking a step backward, Bella slipped her hands in with his. "This is my home, my safe zone, but now, I feel like I can't be myself here. I want my feelings to be more important that anyone elses. I want you to ask if you can bring strangers into my house. I don't like being spied on and lied to, and I don't like being forced to let a dangerous person around people that I care about."

"Okay," he said, slowly. "So, we're staying?"

"If you can assure me that from this point on, you won't handle me."

"Handle you?"

Bella nodded. "Having people spying on me, treating me like I'm fragile and breakable. I've earned the right to control what happens to me and inside my house, Edward."

"Okay, I can do that, but in return, I want a promise from you."

"What?"

"Don't run," he said. "When you're scared, when you feel the walls closing in on you, don't run from me. Let me help. Maybe that means you and I have to spend the day at the beach, or whatever, but we'll do it together."

"I promise," she whimpered, leaning up on her toes and placing a soft kiss on his lips. "I'd do anything for you."

"And I for you."