Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to Doctor who, they belong to Russell T Davis and the BBC. I do own the plot and any characters you don't recognise.
Love is not always fairytales and romance
Rose she clearly remembered that night three months ago, before the last of Time Lords was even a mere blimp on the radar.
Flash back three months a go:
She remembered the Doctor had been unusually quite after seeing Sara-Jane again. After discovering she had waited for him. She knew he was riddled with guilt.
She had left him alone and allowed him to be. She had learned and knew he would never tell her anything if she tried to force it out of him. He would merely clam up; his previous self had been the same, it was like a defensive reflex she supposed.
She was left alone to sit in the console room, listening to the TARDIS humming to her self. She also suspected the TARDIS was doing it to try and sooth her turmoil filled emotions.
Mickey was in his room at the far end of the other side of the TARDIS. He would never be able to hear anything coming from the console room.
She was still furious that the Doctor had allowed Mickey on board the TARDIS after Sara-Jane had insisted upon the TARDIS needing another Smith.
She seethed as the Doctor had ignored her whilst Sara-Jane had been around. She did not hate Sara-Jane. No she found she and the elder woman had so much in common.
They were both in love with the Doctor. Sara-Jane was left behind and she to would soon be in the same situation.
As the Doctor had told her, she was human, and like all humans did, she too would eventually wither away and decay, that they all eventually left him.
Rose had sat near the console lost in thought helped along by the soothing humming of the TARDIS.
She was so caught up in her thoughts that she had not even heard the Doctor enter the console room. She had no idea he had been watching her for the last five minutes without making a mere sound.
She jumped slightly when she felt a cool hand touch her on the shoulder. She turned to face whoever it was who had disturbed her thinking time, and would deliver a right good tongue lashing.
Whatever tongue lashing she had been planning on dishing out instantly died a quick death, when she had been assaulted full blast with the strong and rank stench of whiskey.
She wrinkled her nose and eyed the Doctor in disbelief. She could not believe it; she would have not believed it had it not been for the toxic smelling alcohol fumes being emitted from the Doctor.
The unbelievable had finally come to pass, the Doctor was intoxicated, rat assed, drunk as a skunk, smashed, pissed out of his mind. There were so many phases given to describe the Doctor's current state.
Rose eyed him incredulously. Her whole facial expression and body language screamed sheer disbelief.
She blinked several times, thinking her grief filled mind was playing nasty little tricks upon her, that she had finally cracked.
But still the Doctor remained standing in front of her gazing down at her with open undisguised heated lust.
Rose felt her jaw go slack at the look the Doctor was levelling her with. She must have fallen to sleep and was dreaming an extremely strange dream indeed.
She pinched her self to make sure it was not all part of a weird dream after all. She let out small yelp when she felt pain from the pinch she had just inflicted upon her self.
The Doctor let out deep throaty chuckle at her antics. He commented with a husky voice with a slight slur.
"I assure you I am very much real Rose. No matter how much self inflicted pain you cause your self, I will still be standing here, and not as an illusion of your imagination."
Rose flushed partly in anger and part embarrassment. How the hell did he do that to her? Why the hell did he affected to such a degree, it was totally unfair in her opinion?
Totally unfair when he was unaffected by her, totally unfair that he was drunk and mostly likely was drunk enough to believe she was one of his past companions.
Rose closed her eyes and sighed. Her eyes instantly snapped open when she felt his cool hand gently caress the side of her face.
She froze as his thumb gently caressed and traced her bottom lip. She pulled away and stood. She began to slowly back away from the Doctor.
In return he began to slowly move forwards to wards her. Rose asked with more then a little apprehension.
"Doctor what and how much exactly did you drink, you wreak of alcohol as if you practically bathed in it?" she continued to step backwards swallowing nervously.
She had never seen that look in his eyes before. It both terrified her and thrilled her. It was pure unchecked lust, and hunger.
His eyes were darkened and glazed over, and she had feeling it was not just because of the alcohol he had drank.
The Doctor all but purred, but still with a slight slurring to his speech. "Why Rose, why do you have a terrified look upon your beautiful face?"
He added with an almost seductive little smile "I don't bite, not in less you want me to that is." Rose felt her jaw go slack and her eyes bug.
Rose laughed nervously and let out a startled yelp when she realised as she felt her back hit one of the walls of the TARDIS, that she was trapped.
She was trapped and he was now fast advancing upon her. She gulped and flushed when he stopped in front of her, placing his hands on either side of her head, completely trapping her.
She shivered as she felt his warm breath up against her neck. She froze when he nuzzled the side of her jaw.
Oh yeah, he was drunk as a bloody skunk alright. She had to do something before he did something he was liable to regret in the morning when he was sober.
The Doctor was never this forward or flirty, at least never with her, she felt a painful sadness knowing he was only doing this because he was drunk and lonely.
Rose almost melted when she felt him gently kiss her jaw line. She froze yet again when she felt his hand brush against the side of her breast.
This was wrong, but how could something that was wrong feel oh so right? She knew if she did not stop him, then he would hate her in the morning. He could easily accuse her of taking advantage of him in his drunken state.
Before she could open her mouth to speak, the Doctor had hungrily captured her mouth in a searing kiss. Rose moaned as he passionately slanted his mouth over her own.
She whimpered as he slipped his tongue passed her lips and suckled on her own tongue, as he firmly caressed her breast, pinching and squeezing the nipple making it hard.
Rose panted as he pulled away and began to suckle on her jaw line slowly tracing his tongue all the way up to her ear. He swirled his tongue inside said ear causing her to whimper and bite her lower lip.
She began to panic slightly when she felt his hands reaching for the hem of her t-shirt. She gripped his hands, making him cease all movements.
The Doctor grunted in annoyance and looked at her pointedly in question. Rose answered his silent question.
"Doctor this isn't what you want, you are drunk and do not know what you are doing. It is not me you want; you do not see me like this."
The Doctor removed his hands from hers and reached for the hem of her t-shirt once more. He commented "don't fight it Rose. I am a big boy, more then capable of knowing what I want and what I need. Don't you worry and just enjoy."
Rose was gob smacked, if this was what happened to the Doctor when he had drank too much, then she did not know weather to laugh or be afraid very afraid.
She decided to give in, realising this was more then likely her only chance. She would deal with the consequences in the morning.
But for now she intended to make the most of it and commit this one special moment to her memory.
She raised her arms aiding the Doctor in lifting her shirt up and over her head, where he allowed it to drop onto the metal grating of the floor.
He then licked a trail down her throat and down her neck, stopping at her breasts. He caressed her breast with one hand and the other reached behind her to unclasp her bra without a moment's hesitation.
Rose shivered as he pulled her bra down, allowing it to drop to the floor to join her t-shirt. He then proceeded to caress her bare breasts, cupping a breast in each hand, squeezing and moulding the soft supple flesh to his hands.
He pinched both of her nipples, twisting them and pulling at them, before bending his head low, taking her left breast into his mouth and suckling hungrily, letting out a content sigh as she whimpered.
He swirled his tongue teasingly as his other hand pinched the nipple of her other breast, causing her to moan at the double sensation.
She moaned arching into his mouth, gripping his hair, as his teeth grazed her nipple, before taking it into his mouth and suckling down hard.
He then released her breast with a moist popping sound before giving her other breast the same attention.
His hands slowly and sensually trailed down her stomach, his finger circling her belly button teasingly.
He released her breast and gripped her hips as he slowly lowered him self onto his knees, as he trailed his tongue down her torso and stopped at her stomach.
He nibbled around her belly button before swirling his tongue around the indent causing her to throw her head back and scream in pleasure when it darted inside her.
He continued to nibbled kiss and suck on her stomach as his hand trailed down stopping at the waist of her jeans.
His fingers made quick work of the button and zipper on her jeans. He pulled away from her stomach with one last long swipe of his tongue.
He then pulled her jeans down taking her underwear with them, with a tug. Rose stepped out of her underwear and jeans, kicking then to one side to join her other clothing.
She was finally left naked standing in front of the fully clothed Doctor. She flushed at the appreciative lust she saw shining in his darkened brown eyes.
She moaned and whimpered when he slowly and teasingly slid a finger inside of her, swirling it inside of her hot soaking wetness. She was so wet and tight.
He added a second finger and placed both finger deep inside of her in a scissor motion, bending his knuckles, causing her to moan and whimper loudly.
After a moment or two he removed his fingers and lifted them up to his mouth and suckled her wetness off of his fingers, like it was the most delicious treat.
She moaned at the sight, causing him to wink playfully at her. He then stood to his full height and reached down and unbuttoned and unzipped his trousers, taking his underwear with them.
He lifted her effortlessly off of her feet, causing her to let out a startled gasp. He then gripped her hips after positioning his hard length at her opening.
He eyed her for a moment before wrapping her legs around his waist and bringing her down hard upon his entire length.
If he had been sober he would have never done that, he would have prepared her more to accept his decent sized length.
Rose let out a scream of both pain and pleasure. She knew it was the alcohol that was making him so ruff and careless. She would not hold it against him.
He did not give her time to adjust, he immediately begun thrusting in and out of her, in and out over and over again. She met him thrust for thrust.
She had always imagined her first time with the Doctor would be sweet romantic and lovingly slow. This was not making love this was pure heated fucking.
So much for her fantasies and dreams of slow romantic love making, accompanied by low soothing whispers and caresses of love and adoration.
Rose felt tears prickle at the corners of her eyes, but never would she let the tears fall, never. She would help him and allow him to have this moment of release, a moment from the pain and loneliness.
Rose moaned out aloud when his thrusts increased in pace and became deeper and harder. Her moans and screams were swallowed by his hungry kisses.
Soon she felt her self going over the edge, after he had pounded into her with a certain angle one last time, spilling him self inside her with a scream of her name.
It was the shock of hearing him scream her name that sent her over the edge completely. She shook and clenched her inner walls around him, causing him to growl and continue too empty him self deep inside of her.
Then all movement ceased, and she slumped against him spent as he did the same against her. Her mind and emotions were all over the place.
He had screamed out her name, her name. This had shocked her to no end. But what could it possibly mean?
She had no intentions of getting her hopes up, she pointed blank refused to do so. It could not mean anything; it was most likely in the heat of the moment that he had screamed her name.
Present time:
Rose snapped out of her thoughts and looked over at the Doctor on the other side of the console. He was doubled over leaning onto the console for support.
She slowly waked over to him and asked "Doctor are you ok?" she sucked in a breath when he looked up at her.
His face was a wash with tears. She could see guilt, regret, anguish pure remorse but above all she could see two emotions she would have never thought possible to be aimed at her self, especially coming from the Doctor.
Love and adoration, they were the two emotions that had left her breathless. But what she did not understand was the tears that his cheeks were drenched in.
Before she could open her mouth to speak and ask him what was wrong and if he was going to be alright, he had stepped forward cutting off what she had planned to say next.
He had taken her into arms and had captured her lips with his own in a passionate but tender kiss. He poured all the love adoration and desperation he felt for her into that one kiss.
Rose, she froze, but only for a moment before she was kissing him back, tears streaming down her face. Tears of relief and other unimaginative and overwhelming emotions that threatened to swallow her whole.
The TADRIS, it was allowing both the Doctor and Rose to feel each others emotions. The kissed deepened before they pulled away.
The Doctor held her against him, refusing to loosen his grip around her waist; he rested his fore head against her own.
Both were breathing and panting heavily, as tears continued to stream down their faces. The Doctor croaked out.
"I love you. I am so sorry, I never meant to or wanted to hurt you, I'm sorry that I left you behind, sorry that I never told you how I felt until I had hurt you."
He asked "why did you not tell me you were pregnant? Why had you not told me I was hurting you that night I was drunk?"
Rose gasped and pulled back slightly and asked "what? How do you know I was pregnant? And who or what says you hurt me that night Doctor? I willing allowed you Doctor; I assure you I would not be still here right now if you had forced me."
The Doctor sighed as more tears fell. "I can feel you, I feel your emotions and see and hear your thoughts. The TARDIS I think she might have created a link between my self, you and her."
He added as Rose opened her mouth to protest. "I heard your thoughts. I saw you reliving that night three months ago, the night I suspect our child was conceived."
He finished guiltily "I could feel the pain and confusing you felt during that memory. I knew I had been intoxicated and had selfishly not prepared you properly."
He eyed her with tear filled brown eyes filled with pain and remorse "all I can tell you is that I am sorry, sorry that I hurt you.
I never wanted our first time together to only be thoughtless shagging up against the wall of the TARDIS console room.
It was insensitive of me, and the fact I was drunk on a bottle of two hundred and fifty year-old mature Gallifreyan whiskey is no excuse what so ever."
Rose choked "whiskey? Two hundred and fifty years-old alien whisky?" she could not help but eye the Doctor as if he was insane.
She commented incredulously "I bet that was some bloody strong shit. No wonder you were intoxicated. It was a wonder you were still conscious and not on your back."
The Doctor grinned sheepishly and nervously ran his hand through his hair making it stick up, even more wildly then before.
The grin left the Doctor's face. He told her "Rose we have to discuss us, to discuss our unborn child,
Also I must tell you what happened on satellite five. I can no longer keep that away from you, weather you remember what happened or not."
He frowned "plus I also sense the TARDIS has something she needs to tell both you and I" the TARDIS let out a brief humming sound confirming she did indeed have something they both needed to know.
So the Doctor led Rose from the console room and to his own room. They needed to talk in privacy. They could not do that in the console room.
Mickey could head there at any given moment. But he would never ever think to check the Doctor's room, hell he didn't even know where the Doctor slept.
The Doctor had every intention of keeping it that way.