19

The almost nineteen hour drive from Port Angeles to the bunker, which happened to be just outside of Savageton, Wyoming, was excruciating for several reason. First, though Bella tried not to let it show, her shoulder throbbed. The pain radiated throughout her body; however, she wasn't sure that was just from the hole in her shoulder, or the physical exhaustion that came with killing her best friend. Logically, Bella knew she had done the right thing, but that didn't make the guilt she felt lesson. One more body to add to her collection. She wasn't any better than Carlisle Cullen.

The second reason that made the drive excruciating was the way everyone watched her, without actually watching her. Edward kept his arm around her, or his hand on her leg. Somehow always finding a way to keep a physical connection with her. Perhaps he worried that she'd throw the door open and leap to her death, or maybe he wondered if it would be better if he threw her out and ridded himself of the burden of having a wife that wasn't strong enough to keep her shit together.

Several times during their long, exhausting drive, Bella sensed Emmett's hand over her shoulder, his fingers brushing against the back of her hair. Peter and Garrett looked back at her, though Garrett was smoother about it than the other man in the passenger seat of the SUV. He used his mirror to make eye contact. The look he'd give her was full of pity and grief, sorrow and perhaps even disgust. They'd seen her — all of her in the midst of her personal hell. The faded scars that marred her torso from where Carlisle Cullen had brutalized her, the agony of her screams, pleas for mercy, and the understanding that she willingly put herself in his hands just so she could be the hero.

"Some hero I was," she muttered under her breath.

Bella shivered at the thought of the man who had destroyed her life. Being back in that room — it was enough to send Bella into a spiraling meltdown, one she kept locked inside. She'd been the one to put herself in his hands, after all. If anyone to blame from breaking her spirit, it was Bella herself.

Garrett pulled up in front the bunker just as the sun was beginning to set. If Bella hadn't been expecting it, she would have overlooked the thick metal door that had been built into the mountain side. Only the door and two dusty windows gave any sign that there was a building hidden inside the earth. Clever hideout, she thought, and she could understand why Edward had it in case of emergencies.

Bella winced as she slid out of the backseat of the SUV. Edward's arm was automatically around her waist, and she fought against the urge to push him away, to scream at him not to touch her ever again.

"You're sure nobody will find us here?" Bella heard herself asked, feeling everyone's eyes shift from the door to her.

"Yes," Edward murmured, pressing his lips against the side of her head.

That proved to be too much for Bella, and she yanked herself out of his embrace and turned to get back into the car. She reached for the handle, but before she could wrap her fingers around it, the door to the bunker was pushed open and when she looked back, she saw Jasper standing in the entry space.

Bella stumbled backward, crying out as her shoulder exploded in pain from the sudden movement. She shifted her eyes back to Edward before she sucked in a deep breath and shook her head. "I can't go in there. Not yet. I'm sorry, but I . . . I just can't."

"Okay," he said, tilting his head toward the entrance. "Everyone, get inside. We'll be there when she's ready."

"Ed . . ." Garrett said, but didn't add anything before he hurried inside with Peter, Emmett, and Rose following. Jasper gave them a fleeting look before he stepped back inside the bunker and closed the door.

"I'm sorry," Bella murmured, cradling her arm against her as she took several steps toward her right.

"Don't be sorry. Just tell me what's going on inside that head of yours."

"I . . ." She shook her head. "I thought I was prepared for anything that could happen when I walked into that house. I kept telling myself that there was nothing he could do that would break me. I was stronger than him, determined to find Leah and Alice. Save them for Jake and Aro. I was going to be their salvation." Bella paused, struggling to keep her tears from falling. "I never wanted you to see me like that. Forced onto my knees, my terror on display."

Edward sucked in a deep breath. "Yeah, can't say I was ready for that, either."

"I wanted to save her," Bella whispered. "That's all I wanted, but I . . . I think I broke her instead."

"No," Edward insisted with an airy gasp as he reached for her, but Bella pulled away. "Sweetheart, you didn't break her. Cullen broke her. That motherfucker you once called your father broke her."

"How could she want that again? I don't understand, Edward. I don't fucking understand!"

"Shh." Edward was careful to wrap his arms around her and nestled her against his chest. "I don't understand, either, but that doesn't make it your fault. Leah just . . . she found herself lost in this world."

Bella's body shook with sobs as she gave up and let her tears fall, the words, "I'm sorry," falling from her lips over and over. Sorry for killing Cullen, her father, Leah; Sorry for putting herself in hell; But mostly sorry for not being strong enough to survive. Inside, Bella was already dead.

—BR—

"Are you ready to go inside?" Edward whispered, not wanting to pressure her, but knew others would be worried if they didn't go inside. Especially Garrett. The man knew better than any of them what Bella had been through.

"It's safe?" she murmured, tightening her grip on the front of his shirt.

He knew the protective way of holding her was hurting her shoulder, but every time over the last half hour that he tried to loosen his grip, she whimpered and clung tighter onto his shirt. Bella needed him and for once, he was going to be there for her.

"It is," he said. "Nobody inside this place is going to hurt you, sweetheart. I promise."

Bella nodded, but didn't loosen her grip on his shirt. The vision of her being raped, the sound of her screams haunted him. He had known, of course, but seeing it flashing on the wall, hearing her pleas for help, for mercy, had been worse than anything he had imagined. How she survived was beyond him. Well, he wasn't sure you could call her surviving. She was barely hanging on and Edward hadn't a clue how to help her. He'd never felt so helpless.

"Come on," he murmured, feeling her body tense against his as he shuffled them toward the doorway.

Edward kept her tucked against him as he reached out and pulled the door open, a loud creaking noise echoed around them. As he shuffled them over the threshold, a light flickered on, and Bella whimpered. He wanted to take her and run, leave everyone to fend for themselves, but he couldn't. There wasn't anywhere else to take her, so for now they'd have to bunker down and pray whoever tipped the cops in Port Angeles that she was still alive hadn't followed them.

Edward pulled the door shut behind them, making sure it was locked before nearly dragging Bella's trembling body down a long, dim hallway. He stopped outside of another door and pressed his lips against the top of her head before raising his hand and thwacking his knuckles against it once, twice, and then a third time.

A pregnant pause settled around them before he heard the door's lock click and it was pulled open, Jasper once more standing in the doorway. There weren't many people he trusted with everything, Bella being one and Jasper being the other.

"Garrett's already updated me," Jasper said, pulling the door open enough to allow Edward to help Bella inside. "Shit just got fucked up."

"Yep," Edward agreed, but didn't say anything else before tightening his arm around Bella and leading her through the control room, down another hallway to a series of small bedroom. He pushed open the door to the first room on the left and led Bella inside. "Sorry, it's not nicer."

"It's okay," she whispered, finally releasing her grip on his shirt. She winced as she walked over to the full size bed and sat on the edge. "I fucked everything up, didn't I?"

"No," he said, walking over to a cabinet and pulling out a pair of musty sweats and an old T-shirt of his. He'd stashed them there after Bella fled from Forks, praying the day wouldn't come that they had to seek refuge at the bunker. When he turned back to his wife, he found her standing in front of the small sink, staring at herself in the mirror. "I can get you some pain meds."

Bella shook her head, her eyes flicking to his through the mirror. "I should check on Alice."

"No," he disagreed, and before she could argue, he said, "I'll check on Alice and Aro. You need to rest."

Bella sighed, but nodded as she turned from the sink. She whimpered as she climbed onto the bed, curling up on her side. Edward tossed the clothes he'd gotten out for her on the bottom of the bed before sitting on the side. He draped his arm over her legs and leaned down to kiss the side of her head.

"I'll be back in a few minutes. Just gotta get everything secure. You going to be okay?"

"Aren't I always?" she whispered, her eyes already closing.

Edward frowned, but didn't call her out on her simple statement. Bella had been anything but okay over the last year. As he left her inside their small room, he thought back to every decision he had made over the last two years. He'd never forgive himself for letting her put herself in the hands of the beast. He should have whisked her away, saved her from not only Carlisle Cullen, but the man she once called her father, too. Edward was a coward.

When he entered the control room, he wasn't surprised to find Rose, Emmett, and Jasper waiting with Garrett and Peter.

"So," he said, clapping his hands together. "How bad is it?"

"From what I'm gathering, the police arrived at Peter's about two minutes after you left," Jasper said, crossing his arms in front of him. "So far they haven't found anything that links Bella to Peter, or them to Cullen, but someone, this asshole who called in the tip I think, sent pictures to the police of Bella back at the ranch, in town, at Newton's hardware, and one outside of Cullen's house when she went after Leah. I don't know who this motherfucker is, but he's too close. We hid her well, Edward. How the hell did he find her?"

"I don't know," he said, shaking his head. "Who is he? Newton? Anything come up with him?"

Emmett snorted. "Dude's got a handful of traffic tickets, wrote a couple bad checks a few years back, but other than that, he comes back clean. Newton's a tool, but there's nothing in his history that suggests he had anything to do with this. Guy grew up in Raleigh, moved away after college and settled down to run his grandfather's hardware store."

"So this 'sandman' person then?" Rose suggested. "Let's face it: Bella's fucked his shit up when she took out Cullen and that bitch Pratt. Could be looking for revenge."

"Maybe." Edward nodded. "Probably."

With nothing more to add, Edward turned and walked away from his team, knowing things were only going to get harder for Bella. No longer could she skate by as Anna Mason. The world now knew Bella Swan was alive.