„I am a total failure. As a husband and as a man." Sirius Black buried his handsome face in his hands as he spoke.
"What are you talking about, Sirius?" Sirius best friend Remus Lupin, sitting opposite him at the sunlit pub's table shook his head. "Your marriage is going just fine and after all I know you are a lot but no failure as a man." Remus could not help but smile at memories of Sirius' days as Hogwarts' leading ladies' man came to his mind.
"You don't get me Remus, I just can't do this. How could I ever think that I would make a good husband? I mean look at me, I am so… Oh, I blew it all!" Sirius would not listen to anything Remus would say. Even though 44 years old, Sirius Black was still as stubborn as a teenager when it came to having his way with things.
"Once again: What are you talking about?" Although, Remus thought quietly, it was not as though he had not seen this coming when Sirius had rushed into a marriage with a witch a lot younger and as different from himself as she could possibly be.
Sirius finally took his hands off his face, faced Remus and said: "I am having an affair."
Remus could not help it: "Well, it would make no sense to pretend that this would come as a surprise." He said dryly.
"What? Just a minute ago, you told me everything seems fine in my marriage, blabla. And now you tell me you've known it all along that I would start an affair?" Sirius looked scandalized, however, equally unsurprised.
"Sirius, given that your wife is, well not exactly your type and that you seemed to act so out of character when you married her in this cosy little ceremony ten months ago, just after dating her for, what was it? Three months?
"Two." Sirius' voice sounded agonized.
"No, given all that, it does not surprise me at all." Remus sighed. "And now you are seeing someone else?"
A mischievious grin flickered over Sirius' face: "I am not only seeing her Moony, mate. Sorry." He added after Remus' face showed the desire to be spared the details all to clearly.
"OK, so I do not say that I appreciate your having an affair and cheating on your wife at all. But I mean, if you know that it's wrong, why don't you just end it and get back to your marriage and try to make it work?" Remus looked at his friend in concern.
"I can't. It's too late." Sirius said this with a determination that made Remus suspect the worst.
"You got your affair pregnant? Sirius, are you crazy?"
"No, I did not get her pregnant you idiot, I know better than that. No, it's worse."
"Worse? What could be worse?" Remus asked, completely bewildered.
Sirius sighed: "I am in love." Remus stared. Sirius continued: "I am madly in love. I think of her all the time, I spend my days working out ways how we can be together. I crave for the hours with her, I curse myself for not having found her earlier."
Remus was speechless. Then: "Oh my goodness. You love her? You really love her?"
"I fantasize about a family with her. Or a wild and crazy life. Or exile on some deserted island. Or whatever would make her happy." Sirius drowned his drink. "I am doomed."
"Yeah, you are." Remus drowned his drink too, staring at a ray of sunlight falling through the window. "How long has this been going on?"
"Two months. I hadn't seen her, I mean really seen her, for a long time. And then we got toghether by accident and talked for a whole day, the conversation of my life, I tell you. She is in a situation that is so similar to mine, it's almost spooky." Sirius was appearantly lost in thought.
Remus raised his eyebrows: "So, she is married too?"
"Yeah and I hate the bloke. He is a prat, doesn't know what he has, that idiot." Sirius' eyes darkened.
"You know him?"
"Yeah. But that's not the point. The point is that I know her. And that I want her like I've never wanted someone. Remus, you know I've had a lot of women." Remus nodded exasperatedly. "But what I have with her is so intense. And it's not just the sex, although that is really unbelievable, I can tell you that. No, it is her, how she is, she wipes me off my feet. She is beautiful, a real stunner, but that's not the point either. It's her heart, she knows me, mate, she understands me. She can see right into my soul and what's the best thing about it, she lets me see her soul too. And her mind, what a mind! She's the smartest witch I've ever met…" Sirius' voice trailed away as he described the woman he loved.
Something in Sirius' words made Remus look up: "Sirius" he said slowly. "That woman, she is no one we know, is she? I mean, she is none of our friends? Sirius, tell me she isn't!"
Sirius frowned slightly, looking extremely guilty, but said nothing.
"Oh no. Sirius you didn't. That is so out of question!" hissed Remus who had just realized who Sirius' mysterious affair must be.