Okay, so here it is! I told you it was coming! :) This first chapter kind of ends weird, so I'm going to post chapter 2 soon. Otherwise, updates will probably be kind of weekly, sorta. It's not *finished* completely, but by the time I get all of what I've written posted, I should be done or nearly done- I hope!
Anyway, this is set around the end-ish of season 4, but it's definitely AU. You'll see some familiar stuff, but not too much of it follows what actually happens on the show.
Now, I need to give a gargantuan shout-out to Cynthia Salander! She has been my cheerleader and my encourager and the reason I'm able to post this! So, I'd like to dedicate this story to her! She has worked hard to be my beta reader and I don't know if she knows how much I appreciate her! And, by the way, she is an amazing writer and if you haven't read her stuff, go check her out and show her lots of review and favorite love, because she deserves it! She is one of my favorite FF writers, and she'll become yours too, I'm sure of it. :)
Wow, this is becoming a long AN, sorry about that. When you get to the end, please don't hesitate to tell me what you think! Reviews are literally my favorite things in the world. Now, without further ado...
Saturday, June 19, 1999 - 8:12 P.M.
"I'm so glad you finally asked me out."
Chandler smiled nervously at her and moved some food around with his fork before meeting her eyes, "Oh yeah?"
"Yeah," she smiled and blushed, "I was starting to think you didn't like me," Annie replied, smiling at him.
He chuckled nervously, "Well I…"
"I know, you're kind of shy," she said, "It's one of the reasons I find you so attractive."
He let out a laugh, "Oh, well, I didn't know that was an attractive quality."
"It is to me," she smiled.
Chandler picked up his water glass and took a sip of it to hide his face. She was perfectly nice, he thought, and he could do this. He could be on a date with her and enjoy her company. "Well, I'm glad that you accepted when I asked," he finally said. He winked at her and couldn't help but notice the blush that came over her cheeks.
He'd noticed her staring at him a few times, in the break room at work, or in a meeting, or in the elevator, but he didn't have much interest before. His interest was in one person. His focus, his mind, his world.
But that was before and now, things had changed; he had to move on. For his own sanity.
So, he asked her out for a movie and dinner and thought he'd give it a shot.
And she was funny, and cute, and kind, and sweet.
But she wasn't her.
As hard as he tried, he wasn't interested in Annie. The date was going fine, but he was kind of ready for it to be over.
She smiled and stabbed some roasted broccoli onto her fork, "You went on vacation a few weeks ago, right? Did you go anywhere fun?" She asked him, breaking up his thoughts again of the woman he wasn't on a date with.
He scratched the back of his head, "Uh, yeah. I went to London."
Her face lit up with excitement as his heart pounded. He thought that he should probably go back to London one day and get to explore it instead of worrying about her and what she was doing with her boyfriend the entire time.
"Wow," she said excitedly, "that's on my bucket list."
He smiled a little, "My friend was getting married to a woman from London and I was his best man," he said, and took a sip of his wine, "but, unfortunately, there wasn't much time to sightsee."
"Aw, I bet the wedding was beautiful though," she replied dreamily.
Chandler nodded, "Yeah, it was. It was in an old church that they had started to tear down, but Ross and…" he swallowed. Why was it so hard for him to talk about her? She'd moved on, she was happy, why couldn't he?
She only broke his heart into a million pieces, but he should get over it, right? He cleared his throat, "Ross, who was the groom, and his sister hung strands of lights everywhere and put candles out. It turned out beautiful."
He thought about the events after, when Ross said the wrong name and ruined the entire ceremony, and about how Emily wouldn't even return Ross's calls now. But he thought if he told any of that to his date, it would bum her out and kill her perfect London wedding fantasy and the dreamy look on her face.
"Did you see the Big Ben?" She asked, folding her hands underneath her chin.
He smiled gently, "Yes, and the Abbey," he said, "I'll have to show you some pictures sometime."
"That would be great!" She said happily, picking up her wine glass.
He watched her as she took a sip of the red liquid. Watching a woman drinking out of a wine glass was usually so sensual, something that drove him wild.
Her lips parted, and he watched as the wine passed them.
Nothing. Watching Annie did nothing for him.
Clearing his throat, he tried to snap out of it again, "So, what do you do for fun?"
She put down her fork and finished chewing the bite she took before she answered, "Oh, um, photography," she said, smiling at him.
"Oh wow," he said, nodding at her, "do you photograph weddings and events?"
She bobbed her head back and forth, "Some," she said, "but mostly I enjoy pictures of nature."
He pressed his lips together and nodded, wincing a little as the conversation stopped again.
This was hard.
Mostly because he never had to worry about the conversation when he was talking to her.
He was never very good at this, but now he felt like he was even worse.
It wasn't who he wanted.
He sighed quietly and tapped his fingers lightly on the table, "Hey, uh, did you know that Anne, the Queen's second child, is like 8th in line to the throne?"
She giggled and shook her head, "No, I didn't know that."
"Yeah, and if Charles's kids have any kids, she moves even further back! I mean, how fair is that? Second born and constantly pushed away from the ultimate goal? Of course, the Queen's sister, Margaret, had the same problem."
"So, in that family, you do need to be the firstborn," she agreed, lifting her eyebrows at him.
He nodded, "Yeah, or I guess it would be better if they would only have one kid."
"How many kids do you want?"
Chandler pulled his head up, looking right into her eyes, "wha-what?"
"Kids, do you want kids one day?"
He laughed nervously, "Um, well, yeah, I mean, I guess," he stuttered out.
"Chandler, relax," Annie said, smiling at his overreaction, "I'm not asking you to have children right now," she continued with a chuckle, placing her hand on his arm, "I was just making conversation."
He lifted his eyebrows at her, nodding slightly, "Oh, well, um. I love kids," he replied, somewhat ashamed of the shake in his voice, "but I just don't know if I'm grown up enough to have one of my own," he finally managed.
She smiled again, reaching over to take his hand, "You're so funny," she said, squeezing her fingers against his.
He looked down at her hand resting on his. Closing his eyes, he remembered the spark he felt when she touched him.
But again, with Annie, he felt nothing. No spark, no energy.
He didn't want to hurt her feelings, but he didn't see much of a chance for a second date.
He jumped slightly and it made her move her hand from him when his cell phone began to ring and vibrate in his pocket. He frowned at her and shook his head, "I'm so sorry," he said lightly. He slid the phone out of his pocket and silenced it, sliding it back into his pocket again.
He picked up his fork, "So what kind of-" he stopped talking when his cell phone did the same thing again.
She furrowed her eyebrows together, watching him as he silenced the cellular device the second time.
"Sorry," he repeated.
"Must be important," she said to him, her eyebrows raised.
Chandler waved a hand, "Nah, it's just my roommate. He probably has some sort of stupid question about where the snack cakes are or something to tell me about a girl that he met that really can wait until I get home," he replied with an eye roll.
Annie chuckled, but stopped when Chandler's phone rang again, "Just answer it," she said softly. When he tilted his head at her, she nodded again, "Please, answer it. It would make me feel better."
He gave her an apologetic look as he took it out of his pocket and flipped it open to answer it, "What, Joe, what?! I'm on a date!"
"I know you're on a date, I'm sorry," Joey said and to Chandler, it sounded like Joey was running, "but I had to call you."
Chandler's face immediately turned from angry to concern when he heard the tone in his roommate's voice. Something wasn't right. "What's wrong?"
"Ross was in a bad accident."
Chandler's heart sank to the ground, "He what?"
"I'm on the way to the hospital," Joey said, running into and apologizing to a stranger on the sidewalk, "I couldn't get a cab."
"Is he okay? What happened?"
Joey sounded like he stopped running then, taking a few breaths before he answered Chandler. "He's not doing too good, man. I don't know what happened," he replied, "he was in a cab, that's all I know. He's at Beth Israel."
Chandler swallowed, "Alright, thanks, Joe." He closed his cell phone and looked over at his date, who already looked sympathetic, "I'm sorry, I gotta..."
"I heard, who is hurt?" Annie asked.
Chandler stood and put his jacket on, "uh, my college roommate and one of my best friends, Ross," he said to her.
"The one that just got married?" Annie asked, wide-eyed.
He nodded and lifted his eyebrows, "uh, yeah. Him." He wondered briefly where Emily was at that moment.
"I'm so sorry," she said, standing with him, "I'll come with you if you want?"
Chandler shook his head, the thought of being with another woman when he saw her making his stomach churn, "Uh, no, that's okay," he said quickly, "here," he pulled his wallet out of his back pocket and took cash out of it, "take this and pay for dinner, okay?"
She took the cash and nodded, "Okay."
He smiled sadly at her, then leaned over and kissed her cheek, "I'll call you," he said softly and hurried out of the restaurant.
Chandler jogged into the hospital and looked around, looking for a sign of anyone he knew. He finally spotted Phoebe, who stood in the emergency room waiting area, her arms crossed, a look of despair on her face. He could tell just by looking at her that she was trying to keep calm, trying to keep her composure. He quickly walked over to her, "Pheebs," he said, placing a hand on her arm, "where is he?"
She moved her hand and placed it on top of his, "They're working on him now," she said brokenly, "and they won't let anybody in."
Chandler frowned at her, "Is he..."
Phoebe closed her eyes, "I don't know, nobody would tell me anything. So, I grabbed a nurse and forced information out of her."
Chandler didn't want to think about that too much, "Well, what did the nurse say?" He asked cautiously.
Tears filled Phoebe's eyes and her voice broke when she spoke, "She said that he's hanging on by a thread."
His heart began to pound in his chest, "Oh, God," he said softly, "what happened?"
Phoebe shrugged a shoulder, "All I know is that he was in a cab and a truck ran into them. The cab driver…" she started, and a tear finally left her eye and rolled down her cheek, "…he didn't make it," she said brokenly.
Chandler swallowed the lump that formed in his throat, trying to hold back his tears. He pulled Phoebe into a hug, holding her tightly to try and avoid breaking down. "Ross is going to be okay," he said to Phoebe, but also himself, "he has to be."
They held each other for a long time, but it was what they both needed.
When she finally pulled back from him, he gently pulled on her arm to join him in the chairs, "Come on, you probably need to sit down." Phoebe nodded and followed him to the chairs. He helped her sit down, her hand on her big, pregnant-with-triplets belly. "Where is everybody?" Chandler asked.
Phoebe sighed, "Rachel and Joey are on their way, I couldn't get Monica. She is with Richard, and I don't have his number. I also left word with Susan to let Carol know and she said she would. I assume they'll be on the way soon."
He swallowed again, "Um, do you know where Monica is?" He asked softly.
Phoebe rolled her eyes, "They went to some sort of benefit thing," she sighed, "and I've called Monica's phone so many times, but she must have it turned off."
Chandler licked his lips and nodded at her. He remembered that Monica used his cell phone to page Richard back when they dated the first time.
His stomach turned at the thought of talking to Monica's boyfriend, but she needed to know that her brother was in the hospital. That was more important than any feelings he had. "I um," he pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and scrolled through the contacts, "I think I may have Richard's pager number."
Phoebe's face lit up just a bit, "Oh really?"
He cleared his throat, "Yeah, I mean, if he hasn't changed it," he shrugged a shoulder.
"It's worth a shot, could you try it, please?" She asked, placing a hand on his arm.
Chandler grit his teeth together, then scratched the back of his head, "Um, yeah, I will."
She smiled at him, then stood as Joey approached them. Phoebe hugged him, "Any news?" Joey asked.
Phoebe shook her head, "No, nothing yet."
"Rachel? Mon?"
"Rachel was in Albany visiting her mom, but she's on her way. Chandler is going to try to page Richard and see if we can get a hold of Monica."
Chandler's heart beat faster as Joey looked at him, his eyebrows raised, "You are?"
"We've gotta let Monica know," Chandler said simply. He waved his phone at them, "I'll do it now."
He pressed the numbers into his phone and pressed send, then slid the device back into his pocket.
A few minutes later, he listened to Phoebe update Joey with all the information that she'd already told him, which wasn't much.
He closed his eyes and thought about all the people in Ross's life that loved him, his kid, his family, and his friends. He had a complete circle.
There was a ping of jealousy in Chandler. If he was in the same situation, he didn't know who'd show up for him. He knew that Ross, Joey, Phoebe, and Rachel would, and his mom.
But Monica...probably not, not after everything that happened between them.
He sighed at that thought, shaking his head at himself. Had they got to the point of no return?
It sure felt like it.
He told her that he didn't know if they could remain friends, at least not now. It was too hard.
He felt his cell phone vibrate in his pocket. He stood up and looked over at Phoebe and Joey, "Hey guys," prompting their conversation to stop. Both looked over at him, "it's Richard." He flipped it open to answer, "Hello?"
"Oh, hi, I was just paged from this number?" Richard's voice came through the phone.
Chandler nodded, "Uh, yeah, Richard, it's Chandler," he said softly. He could practically hear Richard roll his eyes.
"Oh, hi. Is everything alright?"
"Um, well, no, not really," Chandler replied, "Uh, Ross was in a bad accident, and we've been trying to call Monica…"
"Her phone is off, what happened?" Richard asked.
Chandler rubbed his forehead, "Ah, well, details are kind of fuzzy," he sighed, "but um, he's not…he's not doing too well."
"What hospital?"
"Beth Israel," Chandler replied, rubbing his palm down his shirt.
"We'll be right there," Richard said, then the line clicked off.
Chandler shut his phone and looked over at Phoebe and Joey, who was already staring back at him, "He said they're um, they're on the way."
Phoebe nodded, "Thank you, Chandler."
Chandler half smiled at her, "Yeah, no problem."
He glanced at Joey, who gave him a reassuring nod. He did the right thing.
Monica needed to know. It didn't matter his feelings towards her or her feelings towards him.
Saturday, June 19, 1999 – 9:42 P.M.
Chandler watched as Jack and Judy left the lobby in search of some coffee. Judy was in a complete state of shock, and her husband was attempting to stay strong for both of them.
Carol and Susan sat on the other side of the lobby, talking with Phoebe and Joey. He heard Carol tell Phoebe that Ben was with her parents.
He felt bad for the little guy. He wondered what Carol and Susan told him, or if they told him anything. A 5-year-old would have a hard time seeing his father hooked up to machines, he knew that, but at the same time, he was sure that Ben would want to know what happened if Ross didn't...
He shook his head as he attempted to get thoughts like that out of his head. Ross would be okay. He had to believe that. He sat in the lobby chair with his hands tangled in his hair, his eyes shut.
Anytime he thought about Ben, he remembered the look on Monica's face as she took the baby from Ross right after he was born. The smile took over her beautiful face as she stared down at her new nephew and tears welled up in her eyes. She had wanted that so bad. A baby, a family, another baby.
He'd told her that day if they both weren't married by the time they were 40, that they should get together and have a baby for her. Even then, before he fell in love with her, he wanted to make her happy.
He was worried about Ross, but he was also worried about seeing her.
He knew that she would be worried sick, a basket case.
And he would probably want to hug her, comfort her, reassure her, and make sure she was going to be okay.
But that wasn't his job. It was Richard's job.
He'd been avoiding her, successfully. He hadn't seen them in almost two weeks. He pressed his lips together and shook his head, his thoughts going back to 8weeks ago when it all went wrong.
The weekend that surfaced feelings that he had tried for weeks before to hide.