Hi my lovelies, I hope you enjoy!
Wow, a short A/N! Who knew I could do that? :)
Don't forget about my wonderful Beta: Cynthia Salander, go show her some love. Review when you get to the end? Thanks for the LOVE!
Thursday, May 27, 1999 – 3:48 PM
"Hey man," Ross said when Chandler opened his hotel room door.
"Hey," Chandler said to Ross, then squatted down to Ben's level, "hey big man," he said with a grin and gave the five-year-old a high five. He stood back to his full form, "What's up?"
"I hate to do this to you, I know you're probably wanting to get out and do some more sightseeing," he said, his hands on Ben's shoulders, "but is there any way you could watch Ben for a couple of hours? Monica and Felicity are with Emily getting their dresses altered and I've got so many things to get done, and my parents aren't here yet..." Ross said with a groan, "Then the venue is a mess and Emily freaked out a little, but I think me and Monica managed to get that straightened out…"
Chandler waved at him to stop his ongoing list of problems, "no problem at all. I'm not really in the mood to sightsee, anyway," he said.
He'd gone to the Big Ben earlier in the day, but saw Monica and Richard there, admiring the site and when he saw them kiss, his gut clenched even more. He hadn't been in the mood the rest of the stops, not showing much interest at all, so much so that Joey suggested that he come back to the hotel.
Ross lifted an eyebrow, "Oh no, not you too," he said, "what's wrong?" When Chandler didn't answer immediately, Ross continued, "I've already had to fix the church to Emily's liking, and then the caterer called and Emily..."
"Ross!" Chandler called, stopping his rant again. He shook his head and waved his hand again, "Nothing is wrong," he said, "go handle your stuff, I've got the kid."
Ben grinned up at him and walked into the hotel room, standing next to Chandler. Ross squatted down, "Okay bud, you have fun with Uncle Chandler. I'll be back in a couple of hours."
Ben nodded and Ross leaned forward to hug him.
Ross stood and hit Chandler's arm, "Thanks, man."
"Yeah," he said and shut the door as Ross walked away. He turned back to the kid and ran to him, tickling him as he hoisted him in the air, "Let's see what you got in this book bag of fun!"
Thursday, May 27, 1999 – 6:28 PM
"Hey, Mon," Ross said and jogged to catch up with his sister in the hotel hallway.
He sighed, "I've got to go back to Emily's and have dinner with her aunt and uncle, they're insisting."
Monica made a face, "That doesn't sound too fun."
Ross rolled his eyes, "It's not going to be. And her Aunt Mildred hates kids, apparently, so I can't take Ben. I asked Chandler to watch him, but it's already been two hours and I don't want Chandler to be stuck in a hotel room all night when he's on vacation."
Monica nodded as Ross continued, "Do you and Richard have plans tonight?" Ross asked.
Monica rolled her eyes a little and swallowed, "No, he's with Dad and some other guys at a pub watching a soccer game."
Ross raised an eyebrow, "I didn't know he liked soccer."
She tilted her head, "He likes any sport where he can hang out, smoke cigars, and drink beer."
Ross nodded, "Ah, okay, got it." He sighed, "Will you do me a huge favor and go pick up Ben from Chandler? I just don't want to keep him in if he wants to maybe get out and meet a girl or something."
Monica felt her stomach flip at her brother's words. She didn't want Chandler out at a bar meeting some British girl.
She didn't want to imagine those soft lips of his on another woman's lips, on her shoulder, on her neck.
She moved her hands up and down her arms as chill bumps formed all over them.
"Did he say he wanted to meet someone?" She asked Ross.
Ross chuckled and stuck his hands in his pockets, "Well, no, but he's single, and he's in a new country. I just know what I would be doing if..."
"Okay, I get it..." she said, cutting him off, "I'll go pick up Ben," she said.
"Thank you so much," he said, then wrapped an arm around her back to hug her, "I hope I'll be back in a few hours."
"Ross, why don't I just keep him for the night? That way you can get all your stuff done and not have to worry about Ben."
"I couldn't ask you to do that, don't you and Richard want to spend time together? I mean you're in a romantic, foreign city…"
She rolled her eyes again, "Ross, stop. It's fine. There are two beds in my room, he can sleep on one of them."
He threw his arms around her and hugged her tightly, "Thank you so much, Mon! You're the best sister ever!" He pulled out his wallet, "Here's Emily's room key. Ben's suitcase is on my bed."
She nodded and took the plastic card, "Have fun with your new in-laws," Monica said, "I'm going to go get Ben."
Ross groaned and lifted his sister's hand to kiss the back of it, "Thanks again, Mon. I owe you one."
She swallowed as she walked away from him and towards his hotel room.
Chandler sat at the small round table in his hotel room, a green crayon in his hand as he colored with Ben.
He looked over at Ben's creation, lifting an eyebrow at his much neater creation than his own, "When did you get so good at this, bud? You're better than me!"
Ben giggled, "That's cause you gotta stay in the lines!"
"Oh, I do?" He asked, then leaned over and began to tickle him, "How about I just attack you with tickle monster instead?"
Ben wiggled and laughed as Chandler tickled him, "No, no, no!" He pleaded.
Ben stood from his chair and attacked Chandler, laughing as he wrapped his small arms around him. Chandler picked him up and fell on the bed with him, tickling him continuously.
The giggles could be heard through the hotel room door as Monica approached it. She smiled to herself, because she already knew what was going on in there. Ben and Chandler were wrestling.
She tried the handle and was surprised when it opened with ease. She stood in the doorframe and watched them, the smile on both of their faces made her heart swell.
When Chandler finally looked up at her, he lifted Ben again and put him back on the ground. He put on his deep voice, "Okay, congratulations on your defeat of the tickle monster."
"Aunt Monica!" Ben said, then ran up to her and jumped into her arms as Monica hoisted him in the air.
"Hey kiddo!" She said, squeezing him tightly, "Are you having fun with Uncle Chandler?" She asked excitedly.
"Yeah! Look! We colored and Uncle Chandler can't stay in the lines!"
She chuckled at him, then looked over his shoulder at Chandler, who smiled and shook his head, "Well show me what you colored!"
Ben got down from her arms and ran the few steps over to the table and then back to her, "It's a dinosaur!"
"Whoa! What kind is he?"
Ben went into an explanation of the Tyrannosaurus rex on the paper, and Chandler smiled as Monica feigned interest in all of the details. They all did the same thing with her brother.
"You did a great job!" She said when he finally finished, "When we get home, let's hang it on the refrigerator, okay?"
"Okay, you color one too!" He held up the coloring book.
She smiled at him, "Why don't you pick out a page for me? Make sure it's a girly dinosaur so I can color her pink!"
He giggled and ran back to the table, then began to look through the pages.
"Hey," she said to Chandler, a slight, nervous smile on her face. She hadn't really talked to him since they had got off the plane in the early morning hours.
"Hey," he replied softly and stuck his hands in his pockets, "whatcha doing here?" He asked. He hadn't meant for that to sound like he didn't want her there, but the way her face fell, he assumed that it was exactly how it sounded, "I mean, uh…"
She swallowed and cleared her throat nervously, interrupting him, "Ross asked me to pick up Ben," she said, "he didn't want to leave him with you all night in case you wanted…" She trailed off and cleared her throat again, "…to go out or something."
Chandler shrugged a shoulder, "Ah, it's fine. I didn't have any plans to go out," he said.
A wave of relief washed over her at the knowledge that no woman would be in his bed tonight.
"Aunt Monica, this one!" Ben said. Once again, Monica squat down to his level and took the book from his small hands.
"I like this one," she said, then flipped through a couple of pages, "But maybe there's one with some more trees around?" She turned some more, "Like this one! But this dinosaur can't be pink…" she pondered a few more of the pages, trying to decide which of the creatures could be pink, causing Ben to giggle.
Chandler stuck his hands in his pockets and stood back, watching them. That smile that took over her face any time she was with children made him tingle, like it always did. She loved babies, kids, and she was put on this earth to be a mother one day, he was positive about that.
Ben nodded enthusiastically and ran back to the table to complete his quest.
She stood to her full form again and crossed her arms, "Did you enjoy the sights today?"
He swallowed and nodded a little, "Yeah, it was okay," he said, then shrugged.
Ben gave up on his mission to find a girly dinosaur and ran over to Chandler, tugging on his jeans, "Uncle Chandler, can we watch the movie now?"
Chandler looked down at him to respond, but Monica squat down to his level instead, "Oh, no, sweetie," she said, "but why don't me and you go back to my room, and we'll watch the movie there, okay?"
Ben looked at Chandler with that look that he was sure made telling the child no extremely hard, "I want to watch with Uncle Chandler!" He whined.
Monica stood to her full form, "Ben, I don't think Uncle Chandler…"
"Mon," Chandler said, shaking his head at her, "it's okay."
She sighed, "Are you sure? Because I told Ross that I would take him."
"I promised him," he said softly, then shrugged a shoulder.
"Okay," she said, "well, could you drop him off at my room when it's over?" At Chandler's nod, she smiled slightly and ruffled Ben's hair, "I'll see you after the movie, okay? You're going to sleep over with me tonight while your dad gets ready for his big day on Saturday."
"I want to stay with Uncle Chandler," Ben said, holding onto Chandler's pants.
Monica got down to his level again, "Sweetie, there isn't room here," she said, "Uncle Joey is sleeping in the other bed."
Chandler squatted down too, "What if I come to Aunt Monica's room with you and read you a bedtime story and tuck you in?"
Ben grinned, "Okay!"
Chandler looked over and smiled at Monica, then turned to Ben again, "Now, run and go get comfy on Uncle Joey's bed and I'll turn the movie on."
Ben nodded and ran towards the bed, grabbing his toy on the way. The two adults stood up and Chandler cleared his throat.
Monica pressed her lips together. She always thought that when the day came, Chandler would be an awesome father.
Ben wasn't his child, but here he was, being so good with him, so patient, so understanding.
"I'll see you guys later," she said, her voice shaking slightly as she turned to leave his room.
"Aunt Monica look!" Ben said, holding up his toy dinosaur, "It's a long neck just like Littlefoot!"
Monica stopped and crossed her arms, smiling at her nephew, "Who's Littlefoot?" She asked.
Chandler smirked at her, "Uh oh."
"On the movie!" Ben said, pointing to the TV, "Come watch!"
Monica shook her head, "Oh, no honey, I'm gonna go..."
"You're never going to hear the end of it if you don't learn who Littlefoot is," Chandler told her.
He shrugged a shoulder, "Stay and hang out if you, you know, want to."
She shook her head tightly at him, and stepped closer, lowering her voice, "You said you needed space." She shut her eyes at the words that tasted like bile as they left her mouth, "I-I should respect that."
Chandler ran a hand through his hair, nodding at her slightly, "Yeah."
She swallowed, then nodded at him again, "I'm really going to try," she said brokenly, "to," she sighed, "to do that."
He nodded slowly, "Thanks, Mon."
"It's hard for me, though, Chandler," she said, then looked over his shoulder at Ben, lowering her voice again, "you know that, right?"
He looked down at the floor for a second, then back up into her gorgeous blue eyes, "I know," he whispered.
She pressed her lips together and cleared her throat, "Ben, I'll see you later, okay?"
Ben climbed off the bed then and ran over to her, pulling on her pants, "Aunt Monica, this is a three horn like Cera!" His small hand shoved the plastic toy towards her, holding it up to her proudly.
Monica smiled, "Oh cool!"
Ben grinned up at her pointed to the TV, "Come watch!"
Monica shook her head a little at him, then squat down to his level, "I'm gonna go back to my room, okay? Maybe you and me can watch it another time."
A sad look came over his face, "But I want you to watch with us."
"I know honey, but I…"
"Mon," Chandler interrupted, and she looked up at him. He let out a sigh, "Stay." Monica shook her head again at him, but he nodded, "Ben wants you to."
"Please?" Ben added to the guilt trip.
Monica felt her heart beat rapidly in her chest at the knowledge that she would be spending time alone with Chandler. She had done it hundreds of times before, but now, things were different. Completely different.
"Okay," she said as she stood to her full form and moved towards the bed behind Ben, who ran with excitement. She sat next to him on the bed and wrapped an arm around him, squeezing him into her side.
Chandler sat on the other side of him and pressed play on the remote.
About an hour of the movie had passed when she felt his eyes on her, again.
She looked down at her hands for a second and then back up at him.
"Hey," he whispered.
"Hey," she whispered back, then noticed how the colors from the screen lit up his already gorgeous blue eyes even more.
He looked down at her lips and she looked down at his.
"He's asleep," he said and nodded down towards Ben, "we should move him to your room," he said, and she nodded as a response.
"Ok," she whispered. He broke the stare between them yet again and moved his right hand to the other side of Ben to attempt the best way to pick him up without waking him. She watched him silently but then felt her pulse quicken when his arm accidentally brushed against hers.
"Sorry," he said awkwardly, then met her eyes again.
"No," she said, as a smirk formed on her face, "you're being ridiculous," she squeezed his fingers against hers and he looked down at their hands.
He leaned towards her a little, "Why is that?"
She leaned closer to him, "I don't want you to apologize to me when you touch me," she murmured, her voice barely audible, "you can touch me."
He studied the serious look on her face. What was she talking about? He didn't know, but the intensity of the moment and the look in her eyes had him desperately wanting to figure it out. He swallowed the lump that formed in his throat and reached out with his other hand to place it on her arm, "I can?"
A small gasp escaped her lips, then she licked them as she nodded, "Yes," she said breathlessly.
"But I probably shouldn't," he murmured, even as he moved his hand up her arm just a little.
She swallows nervously, "What if I want you to?"
He looks down at her lips, and she looks at his. She then swore he moved closer to her, so she leaned towards him too, both of them aware that Ben was still in between them.
The knock on the door startled them both, and he jolted and removed his hand from her quickly. She already missed his touch when he let go of her. He looked into her eyes again, then looked down at the bed at sleeping Ben before he stood and silently walked over to the door, "Hey Ross," he greeted.
"I've been looking all over for you guys," he said, his palm flat, "Mon, I thought you were taking Ben to your room?"
Monica stood from the bed and walked over to the two men, "I was, but Ben wanted me to watch a movie with him and Uncle Chandler," she nudged Chandler with her elbow, then crossed her arms, "so we just hung out here."
Ross sighed, "Chandler, I'm sorry man, I didn't intend for you to be kept up in your room all night long. I know you probably wanted to get out and meet some nice English women," he wiggled his eyebrows at his college roommate.
Chandler held up his hand and waved at Ross, "No, it's fine," he said, "you know I love that little guy. I like hanging out with him."
Monica swallowed nervously and glared at Ross, then made a mental note to stab her big brother in the eye with a pencil for suggesting over and over that he thought Chandler should be out looking for women.
She didn't want that.
It wasn't fair, and she knew it wasn't, but she couldn't make herself care. She didn't want Chandler to see anybody else.
"I'll take him back to my room," Ross replied, then walked past them and scooped Ben up easily into his arms. Monica passed Ross Ben's bookbag as he walked through the door, "Thank you guys so much for babysitting. You are both lifesavers."
"No problem," Monica said and watched as her brother left the room again with Ben still asleep on his shoulder.
"Oh, yeah, Mon," he turned back to her, "I saw Richard outside the bar next to the hotel. He told me to let you know that he wanted to finish the soccer game, which has about an hour left, then he'll be up. He's with Dad and some other British guys."
Monica felt her heart rate speed up again because if Richard was occupied for another hour, that meant she could have time alone with Chandler, and for reasons she couldn't understand, that's exactly what she wanted. "Okay, thank you." She said to Ross.
"Night guys," he whispered, attempting to keep his voice low so that he wouldn't wake Ben, "thanks again." He gave them a thumbs up and turned to leave them.
Monica nodded and shut the room door after her brother continued down the hall.
Ross didn't blink an eye when he left them together, alone in a hotel room, because they were best friends, had always been, and they were close, and it was normal.
Except now, it wasn't normal.
Chandler looked at her for just a second, then turned away. She watched him as he walked over to the DVD player and ejected the disc to put the DVD back in its case. He sat on the end of the bed and finally looked over at her again.
The tension was thick in the air, and she was sure that he noticed it just as much as she did.
She pressed her lips together, then took a step further into the room.
He ran a hand through his hair, "What do you guys have planned to see tomorrow?" He asked as he tried to break the silence between them. She wanted things back to normal between them, and that was the most normal thing he could think to ask her.
God, she thought, he was so damn sexy. He had a sort of boyish charm that was cute and so attractive to her, yet at the same time, he was a handsome, mature, reliable, honest man that she trusted with anything in her life. So did Ross, so did Joey, so did all of them.
She didn't even realize that she was staring at him so intently until he called her out on it, "Why are you looking at me like that?"
She swallowed and tried to shake herself out of it, "Like what?"
She hoped the staring sounded like an innocent mistake, but the way he stared back at her now, she doubted it.
"Like you are trying to figure out a complicated math problem that's written on my face," he smirked at his little joke, but she didn't. He looked away from her gaze as she took another step closer to him.
He broke the stare and suddenly busied himself by picking at a piece of lint on the comforter beneath him. He couldn't figure out her mood, and he started to feel increasingly uncomfortable. It wasn't like her not to laugh at his stupid jokes, even when it was this weird between them. Something was obviously on her mind.
She lifted a hand and moved a piece of hair away from her forehead, "I don't want to talk about tomorrow," she said, and when his eyes met hers again, she took two steps back to the door and flipped the deadbolt lock.
Her decision had been made.
"What are you doing?" He asked, his eyes now fixed on hers. She walked up to him and stood directly in front of him, his face pointed straight up as he gazed into her eyes, "Mon…" he said, but she silenced him when she pressed a finger to his lips.
"I know," she said because she did know. She knew exactly what he was about to say, and she knew no good would come of it. She ached for him to touch her, and she wanted him to relieve that ache more than anything else, consequences be damned. She brushed her finger lightly over his lips, "Let's not talk," she whispered.
He swallowed but nodded once and kept his mouth shut. She moved her finger when she was sure that he wouldn't say anything. She put her hands on his shoulders and lifted one leg onto the bed, then the other so that she was straddling him. She heard his breathing speed up and she gave him a closed smile as she lifted her hand and ran it through his brown hair, then returned it to his shoulder.
"I just think," she whispered, staring down into his eyes, "that we can do better things with our time alone rather than talk, don't you?"
She watched as he swallowed and put his arms behind him to help support both of them. He opened his mouth to say something, but remembered that she didn't want to talk, so he just nodded in response. Good God, she smelled good.
She slid her hands up his neck and to his face, then behind his ears, to the back of his head where she gripped his hair and pulled his face up to hers.
The shock she felt through her entire body when she kissed him only pushed her to want more. She opened his lips with hers and kissed him deeper, holding on to his head as she explored his mouth once again.
She let her lips linger on his, then fully leaned her body against him as she reached behind him and put her hands on top of his, "Touch me, Chandler," she said against his lips, "I want you to touch me."
He slowly moved one hand to her waist, then the other to higher on her body, right beside her ribcage. When she kissed him passionately again, he moved his hand beneath her shirt, his fingertips feeling her hot skin.
His hand traveled up more up her side, so she broke the kiss and backed up just slightly and quickly removed her t-shirt, then his too.
His answering sigh as he looked at her made her shiver again. His hands immediately began to stroke the newly exposed skin as he leaned up and kissed her again, then easily moved down her face, to her jawline, beneath her ear, onto her neck and collarbone.
His hands traveled up her back and to the back of her bra, where they began to work on her bra clasp. He got it undone and she moved her hips to grind against him again.
He grunted as a response and after he moved the straps off her shoulders, he wrapped his arms around her waist and stood up to turn them around. She gasped as he lay her down on the bed and slowly, purposely crawled over her.
He straddled her hips now and ran his hands slowly up her body, just like he did in Colorado, and she moaned as a response, "I love the way you touch me," she said, her voice barely a whisper.
He looked into her eyes again and good God almighty, if she thought she was attracted to him before, now it was multiplied by a thousand.
She lifted her trembling hands and ran them down his bare chest and to his belt buckle, then pulled on the leather to undo it.
He moved his hands from her body and put them on top of hers just before she unbuttoned his pants. He looked down at her, into her eyes, and leaned down to whisper in her ear, "Are you sure about this?" He asked.
It was the first words that he had spoken since her request before all of this started to not talk, but she loved the sound of his husky, breathless voice and wanted to hear it repeatedly.
"I'm sure," she answered him. She looked up into his uncertain eyes and knew that his conscience was the reason that he was questioning her and not that he didn't want her, because the bulge in his jeans was evidence of the opposite.
He sighed and slowly ran his hands down her sides, and she could tell he was having a serious debate in his head about whether or not to continue.
He squeezed her hips over the fabric of her jeans and shut his eyes. She sat up quickly and he opened his eyes again in shock, then hooked his arms beneath hers, his hands on her bare back. She kissed him briefly and moved to whisper in his ear, her lips grazing it as she spoke, "I want you, Chandler," she said breathlessly, "I only want you."
He groaned and moved his head back to kiss her, then used his body weight to push her back down on the bed. He slid his hand between them, down her body, to unbutton her jeans. "God, Monica," he said, his lips against hers, "I want you too."
She whimpered as he dove into another passionate, breathtaking kiss. He broke the kiss, but she pulled on his neck to kiss her again. He began to work on getting her jeans down and she wiggled her hips to help him.
She felt something shaking her, but she chalked it up to feeling his hands run up her bare leg, then up to her thigh.
The shaking continued, now even harder. "Mon," he breathed when he broke the kiss again.
She tried to ignore it and pulled on him harder to continue kissing him, but the shaking of her shoulder continued and grew more forceful.
"Mon, wake up," Chandler said, smirking at her when her eyes shot open, and she looked around frantically, trying to make sense of what was real and what wasn't.
Monica sat up quickly and felt her torso to make sure she still had clothes on her body. Chandler lifted an eyebrow and wondered what in the hell she could've been dreaming about. She took in and let out a deep breath, "What happened?"
He chuckled once, "You fell asleep," he said, as if it was obvious, then nodded down to the sleeping child between them, "you both did."
Monica looked down at Ben and then back up at him, "I thought Ross came and got him?"
He turned his head in confusion, "What? When?"
Monica furrowed her eyebrows together, then rubbed her eyes, realizing that all of what wonderfully happened between her and him was in fact, a dream.
He was still staring at her in confusion, so she shook her head, "Never mind," she finally said, "I dreamt that Ross came and picked up Ben."
He lifted an eyebrow at her, "What else happened?" He asked, only because he couldn't stop himself.
She snapped her eyes to his, now panicked and wondering whether she moaned or said his name while she dreamed about him, "Wh-why do you ask that?" She asked cautiously.
His shoulder lifted and fell, "Just curious," he said, watching as she continued to move around nervously.
"Did I say something?" She asked worriedly, her eyes still big.
"I think you said, 'I'm sure'," he said, his eyebrows furrowed, "but it was hard to understand you."
"Oh," she said softly and let out a breath.
"What were you dreaming about?"
She looked at him and swallowed nervously, now having a mental debate of her own as to whether or not to tell him. "Uh, nothing," she finally decided, then broke eye contact with him.
"Now you've got me wondering what you're so sure about," he said, a small smirk still on his face.
"It was nothing," she said again and attempted to smile the blush that came to her cheeks away.
He chuckled again and pointed down at Ben, "Come on, we should probably get him back to your room."
She let out a sigh and nodded, "Hey, uh, thanks for letting me hang out with you guys."
Chandler pressed his lips together for a second, "Of course, no need to thank me."
Monica glanced down at her nephew and smiled, then back up at Chandler, "At least I know who Littlefoot is now," she murmured.
He grinned a little at that, "Yes you do," he tapped Ben's arm, "your nephew would be proud."
Monica swallowed as she calculated the risk of leaning over Ben's head and pressing her lips to his. She wondered if he was thinking the same thing from the look on his face, but he turned away before the staring contest happened between them again.
"I'll uh," he said, clearing his throat, "I'll carry him back to your room," he said softly.
"Ok," she whispered and sat up to put her shoes back on as he did the same.
She watched him as he carefully picked Ben up, who only adjusted his head on Chandler's shoulder, but didn't wake up.
There her brain went again, drawing up an image of Chandler as a father, carrying a child to his or her bed, then tucking him or her in, and kissing his or her forehead.
She rolled her eyes at herself as she collected Ben's bookbag, then hurried to open the door for him and walked next to him as they made their way down the hall to her hotel room.
Chandler swallowed nervously as she pulled her key out and opened the door. He hoped that Richard wouldn't be on the other side.
Relief took over him when she opened the door and the room was dark. Monica turned on the lamp and Chandler lifted an eyebrow to silently ask which bed. She nodded to the one to her left and moved to let down the covers. "You wanna try to change him into his pajamas?" He asked softly.
She pondered that for a second, but shook her head, "No, he's fine. Let him sleep. He didn't get much rest today and we got in late last night," she said. Chandler nodded as he carefully put Ben down on the bed and tucked him in.
He turned and looked at her, and God, when did he become so attractive? Why did her body react to him with just a look?
He shifted uncomfortably on his feet and stuck his hands in his pockets, "I should go," he said, and looked at her again before he turned and headed towards the door.
She followed, and when they got to the door, both of them turned to watch Ben as he slept soundly, "That little guy is crazy about you, you know?"
Chandler glanced over at her and smiled at that, "Ah, well, he's a great kid."
"You are so good with him," she said and placed a hand on his arm, "you'll be a great father someday, Chandler." He aimed a skeptical look at her, so she tilted her head back at him and squeezed his arm, "You will."
He shrugged and turned his head to look down at her hand, her thumb now rubbing his forearm slightly, "Honestly, I don't see it happening for me," he murmured, "but I like to be Uncle Chandler." He moved his hands to his pockets so that her hand would lose contact with his arm.
"Hey, don't say that," she argued softly, "it'll happen for you."
He shrugged, "I don't think so," he said, then met her eyes again.
"I know it will," she said definitively.
He licked his lips, sighed and cleared his throat, "I probably need to go," he said softly.
"Ok," she nodded at him, "thank you for carrying him down here."
"Oh, no problem," he answered, and gave her a small, closed smile.
"And I um," she sighed, "I enjoyed getting to hang out with you tonight. It almost felt normal again."
He nodded at her slowly, "Yeah," he said softly.
She stepped closer to him, "I miss it," she replied.
He looked down at the floor and kept his hands in his pockets so that he wouldn't touch her, "I miss it too, but…" he sighed and looked up at her as she stepped even closer to him.
"But what?" She asked.
He took a step backwards, "Nothing, never mind," he said, and put his hand on the doorknob.
She sighed and put her hand on top of his to stop him, "I don't think you understand what you mean to me, Chandler."
He nodded, "Yeah, I do," his voice was a tad sharper, "I'm your friend." He moved his hand away from the doorknob again, causing her hand to drop.
She shook her head again, "It's more than that."
"Well, that's all it'll ever be," he said louder, then shook his head, "Look, I know this is all my fault, and I'm sorry I did this to us," he added.
"What?"
"You were right," he said, and shut his eyes for a second, "us sleeping together was a mistake," his voice was shaking, "I wanted it, I was sad, and I took advantage of you and I…"
She grabbed his hand and shook her head again. She squeezed it and stepped another step closer to him, "No," she told him quickly, "stop saying that. You did not take advantage of me, because I wanted it too." He looked at her, his blue eyes sparkling even in the dim light. She swallowed nervously as she continued, "I wanted it," she confirmed, then swallowed, "I wanted you, and the sex with you was wonderful."
"It was?" He asked, surprised to hear that from her.
She nodded, "Besides the circumstances with your grandmother, of course, yes," she whispered, "you were loving and passionate, and it was you and me," she whispered, "sex with your best friend should have been awkward, but, it wasn't."
His heart rate sped up and he looked down at her lips, just as she looked down at his. His mouth began to water as he wanted to taste her mouth again so badly.
"But you don't want me now," he said softly, trying to bring himself back to reality before he leaned down and kissed her like he desperately wanted to.
"I never said…" she started, but he interrupted her.
"It doesn't matter what you said or didn't say."
"Why do you keep saying that?" She asked hotly, "This matters! We matter!"
He shook his head, his broken heart and frustration with her took over him, "I'm not gonna do this," he whispered.
She looked at him and tears pooled in her eyes, "Do what?"
"Monica, you have Richard," he said, his voice stern, but not loud. He didn't want to wake Ben. He dropped her hand, let out a breath, and pinched the bridge of his nose.
She shut her eyes and took a step back from him. She couldn't even be mad at him because he was right. He was absolutely right.
He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, "I should go," he said again.
"Yeah," she agreed as she nodded at him, licked her lips, and stuck her hands in her pockets, "okay."
He looked at her again as he opened the door, then left without another word.
The elevator down at the end of the hall dinged and Chandler looked up just as Richard stepped from it.
Richard narrowed his eyes at him as he approached Chandler, "Hey," he said.
"Hey," Chandler replied.
Richard glanced at his hotel room door where Chandler appeared to be coming from, "Little late for a stroll, isn't it?"
Chandler scoffed and shook his head, "I wasn't exactly out for a stroll," he told him, "I was just dropping Ben off."
Richard looked toward his and Monica's hotel room door, then back at the younger man, "Oh?"
Chandler rolled his eyes. He felt like he was explaining things to a father as if he'd just dropped his date off, "Yes. He fell asleep in my room while we were watching a movie, and I moved him to your room."
"Oh, so Ben is in our room?" Richard asked, clearly unaware of the plans that had been made between Ross and Monica.
Chandler nodded and scratched the back of his head, "Yeah." He couldn't believe Richard would go out with his buddies and hang out at a bar all night watching a soccer game in London rather than spend time with Monica.
"Oh, all right," Richard said, "well, goodnight then."
"Night," Chandler said, then turned and walked further down the hallway, rolling his eyes.
He rubbed his hands over his face after he went into his hotel room, letting his head knock on the door behind him.
His mind was a whirlwind.