Chapter ten – This is how I see you
Hermione found herself in a very awkward situation after the events of the previous days. She felt extremely uncomfortable after what had happended between Sirius and herself after his successful transformation in his old Animagus form, but on the other hand she wanted to continue their meetings, because she simply could not let him down now after they were getting so close to the crucial points of his story. But to be able to go on seeing Sirius and talking to him in this very intimate way, they needed to feel comfortable around each other.
So, it was like a silent agreement, they never spoke of what they had nearly done and Hermione decided that their weak moment had only been due to the amount of time they were spending toghether. She told herelf that no pair of persons (she carefully avoided the term "couple"), who had gone so close as they had, would have been able to act rationally all the time. It had simply been a misunderstanding and she could not possibly have longed for Sirius to kiss her, it was just the situation that got the better of her, it would have happened with any guy.
But a small voice in the back of her head kept saying that she was in fact very close to both Harry and Ron and she had never wished for any one of them to kiss her, no matter what situation they had been in. At this moment, Hermione usually busied herself with something in order to make the voice shut up.
Sirius on the other hand was not as successful as Hermione in explaining his feelings to himself. In fact, it had been Remus who had ruined this for him. Remus, who had accused him of fancying the girl and who seemed to have a scaringly good idea of how his old friend's mind was working whenever women were concerned. Sirius found Remus' word echoing in his head more than once and every time he found it harder to deny that he actually felt something for Hermione that was way beyond gratitude. He caught himself watching her from time to time, he liked to be around her during the day and longed for her coming to him at night. She was making him feel better than he had done in ages and he found himself thinking more and more that he was not willing to give this up.
What if he was fancying her? After all, this was no wonder, she was intelligent and pretty and unusually kind. Sirius thought almost defiantly that it was not his fault if Remus disapproved of him liking Hermione, it was not his business after all, he did not need to justify his feelings to Remus Lupin.
"But someday, you will have to justify them to Hermione and what will she think if a man who could be her father tells her that he is in love with her?" A voice that was unmistakably ressembling Remus' was whispering in his mind. "Shut up!" Sirius said gruffily. But yes, what would she think if he told her? And how would she feel if he asked her to do something that would upset Harry even more than what they were doing already? Sirius sighed.
No, there was no way of telling her, but, then there was another voice in his head, sounding much more like his own: "It would not hurt to loosen up a little, would it? Nobody could request that from now on we act like we were nothing but aquaintances. Where is the point in being so tense? There is nothing wrong with her being my friend. And a very charming too." Sirius grinned. Remus had a point, he had a soft spot when it came to girls, only to special girls, of course.
Remus yawned widely and stumbled down the staircase in the morning. He was very tired after another long night spent over countless Ministry documents. He longed for coffee and a good share of Molly Weasley's excellent breakfast. Then he suddenly remembered that Molly was not there this morning due to some errands she had to make, given that the beginning of the Hogarts term was drawing nearer.
Suddenly, he heared loud voices from the kitchen. Laughter and bickering mixed into a joyful cacophony.
"There is nothing wrong with Muggle cooking, Sirius! The food is just as good as the one you make magically."
"Maybe, but where is the point in making an effort chopping and stirring, while you can just lean back and have the kitchen do everything on it's own?"
"Well, Mister, I thought it would be fun to make breakfast the old-fashioned way, like I know it from home. And I actually expected you to be polite enough to help for once!"
When Remus enterd the kitchen, a grinning Sirius, hanging lazily in his chair, came into view. He was wearing jeans and a dark blue T-shirt, his dark hair was falling into his eyes as he watched Hermione, who stood, arms folded, in front of him. Sirius looked cheerful, alive and a lot like the playful ladies-man Remus had used to know at school. Sirius didn't seem to pay much attention to what she wanted him to do, but even more to the girl herself, as she was standing there and Remus saw at once why. Hermione was wearing a knee-long jeans-skirt and a loose white shirt of a thin, beautifully falling material. It left a good part of her soft shoulders and graceful collarbones uncovered and brought out her female figure perfectly. Remus suddenly became aware of how se had changed since he had last really looked at her. She was a young woman now, although he had never been that aware of her female aura and beauty. Her wild hair was tied into an untidy bun at the back of her head, leaving her long neck uncovered. Remus stared at Hermione for a few seconds, before he became aware of what he was doing. He looked away very quickly. By now, Hermione was scowling at Sirius, although Remus thought he saw a tiny little gliter in her eyes that didn't seem to fit her scowl at all. Appearantly, Hermione had decided to make breakfast the "Muggle way" and with her being Hermione there was no point in arguing, as she would stick to her decision, even if that menat that breakfast would be served at dinner time. Remus saw slices of tomatos, scrambled eggs in a large pan, toast, orange juice and, on the table in front of Sirius, bacon waiting to be chopped. Sirius however didn't seem to be willing to help Hermione and was teasing her with his jokes.
"Hermione, come on, I sure do know that you are perfectly capable to make breakfast, but why don't we give up this breakfast-the-Muggle-way-project and carry on like we're used to?"
At this point, Hermione drew out her wand in one fluent, elegant movement and pointed it at Sirius.
"What, I thought we weren't supposed to use magic on the breakfast?" he exclaimed.
"I'm not planning to jinx the breakfast, lazy-bone. If you don't want to help me, I'll make you." Her eyes flashed dangerously as she looked at Sirius. Her voice was cool and steady, but there was a certain playful (flirtive? Remus thought) note in it. Sirius sat still for a moment, then he rose from his chair and approached her slowly: "You wouldn't dare to." His eyes were narrowed, but a smile was playing around his lips.
Hermione didn't move until he was so close that her wandtip nearly touched his chest. "Try me." She whispered, not taking her eyes from his.
Remus coughed, making the pair of them look at him. He raised his eyebrows questioningly and Sirius said: "Ah, finally, someone in his right mind! Please Remus, help me. This young lady here has the weird idea of wanting to pretend we were Muggles. And now she is threatening me, look at her, she's dangerous. Help me bring her to her senses, will you?"
Remus gave Sirius a long look, then he said to Hermione: "Breakfast the Muggle way? A charming idea, Hermione, tell me what I can do." She grinned at him and replied: "This bacon here is waiting to be chopped for half an hour. If you could be so kind?" and to Sirius: "You can sit down over there, I have a competent helper now, thank you."
Sirius fell into his chair, mockingly shaking his head and muttering something about "Madness" and "Blood-Traitors". His gaze however, never left Hermione, who had just given him a small wink as Remus had managed to knock the orange juice over the bacon.
That evening, the house was buzzing of excitement. Mr. Weasley had been given six tickets to the most famous wizard theatre in London by the Ministry. He was of course taking his wife, but had also decided that the children, as he expressed it, needed some cultural experience. So the four spare tickets had been given to Ron and Ginny and to Harry and Hermione who were both very keen on visiting the famous theatre. But visiting such a fancy event meant having to dress fancyly. Tonks and Kingsley were also coming to the theatre and so Ginny, Tonks and Hermione had spent a good deal of the afternoon in Ginny's and Hermione's room, dresing up and getting ready. Hermione had discoveredin shock that her old dress robes from her fourth year didn't fit her any more, as she had become a lot more curvy since then. So the girls had met one afternoon in Diagon Alley to shop for new dress robes. Tonks had lead them into much hipper places than Madame Malkin's and so Hermione had new dress robes now, although she was not at all sure about them. Sure, Ginny and Tonks had reasured her that she was looking gorgeous, even though it was not her usual look. Hermione had never even thought that she was having a special look, but the comment had made her even more insecure. She was standing alone in front of the mirror in her room, Tonks and Ginny being in the bathroom upstairs to decide about Tonk's haircolour and make-up. Hermione eyed herself and sighed. She needed someone who would tell her the truth about this dress. And not a girl, but a guy who was able to stimate whether this was to much. Someone with a fashion sense and someone who would not lie to her out of politeness. "Sirius." She said. She drew a bathrobe around her and marched towards his room.
Sirius was reading on his bed when he heared a knock on the door. "Come in!" Nothing. "Come in, I said!" He shouted. The door opened the tiniest krack and heared Hermione's vioce say: "Sirius, I need your advice about something. Listen, just come over to my room in one minute and tell me what you think."
"Wha-? Hermione?" But he already heared her door close.
Exactly one minute later, Sirius knocked on Hermione's door.
"Come in." The room was empty, except the pandemonium of different clothes, make-up, brushes, shawls, bags and shoes that covered a good deal of the beds and the floor. "Major dress-up disaster." Sirius grinned to himself. He didn't have a clue what this was about, until it dawned to him: The theatre, it was tonight, of course!
"Hermione?" He asked into the empty room.
"I'm here." It came out of the bathroom door. "But don't come in, I'll come out." She said, as she heared him approach the door. "Just, just sit down and tell me what you think."
"Think about what?" Sirius asked, heaving away a pile of dangerously flashy clothes ("Tonks!" he grinned. He loved the experimental style of his cousin, although with girls whose hair wasn't bubble-gum pink, he preferred something more classy).
"This sounds weird now, but I need you to tell me what you think about my dress for tonight."
"What? But, why do you ask me and not Tonks or Ginny? They know better about that stuff, Hermione."
"Because they would never, ever say that the dress look terrible or something, they would make up something about 'Brings out your ankles' just to be polite. No, Sirius, I need someone with taste about, about – er – dresses." Hermione sounded very insecure.
Sirius drew up his eyebrows: "I don't know much about the latest fashion, but I sure know what I like on a woman, if that's what you mean."
"Er – yes, that's exactly what I need!" Hermione scowled at herself in the bathroom mirror. Why was she so nervous about this? She eyed her reflection, that looked so unknown and muttered "Pathetic!" Why did she have to be so daring in her choice of dress? Why couldn't she just stick to the more conservative dresses? 'Because you thought about how HE looks at you when you chose this.' teased a little voice in her head. She took a deep breath and said: "Sirius? I have only one wish: Please be honest to me! I know you would never lie to me out of politeness."
Sirius smiled about how serious she was taking this: "Hermione, come on out, you'll be leaving in half an hour. Of course I would not lie to you, but I'm sure there'll be not need t… Oh my…" He choked. The bathroom door had just opened and Hermione had taken a few steps into the room. Sirius helt his breath – she looked stunning. The dress was made of black satin, it was a bit over kneelong. With it, she was wearing classy, black leather pumps, rather high and pointed, but elegant and sexy, her legs were delicately tanned. A bit of fine black lace showed at the seam and at the rather deep cleavage of the dress. The dress lay tightly around her waist and brought out her curves beautifully. From her hips down, it became wider and fell smoothly over her knees. Hermione had tied up her hair into an elegant chignon, a single curl fell over her forehead. She was wearing decent make-up, elegant smokey-eyes and a shimmer of gold on her lips. Her high cheekbones shone slighly with a touch of gold-brown rouge. Now, Hermione was looking at Sirius anxiously. "What do you think?"
His voice was suddenly hoarse "Beautiful." He could not take his eyes of her, his breath was going slightly faster "Hermione, you have the elegance of a true lady, I – I don't know what to say, you lost me for words."
Hermione couldn't help but stare at him. She had never been more aware of his eyes, as they seemed to follow every trace of her body, just to sink into hers again. "Don't you think, it's a bit much? I mean, this is so not me, I hardly recognise myself when I look into the mirror."
"Hermione, you are beautiful." Sirius got up and went over to her. "I want to show you something." He gently steered her to the large mirror on the girls' closet.
There they were, Sirius standing behing Hermione holding her shoulders and her gaze in the mirror.
"Look at you, this is you. This is how I see you every day. The dress and the shoes and the make-up that's just now, but the woman you see there, she is who I see, everytime I look at you."
"Sirius…" Now it was Hermione's turn to be lost for words. His words, his look, his true admiration all washed over her like an almighty wave. She wanted this moment to last forever. She didn't need any theatre if she could just be with Sirius. For a moment she just watched what she saw. Him and her, toghether, looking into each other's eyes, his hands so strong and gentle on her shoulders. "So, you wouldn't change anything?" She asked.
Sirius smiled: "Not a thing." But then suddenly he narrowed his eyes and pursed his lips. "Well yes, there is one thing. Do you trust me?"
Hermione nodded. Sirius lifted his hands from her shoulders and pulled out the hairpins holding her chignon. At once, full wild curls fell over her shoulders, where they lay dark brown and shining, adding a new sexy and untamed aspect to the picture.
Sirius smiled at the effect and said: "Perfect. You will stun them all, and you don't even need your wand for that."
Hermione grinned at him, relieved and happy.
His voice was hoarse again, deep and seductive. "No, really, Hermione, I wish I could accompany you tonight, I envy Harry. Or Ron? Who are you going with?"
"Harry. He couldn't pluck up the courage to ask Ginny, so we chose the less complicate solution." Suddenly she found it hard to look him into the eyes, fearing that Sirius would see how much she would have liked him to take her out. He seemed to be thinking along the same lines, but didn't want to hide it at all.
"Let me at least lead you downstairs. You have to leave in ten minutes." He broke his gaze and turned to her, his arm ready for her to take it.
Hermione smiled and placed her hand onto it. Toghether, they left the room, making a stunning entrance downstairs, where everybody was waiting (except for Tonks who had decided on red at last minute and needed to adjust her make-up).
It was a wonderful night, everybody was happy and outgoing, but Hermione caught herself not really following the play or the comments of the others in the break, because she was still feeling those hands on her shoulders.
It took her long before she could sleep that night and her dreams were haunted by grey eyes and pictures of Sirius and her in the mirror, Sirius' hands occasionally leaving her shoulders and travelling towards the zipper of her dress.
At breakfast next morning, Hermione watched Sirius chat with Harry about the theatre and their evening, she watched his face and his hands as he laughed and gestured. And the little voice started to tease again 'You wouldn't have turned him down last night if he had asked you to go out with him or to do other things with him, things you dreamed about last night, eh?' And Hermione closed her eyes, whispering: "No. No, I wouldn't have turned you down, I would have gone with you Sirius and I would today."