"You're joking right?" Tony asked, his voice cracking.

Ziva's eyes went wide and she shook her head. "I wish I were."

Tony felt the room slide out of focus around him. Blood throbbed in his ears so forcefully it hurt. His heart beat fast enough to take flight and zoom out of his chest. His palms oozed sweat. She slept with Gibbs. How could she do it? How could she keep this from me? How could Gibbs break his own rule? The plague had felt better than this emotional pain.

He grunted his disgust. Swiftly he released his hold on her and strode into their bedroom. Ziva followed, trotting to keep up with him. He slammed the door behind them.

"Please let me explain." Ziva said, her frustration evident.

Tony whirled around to face her, his arms raised in a defensive, 'Stop.' "Not now Ziva." he shouted. His eyes cast wildly about the room. He grabbed the nearest object –a lamp- and threw it. It hit the wall and broke in a shower of ceramic bits.

"Stop it. You're making me nervous." Ziva words came fast and clipped. Tony's crazy behaviour scared her. Knowing that she was the source of his pain made it worse. She'd been in mortal peril so many times in her life she'd lost count. Yet somehow, this was the scariest thing she'd ever been part of. "Will you let me explain?"

"Give me a minute." Tony grunted. He sat down on the edge of the bed feeling completely drained. He lowered his head to his hands. Sometimes you are so damn frustrating Ziva David.

Tony couldn't bring himself to look at Ziva. He was surprised with himself and just a bit embarrassed by his outburst. He was always patient, confident and able to stay cool no matter what. Ziva's confession made him see red. Tony couldn't remember ever acting so irrationally. Then again, he couldn't remember actually caring about someone as much as he did Ziva.

He wanted to talk to her, but was afraid of what he might say. He let his thoughts run rampant through his head. I am so angry right now it's scary. I'm angry you betrayed me. I'm angry for all the sneaking around we've done. I'm angry Gibbs broke his own rule. Most of all I'm angry you didn't trust me from the start. I know there are secrets in your life that you will never share with me but this, this I should have known

Ziva knelt on the floor in front of Tony, wedging herself between his parted knees. Hugging him as tightly as she could she nuzzled his neck in supplication. Tony could feel a slight tremble to her body. An animalistic side of him wanted to make love to her right there in an act of possession. He made himself push the thought away. She'd never go for it and he'd resent himself in the end.

Ziva spoke slowly and softly. "I'm sorry. I should have told you from the start but we thought it best to keep quiet." She continued, keeping her emotions in check. "It wasn't planned, one thing led to another and before I knew it I was naked on the living room rug." She paused, the memories from that surreal night crowding her mind. If she thought about it she could still feel Gibbs against her skin. How do I explain this?

She placed her forehead against Tony's. He let out a low sigh. Ziva said. "You need to know it wasn't about lust or love at all. We both needed to let go of someone we never got a chance to say good- bye to." She tipped her head back to look him in the face. "It was…" She broke off as she searched for the word. "Comforting."

For a long time the silence was the loudest noise in the room. Tony sat lost in thought. After Kate died suddenly every woman he made love to had her face. More than one had left in a huff after being called Kate in the throes of lovemaking. Then one night with a spectacular brunette he'd shouted " Ziva!" It netted him a knee to the groin along with realization that he wanted her bad.

It struck him that there was only one difference between him and his dates and Ziva and Gibbs. Ziva and Gibbs had both understood the purpose of their lovemaking. It had been a consensual release. To his surprise he felt his anger with her ebb.

Ziva broke. Tears sprang in her eyes. She blinked them back, determined not to cry. Her voice shook. "Go ahead and be angry, but just say something."

Tony looked at her tenderly and wiped her tears with his thumb. "Comfort gave you rug burns?"

She laughed. Her wise-ass partner was back. She responded, "No, hot and heavy gave me rug burns."

"So…" Tony wanted to ask the question but couldn't get it out. "So how…."

"I didn't exactly pull out my ruler." Ziva retorted employing her 'I can't believe you' look.

He laughed uncomfortably. "That's not what I meant." Tony wanted to ask Do I have competition? That's all I want to know. "That's not what I was going to ask. Compared…"

"I'm not comparing the two of you if that's what you want. It's pears and bananas." She snapped.

"Apples and oranges?" he offered teasingly.

Ziva ignored him. When she spoke she paused at the end of each sentence. "It was about saying goodbye. It's over. I wouldn't take it back because it helped me move on with my life."

Tony nodded. He could understand. "Please tell me there was drinking involved." He said only half joking.

"About a bottle of red wine each." Ziva said truthfully. "Look Tony, I'm not sorry I did it but I am sorry I didn't tell you about it until now."

"I understand. I understand but I don't like it." Tony allowed himself a small kiss on her forehead. He wasn't sure where they stood.

Ziva sat beside him and rested her head on his shoulder. "I'm not asking you to like it. I'm just asking you to forgive me." She said, her voice calm and steady.

"I do forgive you." And he did. He loved her. He knew that their life together would have a great many bumps in the road. There was no and never would be any smooth sailing with Ziva. He had to accept it or move on.

"I'm sorry I've hurt you." She said. It was an unusual feeling for her.

"How sorry?" Tony turned and gave her a light kiss, letting his lips linger on hers before flashing her his full on smile.

"Really sorry." Ziva's mouth was a whisper away from his. She smelled sweet. He wanted to taste her and feel her. Most of all he wanted to be reassured.

"Show me." He said, his voice low, just enough for her to hear.

Ziva pounced on him with low growl, knocking him flat on his back. She kissed him, making love to him with her mouth. Slowly she guided his hands to her breasts. "Be gentle."

"I will." He panted. Accidentally he grazed her chest and she winced.

"I said gentle Tony." She wheezed.

"Sorry." He said, kissing her breast.

"Ouch!" She stopped and sat back on her heels. She looked intensely at him, lips full and pink. "Just lay still like a good boy and let me have my way, okay?" she purred.

"I can live with that." He gave a low laugh before she covered his mouth again.

XXXX

Abby Sciuto stuck her head in the wastebasket for the fifth time that afternoon. Who would have thought crackers would come back to haunt me? She lurched forward and vomited. That's better.

She set the wastebasket back in place and checked her computer. It whirred happily as it ran Ziva's attacker's DNA through CODUS. She heard a footfall behind her and turned to find McGee.

"Did you get my drink?" She asked, bounding over to him. She moved fast despite her heavy boots.

"Kiwi vanilla slushie just like you asked. Sure you don't want a Kaff Pow?" He asked, confused.

"I'm sure." She said. She accepted the drink and gulped it with relish.

"Abby, you don't think…" McGee's voiced trailed off.

"I don't think. I know." Abby said smiling. She stepped forward to hug him. "Congratulations Dad," She said giving him a throaty kiss.

Light headed McGee returned her kiss until his eye caught the computer display. It had come to rest on its result. He pulled away from Abby. "Oh Crap!"

"Excuse me?" She asked clearly pissed off.

McGee grabbed her shoulders and turned her around to show her the results from CODUS.

"Oh crap is right." Abby said. "We've gotta call Ziva and Tony."

XXXXX

"Have anything else you want to confess?" Tony asked, lazily drawing circles with his finger on Ziva's abdomen. He lay on his side, looking over her naked body. He never turned down an opportunity to enjoy the sight of her. Ziva snuggled along side him on her back, her hands on her ribs.

"Not right now." Ziva said. "I don't think I'll be able to walk straight after this."

Tony flashed her his mega watt smile and she felt herself melt. If only she had the energy.

The phone on her nightstand chirped. Annoyed Ziva answered it.

"Hey-Ziva?" came Abby's strained voice.

"Yes Abby?"

"Is Tony with you?"

"Yes. You want to talk to him?" Ziva looked at Tony and mouthed, 'Abby.'

"No. I just wanted to make sure you weren't alone. I ran your attacker's fingerprints through AFIS and I got a hit- a guy by the name of Adam David." Abby said.

"That's good. Maybe we can get out of here." Ziva answered excitedly.

"I doubt it. I ran his DNA through CODUS. I didn't get a hit per say but there's something you have to know. You have 13 alleleles in common with him." Abby stated.

"What are you trying to tell me Abby?" Ziva asked, not yet able to believe her.

On the other end of the line she heard Abby take a deep breath. "I'm trying to tell you that the jerk who tried to kill you is your half brother."

XXXXXX

Better? Are we happier now? What do you think? Don't forget to review. I always have the ending written first but reviews do influence me. Jeanne