Once again the usual disclaimer. I don't own these guys, I'm not making money off of them. Okay, I made up Rebekah but her last name is appropriated from Hanah Senesh.
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Pale and bloodless as a vampire, Tony lay on a slab in autopsy covered from the waist down by a sheet. The frigid cold of the table cramped his muscles uncomfortably.Above him, McGee snapped pictures of his 'corpse.' Thanks to Abby he looked as though he'd been shot in the chest. She'd even faked the Y incision of his Autopsy.
"Hey Abbs, how'd you know how to do this?" Tony asked.
"I have a frien- Ulk." Abby covered her mouth and dashed to the stainless steel industrial sink. She stuck her head in and threw up.
"You gonna be okay Abbs? That's the third time this hour." Tony propped himself up on his elbow and studied her. Abby didn't seem as peppy as usual. She looked sleepy and her eyes were bloodshot. Come to think of it, McGee looked a little queasy too.
"I'm Fine." Abby said wiping her mouth.
"So why are we re-faking your death?" McGee asked Tony. "The ride in the body bag wasn't fun enough for you?'
Tony lay down and let out his breath. He responded in the familiar 'you're an idiot McGee' tone. "Because Ziva's femme fatale friend needs proof of the kill to hand to her contact. We need my picture on a slab in the morgue."
"Don't forget the finger." Abby's face loomed into view. "Hold your breath for the shot Tony. Corpses don't breath."
McGee snapped a close up of Tony's hand. Later, through the magic of photo shop he would make it appear that his corpse was missing a finger. "So let's get this straight. Some nameless nefarious group operating out of DC wants to kill you, and Ziva almost died at the hands of a half brother she didn't know she had."
"Yes." Tony said. Why? Because I'm in love with a crazy woman with an even crazier family! Heaven help us we had better never have kids. They'd be cute, but oh, so deadly.
McGee lowered his camera and shook his head. "I'm so confused."
"Just now you're confused Probie? I'm impressed." Tony craned his head in the direction of the door. Ziva was the only woman he knew who could get ready in five minutes flat and she had disappeared an hour ago. He couldn't imagine what was keeping her.
"Stay still Tony. You're supposed to be dead." Abby scolded.
Obediently Tony settled back down and stared at the ceiling. Ziva owes me big time for this. Wait. There's not enough sex in the world to make up for this.
He heard Gibbs enter autopsy and approach the slab. He swallowed a swig of coffee before speaking. "How far along are you Abbs?"
Abby was hovering over Tony. Her eyes went as wide as goose eggs and she swallowed hard. "About three months."
Holy Crap. Tony sat bolt upright as though he'd been shocked. He looked around the room. Did I hear right? Is she pregnant? He glanced at McGee. He looked pasty and light headed. He looked at Gibbs. The man of steel looked like he'd just taken a sucker punch. "I was talking about the photos." Gibbs said, staring at Abby with laser bright eyes.
"I was talking about my bun in the oven." Abby said meeting his gaze levelly.
"And the father is?" Gibbs asked, resting a hand on Abby's shoulder.
"I'm not going to tell until I'm sure you're not going to fit him with cement shoes and use him as an anchor on your boat." Abby retorted.
"That's the least of his worries." Gibbs replied. His cell phone rang, and he snapped it open. "Gibbs." He listened for a moment before slamming the phone shut with more force than necessary. "I'm going to MTAC," He said and hurried out.
Once Gibbs was safely out of sight Tony whacked McGee on the back with a resounding thud. "Hey, McGee, buddy. Congratulations man, your swimmers work."
XXXX
In the darkness of the nearly empty Bull Pen Tony sat waiting for Ziva and Rebekah. He felt nervous and ill at ease. Something was about to go terribly wrong. He could feel it. Try as he might he couldn't shake the gnawing sensation of dread deep in the pit of his stomach. He hadn't felt this way since before the raid on the warehouse that left Kate dead. He looked around to see if the team shared his worry. McGee was doing some geeky thing on the computer. Abby napped, head down on Ziva's desk. Gibbs was still in MTAC with the director. Apparently he was alone in his fear.
The elevator doors slid open with a Ding! and Rebekah stepped out looking like Commando Barbie. She smiled at Tony like a cat at prey and stepped aside, revealing Ziva. Tony felt his mouth go dry and his tongue cleave to the roof of his mouth at the sight of her. One look was all it took. He felt the familiar surge of heat in his groin.
She wore a black backless top so sheer she might as well have been naked. Her hip hugging leather pants revealed the cut muscles of her stomach. She strutted towards him with a walk designed to make men forget their wives and girlfriends. Swiftly she approached him on her stiletto heels and leaned down over his desk. He could see everything, nipples, belly button and bruise.
Ziva cocked her head to the side and studied him with ocean blue eyes. "Drool is how nature says 'don't touch' Tony. "
"I think that get up is how nature says 'Don't Touch', don't you Zee-Vah?" Tony replied sarcastically. Great. And erection of epic proportions and I can't do anything about it. Oh my God. I can't get up from my desk. Not unless I'm alone.
Rebekah rounded Tony's desk and came up behind him. She brushed up along side of him, her breasts grazing his shoulder. "These look great." She said, studying the pictures of him on the slab. "You don't feel like parting with a finger do you?"
"Not on your life." He snapped.
"How about on yours?" Rebekah asked coolly. She let her gaze flit to his lap and smiled. She whispered, her breath hot in his ear. "I see you like Ziva's outfit. Just so you know she's not wearing any underwear."
"Thanks. You've made everything so much better." He said. I take it back Ziva. She's the sick chick.
"Don't worry about the finger Rebekah. Ducky found one for me. It's fresh even." Ziva said. She still leaned on Tony's desk, studying him. Tormenting him was always great fun.
"You'd better hope it's not windy out or you'll lose that shirt." He taunted.
"Hmmp." She said, giving him a slight toss of her head. "I suppose you think the girls belong to you?"
"Want to know what I think? I think-"
"I think you'd better shut up DiNozzo." Gibbs said, appearing on the Bull Pen floor. He paused for a moment to raise his eyebrow at Ziva and then went back to looking pissed.
"What's the plan Boss?" Tony asked, edging himself closer to his desk. Ignore her. Maybe it'll go away and you won't embarrass yourself like a teenage boy.
Grumpily Gibbs began to issue orders. "McGee, you are to accompany Abby to our government safe house. The way this situation is deteriorating she needs to be protected. Let her out of your sight and you're a dead man."
"Will do boss." McGee nodded, relieved to maintain his anonymity as the father of Abby's child.
"Tony, you and Rebekah get to stay in the car as backup. I'm going into the club with Ziva. Let's go." He grabbed and extra clip from his desk drawer and strode towards the elevator.
Rebekah looked at Tony and Ziva and grinned. Both were locked in a visual pissing match. Neither of them noticed her deftly insert herself between McGee and Abby and shepherd them along. She hustled them into the elevator and turned around, punching the door closed.
"Rebekah!" Ziva shouted, annoyed. She sprinted to catch up. Too late. The doors slid shut. She reached out to press the elevator's call button but Tony knocked her hand out of the way. Swiftly he positioned himself between her and the button.
"Not so fast CatWoman. I want to talk to you." He had to explain his apprehension to her, get her to stop or switch places with Rebekah.
Ziva grabbed a fistful of his shirt and hauled him forward. "You had better not be trying to stop me from doing my job Tony." He could feel her body humming along in high gear, riding a wave of adrenaline. Convincing her to back down would not be easy.
"I have a bad feeling about this Ziva. I'm worried." He said seriously.
"I'll be fine." She released him. "Now get out my way."
"No."
"Get out of my way or I'll shoot you." She said impatiently.
He saw color rise in her cheeks. He smiled his half-smile. She had no patience with him and he loved it. He laughed. "I can see every inch of your body and there's no way you have a gun or knife hidden anywhere on you."
"True." She said, dragging the word out.
"There's no way in hell you're going to this meet unarmed."
"I'm not carrying, but I am armed." She said. He saw a glint of something he didn't recognize in her eye. She licked her lips.
"Yeah right. Ninja chick. I forgot."
"That's not what I'm talking about." Ziva pushed him roughly against the wall. Her body heat radiated through him in waves. "Mmmm." She sighed in his ear. She had a whole vocabulary of lovemaking sounds. Tony recognized this one as a precursor to hot, heavy and quick. She rocked her hips against his in simulation of lovemaking. "Oh." She said softly. "Oh."
Ziva nipped her way up his neck and kissed his earlobe. "You'd better not cover my mouth. I'm in the mood to scream," she said with a velvety purr.
He let out a low guttural groan. She had him. He couldn't think about anything but sex when she used that voice. He grabbed her bottom fiercely and squeezed it, moving her in rhythym with him. He kissed her deeply, letting his tongue slowly tangle with hers. I can't believe I'm doing this here. Oh well. It's dark. He released one hand and moved to insert his finger into the band of her pants.
Ziva broke off his kiss abruptly, pushing him back with her hand flat on his chest.
"Tony. These pants take 10 minutes to get on or off."
"So?"
"So you're not taking my pants off." She said.
"Sweet cheeks," he moaned.
"Don't worry. I have plans for you." She kissed him forcefully while she unbuttoned his shirt. She pushed the fabric aside and ran her hands over his ribs. "Mmmm." She moaned again. She placed her mouth on his flesh and flicked her tongue down the centre of his chest slowly, stopping just short of his waistband. Tony undid his pants, urging her lower. She obliged, kissing his exposed flesh gently.
"Swallow?" he asked dryly. She nodded yes.
He never saw it coming. Her hand slid up to press the elevator call button. Waiting for it, Ziva moaned as she kissed him. When she heard it slide open she peeled herself off and leapt in, leaving him standing befuddled on the brink of release.
"Don't ever try to stop me again Tony DiNozzo! Oh and in cause you missed it, sex is a weapon." She said as she punched 'close.' Just before the doors slid shut she shouted. "Go take a cold shower!"
"Too late." He hollered back.
XxXXX
So what'd you think? Not enough? Too much? Just right? Let me know.